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female
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anonymous
writes: my ex and i have been recently talking----i reached out a year later (he ended it but our problems didn't consist of anything that couldnt be changed)b/c i still had feelings and took a chance..well basically he said he can't just jump back to this which i agreed with and he said we will exchange calls and meet. We have been talking for over a month..it will be pretty much 2 months in november and i think its only been a couple of weeks or so that we sound more comfortable with each other and nicer on the phone...for the most part we have been taking turns calling and we will speak for hour, 45 minutes, some calls were even 2 hours so it seems like this is positive and he is interested it seems...An important thing is the fact he knows i am not going to just be friends with him and i proved that by not trying to be at all this year..so in a sense it doesnt make sense he is even talking to me if thats what this is; and he also said its like starting over--so i am assuming we are headed in a good direction but that was said over a month agothere is still no mention of us meeting and i am getting anxious thinking maybe i should bring it up and just ask do you think it would be a good idea to meet within the next month or so (so there is no pressure with me setting a date for next week or something) or just wait another 2 weeks when it will be 2 months of us talking and then possibly ask...i don't want to put pressure since it seems we are at an ok place and maybe by me not waiting another 2 weeks or not being patient might push him away .. but its also a little confusing and nervewracking b/c i want to see him already and also don't want him to suddenly meet someone else and then i lost my chance...I am so glad we are talking again and don't want to ruin things or screw it up..should i just be patient and continue talking while giving him more time? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 Aww you sound an absolute sweetie!! and you sound like you really care for this guy. I know your confused about what you should do, but it's probably best to give him a little more time. You can't be absolutely sure at this time that he still wants to get back with you...and believe me men hate to be rushed or pushed into anything. I would just remain friendly when he calls you, be upbeat and try not to corner him verbally about starting anything or meeting up.
If he is truly getting interested again, he will pursue you and call you so don't be tempted to do all the contacting. Again I know how difficult this is but while things are so uncertain, it's best to hold back and let him come to you. If after a while he still hasn't asked to meet up, then I would assume he is no longer interested and you need to get out there and move on with your life.
Being friends at the moment ensures you maintain contact...and maybe he will suddenly ask you out again.
Best of luck xxx
Aunty Em xxx
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