What can I do? Should I meet a man who can only tolerate my much loved resucue dog?
Q. I was really looking forward to meeting a man I have have been talking online to. This morning he dropped the bombshell he would only ever"tolerate" a dog and his argument is he thinks its cruel to keep them as pets anyway. I am quite hurt as my do...
A. 10 December 2015: This is an easy one. Don't waste your time feeling hurt. His views on pets and yours are not compatible, and as such, you see it as a dealbreaker. Don't take it personally, because it's not a rejection of you or your dog.
You don't need to ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to his failure to repay me in cash for the cash I lent him?
Q. Hi.. This is not a love post but I need some honest advice. I lent to my bf $400 cash 2 months ago. He was supp osed to pay me back two weeks after. Anyway he came to me saying I can't pay you back now because so and so.. Yesterday He told me I hav...
A. 6 December 2015: Something sounds fishy.
If this is his personal credit card with a $300 limit, then march him to the bank to take out a $300 cash advance against that card. For you to accept HIS personal credit card is nothing short of fraud. He didn't put you ... (read in full...)
Can our love survive this religious zeal?
Q. My girlfriend of little over two years how now decided that she wants us to be celibate until marriage. She is a Christian and recently has taken active steps to get closer to God. I am an agnostic. I am doing my utmost to support her in her belie...
A. 4 December 2015: Spiritual beliefs play a fundamental part of a marriage. To someone who has "rededicated" her life back to God, one of the main tenets is living a chaste life. It wasn't too long ago that there were many more people who saved themselves until ... (read in full...)
Worried to 'come out' in case I'm wrong
Q. I think I'm a lesbian. I was around nine when I first heard the word, 'lesbian'. A friend slept over and we had shared the same bed. She said this made us, "lesbians". I didn't have the faintest idea what it meant, so I looked it up. My only thou...
A. 3 December 2015: I advise you to come out, but don't do it in desperation or in a rushed "I've got to do it or I'll explode!" way. This is *your* truth, and nobody else's.
My brother-in-law came out to his family, and it was pretty rough for a few years. ... (read in full...)
Can our love survive this religious zeal?
Q. My girlfriend of little over two years how now decided that she wants us to be celibate until marriage. She is a Christian and recently has taken active steps to get closer to God. I am an agnostic. I am doing my utmost to support her in her belie...
A. 2 December 2015: Before I answer your question, can you spell out your compromise in detail?... (read in full...)
Worried to 'come out' in case I'm wrong
Q. I think I'm a lesbian. I was around nine when I first heard the word, 'lesbian'. A friend slept over and we had shared the same bed. She said this made us, "lesbians". I didn't have the faintest idea what it meant, so I looked it up. My only thou...
A. 2 December 2015: I saw your age on this post, and it's clear to me that if you choose a label, it would be lesbian. And YOU ARE NORMAL! I think it's more how you perceive the word "lesbian" and it's more that you're struggling with the fact that your mom ... (read in full...)
Is 'happy birthday' too much to ask of a friend?
Q. I celebrated my birthday not long ago by going away on a short trip with a good friend. It's just that she seemed kind of off, and she didn't congratulate me on my birthday! I figured, at least she wanted to come on the trip with me, which cost h...
A. 2 December 2015: For lack of a better word, your friend is an asshat.
We congratulate friends because we care for them. We celebrate birthdays because the people we care about made the world better by being in it.
I think your friend is going through somethin... (read in full...)
I seem to be suffering from delayed ejaculation
Q. I'm 28 and I've been having sex for a decade now with different partners (not a large amount, I'm not that kind of guy) and a week ago I ended up meeting and sleeping with a new girl in Vegas. We actually hit it off really well and it turns out she ...
A. 30 November 2015: Sounds like you may have become hand-dependent.
If it doesn't take you a long time to masturbate to porn, then you don't have clinical delayed ejaculation. You're just so used to your hand and your porn-induced neural pathways that doing it "orga... (read in full...)
Do couples go through stages where they don't have sex?
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. At first, sex was great. It was passionate and it happened often. Now my boyfriend never seems to want sex. What makes me confused is that we still have great chemistry, great conversa...
A. 30 November 2015: I agree with the others on here.. I also have some advice:
The worst time to talk about having dinner is right after you've eaten. That's why on Thanksgiving (you're from the US too so it's fresh in your mind as well!), I eat very light before t... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend looking up engagement rings now?
Q. I am living with boyfriends parents to save money for a house deposit. We should have it in about 6 months time! But it will realistically be a year before we actually move out. My boyfriend has always insisted that we do not get engaged whilst u...
A. 30 November 2015: He's thinking ahead. That's one step in his plans. He most likely has a dollar figure in his mind as to moving out, AND if he's smart, he'll be saving for the ring as well as the deposit.... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose her friendship over spur of the moment sex
Q. I had sex with one of my flatmates after a drunken Halloween party last month and I fear it’s destroyed our friendship. I’m 20, she’s 21. We live in a halls of residence flat at university with 4 other students, and are in our second year. We’ve ...
A. 30 November 2015: She could be feeling a lot of things. I would NOT go to her and say "That was incredible" because there is a chance she's pissed at you. She may feel like you took advantage of her drunken state, or at least took advantage by not using ... (read in full...)
I like him so much but my head says no
Q. I've just got into a new relationship and we made it official. We've been together for 5 weeks but I'm feeling it's not right. I'm feeling more like a handbag used when needed. In the 5 weeks we've been together we've seen each other once. He has ...
A. 27 November 2015: I'm drop him like a bad habit. No games or hard-to-get. Forget that!
Five weeks into a new relationship and there should be butterflies in both of your stomachs, lots of dates, lots of talking, and the thrill and sheer euphoria of a new relation... (read in full...)
I'm turned on but can't orgasm - what can I do?
Q. I'll try to keep this short. Basically over a month ago me and my girlfriend decided to have sex whilst I was staying over on the weekend but unfortunately we had to stop because she was feeling sore down there after only a few minutes. Ever since ...
A. 27 November 2015: You've got performance anxiety. If you're worried about being too quick, then one thing you can do to get over the initial block is to finish her before you enter her. This means that when it's time for you to penetrate, she's already had hers, and ... (read in full...)
A 10-year friendship ended for no good reason
Q. Is it possible for a friendship that lasted over 10years to suddenly end for no particular reason? Not really sure what I'm asking here just wondered if anyone else has experienced the same? Can shed any wisdom for me? I'm talking about a best ...
A. 26 November 2015: Ahhh, that makes a *lot* more sense to me, and I was 2/3rds right, but you being a direct love interest was the part I was wrong about.
However, I have good news for you! I actually think your friendship is better than salvageable. I've see... (read in full...)
A 10-year friendship ended for no good reason
Q. Is it possible for a friendship that lasted over 10years to suddenly end for no particular reason? Not really sure what I'm asking here just wondered if anyone else has experienced the same? Can shed any wisdom for me? I'm talking about a best ...
A. 25 November 2015: That's what happens all too often when the friend and the love interest tangle. I know it's an ex now, but I've seen even long-term friendships blow up because of this.
She and this ex have an unhealthy relationship, bordering on co-depen... (read in full...)
The father rejected our son, and his mother isn't interested either
Q. Hi everyone. I have a problem. Yesterday i went shopping with my son who is 4 years old, i saw my son grandma which is his dads mother for the first time. I approached her because i recognise her from Facebook. I told her who I was and she asked me ...
A. 25 November 2015: I think you need to start protecting your son better than you're doing right now. Here's the problem on two fronts:
1. Your son is 4 years old. Conversations with grandma about how his dad keeps rejecting him can scar him. He's listenin... (read in full...)
I have a lesbian crush on my boss. Should I tell her?
Q. I have a lesbian crush on my boss. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years after coming out as gay, so she does know I'm into women. I have a feeling she may be into women as well, she has never spoken of a boyfriend and in past ...
A. 23 November 2015: I think work is where you keep things professional. Gay or straight, your job is your livelihood, and you do your job and that's that. I wouldn't have even suggested getting so personal with your boss about your sexuality with the long story about ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lives with his child's mother!
Q. To begin, my boyfriend and I have not been together long. I really care about him! I have two children and at first I thought he only had one. When we are together it's great and when we are not together things are also great. He will spend 95% of ...
A. 23 November 2015: Yep. I knew it because I've seen it. I knew someone who called his wife his "on-again off-again live-in girlfriend". He never told anyone that he was still married to her, that she had no idea of the "off-again" aspect, and that she was pregnant ... (read in full...)
Ladies: Would it bother you if the guy rarely called and acted like he really didn't care if he seen you or not?
Q. Does it bother you girls, you been seeing a guy for four months, and if he doesn't call or tex, for a couple days, an only has time to see you, once a week even though you live in the same, small town, but when you are together, its fantastic, but ...
A. 20 November 2015: Each relationship is different. If I was with a guy who was insanely busy with work or finals or med school or he was deployed as a soldier, then it would make sense, because schedules are tight.
The point isn't to keep a record of how many tim... (read in full...)
She I forgive her and resume our relationship, which is what she wants?
Q. So I have a issue and I need some help from people with experience. My girlfriend and I of 5 years split up for a few months and she ended up sleeping with someone else during this time. Now she wants to get back together but idk how to handle t...
A. 19 November 2015: She never cheated on you! What "forgiving" needs to be done?? If you didn't want her to sleep with another guy, you should have never broken up with her in the first place, and that's that. For all intents and purposes, you were the kid in the ... (read in full...)
Worried I'll lose him. Why did he wait to tell me about her pregnancy?
Q. am 21years old i met this guy when i was still at primary school due to our relationship my mother got the romours about our relationship and my mum vacant to another area far from where we were living , IT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO COMMUNICATE WITH HIM ...
A. 19 November 2015: I know exactly why he hid this pregnancy thing.
You've been with this guy for 3 months. She is 8 months pregnant. He was either completely dense to that fact, or he intentionally left her when she was pregnant.
If he didn't know about it, t... (read in full...)
She keeps asking to borrow money. Now I just want to distance myself from her. What can you suggest?
Q. I'm not sure how to get out of this situation and need some advice please. About 3 -4 months ago a work colleague asked me if she could borrow £20 as another colleague in the office had a birthday and had invited us all out to dinner but my co...
A. 19 November 2015: You need to be straight with her and tell her directly that you're not a bank, and that you're done lending money to her. Don't make excuses. Don't placate her. Don't feel threatened. Don't be afraid. If she makes it a hostile work environment, ... (read in full...)
I was told I have a weird way of kissing?
Q. backstory, I'm fairly recently out of my first long term relationship with the first guy I had ever kissed. Anyway, I figured I knew what I was doing. Guess not, cause I just made out with someone and they said I had a weird way of kissing, we j...
A. 18 November 2015: Ahh, that makes sense why you kiss weird...you had an ex who was a HORRIBLE kisser! Like Yoda says, you must UNLEARN what you learned with him.... (read in full...)
I was told I have a weird way of kissing?
Q. backstory, I'm fairly recently out of my first long term relationship with the first guy I had ever kissed. Anyway, I figured I knew what I was doing. Guess not, cause I just made out with someone and they said I had a weird way of kissing, we j...
A. 18 November 2015: Here's another one, OP. I love visual aids. The one you describe as doing, they call the "spin cycle".
Hopefully this is an eye opener for you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKvHQ5l8iXw... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lives with his child's mother!
Q. To begin, my boyfriend and I have not been together long. I really care about him! I have two children and at first I thought he only had one. When we are together it's great and when we are not together things are also great. He will spend 95% of ...
A. 18 November 2015: You're the "other woman". You're the "mistress". You're the "strange on the side". There's nothing EX about this woman he's living with, or he woudn't have de-activated his Facebook. If it were just a residual living situation and she knew he ... (read in full...)
We spend alot of time together but never overnight. Should I be worried?
Q. Hi, I have met a great guy 13 years younger than me. We speak on the phone 2-3 times everyday, meet up 3-4 times a week. we met approx 4 months ago, have had a couple weekends away more planned and a holiday in 3 months time. we spend a lot of g...
A. 18 November 2015: I fully agree with Honeypie! 4 months is a brand new relationship, and many people aren't even calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend at this time, much less spending family holidays together!
Also, given your age and his age, the age differen... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking or did he just use me for sex?
Q. Hey everyone so i started talking to this guy awhile ago we have hung out a total of 4 times. he seemed like a really nice guy he was always telling me im beautiful or pretty and he said that he really likes me. Friday i stayed the night with him ...
A. 18 November 2015: I think what you just did was blow up your relationship.
He still wanted to talk to you and hang out with you after Friday, and you used Facebook to be passive-aggressive. Not cool. The "crazy kid status" means he was calling your reaction... (read in full...)
Should I pay an escort to go on a date with me?
Q. I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or kissed a girl ever. I live alone. I have a big collection of films and film memorabilia. I'm very shy. Partially due to my obesity, and that lots of girls in high school and college would say I was ...
A. 18 November 2015: You should save your money for a therapist instead. Escorts are fake, and you'd be no closer to connecting with a girl than you are now. ... (read in full...)
I was told I have a weird way of kissing?
Q. backstory, I'm fairly recently out of my first long term relationship with the first guy I had ever kissed. Anyway, I figured I knew what I was doing. Guess not, cause I just made out with someone and they said I had a weird way of kissing, we j...
A. 18 November 2015: "Normally I stick my tounge in just a tiny bit and move it side to side, obviously pulling out every now and again"
THAT is what you're doing wrong for starters! Side to side?? Yikes! French kissing is like a dance, not just poke the tongue o... (read in full...)
In over a year he has never said the "L" word. Is he emotionally unavailable?
Q. I've been seeing a guy from over a year. I travel hours to see him as often as I can, and he does the same. We message daily. After all this time he has never said he loves me. When the topic is brought up, he says he doesn't and if I badger him it ...
A. 18 November 2015: Leave him. It's a power play with him.
It's amazing how a guy can get away with this for a year, yet if the OP were to tell him that she would never touch him, have sex with him, go down on him, or any of that, he'd have been gone long before a... (read in full...)
Feeling shattered that my Bf has been talking to his ex for 4 weeks. What can I do?
Q. I am really disappointed with what I found out yesterday im not really the jealous type but this lie has me broken!i Found out that my boyfriend has been talking to his ex for about 4 weeks now and no I did not snoop into his phone to find that out...
A. 17 November 2015: He *definitely* broke your trust, and you should stay broken up with him. It's a relief you caught this before marriage and children and living together.
Listen, I'm talking to you, OP, but I'm also talking to everyone who reads this site:
... (read in full...)
Why did he completely ignore me? He even tried to hide his face, why?
Q. So there's this guy, I have been hooking up with him for a while now and we talk on and off. So I saw him today at school and he was sitting with his friend chilling. I think he had just worked out. He saw me but I didn't see him. My friend...
A. 17 November 2015: You said you're "hooking up" with him?
I'd guess that there's someone else he's also "hooking up" with, or she was somewhere in that same room.
Either way, unless you're in middle school (which your age suggests you aren't), I'd be surprised... (read in full...)
Feeling very protective about her. How can I make sure that she feels the same way I do emotionally?
Q. ok so for the past 5months my gf and i have been going out. It started off ok and is better now but see im an overly protective guy so i dont like it when shes with other guys, even if they're my friends, because i just cant risk losing her to some ...
A. 17 November 2015: You need to drop the notion that she can't think for herself. She is most likely maturing faster than you are! If anything, she's more in touch with how she feels than you are how you feel, so don't say that she just said yes because you're her ... (read in full...)
Should I lose weight to attract women?
Q. Hello. I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or kissed a girl. I'm pretty overweight and I know this a contributor. I haven't asked out many girls before because I feel they'll just say no. A guy who's in shape and muscled up is of course ...
A. 16 November 2015: Losing weight is only the tip of the iceberg, and as many girls with eating disorders have unfortunately and in some cases, tragically found out, just being thin should never be the goal.
You need to be the HEALTHIEST you that you can possibly... (read in full...)
Feeling very protective about her. How can I make sure that she feels the same way I do emotionally?
Q. ok so for the past 5months my gf and i have been going out. It started off ok and is better now but see im an overly protective guy so i dont like it when shes with other guys, even if they're my friends, because i just cant risk losing her to some ...
A. 16 November 2015: Let's get to the point:
You are *NOT* being protective. You have *NEVER* been protective of her.
What you are is TERRITORIAL, like a dog who has a bone and snarls whenever another dog who looks like he wants to take that bone comes around. Y... (read in full...)
Has my wife had an affair?
Q. Well to cut it short basically im married and have been for 5 years. One day my wife left my house as she says she was getting a few bits and peices from the shop and yet was gone 3 hours. On return she couldnt wait to get out the house to go to ...
A. 16 November 2015: It probably IS a yeast infection or something else hormonal, because honestly, we HAVE the ability to clean ourselves of semen! Unless your wife has an IQ of 10, if she were cheating, cleaning semen would be easy as pie!
You need to back off of h... (read in full...)
He hangs up on me when he thinks I'm asking stupid questions and now he's broken things off
Q. Hi there's this guy I been dating for a month, recently the last few days whatever I say annoys him he hangs up on me when he believes I'm asking a stupid question when I don't think I am. So yesterday he thought I asked stupid question when all ...
A. 16 November 2015: You're not in limbo. You and he are *over*. You'll never get back together. He is a complete asshat.
What are you supposed to think? That he is not worth the human waste you flushed down the toilet this morning.
What are you supposed to ... (read in full...)
Online dating: When men say they do NOT want kids at 30, are they likely to change their mind later?
Q. Hi All Recently I decided to take the plunge into the scary world of online dating. I didn't know what I would find or if it would work for me (at present, it hasnt - mainly old men, people who are uneducated and those looking for a 'good time'). ...
A. 14 November 2015: Never assume a guy will change his mind, especially at age 30. Find a guy who values having a family of his own. They are out there! It's not true that guys check that off just because they are afraid of commitment.
Will a guy who says he doesn... (read in full...)
I'll be 40 in 2 years and have nothing to show for it! I'm unhappy!
Q. A friend of mine (former classmate) sent me an invitation for the opening of her exhibition. I was happy for her and at the same time felt so small. Ever since we graduated (I’m much older than her) I haven’t done anything worth mentioni...
A. 14 November 2015: What, in your mind, would be you "showing for it"? I don't ask you this question rhetorically. I'm genuinely asking you. In your mind, where would you be that would define you as being where you want to be? Because approaching your age, ... (read in full...)
I want commitment from him. Am I making the right moves to ensure this happens?
Q. I met with my first love after breaking up over 20 years ago. I had not seen him for 15 yrs. He invited me out and then again a few months later. On both occasions we talked and talked. On the second we talked and talked about what caused t...
A. 12 November 2015: You did the wrong thing.
Here's why: You can't try to get him to commit because YOU can't commit. You're cheating on your husband/partner with this guy! You said you're not ended with your current relationship, and if you're saying you have a f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a threesome after watching my friend and I drunkenly make out
Q. Earlier this year I got pregnant. I didnt know I was pregnant at the time and had a surgery. Because of this, the doctors said there was a 50/50 chance something would be wrong with the baby cos of all the drugs, morphine etc but they could not be ...
A. 10 November 2015: Let's get the big issue out of the way:
You didn't cheat on your boyfriend, and any guilt you feel that may cause you to feel obligated about granting your bf's wishes OR looking the other way while he cheats on you is unwarranted.
In fact... (read in full...)
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