A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So there's a guy that I CANNOT stop thinking about. I'm an attractive, popular girl, and I have no shortage of men willing to take me out. But the ONE guy that I really want won't give me the time of day, and it's driving me MAD!We've worked together for quite a while, and he never really made an impression on me at first. But one day we happened to go on break together, started talking, and hit it off pretty well. After that day we got more friendly at work... talked more often, and then started seeing eachother outside of work. I thought he was a cool guy, and I was attracted to him, but it was very casual. I know he was interested in me at frist, because of the fact he asked to see me outside or work and we'd talk on the phone pretty often. Then I don't know what happened, but at some point, I really started to have strong feeling for him(though I never told him, or made it apparent). But ironicly, this is around the time that his interest in me apparently declined. It's like we're walking in completely opposite directions, the more I started to like him, the less he started to like me!He slowly stopped asking me out to do things, stopped calling... and now he won't even answer the phone when I call him! At work he still acts like we're buddies, and I'm trying soooo hard to 'play it cool,' so I don't bring anything up. I know for a fact that he's not interested in me anymore, but I can't stop thinking about him! I want things to go back to the way they were a few months ago so badly...!Not only that, but it's making me feel so selfconscious now. Because I know he was interested at first, so I can't help but wonder what I did to put him off me...I know that everyone gets over unrequited 'love' with time, but if anyone can help me with the NOW, it'd be a great help!
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 April 2008):
 I very much agree with Lazy Guy. He was expecting a signal from you, never got it, and stopped trying. Why would he do otherwise?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Maybe the fact that you think you can't have him is why you want him so much. You might get "over him" very quickly once you actually achieved him.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (26 April 2008):
 Well he did give you the time of day, you said no, he got the message and that seems to be all that is going on.
How are you so sure he ain't intrested anymore? Because he is no longer trying, well contrary to popular opinion men are capable of learning and if he tried numerous times and was shot down sooner or later he will learn from this and stop trying.
You are playing it cool. Smart move, so basically what you are doing is sending the signal to a guy you shotdown that you are still not intrested. Right...
You may have to do the unthinkable and make the second move.
Because unless you done something besides not respond to his initial advances I don't think he lost intrest, he just doesn't keep hitting on a woman who showed she wasn't intrested, silly perhaps but some of us men think this is a good thing to do.
Don't call this unrequited love until you showed him your intrested and been shot down.
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