A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years because he was basically cheating on me. He didn't sleep with her or physically cheat on me, but I found out that him and her were flirting a lot and always up talking all night and exchanging pictures. She also asked him to have webcam sex (he didn't) but I thought the flirting and exchanging naked pictures were enough to make me not trust him around her anymore. I was actually really surprised by this because she's been in and on again off again relationship with a good friend of his, and he and a couple of his friends would joke around saying she's a slut and stuff. Well, if that's how he felt about her then why did he do this?Me and him are broken up now, and what bothers me is that he is still friends with her and all of his friends are all over her as well. It's like she has now replaced me, it's a weird feeling. He still contacts me and tells me how much he loves me and misses me. I just don't understand what happened here or why this all happened. Did I make the right choice by breaking up with him? How do I move on from this? I've been a total wreck lately and I'm devastated.
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (21 May 2013):
 You are a strong person and did the right thing. As for your ex, he needs to make a decision its her or you and from where I stand he sacrificed you for this "fling".
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013): You did the right thing. He continues to be in contact with her. He has shown you his true colors.
She is a pass around girl to his friends. They know they can get sex off of her. That is all she is good for in their eyes.
You have retained your self-respect.
I'd block your ex-boyfriend off your cell phone and any social media sites. Personally, I wouldn't have any contact with him anymore after what they have done.
It's time to move on. There is a guy out there that will cherish you for who you are and respect your values.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 May 2013):
 Best advice I can offer is for you to separate yourself from that sophomoric situation that you've described.... and let out a "Whew" .... and be glad that they are in your past.....
Good luck with your, much better, future....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2013): You did the right thing to breakup. However; in order for you to recover and be able to accept the end of the relationship; you have to cease all contact with your ex.You have to distance yourself, and ignore his Facebook updates in order to allow your mind to adjust to your ex being with someone else. That's mental torture. Don't feed into it. This sounds impossible at the moment. That's because the wounds of the breakup are still fresh. You can't let yourself be preoccupied with this girl and your ex-boyfriend. It will keep you from getting on with your life and finding someone you deserve. As long as your broken-heart lies open for him, it is closed to someone better.You have to fight for your own emotional survival and not let these people hold you prisoner to your thoughts, and paralyzed by jealousy and resentment. That is a normal reaction, and you don't have to beat yourself up about it.You will experience a lot of sadness, grief, and other emotions that will pull you up and down for awhile.I personally hate the term "move on." Like you can turn your feelings off like a faucet. It totally sucks.You must take control of your thoughts, and redirect your feelings for him toward yourself; to initiate the healing process. Go hangout with friends, bury yourself in work or studies. Take some free time, get dressed up pretty, and go out to have fun. You should workout at the gym to stay fit, work off that frustration, and to clear your head. Maintainyour curves, increase your dating potential, and feel good about yourself.Your ego is a little bruised, so splurge on yourself. Get a new hairstyle or color your hair. Pay special attention to your diet to stay healthy. Avoid jumping into any new relationships. Give yourself time before getting involved with another guy. Your feelings are raw and you are vulnerable. It will be a disaster. Trust me on that.When you become your center of focus, you speed up your recovery time. You rediscover yourself, rebuild your confidence, you can boost your self-esteem, and enjoy your independence as a single woman. He has inspired you to be a better woman, and taught you lessons that will prepare you for a better relationship in the future. He took a little piece of heart. Just get better until the right guy comes along to fill it. You are very young and have a lot of life ahead. There may be more heart-breaks ahead, but you are building strength for the future, and you learn from every relationship as you go. These life- lessons prepare us for that special person out there waiting. Good luck, and I wish you a speedy recovery and lots of love!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 May 2013):
 You made the right choice breaking up with him. What happened is that he enjoyed cheap thrills to boost his ego. He cared about getting this need met more than your own feelings. He does not care about the other woman also, as long as she makes him feel macho. It's not about you. With a man who needs multiple woman in his life, no one woman will be perfect for him and he won't deserve a good girlfriend. You move on from this by being glad that he can't hurt you anymore, but you have to do your part in stopping on checking up on his life.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (20 May 2013):
 The fact that he continues to have her in his life tells me that you did the right thing. He knew he risked losing you, and even when you walked out, he didn't try to change his behaviour. Normally a guy shouldn't have to choose between a female friend and his girlfriend but they were both acting really inappropriately and he should have stopped having this kind of contact with her. He didn't and if you had stayed with him, he probably would have cheated physically sooner or later. It's hard to feel it now, but you did the right thing and you will feel better eventually. Give yourself time, allow yourself some time to be devastated and to wallow. You will have to get used to not having him in your life. You could ask him not to contact you, telling you he misses you. That's only going to make things harder for you. No contact is better because it allows you to draw a lone under things and begin to move on, even though it's harder at first.
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