A
female
age
30-35,
*hereisthelove94
writes:Basically, me and my boyfriend have just split up from a 2 year relationship, one of which has been long- distance as I am at university. I am 19 and he is 20. We're both absolutely devastated as we both still love each other and were also best friends. Our reason for splitting is that we're two very different people. He is a very small town guy, whereas I have big dreams and am very ambitious. He already has his dream job (bus driving and I'm currently at university studying nursing.In the end i had to make the hard decision to end it. Truthfully, I had a gut feeling that he wasn't the one for me. I didn't want to waste his time and thought it would be kinder to let him find someone right for him instead of stringing him along. We always argued about the same things, and there were things about us that just didn't fit. We are both hurting so badly at the moment, as we have not really been apart in about 2 years. We made each other our entire world, and as a consequence we both now feel very lost. Yes, it was our fault for being so devoted to each other, but we were in love, we didn't realize how deep we had dug our pit. My head is all over the place at the moment. Im really not sure if I have made the right decision. He told me that I would regret ending it because no one would ever love me as much as he did. It hurt to hear him say that, but i cant help but think that he's right. What if i never do find someone that will love me as much as he did? I knew he truly loved me, he would do anything for me, he was genuine and I trusted him wholeheartedly.I know its a cliche, but my head is telling me no, and my heart is telling me go...I know deep down that we aren't right for each other, but the thought of not having him kills me. We've always argued about that same things, and it came to the point where i thought if i don't get out now, i never will. Now that i am out I'm starting to question my decision...Please someone tell me this is normal to feel this way? I really don't want to be wrong about my gut feeling, but I can't help but think ill regret it for the rest of my life...Please someone help...
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ambition, best friend, split up, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Auntie5  +, writes (29 April 2013):
Yes, it's normal to feel conflicted after breaking up with someone you care about. But when your head and your heart are telling you different things, you should follow your head.
You will find someone else who will love you deeply, who will be more suited to you. Just keep telling yourself that while you're grieving the loss of your relationship. Give it time, and you will be ready to meet Mr. Right.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2013): Relationships are about trust and open and honest communications. Something didn't happen in that department so you ended. Move on, I am sure your future will be better. Don't beat yourself up over this. It takes two people to make a relationship work successfully. Good-luck.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 April 2013):
 You should just keep it broken up. If you get back together things won't be the same. You are having doubts because you know that love will not be enough. A relationship is much more than loyalty and stability. When you have a guy who can match up with your intellect, your love will come easy, and you don't feel like you are settling. It's very normal to regret a break up but always remember, it feels better to be single than to be with a guy who doesn't feel right to you. Your love will be phony when your mind wanders about what other guy has better qualities. Incompatability increases you temptation for affairs. He can say what he believes love is, and you don't have to let it guilt you. Whenever you feel sad, come back on this site to see people marrying out of guilt, feeling trapped because they didn't have the guts to end it earlier.
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