| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Why are guys so obsessed with breasts? It's unfair! I see so much naked boobs online, and the obsession with whose cleavage is hotter, this and that, and I feel inadequate! In a normal day I feel that my breasts look pretty, but then all this madness online and on TV appears and I just feel awful especially when I see guys WHO'RE NOT EVEN TEENAGERS, but adults drooling over breasts, without being able to say anything coherent! I hate the obsession with the body, I feel fine sometimes, but then I hate my body for being so "abnormal"... come on, you can't say that's what we're becoming! "Normal" is now that perfect body, regular folks are getting surgery now. Looking natural is becoming the exception, and it sickens me! And sure, it's the inside that counts... for SOME people. How many lovely girls have I seen cryiong over a prick who left them for a high manteinance hot girl.Plus, it bother me to no end that it's so socially accepted and even expected that guys can get as much boobies as they can... how all these "Girls gone wild" stuff got mainstream, and how women are expected to show more and more... and be okay with it! "Girls, don't be prudes, it's a guys thing!!!" ARRRRGH!At least guys can achieve the ideal by working out. They can gain some muscle. Maybe some are hard gainers, but they're thin. Plus, the male body isn't far as sexualized as women's so don't try to convince me with that argument. But guys can achieve the idel by working out. A girl can't grow boobs by working out, nor widen her hips, nor shrink her shoulders...Sadly, our society is so into consummerism and instant gratification that this is only getting worse... you want boobs: you buy, you consume, you dispose, you do it again, you get tired of it, you want something more titillating (no pun), so you go, get something raunchier, it becomes accepted, you buy, you consume, you dispose, etc...I just needed to vent, I feel so bad about my body! It's so unfair!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): I COMPLETELY agree with you! Guys just DO NOT get it do they?? and as much as even the best ones might understand, they really CANNOT UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY- unless they are female themselves and can feel what its like from a FEMALE PERSPECTIVE!A postive note: It's so crazy already it can't get much crazier can it? :) Soon the media and society are gonna run out of features to add to the 'perfect female body' and then what are they gonna do? Start moving onto the males and lookin around you can actually see theyve started doing that already i.e. more perfect abs, pecs, buns on screen and in posters etc. (at least where I live) Then it'll be those males suffering and I can say I certainly won't be feeling sorry for them! (except maybe my bf but he is perfect anyway :D )We females have taken so much of this crazy messed up shit already.Yet a few of us still managed to stay sane and ourselves (well I am and I'm hoping you are as well)What don't kill us makes us stronger! ;)Also... I personally feel strongly about this topic and I'd decided to live against the obsession. I have a slim figure and small size A cup boobs. Do I wear extreme pushups? Extra padding? Gel inserts? Cleavage makeup? NO. Why? Because why the hell should I? I'm beautiful and sexy just the way I am and I don't need to use any shit to try and 'compensate for anything' or 'look sexier. Makeup and pretty clothes I love. The whole boob obsession? I hate. I'm gonna love my boobs whether or not shit tells me otherwise. And so does my amazing bf- and that's what matters to me. :)Hope that helped!Have a nice day now :D
A
male
reader, wildman  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Babe, I like small boobs more natural myself. I think small is better especially with great nipples. Less back problems too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): It's a genetic thing. Use it to your advantage.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 April 2008):
 I would like to add a little comment. Contrary to what you might believe, being the "ideal" woman in terms of physique can actually be bad for you.
Once, I met a gorgeous blonde, with NATURAL big boobs, tall, contoured legs, et cetera. She was also damaged, but that's another matter. She was a very smart girl, but no one believed that. No one wanted to go beyond her looks. She was "that hot blonde", that's it. So, maybe not having those "ideal" looks helps you. People are more willing to look at who the person is.
Tigerlily made a very good remark. "I guarantee guys appreciate your assets more than you think. Just look around you at couples in the supermarket - there will be men on the arms of women of all different shapes and sizes."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): Hi - good points made. Would add that I worked in a lingerie department and have witnessed the distress felt by women who have lost breasts to cancer and come in to be fitted with a special bra. Nothing has made me appreciate my own breasts for what they are more than this. We have to overcome the hideous commercialism that surrounds mens fascination with breasts. It is lovely that they appreciate them so much and we love to hear how wonderful our own are .... but the media makes them, and women, appear cheap, easy and undermines everything that is attached.i.e. the whole woman. the media are hypocrites one minute wondering at why women are so mixed up and low about their appearance and the next making quite sure we are.
What concerns me the most (speaking based in the UK on this point) is that breasts are displayed quite overtly on the front of newspapers (no longer confined to page 3) and presented at childrens eye level on newspaper stands on garage forecourts and the like. Its not just breasts either - plenty of other attributes in highly sexual poses are presented in the same way in the same places. We wonder why our children are getting younger and younger in their sexual experiences.
I digress.... but the point is you are right it is everywhere but I can tell you now it is a hollow game.
There is nothing more sexy than a confident woman so please we need to rise above this rubbish that goes on all around us and show it, and the idiots that make money from it, that real people are so much better than that.
Intimacy, love, respect, real are all what we want in life. Let those that like cheap, fake, temporary and soul-less get on with it.
When you concentrate on what is great in your life and what YOU want to achieve you have less and less time for spending energy on stuff like this that bothers you.
It will become less and less important.
I do totally agree with your comments though. Are there any boundaries left? Anything that is still sacred? :-)
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (20 April 2008):
You have to accept the male obsession with breasts. It's been that way since the beginning of time. What you need to do is stop comparing yourself to fake airbrushed plastic you see online and letting that make you feel inferior.
I TOTALLY agree with you that our society / the media mainly, has gone totally crazy. But the good news is that in my experience, I think you will find that a real guy who likes you will also be a lot less critical of the body you have than you are. I mean think of yourself - you might appreciate a great body on a Hollywood movie star guy - but that doesn't mean you need that in your guy, right?
Sometimes men can be so infuriating... but I've also learned that where I can be critical, they think my assets are just dandy. I'm always really grateful when I get that reminder. I guarantee guys appreciate your assets more than you think. Just look around you at couples in the supermarket - there will be men on the arms of women of all different shapes and sizes.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (20 April 2008):
 Oh no, do not feel bad about your body. Listen to what you are saying, girls gone wild (no self respect, it makes me sick) and people who get surgery to look better, these are not real people. They care only about their looks and it is very sad. What happens when you no longer have your looks? Because everyone does get older someday. It is so much better to have intelligence and a personality, like you have. God and besides you can be absolutely beautiful without huge fake breasts. Many many women are gorgeous without big old fake plastic boobs. Most guys I know would much rather have the real thing and a girl who is comfortable with herself than a fake body image. Sure they are on tv, but so are the ditsy blondes and girls with nice asses... Not every guy is this shallow trust me. There are some out there who would take a girl with beauty, personality and intelligence over a stupid huge-breasted blonde anyday. They exist. I know what you mean though because it is everywhere. Sometimes people like what they see but are just as happy with what they have. Like if you see a guy in porn with a 10in penis. Most likely you don't have that on your guy but you are quite happy with him because you love him and some things are just more important. There are guys out there who are just like that. Good luck and love your body! Anyone can have fake boobs, anyone. You are yourself and it makes you different.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 April 2008):
 Count your blessings that you still have a whole and complete body.
There are people who have no hands or legs or just the upper torso alone.
Treasure and appreciate what you have.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): Big boobs are easy to see in a photo or a TV screen. The more normal and subtle things about a beautiful female body tend to be less attention-getting. The entertainment industry doesn't work in subtle stuff, it's a blunt instrument.
I'm not saying this situation is all the same or anything, but think about guys having huge muscles.
A lot of women are attracted to it. They might ogle it or giggle to their friends when a nice piece of male meat walks by sometimes. And in the entertainment industry, it seems like it is getting to be almost EVERYWHERE on EVERY attractive male. The ones without it have definitely felt the pressure to bulk up in the last 15 years.
But it's not all there is to being an attractive male. Some men are not even very well suited to being big muscled, and yet tons of women can still be totally attracted to them for other reasons (and other male body shapes that women might like just as much on certain kinds of men).
Boobs are kind of like this too.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 April 2008):
I need to clarify one point: I'm omnivorous.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 April 2008):
I don't think any man can answer for all men, but I will answer as if it were possible.
We are obsessed with breasts because they are just, just, just, just, just great!!!! I don't think any man can say otherwise!!!
That said, I agree with you. A natural body is better. And there should be no pressure for everyone to be just look like "the ideal". Whose ideal?
I fully agree with you in this particular: "Sadly, our society is so into consummerism and instant gratification that this is only getting worse... you want boobs: you buy, you consume, you dispose, you do it again, you get tired of it, you want something more titillating (no pun), so you go, get something raunchier, it becomes accepted, you buy, you consume, you dispose..."
It's worse for women because, yes, the first reason why you would be picked is how you look. Over time, however, we wisen up and go for one girl or the other for something more than looks. I always remember a piece of advertising for a toothpaste. The woman, who, by the way, was in her forties and was lava hot, said that she took good care of her mouth. "Because what comes out of here" - she said, pointing to her mouth - "no one can take away from me". Meaning her intelligence and her way of being. Beauty has to go away, sometime.
You can't change the way we were wired. We were wired to like breasts, bottoms, vaginas, legs... You can change the opinion we have about you. If we see you're quite a catch, we'll catch you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): Oh, one last thing! (I'm the OP)
Don't even mention the penis, because I don't buy that argument either. The penis isn't on display as breasts are. You don't seem almost bare penises in the billboards. Late night TV doesn't show penises. Only the people who watch porn see giant penises in action. Plus, before you see the penis, you have to at least know the guys name... guys aren't based or rejected because of their penises before even meeting them.
Plus I've heard that for girls with big breasts, the unwanted attention, and everything that comes with it is more painful than the back aches they get...
So what is it about breasts????
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