A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have been seeing a man for two years, i suppose u can call it friends with benefits, i have always felt he only wants to see me for a quicki. but we have built a good friendship up, i have had a 6 month relationship during this friendship, with another man, and me and this benefit friend were just FRIENDS during my relationship.last year i fell pregnant by the benefit friend, and i had a termination, he stuck by me, and we managed to get our friendship back to normal.two weeks ago i told him i wanted more content in my life and to be taken out, which he has never done, so told him we should knock our friendship on the head, so to speck. he replied he was sorry but he has been messing me about due to his insecurities, and would i like to go for dinner and movies next week. obviously i like this man and agreed.a week later i have discovered again im pregnant, this time i had a coil fitted months before. i had an ectopic and had to have surgery, i had to spend time in hospital, and told my friend, again he was ok and was glad i was safe.then i never heard from him for 3 days after my op. we finally met for half hour and i was a bit emotional after the trauma of everything, but i was calm. this man has never ever showed me emotions and feelings towards me. i wanted a cuddle i think and an arm around me, but nothing from him.i came home and texted him, and told him i cant do this anymore, i feel he just wants me when he is horny and im getting hurt, i know he has been hurt in the past and has learned to shut off his emotions. he knows i want more content in our friendship and i think he is scared. he is a hardworking single guy. anyway i have had no reply to this text, i wrote 2 pages, not really emotional but just how i felt about getting nowhere with him and him only wanting to see me when horny etc. now im upset i have lost a friend. why has he not replyed or tried to talk to me about our friendship ?
View related questions:
friend with benefits, horny, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 October 2009):
 I really don't think he's interested in taking your relationship any further than FWB. Whatever his reasons are, he just doesn't want to commit. He most likely doesn't want to hurt your feelings so he just hasn't responded, either that or you scared him off. I would not try to contact him. I think this relationship is pretty much over I'm afraid.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 October 2009):
 I am sorry for your troubles and that you have gotten used by this man. I have to say that you knew it was only ever a FWB situation from the start and could never be anything more. You have had two pregnancies as a result of this liason and even though he was around to 'clean up the mess' He has never been there for you and can most likely never give you the love and support you crave.
If women truly knew what men thought of women who willingly hop in and out of the sack, then I think the whole FWB 'phenomenon' would cease immediately.
Sure he offered to take you out for dinner but if I didn't know better I would say it was because firstly...you asked him to and secondly because he wanted to keep you in the net.
To a man, the FWB is purely something to hump and dump, maybe spend a little down time with but ultimately to be able to walk away without another thought. You placed yourself in this situation and have suffered both physically and emotionally because of it. Do not be a fool to yourself. Cut this man out of your life because no good can ever come of it!!
Sorry for the tough talk and hugs to you xxx
Aunty Em x
...............................
A
female
reader, shania +, writes (15 October 2009):
 I shall tell you why he hasn't responded to you...the man doesn't give a damn about you,im sorry to be blunt but he see's you as just a leg over...you have been pregnant twice by him and all he does is sends his regards....who in the hell needs friends like that! Another thing i dont buy is the fact he's been emotionally hurt, that he's shut down his feelings...thats the crap he's telling you so that you can understand and that way he can get to have sex with you without the commitment....Good game plan this guy had with you.
Now, you have text him, written to him and he hasn't responded...i reakon when he wants a meaningless sex session with you...he will be in touch.I suggest you pick yourself up...and move on..he was never your boyfriend, he never took you out and he treated you like you were nothing...Your better then that!
If i was you i would ignore all contact with him, and get out and meet new friends, keep yourself busy...take up a new interest, and one day, you will meet a man who will want a relationship with you and treat you with the respect you deserve.
...............................
|
