A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with him about 5 weeks ago. After about 2 weeks of no contact he started talking to me last week. It was so nice, like when we first met. We spoke twice and sent a few txts. A few times he suggested we should catch up and asked when I'd be in the city next. Last we spoke, he said we'd talk soon. He knew when I was coming back, that was three days ago. He hasn't called since and I'm leaving again in the next day or so.Is he wanting me to call him to organise? He's initiated contact 4/5 times...but if I contact him, I feel like I'm letting myself down. I want an apology! On the other hand, he's stubborn...what if he's wanting me to reach out. He could never plan anything, even when we where first getting together,he would suggest then I would organise. As good as his intentions where and as much as he wanted to do things he's not a planner.What do I do! (And yes, if he could apologize for his temper towards me, I would love to take him back. I want to give him the chance to talk face to face cause I feel that may be what he's wanting to do)
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (1 August 2013):
 He could apologise but I wouldn't mean he'd be a changed man. People don't change their personalities in a matter of weeks or months. Unless he's been on an anger management course, and apologised, I'd stop flogging this dead horse. I think you deserve better!
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 August 2013):
 What is it exactly that you want? If you've decided to start talking to him, then you've gone beyond the apology stage. The "apology" should have been expected before contact was re-established, because by warming up to him now means you've already forgiven his past behavior.
Truly, he's an ex for a reason, and you're letting nostalgia and comfort override your thinking. If you still have an issue with his temper in the past, then STAY EX's. You broke up with him once before...an apology isn't going to fix the temper that got him out of your life in the first place.
As eyes pointed out, if this temper involved verbal abuse (calling you names and putting you down) or physical abuse, you need to get away from him for good.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (1 August 2013):
 let me ask what will it hurt to swallow your pride and give a call. if you don't you may always wonder "what if"? you will never know unless you contact him. in a phone call you could bring up the temper is what is keeping us apart, just touch on it and let him take over from there. he has a temper that needs controlled. he may not be a planner, but you two need to plan, work, enjoy, do everything together. "he is stubborn ... what if he is wanting me to reach out." he maybe stubborn, or he maybe he is just hoping to see if you will contact back. if he is the type that want take the lead in planning, he more than likely is a procrastinator. what will it hurt to make a call to him? you will have to decide is he worth it or not? if you don't call you may always wonder what if? don't let a stubborn spirit,or pride to keep you from making a call that will effect the future between you two.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (1 August 2013):
 Does he know this is why you broke up?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, he was never physically abusive. He did say some nasty stuff, but I don't know if I'd go so far to say it was emotionally abusive. He just has a temper that flares without notice and he will yell and rant on for a period of time so much that you don't even know what his point is anymore. He got cranky about the most ridiculous stuff. To go back, I would have to see an apology from him and some promise of change (I know. Probably beyond realistic.) At the same time, he had been trying to control his temper since I first bought it up. Perhaps leaving really pulled him around...
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 August 2013):
 This temper of his, did it ever involve abuse of any kind?
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