A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been together for three years, we are just finishing university now and shes said to me she wants a break. We got together at 18 and are both 21 now, furthermore we were best friends for a year before that.She says to me that she wants to feel independent and possibly experience another man physically (just to satisfy a curiousity). We have only been with each other and the thought of another man in bed with her makes me want to [edited by moderator].What should i do? I know shes the one, but i also kno shes very indecisive. She doesnt really get on with her father, and with him being divorced, she doesnt want 2 have that in common with him. Im hoping the stress of the upcoming exams and stuff is the reason and she just wants space and i have a deep fear that its something more. Please help.
View related questions:
a break, best friend, divorce, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (2 May 2008):
Lust tends to last maybe 1-3 years, and love begins to grow over time. One idea of marriage was to bridge the gap between the fading of lust and the growth of "true love", though women tend to be more emotionally tuned in feeling creatures than us guys, and she no doubt feels the loss of the "lust" feeling. It's chemical - mediated by ethylamine in the brain, just like chocolate. At her age, she has probably lusted after other guys and wants that "swept off her feet" feeling again. It's tough, since there is little you can do about it except keep yourself occupied with someone else. Women are weird in a way, in that they attribute higher value to a guy that is being chased by other women, whereas we look at a woman in isolation - and really don't care about other guy's wanting her, as long as she is just there for us. There's a whole game here - something I really don't like, but some guys do, and the girls just do it naturally. Find other choices if you can, and see how she reacts. Remember, she probably already has someone in mind, if not in bed.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 The sad truth is that a relationship can't go in any direction if the two people involved don't want that.
It's very clear that you love her, but I'm afraid that she doesn't feel what you feel anymore. I don't think a girl in love would ask for a break. I'm sure that a girl in love would never tell her boyfriend that the reason for the break is that she wants to sleep with other men.
I think you should give her her break, but forever. Let her go away. She is treating you in a very mean way, you know? I would expect her to know the effect that telling you she wants to sleep with someone else has on you. I'm sure that it has made you miserable. It happens to all of us the first time that we think the girl we love can set her eyes and actually enjoy with another man. It's as if a lightning hit you, right? I think her telling you that shows to what extent she doesn't care about you. Why would you waste your time with her?
Let her be and rebuild your life. Someone else will come and the sun will shine high up in the sky again. The sooner you get over this girl, the better.
...............................
|
