A
female
age
41-50,
*tripped_chris
writes:I know I love my husband so much, but something's not right, I never felt secured and never felt loved, whenever we have an argument we always end up to stay low, and never had the chance to give a stretch in to my point, His mom and I doesnt agreee with each other and that makes everything worst , i love my husband but i sometimes felt if I continue i will just be living in a life of hell, I am sometimes scared too coz he can be violent when I tried to justify that He really is in the wrong, coz no matter how I tried not to argue in front of my 3 year old daughter, she will know because my husband can't control it, now, with this kind of situation, I always find my self being easily attracted with the other guy, I sometimes envy others, and always asks why my husband can't be as sweet as the other to their wives, and I don't know but it seems that some other men perceived there is something missing , some guys, speciall married ones, that seems to be the ones I noticed too seems to give me a hint that they think i am special to them, I don't think I am giving them any signals, because I actually starts to notice them as soon as they give me signals that they are attracted to me, not directly ofcourse because they know I am married and at the same time they are married too... but they honestly do give signals, Can they feel I am longing for a husband who could treat me fairly as I treated him, I am quiet sad about this because I have to join this group because of my confussion, where in I shouldn't have noticed it in the first place if my husband loves me the same way I have loved and respected him... please clear my minds...
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (21 October 2009):
 There are a lot of people in unhappy marriages or relationships. Some are very good at putting up a false front to cover the pain that lies underneath. They will stay within an unhappy marriage simply because they don't know how to live alone or they don't have the means to escape the unhappiness. Other stay and do nothing because they don't know where to go for help or have a partner who is unwilling to seek help with them.
It is really hard to tell which relationships are happy and which are not. People only let you see what they want you to see.
You are unhappy with your marriage but are also looking at others with 'rose tinted spectacles' That is you are only seeing the good. I am a little confused as to why you need attention and confirmation from other married men that your a good wife or a good person. Perhaps you just need the attention because you are not getting it from your husband.
There are organisations you can go to for help such as marriage guidance counselling. You can go alone but it's better if your husband goes with you. I think he needs to admit that there is a problem first before he chooses to face it with you. You could try talking to him and try, calmly to let him know how worried you are about the way things are. If he is used to getting things his own way and is happy with how things are, then you have to let him know that things have to change...it seems he has no plans to change but he needs to know that his violent behaviour isn't acceptable.
I would get your mind completely off other men and their oppinions, that could seriously cause problems if your husband found out. You also have a baby daughter to consider. Talk to your husband and get some professional help. If things don't work out and you split up, at least you can say you tried!!
Good Luck
Aunty Em xx
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