A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey All,I posted this question before and it was basically about this guy I met on a dating site. I did not like him too much but I think he liked the date, and me. I didn't want to judge too early so I decided to take it forth.We are in different states and I'll be gone for another 3-4 months. I even mentioned that to him. Turns out that even though he is open to a relationship, he is just taking things really slowly and is comfortable with just a small fling or something with me. I am okay with that, or at least I thought so. I am gone for a while, so why is willing to wait for so long. He said we could date whoever in the mean time and he went on a date that din't work too well for him. After that he is just waiting for me to come back. Do flings work like this? I'm not interested in any kind of a relationship with him, really. And I made that quite clear to him at the beginning. He is okay with it too.Now we talk ever so often and I don't know where this is leading. Its going nowhere and I just want to step in and stop this charade. I'm so confused. I can't keep talking to him for 3-4 months, I don't even like him so much. But I can't help it either. Its like I'm addicted to speaking with him. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 June 2013):
 We fall into this trap: Something is better than nothing. It had become a habit and it feels empty to suddenly have that taken away. It's also hard to be the one who dumps because it feels cruel. I think he is comfortable with this arrangement particularly because he isn't going to commit to any real face to face, daily relationship now. There is no pressure, no heartbreak, but no real meaning either. Flings only work when both people want it casual, and they like each other enough to overlook flaws or pretend not to see them.
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