A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyoneI'm in a relationship with a lovely guy. We are both in our late forties and have been dating for 8 months.When we are together, it is perfect. We laugh all the time, hug, kiss,share the same interests and have great sex. He is very affectionate and says he is really happy with me and has always hoped to meet a woman like me. He can see us together in 20 years time!!!This is the part I don't understand - he rarely calls me and only texts me now and then. It's me doing the calling and arranging of things to do. I do trust this man 100% as trust is very important to both of us.Why doesn't he bother with much contact? We see each other 2/3 times a week.I'm really confused although I shouldn't be at my age!!Thank you.Claire.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 July 2013):
 If your bf is in your age range or older, I'd say it's pretty normal and you've got nothing to worry.
Apparently you've got a " younger " mindset and attitude, which is great- except for this anxious attachment mode of younger pople that feels deprived if they are not " connected " and trackable 24/7. But normally a person in his late 40's or so won't even consider texting as a viable way to conduct a conversation or least of all a romance, and spending time together in person 2 or 3 times a week will satisfy their needs for closeness and communication. Many would throw in a few PHONE calls too between dates, true , - but maybe he is just not that much of a phone person , or he's a busy person. Plus, phone is expensive too.
In other words, if your relationship is good, warm and affectionate, there's mutual trust, and you spend a reasonable amount of time together , ( you do ) don't go looking for flaws and mysteries where there aren't any. Chill, anjoy what you have - and try to become a little less dependent from constant communication than if you were a teenager.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (24 July 2013):
 Seeing each other 2-3 times a week? That's good!
As for calling and texting, you may be more comfortable with the regular use in texting technology than he is. And, many people hate using the phone, especially if they use it for business.
If he treats you well and sees you 2-3 times per week, I'd give him a pass, because his preferred way of staying in contact with you may be the time-honored method of actually being physically together.
As for calling and arranging, many guys aren't half as good at that as their lady counterparts. Next time you're with him, ask him to arrange the next date!
...............................
|
