A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend (as of today) and I have dating for four months. But we argued over two things: my overzealous commitment to my family and my going out. I'm always working, always. I'm 23 and just two years ago, worked three jobs at once. Now I'm stable and made a good friend. She's younger and like me, has had to work a lot so recently, we decided to enjoy ourselves and experience new things. My be was supportive at first but then, did a 180. He worked until 11pm last night. At about 5pm I called and told him I would be going out. He was upset cause he had missed my sister's graduation earlier that day but I assured him I understood (he had to take care of his mom and child). He asked me where, I said I wasn't sure yet that we had several ideas but maybe dancing. He got upset, said he had to go and would call me later. He never did. Then this morning I had a huge scare and asked to see him-begged him. He texted me back @so you couldn't see me yesterday but you want to today? Bs! We're done!!" I never even replied. My friend says he's a controlling freak. But aunts and uncles, was I wrong?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 June 2015):
 Your friend is right. Stop begging the loser. If you got out of this relationship at 4 months, you should be on your knees THANKING God (or nature or whatever higher power you believe or don't believe in) that you dodged a really nasty bullet.
This guy would have you hiding in your room in your spare time, choosing jobs he wants, following his dreams and abandoning your family (overzealous commitment? That is really an awful thing for a 4-monther to say).
He *IS* controlling. Classic, too. He was already trying to separate you from your family, pressure you from your friends, and manage your life. The fact that you were BEGGING to see him means his controlling has been working.
STAY broke up with him if you value your life. His breakup tactic IS another form of control. Make it permanent. I'm not kidding. Go back to him, and you can flush everything you are or will be down the toilet. He will hollow you out into a scared, depressed shell of the woman you are now. Sounds like if he has a child, he's already done it to another woman.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2015): All that drama over something so small and after just 4months!? Sounds like you had a lucky escape
...............................
A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (8 June 2015):
 Why are you begging to see him??Well, I do think that he was a bit over dramatic with the break up.Seems you both are in the early stages of your relationship and need some time to get to know each other and understand each other better. Do you know if he has ever been to Clubs or Bars? The reason I say this is because prior to dating my boyfriend, I don't frequent Clubs or Bars or any kind of party where there's dancing and drinking. My impression of those places were of what I'd see from TV - Bad and full of sin! lol Well, my boyfriend loves going to Clubs, Bars, and House Parties. I was uncomfortable with it at first, because I thought people just drink and have sex there. I seriously thought about breaking up with my boyfriend because I didn't think we were compatible in this area. Then he brought me along with him, and I learned it's really not like what I see on TV and it's not a bad place. Maybe your boyfriend is also like me.I'd say find a time to sit down with him and talk about these issues like adults. Ask him to tell you exactly why and what he doesn't like and you figure out how to make this relationship work. If in the end he still wants to break up, then just move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 June 2015):
 You should be able to go out and go dancing with friends. You should NOT have to give him a complete itinerary of where you might be going. YOU were going out with friends, not meeting up with him.
Let him go.
You were not wrong, though I don't get the whole "begging" to see him.. what was so urgent?
...............................
|
