A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupids,my boyfriend of 1 year and i have a really healthy sex life, and even though he is the only man i've ever slept with, i never felt like i need to try a second flavor or anything.On the other hand, after a chat last night with my boyfriend, i knew that once he had a triplet, and the idea boosted me up, and i can't get it out of my head.My boyfriend had w wild life before me, but since we got together he has been faithful, and we are soon going to get engaged. Doing sex without marriage made me feel gaulty at first, but now i feel like i need more, mean while, my boyfriend is saying that he has taken the desicion of not doing any sex before marriage.i know he will never do it becuase he is kind of a sex addict, but it makes me wonder: is he saying that because he is bored of me and wants to return to the other women? Or is this the start of a new clean him? Should i tell him that he can not simply stop and leave me needy or would that sound bad?I love him, and i'm sure he loves me too, but what does stipping sex all of a sudden means?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you a lot for your answers they really helped, and the best part was that no one said he might be cheating.
we are still holding hands and even kissing passionatly, yet no sex. he is religous and by the way the no sex thing is making me love him more, and the when the needs increase, i deal with them by satisfying my slef. is that healthy??
i am planning on talking to him soon in the week end, thank you again you really helpes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2013): Hi, He sounds like a wild addict for sure! For this reason, I think it is fisable that he's just decided he sees sex, due to his past promiscuity, as a sworded, shameful thing- and he wants to honour you as someone who isn't part of something as he maybe sees unpure... Why not? Everyone has to deal with addiction anyway... It's very difficult for anyone on here to give you the truth; you're the one who knows him; you need to follow your instincts and get to the bottom of this by talking to him- and telling him that you have NEEDS. Lol...- he should make the effort to accommodate your needs, or compromise, as why should his feelings take precedence over yours? this is something important to you and like the last poster said- if he still plays the chastity thing there is definitely something suspicious... He may be taking you for a mug... Talk to him- just be Honest and open about what you need! :) Xx
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (16 June 2013):
 If I am being positive, it could mean that he takes marriage seriously and he wants to make sure this relationship is based on love, not sex. He wants to keep wooing you and wants to love you without the motive of sex.
The other part of me feels like he is hesitating about the idea of marriage and secretly thinks that you will let him go if the sex stops. Or, some people have this Madonna whore complex in which they can't see a sexual person within a wife/mother figure.
It could be torturous to go back to no sex after you started it. It makes you wonder will sex stop all together after marriage. When you are not going to his bedroom, not kissing passionately, then what else would you be doing to build connection? Would you still be holding hands, being sweet, getting to know each other, or would you be having arguments, doubting your love with each other?
I assume he is your age so his thinking about relationships is not as mature and confident as a 40 year old.
If he is religious then he is as hypocritical as it gets. If he is not, he is acting suspicious. This is a time to keep your cool, and distance to indirectly let him know that this chastity thing sounds like bullshit.
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