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*ELLULAH
writes:Hi all,I find it really disturbing that one of our Aunts (WE ALL KNOW WHO) is ranting and raving over religion. He is clearly very disturbed, and should anyone that has such extreme views be giving advice? We are all entitled to believe in what we like, but this man is trying to ram his down everyones throats. Just wondered what everyone thinks?Should he stay a virgin until he meets the woman of his dreams? Is it likely to happen? Will there be any virgins left by then? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (22 April 2008):
 Jamey I think you have to get your facts right, before you start calling people dirtbags. Tellulah simply asking people's opinion on a guy who is very religious and occasionally posts his letter on Dear Cupid whether fornication and adultery is a sin. This guy MENTIONING NO NAMES, is sprouting venom on people who have sex before marriage, unmarried mothers and divorced people who remarry.
If this guy believes and wants to have sex until after marriage, FINE THAT IS UP TO HIM!!!! But this guys takes it to extremes and forces his opinions down people's throats, which other people on here take offence to.
I believe that we are put on this earth to live the way we choose and have a happy and fulfilling life. When you get people on here talking about things, they clearly have little knowledge and without experience forcing their issues. He is going to get people's backs up.
So next time you start being DISCURTEOUS AND RUDE to people on Cupid, I suggest you put your brain into gear before you open your mouth and do more research of what we are all discussing. I rest my case.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Having followed Daniel's link, it becomes clear that this Jamie or Jamey or whatever his name is, is having a bit of a laugh. He's obviously just a schoolkid with far too much time on his hands, and is on a mission to get people wound up. I must admit he's doing a pretty good job of it so far! I think he needs to practice a bit more on his memory skills, because he trips himself up so easily.
Basically, he's not all that clever, but I'd definitely advise him to make the most of it while he still knows everything!
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reader, TELLULAH +, writes (22 April 2008):
TELLULAH is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you Daniel,
I have looked at the link, and I can now see that this is just a 17 year old boy, with no understanding of life yet. Its a shame that he feels the way he does, because far from getting girls to think that he is special, he will put a lot off with his attitude. All men are not bastards and not all women are bitches, whores, whatever name's you can think up at the age of 17.
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 April 2008):
 Tellulah is not a dirtbag and is not running any campaign against anyone. She put a clever post on someone who was calling people names, because they don't happen to match his standards. This person wanted to feel superior by putting people down. What Tellulah did was simply do to him what he was doing to the rest.
You, Jamey 37 or Jamey Williams, have a thing for doing the same as The Person We All Know About. We can't know if you're the same person, but you do act the same way. Here's the link for anyone curious:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/id-like-to-gain-knowledge-from-women-and.html
You, Jamie Williams, also have a right to speak your mind. You have. I'm speaking my mind, too.
It seems like virginity may have a side effect. People who abstain from sex feel like they are better than people who don't. I wonder why we have sex organs, if it's not to to put them to good (very good) use.
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reader, TELLULAH +, writes (22 April 2008):
TELLULAH is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf you notice, I never mentioned any name. And I have no problem with him staying a virgin either, your right! it is a very hard thing to do.
I just think that calling ladies Whore's because they have been divorced through no fault of there own is rather extreme. Calling me a scumbag, only confirms to me that you have 1: The same extreme views, of women. or 2: are more than likely the same person signed on in another name.
I dont really care which of the two you are. And I also have freedom of speech and have every right to stand up for the lovely and caring people I have met on here, against a fanatical nutcase.
Thank you for your input, I did try to look at your column, just to try and check on the advice you give. But I could not get onto your link. I have to say this came as no surprise, and found it rather amusing.
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reader, jamey_37  +, writes (22 April 2008):
 Ok.. umm... I don't even know who you're talking about...
but that is a very low, and immature thing to do on your part...
He can give whatever advice he wants... freedom of speech.. but you don't have to follow his advice.. i'm sure you have alot more to choose from... and you're really just being a dirtbag running a smear campaign on here against whoever this aunt is.
If he wants to stay virgin til then.. more power to him.. that's tough to do.
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (21 April 2008):
 I agree he has a right to believe what he wants, it is when he starts insulting everyone that gets me. Living his life in the way he does does not make him any better than anyone else as he seems to think. And emailing me saying I have no morals and let anyone in my pants is beyond uncalled for. He does not know me or anyone on here who gave him advice. He has no right to insult people only giving their opinion on not having such high impossible standards. He can do whatever he wants but he cannot say whatever he pleases and still believe this makes him a good person. He needs to stop with the judgement. I'll stop writing now before I get angry about it again. But thanks for asking this, it feels good to get it off my chest.
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reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 April 2008):
 Religion is a personal thing for a man with his God.
Though we may share the same God , yet we may have extreme or completely opposite views.
In religion , we have different levels of faith and understandings.
Whether we sit or stand for God, it will be God who will
decide.If we are wrong, it will be God who will teach the wrong doer.
God is the only judge and we should not judge anyone but to accept them as they are.
God did not appoint anyone to be the custodian of your soul.
Therefore , what ever you believed or quote from the Bible,
it has no meanings if you do not do it out of love.
Right or wrong, he can believed anything he wants .
You can agree or disagree with him.
If it is good, you accept it and if it is wrong to you ,
you don't have to take it as the Gospel truth even if he can quote it from the Bible.
God is all about love and not about 'holier than thou attitude!"
If he wants to live by his code of conduct, just let him
for he is entitled to think that way.
Only the truth will set him free.
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reader, Twirly +, writes (19 April 2008):
 Hey Tallulah!
Im with you on this one, but sadly, as you can see from some of the responses here, a lot of others are with him (albeit not as extreme sounding!)
My feeling is that he expressed his beliefs about virginity and adultery in the form of 2 very sketchy questions and then leapt upon any responses with a tirade of insults, sweeping generalisations and bible quotes.
Im a big believer in what goes around comes around, and regarding this website, he has already discredited himself with his ridiculous behaviour and jeapordised any chances of being taken seriously so that's something! The whole 'engineer hoist with his own petard' thing, so to speak.
Regarding him responding to other's questions, I do agree that there should be freedom of opinion but there is the new 'report unhelpful comment' feature which should soon weed out the lunatics and I also think that most people would quickly catch on to the fact that his responses seems fanatical even if they haven't seen his own questions.
It's a funny old world though Jeez! I was reading about Scientology last night and oh my GOD, they make our friend here seem almost normal in comparison! Scary stuff indeed!!!! x x x
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reader, TELLULAH +, writes (19 April 2008):
TELLULAH is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all,
Thanks for your reply's it was very interesting reading them all. Of course he should be able (as everyone should) have free speech. And it might surprise everyone that I have read the bible a few times myself. I just think that in this day and age it would be almost impossible to live up to this mans ideal. Anyone that saves themself for the right person and actually gets them, should think themself very lucky indeed. But I dont think they should be condemed to hell if they dont.
Clearly in an ideal world, we would all meet one partner live happy ever after, and die along with the same person. But as a lot of us know, this rarely happens, unfortunatly.
But should we ladies be classed as whores because our mariages didnt work out. Also should we be classed as lower than a girl who saved herself. I dont think so!!
Personally I dont think that free speech is a good thing for someone with such extreme views. But like you said we all have that right.
Thanks again all of you, for taking the time to give your views.
And I'm fine Duskyrowe, hope your OK too. XXXX
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reader, brooke5426 +, writes (19 April 2008):
 maybe he's high?
nah just kidding. i did read that thread and its definitely....passionate! I think his views are pretty strong and he's definitely not open to other peoples opinions or beliefs in any way shape or form. He thinks he's right about something which is belief and nothing more, and thats the end of it as far as hes concerned.
Honestly I sincerely hope he stays single until he sorts himself out. Cos i'm worried for whichever girl marries him then if it goes wrong (which, lets be honest it probably will) she hasnt got a hope in hell of a divorce and I get nervous thinking about what he'd be like if she ever tried to leave him. yikes.
but as far as dearcupid is concerned i think religion is a bit personal for these pages and shouldnt really be brought up? you cant really ask someone else for advice on YOUR own religious beliefs can you?
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reader, Susan Strict +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Sure he should give his opinion and tell everyone that he believes what he is saying is right. That's what religion is all about - spreading what you believe is the truth.
The problem is, of course, that he might be wrong. He might have misinterpreted the divine masterplan (?). And the problem is, as with so many of those whose religious beliefs take over their lives totally, he may find it very difficult to even consider the possibility that he might have got it wrong.
As for staying a virgin until you marry - well that's great, and I do mean that. If you can wait until you meet that special person then that is truly a wonderful thing.... only..... for goodness sake hurry up and find that person! Sex is far too wonderful to be waiting half your life before you experience it!!!
Oh - and one other thing - don't knock reading the Bible. There is some most wonderful writing in it - and there aren't too many other books where you will read ANYTHING as erotically powerful as the Song of Solomon. It just a pity that the English version has been toned down from the original.
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reader, love girl  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 its a great thing he's doing , in my opinion , a person's first time should be spacial , it should be with the person he loves and feels good with
and its even greater because he's folowing the bible , he's doing what God told him to do , and God is not going to forget that he's acually going to let him marry a great person who thinks the same way too , and will make him very happy and will make his first time really special
i wish i waited but its too late now
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): My thoughts are these:
He has every right to say what he wants.
Everyone else has this same right.
His responses seem less than coherent.
Butt then idk som otters ppl kin b less then redabl.
He is doing harm to other Christians by raving about his twisted interpretation of the Bible.
Even so Christ loves him and is always willing to forgive.
With that said I would worry less about what he says in public posts and more about him harassing of women through private message.
Now on to your other questions:
Should he stay a virgin until he meets the woman of his dreams? Of course, no one should have to settle. Sex is a gift and shouldn't be given away to just anyone.
Is it likely to happen? I don't think so but I've learned never to bet against something even if it's impossible.
Will there be any virgins left by then? I'm not sure when you mean by "then" but probably. Maybe I'm projecting a bit since I'm waiting until marriage too but, there are women out there who are saving themselves.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): People will get under our skin from time to time, and what I've learned, is that we need to ask ourselves why does it affect us so. What we might find is an area we need to come to grips with, something we have put off for way to long and maybe now is the time to deal wih it. It doesn't mean we will find the answer, but being aware of it helps.
I had to look to see what country you ere in before I made the following comment.
In the USA, people can pretty much say anything except calling out fire when there isn't. In the U.K., you have to appease the Queen (sorry, had to say it :)
Maybe one day in this person's life, he will see how ridiculous he has been. I've noticed in myself that when I read certain books, like the bible, I need a cooling down period, and, I must always remember that it isn't necessarily saying what I think it is saying, but over time, I will have a better idea what it really meant.
I'm in the same shoes as you though, there are still many things that get my blood pumping, one is politics and the other is religious nuts (probably to name a few). I think we just need to find the humorous side: the truth, and laugh off what others say.
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (18 April 2008):
Tellulah, first I want to tell you this much: You won't burn in hell even if you fornicated. You're way smarter than the Devil. God Almighty will want you somewhere near him.
What you're doing here is giving this person a taste of his own medicine. I'm not sure if he wanted to find a person who had his same ideals about sex, but he did call everyone else bad names. Since he was telling us how we should live, well, it's only fine if now we tell them what he has to do. And he can't complain.
I have given you Five Golden Calfs on this (forget about stars).
However, I disagree with you on one point. Everyone has the right to speak his mind. We certainly disagree with what he says, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have the right to say it.
In times past, some fellows of my same faith thought that you couldn't disagree with them. They were members of a Jolly Club called the Inquisition. Once, I had the chance to be in an exposition of the tools of their trade. It gets you thinking, you know?
Free speech means that even the guys you don't like have a chance to speak their minds.
On the other hand, here's what I think about his marriage:
Oh yes, he should stay a virgin until he marries. I don't think he will have any problem with that, anyways. Just five minutes of his reciting the Bible will get any girl bored.
I have a little existential doubt. Maybe he doesn't masturbate, either?
There will surely be virgins in the world when he decides to marry. But they all will prefer to marry God, or at least to receive the Holy Ghost. Why settle for His envoy?
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reader, duskyrowe +, writes (18 April 2008):
Hi Tellulah, how are you hun?
I know who you mean, I wouldn't say he was exactly disturbed per se, but very passionate about what he believes.
Which is fine, but I do not want a 25 year old guy forcing down my throat about the rights and wrongs about fornication, adultery etc.
We all have our own lives and opinions and should not be told what to think or do with our own lives. People who live by any religious book is fine, but they should keep their opinions to themselves and not expect people to live like that LIFE IS FAR TOO SHORT.
In America there is a movement where teens abstain from sex until marriage, which I think is fine that is entirely up to them. If this guy wants to stay virgin until he marries, so what????? If he chooses to do that, that is entirely his business.
But what if he meets the girl of his dreams and finds out that she is not a virgin, is he going to sacrifice his feeling just because of his beliefs or will he finally accept that this is the REAL WORLD and people have pasts good or bad. I think he should think twice and put his brain into gear before he starts shooting his mouth off.
If he does find a woman who is still a virgin, then I hope he will be very happy and live a fulfilled life. Dusky xxxx.
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reader, salvation +, writes (18 April 2008):
well i always say only do something if your comfortable if he wants to stay a virgin then its his choice. As helpers our main concern should be for the people were helping so if his advice is negative thats not good if not there should be no problems.
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