She says she will not sleep with anyone while we are "actively working on our relationship" How am I supposed to trust her ?
Q. A little background on my marriage, we've been together for 10 years and married for almost 5 and we have an almost 6 year old son. Before this we had only ever been intimate with each other. Back in December my wife and I seperated. I was...
A. 26 June 2015: I read your post a number of times, and I was going to respond one way, but it hit me like a ton of bricks that the real issue is the one BEHIND your marriage, and unless you pull it out from the background and onto the microscope, you'll struggle ... (read in full...)
Advice on getting my lover back?
Q. Hey everyone, this is my very first post and I would like advice and tips on how to get a long term ex girlfriend back. My best-friend of 4 years, girlfriend of just over 2 broke up with me over a month ago and I would like to get back with he...
A. 24 June 2015: You're right about friendship after breakup not working out, because you can't be "just friends". You did the right thing by going No Contact.
Make sure you don't leave a "back door". Block her, delete her from social media, and clear your hea... (read in full...)
Why would he discuss plans and say he loves me, yet soon after he blocked me?
Q. Why did he want something serious and then disappear and block me? I met this guy online. We hit it off and had an instant connection. After talking for a month, we met in person. He met my friends and hung out with us a few times. We connected an...
A. 24 June 2015: When I read your post, it reminded me of a car commercial that aired a couple of years ago where this little boy is learning how to pitch a baseball. His father goes outside, tells the boy "Here, son, this is how you throw it." and proceeds to ... (read in full...)
He claims to have picked me over all these gorgeous women but compares me to them anyway! Should I be flattered or hurt?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a few months and there is something that is starting to get me down. I'd like to know if I'm right to be a bit upset about it. We met each other on a dating site, we get on quite well and we are both very open p...
A. 24 June 2015: He is BLUFFING you. This is about his insecurity, rock-bottom self esteem, and his desperation to try to leverage the power in your relationship.
Guys who really CAN have any girl they want have no need to constantly over-talk that fact to the w... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who was missing one of their hands?
Q. My continued dating adventures have recently led me to confront this issue. Would you date someone who was missing one of their hands, and why or why not? I'm interested in all perspectives. ...
A. 24 June 2015: If I were single and interested in him, then absolutely I would. Tell me anyone in the world would turn down Jaime Lannister. heh.
Seriously though. It's not the hand that makes the person. It's the soul. If this person is kind, caring, ... (read in full...)
How to turn down dates?
Q. So I feel a little ridiculous posting this but I never thought I'd have this problem! I need to figure out how to quickly, unambiguously turn men down. I feel so uncomfortable doing it that sometimes when I am asked to get together, I just...
A. 24 June 2015: I understand how you feel. I think that you feel empathy for the guys you're turning down, and guilt for having been the cause. It's the same guilt that has someone telling their partner during a breakup "We can still be friends". It's the same ... (read in full...)
Our 12 year old son shows no interest in family life and ignores Father's day and Mother's day. How should I approach these issues with him?
Q. I have a 12 year old son. He dosn't show much interest in spending time with the family. His life revolves around computers, video games, and similar devices. We have tried installing firm and strict usage rules, and even downright a "ban" on compu...
A. 22 June 2015: You may not remember since it was so long ago, but you were a lot like him. I'm a mom to a boy too (he's 15 now), and all of the obligatory stuff doesn't come naturally to them.
I don't do the card stuff with my son, primarily because I don't ne... (read in full...)
My friend says it's emotional blackmail. My mother says breakup with him. He's my first ''proper'' relationship. What should I do?
Q. So I've been in a relationship for 2 years, I just turned 17 and I have known him for goodness knows how long, we went to primary together and I know people say going out with you best friend never work but I genuinely thought we did, until the last ...
A. 22 June 2015: You've gotten really good advice on here.
However, do you really have it in you to DO what needs to be done, or are you the type who will vent how you feel, ask for advice, and then spend the next 5 years yo-yo'ing back to him over and over aga... (read in full...)
Is it weird to track your BF/GF's whereabouts on Find My Friends App on iPhone?
Q. What does everybody think of tracking your boyfriend or girlfriend's whereabouts on the Find My Friends App on iPhone? Where you use GPS to know exactly where they are on a map (or where their phone is) at any given time throughout the day... unless ...
A. 16 June 2015: Seriously??! If you have to resort to internet stalking your significant other in this fashion, then you fail at everything that has to do with self-confidence.
Whomever you choose as a boyfriend, if he or she is a cheater, they will cheat wh... (read in full...)
I slapped him, he slapped me back, what should I do?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend *lets call him Tyler) for 3 years. He proposed to me last month but since then we just seem to argue. He purposefully does and says thing to get reactions and when i snap he goes in a really childish ...
A. 14 June 2015: I'm going to be straight with you.
If you describe your slapping him in response to an inappropriate joke as "instinctual", then you should be terrified that *that* is in you to do that to someone else.
I get extremely pissed at media, televi... (read in full...)
Why do people offer remarks like "men are visual" as excuses to dismiss the feelings of those who take issue with objectification of women in pornography?
Q. Why do men expect women to be ok with being categories into body part in porn. Like big breast , small breast , big ass, skinny , young , old , black , white , Latino etc. The list goes on . Yet besides a reasonable sized penis , are men ever cat...
A. 13 June 2015: The word of the day here is: Compatibility.
Women have dealt with sexism since the dawn of time. The degree of that sexism varies based on culture, race, country, economic class, and background.
The trick is to find someone with a similar c... (read in full...)
His daughter has moved in with her boyfriend and his parents and wants my boyfriend to pay her child support directly to her!
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a year his daughter is 17 now and my bf pays his ex wife child support for this girl but the mom doesn't spend it on their daughter so every month the daughter txt her dad for stuff that she "wants" I've have enough ...
A. 10 June 2015: I agree that this is between your boyfriend and his family. But if I were advising HIM (meaning between the lines that you should pass this advice along to him), I'd say not to deviate from the court order in ANY WAY, and that he should tell his ... (read in full...)
I'm dating two guys and don't know which one to stay with
Q. i am curently seeing two guys (x and y) by accident and i don't know which guy to stay with. They both know i am seeing another guy as well as them and for the past week they are both trying to convince me to stay with them. x is so kind and always ...
A. 9 June 2015: Y has no future and you know it.
You're in grave danger of losing X and you also know it.
Your only real decision is either X or neither of them.
If you delay, you will lose both of them. You're a teenager, and dating someone much olde... (read in full...)
I miss my best friend, but I'm afraid I'll never see her again
Q. I need help my best friend moved 4-5 years ago now and I missed her I have vague memoiirys of her, we meet when I was in first grade and we were best friends forever soon she left to live with her sick grandma and now I live in the same state as she ...
A. 9 June 2015: That's tough. I moved around when I was a kid, and I missed best friends I had to leave terribly. I moved out of state, and we didn't have cell phones or internet, and long distance calls cost an arm and a leg back then, so I could only write ... (read in full...)
She's asked me twice to take her to the hospital, but something doesn't seem right!
Q. So this girl I've know for a couple of months has asked me to take her to the hospital now twice in a span of about 4 to 6 weeks. She'll kik me out of the blue telling me to take her but then apparently she turns her phone off because my messages ...
A. 9 June 2015: Uhh, she sounds like bad news to me. You say you "know her"...are you in a relationship with her? If not, and even if you are, I'd suggest you back away. She sounds like she's either playing games, or there's a screw loose mentally, or she's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was unappreciative of the meal I cooked and he never wants to spend time with my family. I wanted our relationship to work but now I'm having second thoughts!
Q. My boyfriend can just irritate me so much sometimes. I brought over all the ingredients to his house to make BLT's. Instead of thanking me and being appreciative he complained I got wheat bread. Then he freaked out that I was cooking the bacon in ...
A. 9 June 2015: PS, wheat bread is healthier for the little prick. It's hysterical that he criticizes microwave bacon, yet whines about much healthier bread!
Okay, now I'm REALLY done.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was unappreciative of the meal I cooked and he never wants to spend time with my family. I wanted our relationship to work but now I'm having second thoughts!
Q. My boyfriend can just irritate me so much sometimes. I brought over all the ingredients to his house to make BLT's. Instead of thanking me and being appreciative he complained I got wheat bread. Then he freaked out that I was cooking the bacon in ...
A. 9 June 2015: I have two primary thoughts at this time:
1. How FAST can you break up with this no-good ungrateful emotionally abusive prick?? Seriously, you do something nice for him, pay for the ingredients, give him your time and effort, and he calls yo... (read in full...)
My friend says he's a controlling freak! He ended things cause I went dancing!
Q. My ex boyfriend (as of today) and I have dating for four months. But we argued over two things: my overzealous commitment to my family and my going out. I'm always working, always. I'm 23 and just two years ago, worked three jobs at once. Now I'm ...
A. 8 June 2015: Your friend is right. Stop begging the loser. If you got out of this relationship at 4 months, you should be on your knees THANKING God (or nature or whatever higher power you believe or don't believe in) that you dodged a really nasty bullet.
... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable that I feel hurt that he said he was disappointed - or was he just being honest ?
Q. Been seeing a guy for 3 weeks and all was going well. Last night we made out in his car and he asked me to be his gf, I said yes. After a little while he put his hand under my shirt which I wasn't ready for and I started to shake from nerves. H...
A. 8 June 2015: I reacted the way I did not because he said he was disappointed, but that his entire speech revolved around HIM and HIS celibacy and HIS wants (he wants to stay and "see how it'll go"). "It'll"???? Don't you mean the woman you're getting close ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable that I feel hurt that he said he was disappointed - or was he just being honest ?
Q. Been seeing a guy for 3 weeks and all was going well. Last night we made out in his car and he asked me to be his gf, I said yes. After a little while he put his hand under my shirt which I wasn't ready for and I started to shake from nerves. H...
A. 7 June 2015: I think the real proof is in the ENTIRE statement "he said he was a bit disappointed as it will halt physical intimacy". I would have my guard up as to why he wants a girlfriend because of that statement, as if his purpose of having a girlfriend is ... (read in full...)
I can't remember if I cheated on my fiance, or not, last year, as I was so drunk. Should I tell my fiance?
Q. My fiance are together seven years, and for two years we struggled with infertility, which had us fighting a lot and caused a lot of resentment, stress and guilt for me. I felt like I had failed him, I couldnt give him what he wanted most. Last y...
A. 6 June 2015: Leave it in the past. You didn't kiss the guy, but you were disloyal to your partner and confessed it. The disloyalty was in the flirting and dancing, which to be honest, if you had walked in on your guy dancing with another girl and flirting with ... (read in full...)
It's unsettling for me. Is it odd that he rarely makes eye contact when we're having sex?
Q. Is it odd for a man not to look at you while you're having sex? My boyfriend rarely makes eye contact while we're having sex. I've discussed this with him and also his preference for wanting to have sex in the dark. If the lights are on he...
A. 5 June 2015: During foreplay, eye contact is great. But in my opinion, when it's time for the "nitty-gritty", I'm more about feelings and sensations than making sure eyes are where they should be. I care more about if my guy is enjoying it as well as I am than ... (read in full...)
Am I too sensitive and am I overeacting to my Boyfriend's comments about other women?
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting... My boyfriend and I are in our 40's and have been dating for almost 2 years. He has a habit of putting women down. It could be a stranger that walks by in public "wow is she fat" or even a friend of ours such as ...
A. 4 June 2015: Then why are you still WITH him? If he's as horrible as you say, then why haven't you ALREADY left?! It's a lie that a woman over a certain age has to become desperate for any man's interest, so drop his ass to the curb and be done with it ... (read in full...)
Am I too sensitive and am I overeacting to my Boyfriend's comments about other women?
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting... My boyfriend and I are in our 40's and have been dating for almost 2 years. He has a habit of putting women down. It could be a stranger that walks by in public "wow is she fat" or even a friend of ours such as ...
A. 4 June 2015: I agree with Honeypie 100%, and to be honest, anyone who could talk that way about anyone else, whether it was my partner or a friend of mine, I'd want to get away from.
YES, he's a misogynist, but he's also manipulative and VERY negative... (read in full...)
Do women lose interest when he starts taking you for granted?
Q. Is it normal for a woman to lose interest in a man when she feels he no longer finds her special . I find that when im in a relationship with a man and he begins to start noticing other women more than me ir not making me the main focus of his ...
A. 4 June 2015: You missed the entire point, OP, and I made my response based on you exposing a PATTERN in guys you are with. When there is a pattern of behavior followed by a PATTERN in your response, it means that the issue lies with the common denominator. ... (read in full...)
Do women lose interest when he starts taking you for granted?
Q. Is it normal for a woman to lose interest in a man when she feels he no longer finds her special . I find that when im in a relationship with a man and he begins to start noticing other women more than me ir not making me the main focus of his ...
A. 3 June 2015: It's a two way street. The entire burden isn't on just HIM to keep the relationship special. It's on you too. Many women who find themselves in situations like you do before your partner started looking at dating sites start taking their ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or leave because of the behaviour of my fiancé?
Q. I've been with my fiancé for 4 years. He is hardworking, doesn't drink or smoke and has no interest in sports. He tells me he loves me every day. He is thoughtful in other ways too. What I can't get past is his staring at women every time we g...
A. 3 June 2015: This guy of yours is a creeper. Taking pictures of women?! That's disgusting.
You need to get yourself financially independent. Even if this fiance of yours WASN'T a creeper, you shouldn't give away your birthright. Go back to school online. ... (read in full...)
How to help my fiancée who feels betrayed
Q. Dear aunts, I have a beautiful, witty and smart fiancée who has been at my side for five years. Unfortunately, since age 15, I have had an addiction to porn, especially certain fetishes. It has stopped giving me any pleasure or satisfaction but...
A. 2 June 2015: You knew that escalating your porn use to include casual dating websites crossed lines that even the most tolerant of women don't put up with. Personally, if I were your girlfriend, I would be asking you what you would have done after looking at ... (read in full...)
His friends are so miserable I'm wondering if the relationship can work
Q. OK this is going to be a long rant it seems. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months, everything was OK until one night where his friends all turned on me. There was a beer festival in my local town to which him and his friends went...
A. 2 June 2015: I agree with Janniepeg on this one. It's actually rare that you are confronted with a relationship saboteur like you were, but the drinking exposed the truth about this person, who is wanting to split you and your boyfriend up because she wants ... (read in full...)
Why are women's emotional needs not considered as important as men's visual needs ?
Q. Why are women's emotional needs not considered as important as men's visual needs ? Men often say they need porn because they are visual and one woman can't meet their visual needs but women are emotional and men often don't meet our needs Is i...
A. 1 June 2015: I also have to point out that it's not a proper comparison of porn (in any form, internet or otherwise) is the same as online affairs. A better comparison would be this:
Viewing online porn for a guy is more like reading romance novels for a gi... (read in full...)
Is my sister's mental illness a reason for me to not have children?
Q. So, I'm at the age (early 30's) where my partner and I are thinking it's probably time we look at starting a family. But we're undecided as to what to do. I've always been a maternal person. I've always been excited about the idea of becoming a mu...
A. 1 June 2015: Speaking as someone who has chosen not to have more children because of genetics (I'll explain later), I'll tell you that much of what happened with your sister and parents is as much their choices as it is the mental illness itself.
I had a so... (read in full...)
Should I apologize to my married co-worker for the touchy feely session we had?
Q. Hi there. I'm a gay man and recently went on a work trip with a straight co-worker (who knows I am gay).We went out one night and got very drunk. We ended up back in my hotel room having a nightcap. We got to taking our shirts off to compare bodies, ...
A. 1 June 2015: Actually, I think you'd be apologizing to the wrong person.
Here are my thoughts:
1. When talking to your married co-worker, don't bring it up unless he does. You both had a few too many, nothing really awkward happened between you, and... (read in full...)
Why is boyfriend online on Whassap during the night? He does not check phone or get up when he stays with me. Is he out flirting or cheating?
Q. Hi all. I know this may come across as a bit of an immature question but my boyfreind got Whassap a couple of months ago and his last seen times are during the night. Sometimes like 4 or 5 AM. When I stay the night with him, he never gets up and ...
A. 1 June 2015: Whassap is a messaging service. Who says he can't check it when he's up? Maybe he isn't on it around you because he's enjoying his time with you instead of his head stuck in his smartphone.
How are you able to track his login time on that app... (read in full...)
Can you think of examples where a woman initiated a relationship? I need some examples to demolish my long held view that this never happens.
Q. Because it seems, to me, that all boyfriend and girlfriend relationships are still initiated by the guy, where the man approaches the woman first, talks to her first and asked her out first, initiated everything or almost everything in the ...
A. 31 May 2015: Nobody should ever WAIT for someone to come to them. In your case, OP, I'll be serious in saying that you can't expect for someone to come to you, smash your Fort Knox of excuses or defenses, make ALL the effort to chase you as you resist, and jump ... (read in full...)
He's a drama queen and blows everything out of proportion. But how can I give him support?
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my bf for almost 3 years. I have known him for almost 10. when we first got together, it was the beginning, that joy, we couldn't be stopped. Fast forward to now and I feel like I am going crazy. Needless t...
A. 31 May 2015: You can't help him. You're not his therapist, and to be honest, you're in no position to be ANYONE's therapist. If being in a relationship with him does you damage, and the bad days outweigh the good now, you need to pull out.
You need to look ... (read in full...)
Can you think of examples where a woman initiated a relationship? I need some examples to demolish my long held view that this never happens.
Q. Because it seems, to me, that all boyfriend and girlfriend relationships are still initiated by the guy, where the man approaches the woman first, talks to her first and asked her out first, initiated everything or almost everything in the ...
A. 31 May 2015: I initiated. He was outgoing, gregarious, and a fantastic public speaker, not to mention very good looking. But he was painfully shy, and tripped over his own words and feelings, so after 7 months of being friends, I just took matters into my own ... (read in full...)
Why are women turned off by inexperienced men?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off ? Why is it that if a guy never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or just been in a relationship before, and sadly ...
A. 30 May 2015: Sorry, but whoever made that quote you found is crazy!
I met and married my husband when he was a virgin, and I can tell you that I couldn't be happier!
It's not inexperience that turns a woman off, it's a refusal to learn, experiment, and ... (read in full...)
My ex said he made a mistake breaking up with me and now I can't stop thinking of him
Q. I was in relationship with a guy for a couple of years. I was so crazy on him like I loved him so madly and I trusted him to the core. But he broke up with me and went with other girl. First it was so hard for me even I tried committing suicide. But ...
A. 29 May 2015: DON'T DO IT! This guy is a lying, cheating, scumbag. He ditched you to be with this other girl (you didn't tell me if he was cheating on you, but it's likely), and now he's kissing you BEHIND HIS GIRLFRIEND'S BACK??? How can a guy apologize while ... (read in full...)
Big decisions. Do I stay in my comfort zone? Or should I take a chance with this job offer, despite my Bf's objections?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for seven years now (lived together for five years with his grandparents). I've been on a temporary contract with work for the past year, but I've just been offered a full time permanent position at a new company ...
A. 29 May 2015: You know, people may disagree with me on this, but this guy *had* his chance. You both are late 20's, well done with college and it's high time to be into a career journey as well as GETTING MARRIED.
You need to evolve and move forward in your ... (read in full...)
His new girlfriend posted pictures of our daughter on Facebook and didn't reply or remove them when I asked!
Q. I need to get peoples view on whether I'm over reacting or not. My little girls dad's girlfriend recently posted a load of photos of the three of them together on facebook and has even referred to my daughter on facebook as "Our little princess". I...
A. 27 May 2015: If you are the legal guardian of your daughter and she is under 13, you have recourse, and pretty swift recourse. Here's where you go:
https://www.facebook.com/help/428478523862899
Honeypie is half right in that this sounds more like your g... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love someone and NEVER be jealous?
Q. Is it possible to care deeply for or even love someone and NEVER be jealous? I have always thought that being jealous meant being afraid to lose someone. That is because you love or care for them so much. And it is a feeling which overcomes us, wh...
A. 22 May 2015: I think there is a difference between being jealous and being territorial. Not being jealous doesn't mean not caring if someone else hits on your partner.
I think it's healthy if, say, you're at a bar with your partner, you have to use the rest... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love someone and NEVER be jealous?
Q. Is it possible to care deeply for or even love someone and NEVER be jealous? I have always thought that being jealous meant being afraid to lose someone. That is because you love or care for them so much. And it is a feeling which overcomes us, wh...
A. 21 May 2015: Jealousy isn't ABOUT the other person. Jealousy is always about the person who is jealous. Some people who have issues with jealousy say that it's because they love the person so much that they get jealous. Jealousy can be obsessive, anxious, ... (read in full...)
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