A
male
age
30-35,
*epers1995
writes:hey guys just a quick question does geting oral qualify as being a virgin some people say yes others no if you can help please do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2013): If you're a gay guy who only has sex with other men, would you therefore forever be a virgin since no vaginas are involved?Clearly that's silly. Being a virgin means being you've never done any sexual acts with another person. Doesn't mean you haven't done just one specific type of sexual act. But there are people who will take it to mean just that but usually it is because they have a certain agenda to prove if they or someone is or isn't a virgin. For any sane person who has no emotional investment in whether someone is or isn't a virgin, they would define it as you're not a virgin if you have done any sexual act with another person.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 July 2013):
 You're trying to catch flies?
;)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 July 2013):
 Why am I yawning .....
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 July 2013):
 It depends on what your definition of the word 'virgin' is. In some cultures, all that is needed is an intact hymen, and that qualifies the female (who is the one with the hymen, after all) to be classified as a 'virgin.' In this case, lesbians who do not erode that membrane through sexual contact would still be virgins, as would a man who has had penis-in-vagina intercourse, as he does not possess a hymen, he is outside the 'need' to classify a female as hymen-intact or not.
Of course, that sounds silly, a man having intercourse would no longer be a virgin, would he?
In this case, a female whose hymen is no longer intact, due to horseback riding, or gymnastics or whatever may erode that thin membrane, would not be classified as a virgin. This is of course an extreme view, but just think of the centuries of girls undergoing examinations to determine if their hymens were intact or not. If the hymen was gone, whether or not she was ever near a man, she'd no longer be considered a virgin.
It's really rather ridiculous, don't you think?
I think the accepted view is whether or not penis-in-vagina intercourse has occurred or not. But them someone who has had oral, manual and anal sex many times would still be considered a virgin, even though they had done everything else possible. Now, that person would have a very thorough experience of various forms of sex, and so it sounds rather silly to call that person a virgin, doesn't it?
In another definition of the term, a 'virgin' is someone who has had no sexual contact whatsoever, and this includes oral and anal and manual and vaginal intercourse. Someone 'untouched' in the sexual sense.
So, my view is that if someone is sexually active, involving genital contact, they really can't consider themselves all to terribly 'virginal.'
Yes, I know, there are a great many people who believe that the act of putting penis in vagina is something else entirely. I can respect that view, as long as these same people aren't putting penis in anus or penis in mouth or vulva in mouth or finger in anus, etc. In that case, they are getting rather 'cute' in how they preserve their 'virginity' or their sexual 'purity.'
Someone who gives or receives oral sex is not sexually abstinent.
I hope I've muddied the waters enough to make people think about their assumptions and maybe move on to a new definition of sexual awareness and sexual experience.
:)
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (16 July 2013):
 Yes technically one is still a virgin. But Oral does count as sex and still spread diseases.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 July 2013):
I agree. Virginity is a lack of sexual intercourse.
However, there is a difference between virginity and innocence. Today's society more than ever facilitates a loss of innocence without losing virginity.
You are a virgin. You are not innocent, and are now susceptible to any number of STI's due to the exchange of bodily fluid. Receiving oral from someone with a simple cold sore can transmit herpes, and saliva alone can transmit a number of other STI's up to and including HIV.
There is a huge gambit of sexual activities not involving intercourse that produce the same orgasmic finish, like dry humping, mutual masturbation, oral, hand jobs, erotic massage, bed dances at a strip club, porn use, etc.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): I think sex is sex. Oral, anal or vaginal. No matter if you're giving or on receiving end.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 July 2013):
 I'm so on the fence with this. I know that technically, YOU are still a "virgin" but you are no longer the "innocent virgin" - you are now SEXUALLY active.
Same with people who think having anal is NOT having sex, it is it's called ANAL sex and ORAL sex for a reason.
BUT technically, YES still a virgin.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 July 2013):
 technically a virgin is someone who has not had penis to vagina penetration.
I am really starting to wonder if this idea of sexual virginity needs to be modified as we evolve in our understanding of sexuality.
was this oral given by a member of the opposite sex or the same sex?
you have had ORAL SEX but you have not had sexual intercourse.
you are in my books a technical virgin
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 July 2013):
You are a virgin until you have sexual intercourse.
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A
male
reader, happy140 +, writes (16 July 2013):
 Accoding to Bill Clinton-oral is NOT SEX ("I never had sex with that woman", so some say it isn't. To me the calluosness of thinking a blowjob is no more than giving a hug is wrong. Sex is sex and any wife will say if my husband gets a blowjob from someone else he cheated on me. You are a intercorse virgin but NOT a sexual one to me. Many woman have a different view on oral. Even girlfriends say its cheating when their man gets one but its NOT cheating if they give oone??? Try to figure that one out! So as far as I am concerned your NOT a virgin.
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