A
female
age
30-35,
*emi12
writes:I am 18 years of age and my ex boyfriend is 22. We have been together 2years today. We have been split up for 3 weeks tomorrow. My ex split up with me because he said he needed a break because we had been living together for a few weeks because I got kicked out my home. I then packed my stuff and went to stay at a friends. My ex is constantly out of a weekend stays out till very late, turns his phone off and I do not hear anything of him. He also went behind my back 3 months ago he did not tell me I was looking on his phone and seen texts of the girl he had been to see. We have constantly argued because I do nt agree with him going out every weekend. I do not mind now and again but not every weekend. When my ex said he wanted a break I was in tears as I had just had enough of everything. He made me get to the point were i did not care anymore. I had literally had enough of everything so i felt like i had to get away. My ex does not realize that he has pushed me and pushed me to the point were I have had enough. So i booked a holiday with my mate to go and stay with my friend which is a boy who lies in Malta. I lied to my boyfriend and said i was staying with my mates friends. My ex boyfriend found out and doesn't want nothing to do with me. Now my ex doesn't want anything to do with me. I went to see my ex yesterday and said lets sort it out and I will not go on the holiday. He still doesn't want anything to do with me. Why cant i accept this? why do i still want him back? please give me some advice.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 May 2013):
 you want him back because even when it's bad, for some the idea of being alone or meeting someone new is harder than staying with the known same old thing.
It's EASIER to stay in a bad relationship than it is to branch out and allow yourself to meet new folks.
It's only been three weeks, you have not fully broken up yet as you still have contact... until you two have no contact you will still hold out hope...
You don't want to accept it because he's being kind to you and trying to have an amicable break up and you are interpreting it incorrectly as he will take you back.
THE Best thing you can do is make sure you have no reason to have any contact with him (nothing left at his place, nothing of his to return) and then delete him off your phone, block him on social media and mourn your loss.
He will always hold a special place for you... but with time you will see it's better to move on.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (21 May 2013):
The first six words of your post largely answers the question you are asking.
At your age, relationships are so novel its easy to think that they one you just had is the only one in the world and with someone you'll never find again, etc.
Spoiler for you - you will be in other relationships with people you love way more deeply than this guy, and you will regret every minute you wasted right now thinking about him.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 May 2013):
 When you say you lived together, am I correct in assuming that means he has his own place and does not live with his parents? You've made no mention of them.
Well, I'm a bit more sympathetic to your boyfriend. He has every right to come and go as he pleases, go out every weekend and stay out as long as he likes. He is a grown man with his own home and he supports himself. And if his home were a happier place for him to be, he'd spend more time there.
I think he's been feeling intruded upon because he went from having a girlfriend and his own space to being saddled with a dependant, teenage wife who nags him day and night. He was kind enough to take you in but this was not what he signed up for.
You're in no position to set any kind of limits on his freedom, especially since you aren't able to support yourself and rely solely on him. If your behaviour was bad enough that your own family threw you out, you can't expect someone else to tolerate it either.
This would be a good time for you to step back, take stock and review your situation more objectively and maturely.
And visiting another guy to get back at him is very, very childish, not to mention crummy to the friend. How would you like to be used by your friends as a means of revenge?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013): You listed a lot of good reasons to breakup with a boyfriend.He agreed and now you want him back. You apparently have no family home to accept you back. Perhaps because you burned all your bridges behind you, and left home at a very young age in defiance.You now want a boyfriend back that cheats on you and whom you have lied to. How do you financially support yourself? You move from one place to another. Your life is unstable and I can't see a reason why he would really want to take you back.You now have no place to live; and at your age, you can't really support yourself. Rent, food, clothing, and transportation can be expensive for someone who is living on their own at 18. It is just a matter of time before your friends can't offer you a place to live. That is, unless you have an agreement for an extended stay, and can contribute to the living expenses. Somehow I doubt you can.This situation is the result of a young woman who left home too early to be with an older guy, who holds all the cards and calls all the shots. You can't accept this, because you gave up everything to be with him. He doesn't want to sort it out, because your life is out of control and you now need to learn a lesson. You have made some poor decisions.Go home to your family. Try to fix whatever mess you made by leaving. Try to get into a school. Find a way to get an education and a job so you can be independent, and make a living to support yourself. The relationship is over, so what choice do you have?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (20 May 2013):
 You need to straighten things out with your family and not depend on cheater boyfriends or other guy friends for a place to stay. Malta is a place to sight see and blow money, not an indefinite lodging place. It's hard for you to move on because you would rather tough it out with your ex then to face your parents. Yes you are of adult age and is supposed to have your own place but I would find it hard to believe any parents would be so heartless to let you become homeless. I am sure your city has resources as well. When you have drive and ambition you will not have to depend on guys who take advantage of you. Long term goals s far better than short term fixes and travelling on a suitcase.
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