A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship right now (am staying in my university town all summer due to family issues). However, I was curious as to what was out there besides boys from my uni and decided to join an online dating site for fun (it's for members of my particular religion, who are the only guys I go out with as I'm strongly religious.)I didn't actually expect to find anyone. Even with a blank profile, I got a couple of weird messages but there were quite a few guys whom I liked the look of, and one who seemed not only good-looking but also pretty nice from his description and what he wrote about himself, though he's a bit older than me and out of uni. I'm REALLY tempted to give him a shout, but I'm not sure if I should or not, and I don't have a photo on my profile either (there are too many pervs online) so he might just think I'm a troll or a scammer or something. I'm not sure how I'd feel about sending a stranger a picture of me/adding them on Facebook either. There are a few other people my age, but no uni students, on the site either.Should I contact him or not? I've got a lot to juggle this summer as it is, but he seems like quite a decent guy! My main worry is that I'm not ready for a relationship right now (I wouldn't even be able to introduce him to my parents or siblings due to the kind of people they are; that's why I'm staying at university all summer and becoming independent.)Thanks!
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female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (6 June 2013):
 I think you should message him. There's no harm in dating for fun, even if you are busy and can only see him occasionally. Not every relationship has to be serious and end in marriage, so there's absolutely no harm in talking to him and seeing if he'd like to meet somewhere for lunch.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 June 2013):
 You should look for guys who want to be friends. I am 32 and I didn't start looking online until I was 30. I don't look for younger guys so I am not too sure what this crowd is like. My experience is that there are a lot of men looking for sex but post that they are looking for friends, or hang out. So you don't know who's honest until you get to know them in person, and at least for a few months.
When I was in college I didn't realize how small my bubble was. The internet opened up a whole world for me. Just knowing how many people are searching for something, I don't feel as lonely. But I would not put too much hope in online dating.
When you are not sure what you looking for, which is perfectly fine, the best thing to do is find activity partners. Browse for similar interests and go from there, so the focus won't be on sex or just filling an emptiness.
It doesn't hurt to message him, but do it with an attitude like you are not too concerned if he replies or not. Not everyone follows the courtesy to reply promptly. Not like a real life acquaintance, online people can disappear whenever they want, even after they say words like "soulmate" and promise you the whole world.
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