About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 27 March 2015: Interesting website, and I can understand the point of view.
My son is nearly 15. We've already spoken about porn and sex at length and had a couple of really good and open discussions about it. I didn't wait until he "discovered" it because ... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 27 March 2015: That's not quite true, OP. I can't speak to other religions, but the one I grew up in didn't have a different definition of porn addict than anyone else. The difference is that when it came out that someone in the clergy was into porn, it made a ... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 25 March 2015: Nobody is mocking you, OP! Your post made me laugh not because I was mocking you, but because your stereotyping was way off and it was amusing. Lighten up! I actually liked your post - which is why I answered honestly and respectfully. I didn't ... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 25 March 2015: I am not calling YOU names. He sees you as a meal ticket and sex holder. Surely you can see that NOW after finding out that he's still very much with her physically! Stop attacking other people and face your real problem.
You've gone way past... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 25 March 2015: By the way - I heard a statistic that 1 in 6 users of porn are women! Surely there isn't a tattooed pierced army out there!... (read in full...)
About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?
Q. This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...
A. 25 March 2015: LOL!!!!! I haven't laughed this hard at a post in the 5 years I've been on this site!!! Your description of a woman okay with porn had me cracking up here!
I don't care if my husband watches porn or not provided that it doesn't affect his desi... (read in full...)
My gf is upset with me for talking to my ex
Q. Me and my exs relationship ended almost 3 years ago and I've been with my now gf for 2 years. My ex gf messaged me on Facebook last Saturday night (we had not spoken for like 8 months prior to this, we don't speak hardly at all to be honest). We ...
A. 25 March 2015: Your GF isn't scared to lose you. Your GF is pissed that you established contact with your ex including a red-carpet promise to continue contact by giving her your number without so much as a single thought to how she would feel about it.
YOU s... (read in full...)
He thinks that someone who is bisexual can't be faithful. Do I tell him I'm bisexual?
Q. Hi all, So, I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He's wonderful, and I wouldn't change a thing about our relationship but there's one thing he doesn't know about me: I'm bisexual. I've known since I was fourteen, but it just has...
A. 25 March 2015: THANK YOU CHIGIRL! You said it much better than I did!... (read in full...)
He thinks that someone who is bisexual can't be faithful. Do I tell him I'm bisexual?
Q. Hi all, So, I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He's wonderful, and I wouldn't change a thing about our relationship but there's one thing he doesn't know about me: I'm bisexual. I've known since I was fourteen, but it just has...
A. 25 March 2015: He's got a bit of prejudice and homophobia going on. That's a myth that a bisexual equals "amoral" and that they can't help themselves. Someone with principles and integrity wouldn't bother with another attractive person if they are faithful to a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend read my texts in front of me without my permission. Why did he do this?
Q. I was with my BF of two years the other day and he saw that I received a few texts. The battery died on my phone and as soon as it recharged he saw I had three texts waiting to be read. He seemed very interested in my texts from the moment he sa...
A. 25 March 2015: Good, I'm glad he's not hurting you. That's a relief.
Yes, not only lock your cell phone, but change ALL passwords. Gmail, Facebook, Twitter, your email, your Paypal, Ebay, bank balances, instagram, snapchat, any program where you communic... (read in full...)
I found a box of condoms in his place!
Q. Hello everyone, I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now, rough patch but we get through it all. i have keys to his place, and yesterday I dont know why I snooped around. In one drawer iour bedroom, I saw a box of condoms. We dont...
A. 25 March 2015: I'd break up immediately with a guy who did that to me.... (read in full...)
I found a box of condoms in his place!
Q. Hello everyone, I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now, rough patch but we get through it all. i have keys to his place, and yesterday I dont know why I snooped around. In one drawer iour bedroom, I saw a box of condoms. We dont...
A. 24 March 2015: You BROKE into his house while he was gone and rifled through his drawers? You're kidding, right?? He extended trust to you by giving you his keys, and you broke it.
You didn't check the expiration date on those condoms?? On the Trojan site, th... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 24 March 2015: He moved into your house?? OMG.
You are being used in every possible way a guy can use someone. What do you need trust for? You're the meal ticket and the sex holder rolled into one. Of course he's carrying on with his wife. He has everythi... (read in full...)
What percentage of women think about another man or an ex partner while having sex with their husband
Q. What percentage of women think about another man or an ex partner why having sex with there husband...
A. 24 March 2015: Is there even a statistic that quantifies that sort of thing??
From doing one effortless Google search, I see that it's common for both genders.
I can only answer for myself. I shut off higher thought and concentrate on feelings. I'm a... (read in full...)
Should I confront him with what I found?
Q. So I just found two hotel keys cards in my boyfriend's overnight bag that he took with him to his mothers house...should I tell him that I found the keys.........
A. 24 March 2015: I'm with the anon female who is suggesting doing research. I think I have hotel keys stuck in my overnight bag from 10 years ago - I keep forgetting to throw them away and usually find them when I'm packing for my next trip.
The question is - why... (read in full...)
Is this a break-up? Why did he threaten me and say such cruel things?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf has told me he has some work related problems, and wanted me never to talk to him anymore. Long story short, he always make mountain out of mole person and he lies often, I don't entirely but his story. Still wanted to be the...
A. 23 March 2015: YES, he has broken up with you. It is over, it is done, it is FINAL. With what you described as his conversation with you, you should count your blessings that such a horrible person is out of your life.
Keep his number deleted, and if he tries... (read in full...)
He's a lovely man but moving fast and I haven't had the "He's the one moment!:" yet
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I'm seeking some advice. I've started a relationship with a lovely man after a long history of really rubbish relationships, one of which was emotionally abusive. We've only been together one month. He is kind, attentive,...
A. 23 March 2015: One month in is way too soon to even have talk of "love" enter the picture, much less moving in and having a family. That is a serious red flag. Many people in healthy-moving relationships haven't even gotten sexual in that first month and for ... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 23 March 2015: Because he wants no-strings sex, that's why! It's not that hard to figure out. There's nothing EX about his WIFE, so you shouldn't refer to her as his EX. The only RESOLUTION there is in this case is for YOU to END IT and walk. If you've been ... (read in full...)
Originally I didn't know he has a Gf when I flirted with him. Should I ignore him now, or say something?
Q. I have to see him all the time for the next few weeks too and it's going to be awkward :( Me and my friends are travelling in Ireland and we're staying in a backpackers hostel for two weeks. Last night, we met a group of young guys who were als...
A. 23 March 2015: As of now, no harm, no foul, no embarrassment! Now that you know, then you just do like WiseOwle said, and treat him as though he has a girlfriend. Be friendly like you would another girl, but just no more flirting. Easy as pie. If he has a ... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 23 March 2015: Seriously?? You're his MISTRESS and he is MARRIED. You have wasted 5 years of your life on this loser, and every day you waver is another day wasted.
YES, you're insecure for even BEING with him. Do you think that you aren't worth having a... (read in full...)
He's a lovely man but moving fast and I haven't had the "He's the one moment!:" yet
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I'm seeking some advice. I've started a relationship with a lovely man after a long history of really rubbish relationships, one of which was emotionally abusive. We've only been together one month. He is kind, attentive,...
A. 23 March 2015: You *SHOULD* be terrified, and don't dismiss it for one hot second. What honest relationship in the first MONTH when the both of you are still strangers to each other brings up love, moving in, and marriage?? No honest relationship.
Guys ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend read my texts in front of me without my permission. Why did he do this?
Q. I was with my BF of two years the other day and he saw that I received a few texts. The battery died on my phone and as soon as it recharged he saw I had three texts waiting to be read. He seemed very interested in my texts from the moment he sa...
A. 23 March 2015: Thanks Cindy. :)
OP, you asked "Should I let it slide?"
To be specific, do not make any speeches. Don't bring attention to what he did. Simply change all passwords, security codes, and PINS and lock your phone. Say nothing to him about him... (read in full...)
My boyfriend read my texts in front of me without my permission. Why did he do this?
Q. I was with my BF of two years the other day and he saw that I received a few texts. The battery died on my phone and as soon as it recharged he saw I had three texts waiting to be read. He seemed very interested in my texts from the moment he sa...
A. 23 March 2015: CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD and LOCK YOUR PHONE.
You cannot feed a trust issue, especially if he's gotten professional help to deal with it. You're actually harming him mentally by feeding into it by furnishing your passwords to him. I guarante... (read in full...)
I think he is keeping secrets about his ex from me!
Q. We have been together 5 years and I know he is in contact with his ex-he says to discuss kids. I know she wants him back. I also know they text and call each other frequently. I also know he deletes his texts from her and most likely, the record of ...
A. 23 March 2015: You are 51-59? Is your guy the same age? Are the kids grown is what I'm getting at? If his kids are grown, then he has no business talking to her in any capacity. If they are still minors, then he does, but only to coordinate child care issues ... (read in full...)
The girl I have been chatting with slept with someone else
Q. I have been chatting with a girl for over a year. Lately she has been getting very sexual in her comments, even saying we should meet for sex. I am not necessarily the type to want to meet a woman for sex (only) so I laugh her comments off. ...
A. 22 March 2015: You don't have game and were friendzoned by her. She WAS interested in you and you blew it. Not only that, but you TOLD her you wish she'd finally get laid??? If you're interested in her, why the hell did you laugh off her comment about wanting ... (read in full...)
Does the bride buy the groom the wedding band?
Q. I am getting married in a few weeks. It's kinda rushed because I am pregnant. My man lives in Germany and is relocating. I have pretty much paid and planned for the entire wedding. He promise to pay me back. I feel sad that this is happenin...
A. 22 March 2015: My husband bought my engagement and wedding ring (the wrap went with the e-ring so he paid for them together).
I bought his wedding ring. I had conversations about wedding rings, got him sized, and kinda saw his reactions to men's w-rings ... (read in full...)
Few questions for the guys, including why the heck do you always leave the toilet seat up?
Q. I have a few questions for you guys. 1. Why do guys loose intrest in kissing after couple of months of dating? It seems to me, that first you are all into it, beeing kissed and such, and than, you just loose intrested and its more like "Lets ju...
A. 22 March 2015: 1. My husband thinks that kissing *IS* the good stuff. He likes to better than I do! I stock up on mouthwash and toothpaste.
2. Compatibility. There is a double standard to be sure, but there are also guys out there who don't have one. It's al... (read in full...)
My wife's cushy life is over, but what about the child!
Q. I left home 4 months ago after finding out my wife was cheating with some unemployed junkie we hired to do yard work. I busted my butt making a living so she can stay home even thouhgh our daughter is in school now. Instead of sorry she tried to ...
A. 22 March 2015: First of all, I'm really sorry about what happened with your wife. Cheating is a devastating thing to a marriage, and my heart breaks for you not only that the one person you trusted in all the world betrayed you so cruelly, but then took it a step ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend came back but what about this other guy?
Q. Hi, I have been a relationship for almost 2 years now!lately things have been going downhill,we began to argue a lot and started fighting every single day..after one such major fight we stopped talking to each other for 3 weeks during which I got cl...
A. 21 March 2015: This is why getting into another relationship while leaving one open-ended is always the wrong way to go. Your boyfriend froze you out for 3 weeks? Unacceptable on every count, and could be considered relationship abandonment. I think you should ... (read in full...)
His asking after my mom, and the grey car, have me paranoid now!
Q. My mom just told me that a couple of months ago she was sitting at a park relaxing in her vehicle before reporting to work and thought she saw my boyfriend pull in and get out with another woman. She said she wasn't for sure but that she thought it ...
A. 21 March 2015: He doesn't OWN a gray car, and it doesn't sound like the description of an existing woman in his life. Your mom may not like him, or she may have her own trust issues.
Then again, your mom may have seen him, but it was with an aunt or clergy o... (read in full...)
I'm frustrated with how she deals with oral sex?
Q. I'm currently having a problem with my fiance. She's 27 I'm 29. The problem is she never gives me oral to completion, she will start and stop making sure I don't climax in her mouth. She seems to want to have sex after she sucks it for a bit so I...
A. 20 March 2015: I do NOT let someone hold my head down when I give oral. Giving verbal cues is the way I roll - as in "harder, faster, more, etc".
My advice hinges on the REASON why she starts and stops. I see three possible reasons:
1. She doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend read my texts in front of me without my permission. Why did he do this?
Q. I was with my BF of two years the other day and he saw that I received a few texts. The battery died on my phone and as soon as it recharged he saw I had three texts waiting to be read. He seemed very interested in my texts from the moment he sa...
A. 20 March 2015: Have you ever heard the term "Crime of Opportunity"?
I'm guessing there was a *little* bit of curiosity and maybe the devil on his shoulder saw the opportunity to try to get him to indulge that insecurity, and he found a seemingly plausibl... (read in full...)
Why are men's sexual needs considered more important than a woman's emotional needs?
Q. Another woman here who had found out her husband who claimed to Not use porn had been jerking off to women online. I've read and read and whilst the experts seem to point out the dangers , the general advice from people online is that it's just a n...
A. 20 March 2015: I wanted to address this said by the female anon who said this:
"Most men in my experience lie to the women in their lives and either claim to not use oorn and hide it ir pretend they simply don't want it"
This is a different issue, and in my... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with my FWB man. Should I end it? I don't think he'll leave his g/f for me
Q. I'm in a total quandary! I've been in a "friends with benefits" relationship for over two years with a guy who has a girlfriend, but whom he is mostly only with for financial "trapped" reasons. Debts and life's stresses mean it is nigh on impossible ...
A. 19 March 2015: That guy is lying to you and playing you like a fiddle. Seriously?? He's in debt because he can't handle his own money. He's with her because he can be, and the message he tells her is that he loves her and will always be with her.
You a... (read in full...)
After 4 years together, why does he need time away from me?
Q. Hi DC community, My bf and I are going through some problems in the relationship and have decided to work through them. The main issue is that he is working on himself so he can be better for me, but in the mean time he doesn't want to sleep in...
A. 19 March 2015: A "sense of false reality"??
I'm pretty sure he's seeing someone else, and like the others said, he's either hedging his bets with you in not outright breaking up with you, or he's not wanting to be the bad guy to do the moving out altogeth... (read in full...)
I cheated on my FWB guy and feel bad about it!
Q. okay dont judge me, but I know this guy who i met through work, we became friends but our friendship went to friends with benefits. we have been like that for about 3 years now. but recently i met this new guy at my new job who i thought was ...
A. 19 March 2015: There's no such thing as cheating on an FWB. The primary feature of FWB is No Strings. That means you could sleep with a thousand people and it's not considered cheating.
You do not need to tell your FWB about your other activities. Again, N... (read in full...)
Why are men's sexual needs considered more important than a woman's emotional needs?
Q. Another woman here who had found out her husband who claimed to Not use porn had been jerking off to women online. I've read and read and whilst the experts seem to point out the dangers , the general advice from people online is that it's just a n...
A. 19 March 2015: This has nothing to do with whose needs are more important.
I don't care for porn, but I don't feel like my husband is cheating when he uses it as a solo masturbatory tool. He will never meet these women, will never touch these women, and it's... (read in full...)
How did I become the family villian?
Q. A question: If a kid gets punished for something they did not do, is it child abuse even if not excessive just because the kid was innocent and the parent did not believe them? I have not been on speaking terms with my mom for years for this reason. ...
A. 19 March 2015: NOO you're not a villain!! Not to the same degree, but your mom did the same thing my mother did - and that is every mother's nightmare, to make such a profound mistake in raising your child.
In your case, your mom did the wrong thing by crying t... (read in full...)
Lazy or uninterested?
Q. Are some men just lazy communicators (text, phone) rather than 'not interested'? If so, does this make them emotionally unavailable or just lazy? How does a woman bring this up with a man in the early stages of dating without looking like a clingi...
A. 18 March 2015: I do not like texting one single bit. He may be more of a man of action who prefers to be WITH you when he communicates. Texting is inefficient, and he may in fact be dyslexic or have an aversion to texting as a rule.... (read in full...)
I'm feeling really trapped in this relationship.
Q. so me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and two months and I absolutely love him to bits!! But he's overly sensitive. I feel like I've become his councillor. He is so emotionally unstable and I've tried so hard to convince him to see a ...
A. 18 March 2015: You are NOT his therapist. You are under no obligation to stay with him, and if he is emotionally blackmailing you to stay with him either by outright saying he'll harm or kill himself or by implying it, you need to leave.
He is responsi... (read in full...)
It was not my kid but I lost my girlfriend over it anyway. I'd like to get her back but am worried she'll take me to court!
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend with this skank from work that everybody slept with. She knew I had a girlfriend I loved and it was just sex. She wanted me to be with her but that would never happen. She told me she was pregnant and my world ended. My ...
A. 18 March 2015: Your ego is out of control.
You destroyed your relationship with a loving girlfriend because you wanted cheap and easy sex from a co-worker.
Co-worker wanted more than sex from you, but you just wanted to use her. You had sex with her more th... (read in full...)
He now lasts an hour and a half and I can't help him that long! Is this normal?
Q. I wondering if this was normal or not. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now. Before that he was single for 7 months. When we first started dating we fooled around every night for about a month and a half. At the beginning he woul...
A. 18 March 2015: Is he on pills like opiates, blood pressure meds, or antidepressants?? They delay or inhibit orgasm for sure.... (read in full...)
Repressed memories of abuse are coming back to me, and now I don't want my mother in my childs life
Q. When I lived at home, my mother and I were at loggerheads. She and I never got on. I was a hard teenager to deal with in fairness, my attitude was terrible, although I never did anything really bad. One time, when my mother was giving me a ...
A. 18 March 2015: I understand how you feel, with the exception of you slapping your mom. There was a lot of physical punishment/abuse that happened when I grew up, with slapping and liberal use of whatever striking object was applied to us at the time. I don't ... (read in full...)
It was not my kid but I lost my girlfriend over it anyway. I'd like to get her back but am worried she'll take me to court!
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend with this skank from work that everybody slept with. She knew I had a girlfriend I loved and it was just sex. She wanted me to be with her but that would never happen. She told me she was pregnant and my world ended. My ...
A. 17 March 2015: Oh man, if I could just copy this post for all the women who contemplate cheating with married men or men with girlfriends to show them what these guys really think of them. Why are you calling her a skank? She didn't cheat...YOU did. It's not ... (read in full...)
He now lasts an hour and a half and I can't help him that long! Is this normal?
Q. I wondering if this was normal or not. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now. Before that he was single for 7 months. When we first started dating we fooled around every night for about a month and a half. At the beginning he woul...
A. 17 March 2015: That screams "porn addict" to me. He's used to a porn level of stimulation, and he's used to his hands (or whatever he uses when he's jerking off to porn), which is why he can easily finish himself, but it takes longer with you.
If you're s... (read in full...)
How did I become the family villian?
Q. A question: If a kid gets punished for something they did not do, is it child abuse even if not excessive just because the kid was innocent and the parent did not believe them? I have not been on speaking terms with my mom for years for this reason. ...
A. 17 March 2015: We need details -
Why would you become a villain at 10, what did you do exactly that made them believe you were innocent...who was really the perpetrator, and what was your punishment??
When I was a kid, I got punished for something I didn... (read in full...)
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