A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am recently divorced after a tumultuous marriage that began in my early 20s and I am finally ready to date again. I am finding that the women I date and get somewhat interested in all seem to have one characteristic which is that they all start off extremely hot towards me but then they blow cold after a short while.By that I mean that if we first meet and hit it off they can't seem to get enough of me. My voicemail will be full of messages and they will text me all the time. To be honest, it seems a little desperate and I am not as eager as they are even if I like them. Before long, though, they take quite some time to get back to me. I don't know how to take that. I don't want to rush into anything, but at the same time I feel like if I am a little standoffish I shouldn't be shunned. I don't need to text a woman I just met back 12 times a day, do I? I am just miffed that a woman can go from blowing up my cell phone a dozen times a day to never getting back to me in the span of a week or two. Is it me or is it them? Frankly, I find it offensive when a woman I *THOUGHT* I hit it off with suddenly starts to give me the cold shoulder. I realize women deal with this from guys, too, but I feel like I completely don't understand what dating is like these days. I really want to meet a woman I can settle down with. I don't want to string a woman along. After just a couple of dates I don't know where a woman might stand but I feel like I am offending her if I don't commit right away. Do I need to be paying attention to her non-stop or else she assumes I am not interested? Dating in this cyber age seems so much more complicated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2014): Yu are doing something wrong if women blow you off in a bit. You didnt date for quite awhile, now Internet took over where you can meet people 4 hours a day. Too many choices. No one wants to waste time. The way you respond may be tells them that you are not that interested and they move on. It's actually a vey sad situation for people who want to take it slowly but the way this lifein moving now no one wants to wait and see. You don't have to commit right away but may be to respond promptly, don't wait forever to make a date may be this will keep women interested. I will give you an example. I met this guy who really liked in a very beginning. We went on one date, and then he started texted me twice a day without setting up another date. A week passed, no mentioning of meeting up, just texting how was your night, how was your day. It seemed like he was keeping in touch dating other women. I gave him time till weekend. When he didn't make plans with me for the weekend, I in my mind "deleted" him. He texted me 3 more times. I never texted him back and then he stopped
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 November 2014):
 This is funny. Chances are they are playing the field or using you. Its funny bc they are stupid bitches and youre genuine. Stay away from bars and clubs youll find nothin but whores there. Do not let these women hurt any confidence. They arent worth anything from you. No thinking. No emotional energy. As a tip to test womens seriousness, make them chase. Find ways. As soon as shes attracted to you make her chase slowly then bring it on full to really see where she stands with you. Ppls words dont mean shit. Its action man. Action. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 November 2014):
 They could be dating other guys at the same time, or they are just into free meals. It sucks to be waiting for texts, wondering what a guy's thinking so may be they date and date, until they find a guy who commits right away (yes there are such guys). They can afford to do that because there are enough guys out there. People who do this have no faith in dating. The circular dating thing had been endorsed by popular culture. It's not what I abide by though. I prefer doing one on one.
No you don't have to be texting 12 times a day after you just met. I wonder how many women do this to you. If all do the same and you had been dating more than 10 women who are like this, then you can either 1) be patient and wait for a woman who is considerate and like to take it slow or 2) change or tactics and commit sooner, if she proves to be a nutcase then dump her right away. It wouldn't really kill you to respond to 12 texts a day would it?
It seems that people don't have the patience nowadays. They would dive right in, then move on to another if it doesn't work out. They figure it saves time to be doing this then taking it slow and have it not work out anyways.
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