A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i am curently seeing two guys (x and y) by accident and i don't know which guy to stay with. They both know i am seeing another guy as well as them and for the past week they are both trying to convince me to stay with them. x is so kind and always puts me first also he goes to my school and understands my very many issues. y lives ages away from me and is a lot older than me but he says he is crazy for me. I have no clue which one to end it with, last night x and i had an argument and i dont think i have cried so much in one day. I do love x and i think y might just be one of those guys you think you can't live without but you really can. Can you help me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (10 June 2015):
 Also - just another thought.
Imagine if this was a different situation.
What if X had met another girl, and was trying to decide which of you to go out with? How would that make you feel?
Pretty crappy I bet.
Emotions and hearts can be fragile. Just because they are boys, don't forget they have feelings too.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (10 June 2015):
I have to agree with Wiseowl on this.
There really is no competition here, because if you did really like X or Y, then the choice would be easy.
If you really cared for X, you would not have started seeing Y, and if you really cared for Y you would have finished with X.
The fact that you cannot choose between them tells us "old folks" that you don't like either of them "enough". They are just convenient at the moment. If it really was deep emotion involved you could not bear to lose one or the other.
In this situation, trying to decide and keeping them both on the fishing line whilst you make up your mind is both unfair to them and to you. X and Y both deserve to be with someone who really wants to be in a relationship with them.
No one likes waiting around to be told they are second best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2015): This is pretty common for young people in your age-group. You're not really committed to anyone; and you can freely hangout with whomever you choose until feelings take hold.
If you can't make up your mind, you like them for superficial reasons. That's immature. The easiest remedy is just be friends with both, and not try to make either of them a boyfriend. You're not ready for that anyway, if you have trouble deciding who you like best. They'll lose interest in you shortly; and will both find other girls who can make up her mind. They've got choices too!
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A
female
reader, claireh96 +, writes (9 June 2015):
If you find yourself in love with two people then always choose the second person because if you were truly dedicated to the first then you would never have fallen for the second.
Or flip a coin and before you look at whether it's heads/tails you will already know which one you want to pick. If Y is heads and it lands on heads and you are disappointed then you will know that X is the one you want or vice versa.. Hope this helped! :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (9 June 2015):
 Y has no future and you know it.
You're in grave danger of losing X and you also know it.
Your only real decision is either X or neither of them.
If you delay, you will lose both of them. You're a teenager, and dating someone much older than you at your age carries a risk of being used because he is not in the same place you are, and what's more is he's been around the block and knows what you like to hear.
X goes to your school, is your age, and the relationship is much more balanced. Y represents an imbalance.
I suggest making your decision in the next 24 hours. You're already straining your X relationship to the breaking point.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2015): Based on what you've said... X sounds like the keeper! Good luck :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2015): Sounds like you like x better. Plus what's the point in dating y if he lives miles away? Dating multiple people creates a lot of drama do you really need\want that?
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