Would it be cruel to leave him. Or could it do him some good? I'm terrified of what'll happen if he continues like this.
Q. I'm between a rock and a hard place and I really need some advice. My boyfriend has always smoked weed. At first it was just once or twice a month when he would hang out with a particular friend. I didn't like it but he never did it in front of m...
A. 1 May 2015: You don't leave someone to "do them some good". You leave them because you need to move on, and his heavy drug use has made him no longer good for you to be around him.
You're not his therapist, and if you stay with him, you sign off on his beha... (read in full...)
We had a casual thing between us about 4 years ago. Why would she ignore me now?
Q. Ok, so me and this girl used to have a casual thing going about 4 years ago. We were both single then. Since then i've married someone else. We've stayed in touch and met up a few times. On a couple of occasions we have slept together which s...
A. 1 May 2015: She isn't talking to you because of HER relationship, not yours. You may be a cheater, but she doesn't want to be. She isn't interested in casual sex outside of her relationship, because the guy she is with means so much more to her than your wife ... (read in full...)
What are your opinions and reasonings on when sex should occur?
Q. After a while of not having sex, I recently did, with a guy who I met a couple of hours earlier. It's not something I do often, it actually takes me a while to start liking a guy enough to want to hook up, but on my opinion if I find someone I like ...
A. 30 April 2015: I understand your line of thinking. But, I think in your analysis of the cultural reasons for holding out, you missed the biological and practical reasons for doing so.
First and foremost, SEX IS A RISK!
You hooked up with a one-night stand ... (read in full...)
If I really am the woman he is in love with and plans to be with for the rest of his life why has he made getting married so difficult?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years going on 3. We have two babies and are pretty serious about eachother. The only problem is that we seem to have completely different views about marriage. I want to get married desperately. Every inch of my ...
A. 30 April 2015: I read your post twice before it dawned on me what this is really about:
You DO realize that getting married won't change your life or lift the burden of pressure you're feeling, right?
Two years? You're 18-21? You have two children. The g... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong make up an alternative story for officials about how we met? She is my fiancée and we met via webcam. She was a webcam model.
Q. I met a woman. She was a webcam model. We fell in love, got engaged, and now are planning weddings. She is from Russia, me USA. We applied for fiancé visa and have the interview next week in Moscow. They will also ask us how we met, but we ar...
A. 26 April 2015: Stick to the truth, but don't offer a detailed description unless it's asked. Just say that you two met online, like millions of other people do.
If they go into detail, then tell the truth. Don't be embarrassed about it, because that's a big bu... (read in full...)
Eighteen months ago he loved the phone sex. Now he's too tired. Is the honeymoon phase over?
Q. Hi guys just wanted your help in a situation. My guy and I started dating one and a half years back n we are getting married in December. When we started dating, my guy and I used to have phone sex a lot and it was a thing he started. Later on...
A. 24 April 2015: He's got the real thing now. It's like a couple of kids dry humping clothes on, and now they're having actual sex, so they've "gone beyond" so to speak.
That's probably where he's at. Phone sex is an anticipatory thing, and now he's got it. A l... (read in full...)
My question is should I have unprotected sex with this guy?
Q. My boyfriend has restricted me on his facebook account so I can only see his public page he says he no longer is interested in facebook and does not use it very much -which is a lie because when I go onto facebook on my account I can click on his ...
A. 24 April 2015: Why would you want to have sex, unprotected or otherwise?? I didn't know that distrust was such an aphrodisiac.
And, why unprotected? I'm curious why you specified the protection nature of the sex you're anticipating.
Why the distrust, an... (read in full...)
Should I confront her to stop her over the top behaviour toward my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend for the last year has a female friend who has always made me feel uncomfortable when she is around him, he loves all the attention, he always has loved female attention and it's something I have got my head around but this particular ...
A. 22 April 2015: Why do you give your boyfriend a pass?? The "He's always been a fan of female attention" thing? Your issue is and always will be with him, not her. What are you going to do, confront ALL inappropriate women who come around him? He's sending out ... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating is addicted to porn but wants to stop?
Q. I recently started dating this guy who I really like. He is very honest, and after we had gotten to know each other quite well told me he has an addiction to porn which he is trying to quit. I dont have much experience with relationships, s...
A. 22 April 2015: It's very possible that he's telling the truth AND feeding you a line at the same time. With this guy, you neither have the experience nor the position to play therapist to him. He should be under a doctor's or sex therapist's care, and the fact ... (read in full...)
It turned me off that he accepted my offer to split the bill on our first date!
Q. I went on a first date with a guy I met, we connected and I really liked him, but then he was ok with me paying for my dinner. I offered to pay before he reached for the bill and he said "sure, if you want to." So he told the waiter to split it. He ...
A. 13 April 2015: I don't believe that it's because a woman is a victim of gender inequality that she should have a guy pay for dates.
Along that line of thinking, our foremothers would have cited a man's ability to vote, a woman's place in the home as chattel,... (read in full...)
It turned me off that he accepted my offer to split the bill on our first date!
Q. I went on a first date with a guy I met, we connected and I really liked him, but then he was ok with me paying for my dinner. I offered to pay before he reached for the bill and he said "sure, if you want to." So he told the waiter to split it. He ...
A. 12 April 2015: I'm with Honeypie 1000% on this one. Why the hell would you play games like this?? Not only did he accept YOUR offer, but you put him on the spot when you did it, because for him, it's a trap. How does he know you wouldn't have been turned off by ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with loneliness for companionship
Q. How do you deal with loneliness for companionship? I'm 22, never had a boyfriend nor a first kiss. The only attention I get from men are from the streets when I get occasional stares, and come-ons (like most females in big cities). I do vo...
A. 11 April 2015: I read your post twice through, and I know what I want to say to you because it's obvious to me, but to say it straight, I *must* disclaimer it, because the word I'm going to use has been used before as an insult, and I don't mean it *as* an insult ... (read in full...)
I"m on the pill but yet boyfriend is paranoid I'll get pregnant. How do I get him to relax?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and the first couple times we were intimate, I was not on birth control, and he refused to wear a condom. He told me to trust him, reassured me that I would not get pregnant, and promised ...
A. 11 April 2015: So he's paranoid, but he does nothing about it.
Listen, the kiss of death in a sex life should be "Trust me - I'll pull out", especially since on 4 different occasions, he obviously did not succeed in doing so.
There are other reasons to... (read in full...)
My ex cannot stand to see me after 9 years? Why is he like this?
Q. I have a question about my ex. I ended the relationship back in 2004 because of how he treated me, he was 20 at the time and I think a lot had to do with his lack of maturity. When we broke up, things were a bit convoluted. We agreed to be friends ...
A. 11 April 2015: He's got a girlfriend is why. Most guys with girlfriends tend to avoid exes. He's not having a relationship with you because that's a chapter in his life that stays in the past for him.
As for you, haven't you had boyfriends since him?? Haven't... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting to know if she enjoyed it and if he wore a condom?
Q. I have a 27 year old girlfriend of 3 years and we have recently been having some issues in regards to spending time together. She has been spending a lot of time with a co-worker (going out, going to his place but just as friends as she claims). ...
A. 11 April 2015: @anon - absolutely I'd give the same advice if the genders were reversed. It's NOT acceptable, biologically, socially, or otherwise if a guy cheats or a girl.
And another thing - this OP didn't do a damn thing to cause her to cheat. She cheated ... (read in full...)
Do men even care if porn use hurts their partner?
Q. My question comes as the result of my husband constantly using porn despite an agreement not too and two years of counselling. I have now organised alternative housing but am hurt and wondering what the world has come to Do men even care if porn use...
A. 10 April 2015: I agree with Llifton in that this is a case regarding YOUR husband and not men in general.
I don't care if my husband watches porn either. In fact, now that I think about it, when it comes to comparison between "porn" looks and actual ones, *h... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I will ever be good enough for my boyfriend
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating about 3 months. The first two months of our relationship AL he did was talk about his ex girlfriend ( she dumped him). She was a who're, so he says.. They dated for about ten months and she was his first real ...
A. 10 April 2015: He wasn't over her. He still isn't. I think you're a rebound he used as ego salve. Don't compete with her, because it's not about you being "good enough". It's more like a wrong place, wrong time. Him calling her a whore is just one more ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting to know if she enjoyed it and if he wore a condom?
Q. I have a 27 year old girlfriend of 3 years and we have recently been having some issues in regards to spending time together. She has been spending a lot of time with a co-worker (going out, going to his place but just as friends as she claims). ...
A. 10 April 2015: What the hell?!? She texted you like a coward to tell you that she CHEATED on you, and your response was that you're on the fence and wondering if she enjoyed it and if he wore a condom?!??!
If I were you, I'd drop her to the curb faster than you... (read in full...)
I feel if I don't give my boyfriend what he wants sexually he will leave me
Q. I'm 18 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over three months now. After a couple months of dating I had sex with him, it was my first time but not his. I'm still really uncomfortable around him and insecure when we do stuff. I hate ...
A. 10 April 2015: If you're uncomfortable around HIM or he's pressuring you, then that's a different matter and you should put the brakes on, because you should never feel like you owe him sex. If he makes you feel like he'll leave if you don't "put out", then leave ... (read in full...)
Can I ask my boyfriend not to attend events this past FWB of his goes to?
Q. So my boyfriend of 2 years is great! I love our relationship and im incredibly happy. Although there is this one girl who causes problems and im at a loss as to what to do about it. Long before i met him he lived with another girl for about 2 years, ...
A. 10 April 2015: In principle, I agree with the others in that if they run in the same circles, it's inevitable that they would cross paths, and that if he's got a record of ignoring her, then you could extend a bit of trust.
However, you know, I wouldn't have tou... (read in full...)
I found out he was married when his father in law died
Q. Been seeing a man for about a month, we work for the same company but not in the same property meaning we do not physically see each other at work a lot at all. Anyway, I found out that despite what he told me, he is married since it was announce...
A. 6 April 2015: I totally agree with Honeypie! GOOD that you didn't sleep with him! He's married, and therefore ending it with him is the right thing to do. He's a liar who hid his marriage from you.
You can easily do better. I'm just glad you dodged a huge b... (read in full...)
I'm ready to settle down and start a family, but she isn't.
Q. Dear All, I need some advice and help, I have got myself in to a pickle! I am a 34 year old man, I have been looking for ideal soul mate or a woman who I can start a family with, In the process I have dated quite a few. I finally moved in with ...
A. 6 April 2015: To be honest with you, you're not ready to settle down if you find years worth of lying and cheating so easy to do.
The answer is - neither of these women you should settle down with. You've already blown up your relationships with both of them ... (read in full...)
He makes excuses to not give me his facebook password!
Q. So i've been with my boyfriend since mid November, i love him dearly but i've always had a few trust issues with him. As of lately theyve gotten really bad, he wont give me his Facebook password, uses the excuse "i change it to much, ive forgot it." ...
A. 6 April 2015: You are not nor never will be entitled to your boyfriend's Facebook password. That is an invasion of privacy that you should stop asking for.
You either trust him or you don't. If he's a cheater, it wouldn't matter how many passwords you had ... (read in full...)
My siblings are harassing me to return my inheritance
Q. Hi there, What a great site and an awesome place to come with a problem.So here goes. My mom died in December 2012.My brother was power of attorney and is actually a lawyer and was power of attorney of the estate.My sister was the executor...
A. 6 April 2015: Don't pay another penny. Don't say another word to them. Your lawyer needs to shield you now. Who is the will's executor?? Whoever that is and whoever had your mom's legal power of attorney is the one who's on the hook, so don't let them bully ... (read in full...)
How can I improve our sex life? My wife does not like to try new or different things. She is a plus size too
Q. MODNOTE: for those in other countries here is a size conversion link ADDED to this post by a Moderator http://www.usatourist.com/english/traveltips/shopping/shopping-womens-sizes.html ---------------------------------------- How do i make sex with ...
A. 5 April 2015: What is it you're wanting to try?? It's not always the body size that causes inadventure. Sometimes it's the position itself that is the issue. For example, it doesn't take body size to have an aversion to anal sex, or even doggy style. All it ... (read in full...)
Did I just get hot and steamy online with a married guy?
Q. Hi everyone, I'll try not to ramble too much. Well basically I play the online game World of Warcraft and I talk often to a guy on there who is two years younger than me. Although we are from very different social backgrounds I do enjoy talking to ...
A. 5 April 2015: I'm not angry at you. Think of my emotions about this situation like this:
You're the little mouse walking into a centipede trap in South America. I see the trap plain as day, but you aren't seeing it. Don't mistake my caring about you as anger... (read in full...)
Did I just get hot and steamy online with a married guy?
Q. Hi everyone, I'll try not to ramble too much. Well basically I play the online game World of Warcraft and I talk often to a guy on there who is two years younger than me. Although we are from very different social backgrounds I do enjoy talking to ...
A. 5 April 2015: Rarely when I read posts here from OP's do I have more questions than answers. However, given your age and your self-awareness, I find you interesting and unique.
However, you are still susceptible to the weaknesses of humanity, and in this cas... (read in full...)
Gf didn't want me to attend my work function. Am I not allowed a break? This isn't about girls...this is about a little freedom
Q. Is this normal? I have been in relationship for two years and we both had tough financial times but things are looking up. We do not live together yet. I found myself a new job, and after two weeks of declining to join work crew for drinks I f...
A. 4 April 2015: Sure - go ahead and ask more questions!... (read in full...)
Gf didn't want me to attend my work function. Am I not allowed a break? This isn't about girls...this is about a little freedom
Q. Is this normal? I have been in relationship for two years and we both had tough financial times but things are looking up. We do not live together yet. I found myself a new job, and after two weeks of declining to join work crew for drinks I f...
A. 3 April 2015: She doesn't get to "allow" or "not allow" you anything. All you owe her is to not be unfaithful. You do not have to cater to HER jealousy, controlling, or trust issues. In fact, the more you try to "prove" yourself to her, the worse she will get, ... (read in full...)
After me being madly in love with him for years, he wants FWB!
Q. Soooooooo after 5 five years being maddly "in love" with a friend who always blew me away, he finally decided to tell me about his feelings and, he want to be friends with benefits , and idk i like him IN THAT WAY but i also want him in other way ...
A. 1 April 2015: Let's talk about this one for a second. Since you were at least 12, he's "blown you away"?
Let his immature worthless selfishness "blow you back" to reality.
Do not let him be your first. He is dog lint. And that is an insult to dogs. ... (read in full...)
He loves porn more than he loves me. Is it normal to be so upset about this situation?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 3 years, and the whole of our relationship he has never been able to have an orgasm during intercourse. He says it was the same with his previous partners and it's not just me. But he is the only per...
A. 30 March 2015: He's addicted to porn. He's gotten too used to the grip of his hand and his mind too artificially overstimulated to respond naturally to intercourse. It's not you, nor are you competing with porn stars.
He is so addicted that he's willing ... (read in full...)
My best friend is a guy. I like to be honest about this to any guy I want to date. Does this scare off guys I want to date?
Q. Hi all, thanks for reading. I seem to have an issue with dating because my best friend is a guy. We dated a few years back, decided that we weren't good in a relationship, so we became good friends. He is also married now. My dilemma i...
A. 30 March 2015: I don't think any woman who has a guy friend is off-limits, but what strikes against you is the fact that you used to date this guy, which means you two have history as being more than friends. It's one thing if you two had a type of ... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 27 March 2015: Interesting website, and I can understand the point of view.
My son is nearly 15. We've already spoken about porn and sex at length and had a couple of really good and open discussions about it. I didn't wait until he "discovered" it because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a 'fat' fetish. Why?
Q. I think my boyfriend has a 'fat' fetish. I am a very pretty girl, I am not overweight, and have never had a problem getting guys. I'm a petite brunette. I've always had a good sex life with my boyfriend's, always felt wanted and like they are 1000% ...
A. 27 March 2015: "Isn't a fetish usually something you keep hidden?"
Not necessarily, no.
He fabricated the story because he is a societal weakling, afraid of the opinions of his friends. He saw the fat girl as everything he described "gorgeous, knock... (read in full...)
She told me she wasn't going to stay in touch with the ex, but now she is going to visit him!
Q. My gf left her Facebook acc open in my cellphone. I read a conversation where she tells her exbf in brazil she is gonna go visit him. We've been together for almost 6 months. I talked to her about this when we went out first and she said she wasnt ...
A. 27 March 2015: It's a good thing you were only with her for six months. Break up with her - she kept in touch with the ex behind your back. She's planning to meet him behind your back. This is what she really thinks of you.
Do not let her talk her way out ... (read in full...)
My aspergers boyfriend wont have sex with me.
Q. Hi, I am seeking help as I am dating an aspergers male virgin. I have researched various articles and I am trying to understand it more. I have grown up around aspergers/autism as majority of males in my family have it, however dating is different. ...
A. 27 March 2015: I agree - respect his decision! If he's not ready, he's not ready. If he's holding out until marriage, then you need to decide whether you're compatible with that idea. But don't make him feel bad for that decision. Many virgin non-Asbergers ... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 27 March 2015: That's not quite true, OP. I can't speak to other religions, but the one I grew up in didn't have a different definition of porn addict than anyone else. The difference is that when it came out that someone in the clergy was into porn, it made a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a 'fat' fetish. Why?
Q. I think my boyfriend has a 'fat' fetish. I am a very pretty girl, I am not overweight, and have never had a problem getting guys. I'm a petite brunette. I've always had a good sex life with my boyfriend's, always felt wanted and like they are 1000% ...
A. 26 March 2015: I have multiple thoughts about this post.
First of all, I wouldn't have accepted your boyfriend's explanation of sleeping with someone else as "we weren't exclusive yet". When sex enters the picture, unless the understanding is that you're a... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 25 March 2015: Nobody is mocking you, OP! Your post made me laugh not because I was mocking you, but because your stereotyping was way off and it was amusing. Lighten up! I actually liked your post - which is why I answered honestly and respectfully. I didn't ... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 25 March 2015: I am not calling YOU names. He sees you as a meal ticket and sex holder. Surely you can see that NOW after finding out that he's still very much with her physically! Stop attacking other people and face your real problem.
You've gone way past... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 25 March 2015: By the way - I heard a statistic that 1 in 6 users of porn are women! Surely there isn't a tattooed pierced army out there!... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 25 March 2015: LOL!!!!! I haven't laughed this hard at a post in the 5 years I've been on this site!!! Your description of a woman okay with porn had me cracking up here!
I don't care if my husband watches porn or not provided that it doesn't affect his desi... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 24 March 2015: He moved into your house?? OMG.
You are being used in every possible way a guy can use someone. What do you need trust for? You're the meal ticket and the sex holder rolled into one. Of course he's carrying on with his wife. He has everythi... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 23 March 2015: Because he wants no-strings sex, that's why! It's not that hard to figure out. There's nothing EX about his WIFE, so you shouldn't refer to her as his EX. The only RESOLUTION there is in this case is for YOU to END IT and walk. If you've been ... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 23 March 2015: Seriously?? You're his MISTRESS and he is MARRIED. You have wasted 5 years of your life on this loser, and every day you waver is another day wasted.
YES, you're insecure for even BEING with him. Do you think that you aren't worth having a... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 23 March 2015: You are 51-59? Is your guy the same age? Are the kids grown is what I'm getting at? If his kids are grown, then he has no business talking to her in any capacity. If they are still minors, then he does, but only to coordinate child care issues ... (read in full...)
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