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Would you date someone with so many tattoos? Or would you fear it would ruin your reputation?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 May 2013) 17 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Today while on lunch break a friend said to me, very openly and out loud, "did you see all the tattoos on that guy's face? He must have been to prison!"

I quietly nodded then thought of something... I was very attracted to another friend who had many, many tattoos. His whole upper body was covered except his face; his neck, arms, chest, and hands.

A relationship never blossomed but I wondered what it would have been like if I would have been in a relationship with someone like that. I have huge career goals and, as made clear by my friend at lunch, many people don't view others with massive amounts of tattoos as being necessarily successful. I just wondered if it would have ruined my reputation or respect others have for me just because of my boyfriend's appearance.

I'm curious on other people's dead HONEST opinions. Would would date someone with so many tattoos? Would you fear it would ruin your reputation? Would you look at a friend differently if they were in a relationship with someone like that?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (21 May 2013):

chigirl agony aunt"Would would date someone with so many tattoos?"

Yes. How people look is on the surface. It's the same as asking if I'd date a man with brown eyes, or a man with red hair.

"Would you fear it would ruin your reputation?"

No. Why would it? I'm not the ones with the tattoos. I wouldn't dream of covering myself in tattoos (especially not in the face), but I don't judge anyone who chooses that for themselves. So in return, I do not expect judgment either. But even if there was judgment, I'm still not the one with the tattoos. If people had comments on it I would assume it is because they are jealous because I have a hot boyfriend.

"Would you look at a friend differently if they were in a relationship with someone like that?"

Define "someone like that". What is different about a person with tattoos? Are they more aggressive? Are they better in bed? Are they unable to keep a job? The question makes as much meaning as if you asked about a man with brown eyes, would you date "someone like that". What does it imply, that a man has tattoos? Does it mean he has been to prison? Dating a man who has been to prison is an entirely different question. Tattoos on their own say little, unless you're asking about a tattoo that clearly is a sign of a man from prison, or belonging to a gang etc.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (21 May 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI’m inked. I’m 53 and it’s very much against the religion I was raised with.

I have one small tatt on my wrist but my others are covered by business clothing and when folks who don’t know me well find out I’m inked they are surprised.

I work with inked folks. I work with pierced folks and even folks with carvings. Some of our folks have rather intricate sleeve work. Thankfully even though we are professionals we work in a fairly casual office and it’s not a huge issue.

I would not worry about MY reputation if I was dating a person with multiple tattoos. I would also not want to be friends with folks who would JUDGE me or my partner based on their art choices. INK is ART for many. When I go for a job interview, they don’t ask me “is your husband tattooed?” or anything else about my partner as he’s not the one being interviewed.

I’m inked. My current husband is NOT inked or pierced. He wears a military haircut and is very precise and yet my tattoos are fine with him. I even had one covered and changed shortly before our wedding at his request.

I think the best rule for tattoos is “all tattoos must be coverable by business clothing.”

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (21 May 2013):

I would not have one myself, nor would I date someone who had many. I am in a business where my reputation for competence, education, expertise, and reliability are everything. For better or worse, hosting a bunch of tattoos does not help this image. For the most part, tattoos represent "free spirit," "defy authority," etc. Not necessarily bad traits in themselves, but definitely not someone I would want to hire to manage my 401k for sure.....

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A female reader, Caring Aunty A Australia +, writes (21 May 2013):

Caring Aunty A agony auntAll Tattoos be it Tribal or an Art form have a way of telling us a story about that person or culture! It depicts a time, a person’s belief, and their rebellion or documents an event… For me tattoos reveal that’s person’s individual message/story to the outside world. Literally they are wearing their heart on a sleeve.

Much is judged or assumed by the outside appearance – Tattoo, dress attire etc; it’s like judging a book by its cover!? After all it is the first image we see and the rest is based on our impression through ignorance and tolerance.

So if I were to date someone with Tattoos (which I have); I’d first be drawn to the ART and then I’d ask about there meaning and significance; as if I wouldn’t know already. I’d also be aware that certain friends etc. would find my dating him as different to put it politely, as this guy had Tattoos. Yes it is a barrier that some people hold ignorant opinions/views about.

However I was simply dating, not marrying the guy, needing him to impress anyone or by me being rebellious… Yet the important factor was his personality and values and sooner than latter it became apparent. He was an angry person! Which to me further explained his tattoos of choice – it was like the writing was on the wall/skin!?

Naturally this doesn’t apply to everyone with Tatts, although there are common denominators

Take Care - CAA

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013):

Well I think it depends what industry you are in. If you are a doctor or running for office, no I dont think a tattoo would flatter you. And people might look down on you or not take you seriously. But if you are a musician or an artist, actor (many of which are very successful), a tattoo becomes a part of your creative expression and persona.

I would date a guy with tattoos if he were say a drummer in a rock band.

I would also date a doctor but never one with a tattoo. No way. It just doesn't go.

I dont know what your profession is. As people can find success in any industry whether its creative or scholarly. And generally tattoos are less taboo in industries that are more creative in nature.

But there is nothing wrong with a person in a scholarly profession to date a creative type who may have tattoos.

I don't think dating someone with tattoos is going to affect your career prospects just as long as that person has talent, success and ambitions of his own.

What if you were dating the lead singer of Coldplay? Im sure he has tattoos. He is also incredibly talented, successful, and rich!

I think Brad Pitt has tattoos. You wouldnt date Brad Pitt? Tattoos aside, he is so connected he'd make all your career goals possible. And Im sure you would be the envy of all your co workers.

So I think more importantly than judging someone solely based on their tattoos, you have to make sure they also have the drive for success, and the talent you have to succeed.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013):

i'm not opposed to some ink, that is, except in the face of course, I would do it myself if I weren't a chick afraid of needles but I would date a guy who had tatoos no problem, and who cares about what other people think? people are always gonna judge you for something just live your life and try not to care too much

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (20 May 2013):

tattoos are upto the person, one of my closest friends has 11 and she is respectable and a very decent and honest person. she also has had several piercings, and taken them out over time, she gets tired of the negative attention this attracts but like I say it is personal taste and a private thing.

however I would most definitely draw the line at facial tattoos and my friend would too.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013):

I've dated women with tattoos I think they're sexy to a degree. Facial tattoos are a no-no for me.

I'm not into women who are hardcore body modders. Stretched ears and lots of facial piercings etc.

I respect their individuality and think it's cool, just not attractive.

If I was though I wouldn't have any problem dating or care about reputation, I have no place in my life for people, professionally or otherwise who judge me based on what my partner does or looks like.

They judge me based on my merit, what I bring to to the team and my personal life is none of their business.

OP if you have friends that will judge you for dating a nice guy just because he has tattoos then you need new friends.

If your reputation with them is so dependent on what kind of guy you date then they're shit friends.

As long as my friends are happy, the guy/girl is good to them I don't care if they have purple skin, 40 eyes and are 10 feet tall.

I only have a problem with and only have my friends rep ruined if they're dating abuser and won't leave, or they're acting like a doormat and refuse to do what's right for themselves. I can tolerate a lot from my friends but I don't have friends who are weak willed or pushovers.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013):

I LOVE tattoos on a man! I think they're incredibly sexy and I always dreamed of marrying a man with a tattoo or tattoo. I got cheated out of the love of my life, but I'm not bitter.

Anyone who would look at a tattood guy and think, ''delincuent'' is a moron. I would never give up on a guy because of what shallow people think about me. Doctors, teachers, etc. have tattoos nowadays. The same people who could save someone's life or educate their kids... they're not just for delincuents. I would never judge a book by its cover.

But, I don't like face tattoos... I think they're a bit headed toward mutilation. That's just my preference.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (20 May 2013):

janniepeg agony auntThis means I am judgmental then but at least I know to keep my mouth shut. I won't look for one with tatoos but if I became friends with one and he showed me good qualities then I wouldn't care less what other people think. My first impression is that tattooed people are artistic, rebellious, but they need a second skin for an identity, as if their own skin is not beautiful enough. My ex would say that women with tattoos are called tramp stamps. My reaction wouldn't be that strong but I would wonder what's the point of ruining your skin?

You can be the best tattoo artist but I believe art belongs to paper, sculptures and other mediums but not on skin, permanently. I respect people having other views and if they are happy with their choice who am I to judge?

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A female reader, Got Issues United Kingdom +, writes (20 May 2013):

Got Issues agony auntI'm not a massive fan of tattoos, mainly because I got some done before the age of 20 and ended up regretting them, and am still paying lots of money for laser tattoo removal, but that's my story. I still find them quite fascinating, especially the stories behind them. I like asking people why they have the tattoos they have.

People get tattoos for all sorts of reasons. I remember reading an interview with Mia Tyler where she said she was getting a lot of tattoos to cover her scars from self-harm. She has lots of tattoos but she hasn't been to prison.

Basically it's very ignorant to say that someone must be a criminal because s/he has a lot of tattoos. Yes, a lot of prisoners have tattoos but so do a lot of law abiding citizens.

The only time I would judge someone for their tattoos would be if they had a swastika or similar provocation because I would know that we didn't share the same values and so I would stay away from them. I might also raise my eyebrows at a Twilight tattoo - not for moral reasons but just because, well, you know, it's Twilight. Sorry Twihards.

Seriously, though, don't just go along with what someone says if you don't agree. If it happens again, say that you dated someone with tattoos and that he was lovely. Embarrass your friend by calling her out on her ignorance.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (20 May 2013):

largentsgirl89 agony aunt"Must have been to prison?" Really?

My boyfriend has two sleeves. Meaning both of his arms are completely covered by tattoos and he is the sweetest man I have ever been with. Great with kids and loves animals and he treats me better than anyone I've ever been with.

If my friend decided to judge my bf based on his decision to put tattoos on himself, I no longer need that friend. Having tattoos doesn't mean low class, it doesn't mean someone has been to prison. Just because a person has tattoos doesn't mean they're a bad person.

It's their body and their choice. I can't believe your friend said that. Just sounds rude and ignorant and very judgmental.

You're worried about your reputation if you date someone who has tattoos? Really? Ted Bundy didn't have any tattoos and he was a real winner. Why do you care? Honestly? If people base your reputation on who you date and whether or not they have tattoos, perhaps you should find new friends or somewhere to live that doesn't live in such a repressive time period.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013):

No, I wouldn't date someone with a huge amount of tattoos. I don't really care for permanent tattoos and there are many health issues that have come up with them. I have no tattoos and would never get a permanent one, I don't like the idea of a permanent marking on the body.

I was brought up feeling this is low class, so I guess that is why I avoided it, but I'm not saying everyone who has a tattoo is low class.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (20 May 2013):

llifton agony auntI love tattoos and have many myself. None on my face, however. But I find others with tattoos to be extremely attractive. I also try not to make judgement calls on other people's lives. and therefore I also wouldn't worry about what useless opinions others have on someone they don't know.who cares if they have tattoos?

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (20 May 2013):

shrodingerscat agony auntMy husband's arms are covered in tattoos. I could care less what it might do to my reputation, because it's none of anyone's business what my husband does to his own skin. If they want to judge ME for what HE does to his own body, they're the idiots, not me.

In short, yes I would date someone with a lot of tattoos and no I would not worry. No I would not judge a friend as a bad person if they dated someone with a lot of tattoos. Colors on a person's skin in NO WAY reflects upon their moral character, PERIOD.

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (20 May 2013):

Intrigued3000 agony auntI work in the corporate world and I know many colleagues who have tattoos under their suits. Hell even I have a couple.

I'm attracted to men with tattoos, and I would feel proud to be seen with someone who in my eyes represents rebellion. I have no problem with any kind of body art and this includes piercings

Your friend sounds very close minded and judgemental.

You cannot and should not judge a book by its cover.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (20 May 2013):

R1 agony auntI don't think it would affect anyone's reputation. But as someone who doesn't have any tatoos I doubt I would have that much in common with anyone who was heavily tattooed!

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