A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mind is completely shattered as I write this question.I fell in love with a guy who waited 3 years for me. It has been almost an year since we got committed. Of course there have been problems but we were never tired of each other. But now, it is like he is happy with everybody except me. He hasn't time to spare for me. And the worst thing is that I have become all the more possessive about him. My self esteem is really low that when he goes after other people, I get this idea that I am never enough to keep him happy. I am always taken for granted. I want to stop wagging around him like a puppy bugging him to treat me the way he used to treat me. How can I get out of my present situation?
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fell in love, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2013): Hey honey there is definitely wrong here with this picture. He has apparently had enough of you and is giving non verbal communications to let you know. Yes your self esteem is crushed but it wont improve. Why do you allow this kind of behaviour? Unacceptable in a relationship. Relationships is about giving and sharing between two consenting people. Your not getting anything back from him. Time to let him go and you get the help you need to get your self esteem improved. Good-luck.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 May 2013):
 If this is his first relationship, he has no idea what a relationship brings and he may not be ready to settle down without playing the field a bit. You dated him for his good qualities and right now you are living with his bad ones. Maybe he is realizing relationships are not what he idealized to be, and right now he wants his freedom.
When you are saying he is looking after other people, are they guys or girls? It's normal to want down time with guys, but not giving you time at all is not normal. Don't forget you also direct the course of this relationship. IF he's not the right guy for you you don't have to wait for a green light to end it. He is not a bad person for not enjoying the relationship anymore but he can't leave you hanging. If he is playing dumb for not knowing you need to feel special in the relationship then you need to let him go. Real love is a committment to each other even when things settle down and feelings calm down.
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