My B/f said, "'not to sound rude but you have a lot of stretch marks baby maybe you should do something about them"
Q. I've been with a man for almost a year and only recently been sexually active with him. He recently made a comment 'not to sound rude but you have a lot of stretch marks baby maybe you should do something about them' I told them they are all ...
A. 25 August 2015: Your boyfriend is an idiot.
Stretch marks are genetic for the most part, and even the most fit and muscular thin women can get them simply by having breasts and DEFINITELY by getting pregnant. Even the most expensive surgical options are painful,... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is working but I'm here still waiting to go to university. Should I go to work instead?
Q. Hi, My girlfriend just dropped out from university and is now finding a working job, while I'm still waiting to go university next year due to national service for my country. I still left another 10 months before getting my civilian status. ...
A. 25 August 2015: Your girlfriend took a shortcut and made a bad decision.
Do not quit your plans for any reason. You are not thinking long-term, and if your reasons for wanting to drop out of university is because you're afraid of losing her, then you REALLY n... (read in full...)
What are some good ways for a 13 year old to make money?
Q. What are some good ways for a 13 year old to make money, I get paid for singing in a choir but my mum makes me by EVERYTHING myself (well not literally everything). My mums great,but when it comes to buying me stuff then... She's not so great! I ...
A. 25 August 2015: Great question, and I applaud you for asking!
I made a lot of money babysitting at 13 years old. I also made money working in my mom's friend's stable tending to the horses. Rich people who love their horses pay really well!
Taking care o... (read in full...)
How can my boyfriend be so unreasonable? He has the nerve to be angry because I slept with someone before him!
Q. I'm having a huge argument with my boyfriend and I'd like some advice on how to handle it. About a month before I ever met him I was dating quite a bit, we met each other on a dating site so he was quite aware that I was dating people before I ...
A. 25 August 2015: I would decimate this guy for breaking into my phone while I slept to snoop in my private emails. Never mind he had the gall to judge you before he met you! He violated your trust in your relationship. Snooping is not cool, and I would have ... (read in full...)
Should I give away my virginity to an online stranger?
Q. I have been holding out long enough. I am tired of dating guys that as of lately has led to nowhere (trust, I know when to exit the relationship-if you called that). I'm managing to stay focused on my career. Just received a promotion last week. Not ...
A. 24 August 2015: Gross!! That's like asking if you can should a filthy catbox with your tongue.
If you're worried a guy might not want you for you, the last thing to do is to go find a guy who would respect you less than a blow-up sex doll.
Your virginit... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been talking to his ex girlfriend lately, should I say something?
Q. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend got back in touch with him a few weeks ago on facebook and they've been talking since. He says they have just been catching up and that she tells him about work, her baby niece, etc. I believe nothing inappropriate is...
A. 24 August 2015: The big issue is one you didn't tell us. You said that they're talking on Facebook, right? How do you know this? Did he TELL you about it? Was he open with you about her being in his life, or did you discover this by snooping, and he is doing ... (read in full...)
He says he ''can't do without me'' but he stays married. I'm single, but what to do?
Q. I'm 22y old and still single. i love married man and he also loves me more. He says he can't do without me. but I can't keep doing fake relationship.what to do?...
A. 23 August 2015: Never give your time, your youth, or your beauty to a worthless cheater who is using you. A cheater's very words are worthless and are nothing more than his manipulation tools to keep you on your back with your legs wide open.
He will never le... (read in full...)
I'm dating a woman who's bigger and I'm totally into her. Why do some people question my choice, my preferences and my motives?
Q. There seems to be an issue that's come up a lot in my life and I'm wondering if others have perhaps have experienced the same thing. Ever since I was a teenager I have been more attracted to females that are more full-figured. Its not that I don...
A. 23 August 2015: It's funny that most of the time peer pressure is applied, it's not towards a healthy outcome. The same pressure that that guy put on you to ditch your girlfriend for someone he felt suited you better is the same one that gets people to smoke for ... (read in full...)
My ex's new girlfriend has posted that she is in a relationship on facebook. How should I act?
Q. My ex's new girlfriend has posted "in relationship" with my ex on her Facebook page. She has slept around a bit and knew it would hurt me as we dislike each other intensely and usually she has her settings set to private so I wouldn't see. S...
A. 23 August 2015: Actually, your thinking as to what "winning" is is backwards.
You said this:
"How should I react to this? I know she is trying to rub my face in it - and I would love to make a nasty comment back - but if I say nothing she'll think she's won!... (read in full...)
Why would a guy break up with his girlfriend but then still be friends and call and message her?
Q. My ex and i had been together just over a year until he broke up with me 2 months ago and about three weeks after the break up I ended up getting a job in another country and moved. I had hoped in some way, that this would make moving on easier and ...
A. 22 August 2015: That's an easy question. Ego is the main reason. You are familiar to him, and he knows you're at his beck and call. He knows your feelings for him, and so he hedges HIS future with you, which is dishonest and is using you.
How can YOU move on ... (read in full...)
When do we feel like we're completely grown up?
Q. I am getting married soon. I have been excited up to this point, as I am with a really, really great guy. Now that it's becoming reality, I am having some strange feeling. I don't want to sound like a schmuck with low self esteem but I question ...
A. 21 August 2015: Hah! We all feel the same way when we're about to get married. A week before I walked down the aisle, I had a full-on panic attack while emotionally choking on many of the questions you asked on here. And - I've lost my keys before as well.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend of 7 months will not have sex nor let me see her naked
Q. My partner will not let me see her naked and as of yet we have not had any form of sexual contact and this is after us being together for over 7 months and each and everytime I try to talk to her about this she starts to cry and tells me that her ...
A. 20 August 2015: You know, the funny thing is - it's 2am here, and while I was typing some sort of philosophical and deep answer to your post that addressed her deep-seeded insecurities, the power went out here, leaving me in pitch black except my monitor light, and ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know what my boyfriend's puzzling statement means?
Q. Hi, i had a conversation with my boyfriend about love and he said i appreciate your interest in me but in this matters i become like st thomas the only difference is that i also want to see myself. Any clue what he means....
A. 20 August 2015: It's a biblical reference, which pretty much means "I won't believe it until I see it".
This could mean many things. The only thing to do is to ask him what that means.
It could mean, if you two haven't had sex, that he's pressuring you f... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend TELLS ME that he looks at beautiful women.
Q. I started dating a man 3 months ago and we were madly in love with each other. I never noticed he ever looked at other women; there was no cause for jealousy...when he asked me if I went hiking with another man in my hiking club, I reassured him and ...
A. 9 August 2015: Actually, he's doing much more than try to make you jealous. Yes, he is trying to make you jealous, but what he's really trying to do is manipulate you into giving him the dominant position in the relationship. He told you he loves you at only the ... (read in full...)
65 year old submissive cross dresser. How can I encourage my wife to be more tolerant and supportive?
Q. I'm a submissive,married crossdresser, and although my wife knows of my dressing, she does not participate or encourage me in any manner. I wish she could be somewhat supportive, and I could also share my other fetishes and fantasies with her. In ...
A. 8 August 2015: Why would you want your wife to see other guys??
And, what does "supportive" mean? If it means you sleeping with others, she shouldn't have to be.
The fact that she knows it and accepts it is support enough. I don't understand how e... (read in full...)
I gave oral sex after losing my virginity should I have tests done?
Q. Hey everyone! So recently I lost my virginity. Well in doing so I gave him a bl-wjob. I'll be honest, it hurt! So much but then after, I went down on him. He broke the hymen so I did bleed a lot. Ok so the question is, will there be any problems ...
A. 8 August 2015: Yes, you should have an STI test done. You just had unprotected sex, and losing virginity, to put it bluntly, causes an open wound when the hymen is torn. The BJ is beside the point...his fluids connecting with your open wound is the real risk. ... (read in full...)
I accidentally walked in on my elderly mother masturbating and don't know how to feel about this
Q. Hi - this is going to be a strange topic - but I am in my 40s and have just walked in on my mum (who is in her late 70s) masterbating at her house in the middle of the day. We were all sat in the garden when I looked up and saw my mum had gone ind...
A. 8 August 2015: Go OP's mom! You do know what a closed door means in a house, right? Why did you not knock? She can take personal time away even with people there.
What you do is never bring it up again except to apologize for walking in on her, and you deal... (read in full...)
Husband suddenly showing physical agression, how worried should I be?
Q. Married for 15 years, we learned to deal with each others faults and most notably his short fuse, shouting and verbal abuse. He's been seeing a shrink for years now. HE was NEVER physically abusive. And yeas, he has some great qualities too (he's ...
A. 8 August 2015: I agree with Honeypie 100%.
I also read something in your post that had me do a double-take.
When he had you by the hand and hurting you, why didn't you tell him "You're hurting me"? If it were me, I'd have said that. YOU'RE hurting me. YOU... (read in full...)
Should I stop sending money to my ungrateful niece?
Q. I have a 20 year niece in college. I send money to her for school. Most of the time, I receive no thank you or word that she received the money. I stopped sending gifts because of this. She spends time with other uncles (younger) going to ...
A. 7 August 2015: I don't like saying that all millennials have a sense of entitlement. I know hard working ones, and I think self-absorption is something that happens when you're young. The greatest generation considered the Boomers to be that way when they were ... (read in full...)
Doubts about a girl I dated and she won't say it's over.
Q. Hello,i'm having a hard time with this girl i dated back in July.Thing went really good,we kissed and the date was a success.Here comes the tricky part though.2 days after the date she had to leave to go to her hometown for the rest of the summer to ...
A. 7 August 2015: She is hoping you'll take the hint and leave on your own. It's a cowardly thing to do on her part, and it's immature. You should at any rate take the hint and cut off all communication with her. It sounds like she's with someone else, and even ... (read in full...)
Should I stop sending money to my ungrateful niece?
Q. I have a 20 year niece in college. I send money to her for school. Most of the time, I receive no thank you or word that she received the money. I stopped sending gifts because of this. She spends time with other uncles (younger) going to ...
A. 7 August 2015: Before you do that, you should tell her exactly what you told us. Give her a chance to realize that she is being oblivious to the fact that you're a real person and that the money is an act of love on your part. I know that many people regret the ... (read in full...)
We tried a new sexual position and 5 minutes after finishing boyfriend was ready again??
Q. Last night my bf and I tried a new sex position for the first time. We've been together for years so we're not a new couple, we know each other. He came, I saw it, and within 5 minutes of us finishing he was already hard from "thinking about it", he ...
A. 7 August 2015: Actually, OMG...that's an extreme compliment to how good it actually WAS with you. Women having multiples are never questioned as not being "good" enough. For a guy to have multiples, or as close to them as possible, means it was better than good. ... (read in full...)
My wife talked me into a threesome and she had anal sex with the guy but has never let me. How do I move on?
Q. I have been married for 5 years and recently my wife had started suggesting that she would like to try a 3sum with another man. After some convincing I agreed to have one with her for her birthday. But I should never have agreed to it. In the moment ...
A. 7 August 2015: In your case, you can't unscramble the egg, since the damage has already been done. I would have vehemently advised AGAINST the threesome in the first place because of what you're going through right now.
Right now, the best advice I can give you... (read in full...)
My very well off boyfriend spent time with me on birthday but didn't get me flowers, candy or a gift. He says I shouldn't complain because he spent time with me!
Q. Hello, I am dating a man for 7 months and we have been intimate and exclusive. It was my birthday; but he didn't think it important to send a card, or flowers or take me to dinner. He came over my house and spent time with me, in our intimate way...
A. 7 August 2015: Whether he is rich or poor has nothing to do with it. Someone who is generous can be that way no longer what their monetary status is, which is why restaurant servers can tell you that some of their biggest nightmare patrons are well-off people who ... (read in full...)
He's mean to me and I don't feel loved. What do I do?
Q. Why does he always shout at me? He says I complain to much:(? So I ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now. He s been unemployed over half the time we ve been together. I ve supported him financially, I ve been there when he had no one, pra...
A. 5 August 2015: Why didn't you go into the ER if you were having chest pains?? Usually when there's serious pain like that, worrying about the level of sympathy from a partner should be the least of anyone's worries.
Your health issue aside, let me be clear. ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to ask my former HS if she would like to meet for lunch?
Q. I've been out of HS for 15 years now but I do still keep in touch with my Spanish teacher, because she was more than a teacher to me, she was a strong support and I know for certain I would not be where I am today had it not been for her support and ...
A. 5 August 2015: You're correct about the texting alone. You can't translate that to a blanket "he approves of me, so let's just ask her to lunch and not worry about him because he approves" sort of thing.
The "let's text" in front of her husband was a social n... (read in full...)
Is it ok to ask my former HS if she would like to meet for lunch?
Q. I've been out of HS for 15 years now but I do still keep in touch with my Spanish teacher, because she was more than a teacher to me, she was a strong support and I know for certain I would not be where I am today had it not been for her support and ...
A. 5 August 2015: It would not be appropriate unless her husband knows and is in full support. In fact, inviting them both to lunch may be the way to do if you want to display that this has nothing to do with anything inappropriate.
If you were married, you woul... (read in full...)
First time sexual experience was painful and wasn't finished. Anyone have any experience with this?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, Yesterday me and my fiance tried to have full intercourse for the first time. We've been together for almost 2 years, we've been sexually active for most of our realtionship. We've done alot of sexual activities and we have ...
A. 4 August 2015: Have you used lubricant like KY? He is also right that you tense up. The hymen breaking is painful in most women, but there is the option that if you have an unusually thick hymen (it's very rare, but it happens on occasion), you can see a doctor ... (read in full...)
Friendship only: How can I tell him that I want friendship and no more than that?
Q. Hello everyone A couple of months ago I met a man. We're both in our late 50s and single. We live about 100 miles apart and have met up four times and had a great time. He always gives me big hugs hello and goodbye, and he bought me flowers...
A. 29 July 2015: The "let's start as friends" is as old as courtship itself. It's his "in" in order to become more than friends with you. You already know that it's apparent that he wants more.
You need to tell him that "We'll never be more than friends"... (read in full...)
Friendship only: How can I tell him that I want friendship and no more than that?
Q. Hello everyone A couple of months ago I met a man. We're both in our late 50s and single. We live about 100 miles apart and have met up four times and had a great time. He always gives me big hugs hello and goodbye, and he bought me flowers...
A. 28 July 2015: You can't have it just continue as a friendship, because what you REALLY want is his paying premium attention to you and making you feel special without reciprocating.
No guy just interested in a platonic friendship drives 100 miles at a time sev... (read in full...)
My Mum has issues with me dating an older lady!
Q. Mum has issues me dating older lady. She's turning 36 and I am 32. She has a daughter about 10 years old. The relationship has been good. We have dated two years and my mum is totally against it. She feels she is way older and much too mature for ...
A. 26 July 2015: I know that in your culture, a guy at your age typically go for much younger women (not underage ones), but you are who you choose to be. A man doesn't let his mom tell him what his weaknesses are or will be (i.e. predicting a wandering eye). Love ... (read in full...)
I don't feel I owe him an "official" break up. My friend says I left my bf for minor reasons. Did I?
Q. Is it immature to leave a long term boyfriend for minor reasons? My bf has never spent any of his birthdays with me for the almost six years we've been together. It too four years for me to meet his mum and I've never been invited to family ...
A. 24 July 2015: So you were with your BF for 6 years. Neglect is never a minor reason, but dating and kissing another guy behind his back is cheating, and not breaking up with your boyfriend clean is cowardice.
Make it quick, say "We're over", and then break th... (read in full...)
Help! I don't feel loved next to porn.
Q. I've never gone on anything like this for advice but I'm alone in this. My friends and family wouldn't understand. I can take judgement in here but not from them. Ok, my fiancé and I have been together since we were 16. We're 27 now and have two ...
A. 24 July 2015: He's become addicted, and that has nothing to do with how you look. When he has to look at porn (under the guise of "sharing" pics with you or otherwise) to get aroused, then he has a huge problem. 6 hours at a time?!?
This is HIS problem.... (read in full...)
What is the point in remaining married really?
Q. Hello cupid, I am a 40YO female struggling with the meaning of marriage. We originally wed 8 years ago with the thought that we might decide to have children together. Now I found out I have PCOS which makes it hard but not impossible to have c...
A. 23 July 2015: The point? You don't see the point of staying in a marriage without wealth or children? If that were the case, then those would be part of the marriage vows you take.
For people who get married in a world where we can choose who we marry, l... (read in full...)
All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: Casual sex is risky like Russian Roulette is risky. Five times out of six, no damage occurs, but that one time out of six, it's devastating.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because devastation hasn't happened YET, that it never wi... (read in full...)
Passcodes on phones. Should we each know each other's passcode?
Q. My BF knows the passcode on my iphone.. I don't really need to hide anything from him so for me is ok if he just grab my phone. But he has his own phone and I don't have access to his passcode.. I feel it's not right. I did talk about this in the ...
A. 10 July 2015: I agree -- change your own passcode. Would you expect to be able to rifle through his wallet when he's not around, and vice versa? Smartphones have information that is very personal and sensitive, especially now with ipay becoming more prominent. ... (read in full...)
I'm being used by every man in my life and constantly controlled
Q. I keep ending up in two types of relationships and I have no idea how this keeps happening! I either end up in one where it becomes nothing but sex, or one where the guy WILL NOT let me not date him or break up with him. The guys who DO want a ...
A. 7 July 2015: WhenCowsAttack has fantastic advice for you. Aidan has good insight as well. You're not in any position to be taking on relationships, especially ones where you are letting others do everything for you.
To be honest, you're being controll... (read in full...)
Am I nitpicking or are these various issues, such as her very bad breath, deal breakers in our relationship?
Q. Hiya Agony Aunts. There are a few things that nag at me about this girl I just started dating, and I'm not sure why. As y'all are likely older and more experienced than I am, I'd like your perspective. We started dating about 3 or 4 week...
A. 1 July 2015: You're not being nitpicky. There are a couple of these things I see as serious red flags, to be honest. I'll number them like you did, and then give my advice afterwards:
1. Work ethic. A poor work ethic is to come in late, cut corners,... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend treats me as his girlfriend
Q. My ex and I have been broken up for almost 5mos now. We didn't see each other for the first 3mos but within the last 2mos we have been hanging it out. We were together for a year. We did have sex a few times here and there but I don't feel bad about ...
A. 29 June 2015: Actually, like Honeypie said, he's not actually treating you like a girlfriend. Treating you like a girlfriend would be committing to you as a boyfriend and being there for you 100%. He is not interested in an actual RELATIONSHIP, which is the ... (read in full...)
He has double standards and I'm not sure how to approach this! Help?
Q. I met a man a year and half ago. He had just been divorced and has full custody of his two kids. We moved in together in January and now we are talking about getting married, but I have a major issue now. When I was moving my stuff in he didn't want ...
A. 26 June 2015: Well, see, in my opinion, he didn't go far enough. He should have bought an X-ray machine and hired two burly looking TSA agents with latex gloves. BRING BACK STRIP SEARCHES! What is wrong with this nation? New girlfriends will bring down the ... (read in full...)
She says she will not sleep with anyone while we are "actively working on our relationship" How am I supposed to trust her ?
Q. A little background on my marriage, we've been together for 10 years and married for almost 5 and we have an almost 6 year old son. Before this we had only ever been intimate with each other. Back in December my wife and I seperated. I was...
A. 26 June 2015: I read your post a number of times, and I was going to respond one way, but it hit me like a ton of bricks that the real issue is the one BEHIND your marriage, and unless you pull it out from the background and onto the microscope, you'll struggle ... (read in full...)
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