Any ideas on how to liven up the sex life with my older boyfriend? He says he is far too old for sex!
Q. I am 45 and my boyfriend is 57 and been with him 4 months and everything at first was fine until he kept on saying that he is too old for this too old for that and sex is soo boring that I am not surprised that I have not fallen asleep during it any ...
A. 17 September 2015: The first question that hit my mind was - what medication is he on? Blood pressure, antidepressants, opioids, all of them suck the sex life out the window.
That's a toughie when it's 4 months in and he's saying that sex is boring. You may have... (read in full...)
Why is my ex still friends with this guy after he hit on me but yet can't be friends with me?
Q. I work at a local pharmacy as a cashier and my ex and his friend go there from time to time. It makes me uncomfortable that they are there. My ex doesn't go in because he is banned from the store (because he stole something before we started ...
A. 16 September 2015: It's pretty simple, and pretty stupid, the reason why.
The person who came between them is no longer between them.
Since you're not in their world, their friendship can continue. However, don't think for a moment that it's the SAME friendship.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend used to be so appreciative and now nothing seems to matter to him
Q. This afternoon, my boyfriend texted me a video of his sister and nieces and nephews singing Happy Birthday to his mom. I love his mom and she is super nice to me. Once I saw that video, I went online to order his mom a $80 USD fruit basket to be de...
A. 16 September 2015: I'm a bit confused. Was the fruit basket a gift to his mother as a gesture of love towards her, or was it something you did for appreciation FROM her and him?
There's a big distinction.
You gave the basket to his mom, not to him. Why are yo... (read in full...)
Am I stretching it too much by not taking recommendations?
Q. Hello dear cupids, I am 24 yr old girl. I have completed my masters degree in life sciences. But after many trials and interviews I am still unemployed for 2 years. I don't want to take references and recommendations as I believe in my own ability. ...
A. 16 September 2015: You are SELF-SABOTAGING your job chances. In over 75% of success involving good jobs in line with your career, it's WHO YOU KNOW that gets you there. It's not a slight to your ability that you use connections or references. In fact, think of it ... (read in full...)
Is this normal behavior for a 5 year relationship?
Q. Been in a 5 year relationship with my girlfreind soon to be wife (now not so sure) She is a good girl and perfect gf iv had in a while, but there seems to be just one problem, her emotional and verbal physical abuse towards me when she feels ...
A. 16 September 2015: Guy, I know you don't want to hear this, but your fiance is a CHEATER. I'm thinking she's a serial cheater, and she's using the common technique of blowing up at you and starting psycho fights to keep you off of her trail.
Logically, what OTH... (read in full...)
My friend got my 19 year old niece pregnant! Should I be mad at my friend and drop him?
Q. I am a 44 year old man and have a 34 year olf friend. He recently me my niece through me and had sex with her now she pregnant. She is 19 and very immature and unprepared for the real world. her father, (my brother) doesn't care and her mother ...
A. 15 September 2015: This is a tough one. You are justified in how you feel. It feels like this guy took advantage of your friendship and acted like a total cad with this girl, and you're absolutely right.
The only thing I have to say on this is - she's 19, making h... (read in full...)
Boyfriend admitted that he's attracted to another woman but says it ends there and has no feelings for her. Do I believe him?
Q. My boyfriend (not sure what to call him right now) have been dating for over a year now. We have had our ups and downs but have a lot of love for each other. I just broke up with him last week because I found out that 8 months ago he had a crush o...
A. 15 September 2015: If there's a breakup, where is there an incentive to "work on his shit"? That would be like working at a job, getting fired from the job, and post-firing, the boss expecting the ex-employee to take a certification for the job the employee used to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend admitted that he's attracted to another woman but says it ends there and has no feelings for her. Do I believe him?
Q. My boyfriend (not sure what to call him right now) have been dating for over a year now. We have had our ups and downs but have a lot of love for each other. I just broke up with him last week because I found out that 8 months ago he had a crush o...
A. 15 September 2015: Here's the thing - you broke up with him! He didn't pursue the girl until you dropped him. That's precisely why taking so-called "breaks" never work. You say that my idea of "true love" is sad? So is breaking up!! If love is true, there's never ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend admitted that he's attracted to another woman but says it ends there and has no feelings for her. Do I believe him?
Q. My boyfriend (not sure what to call him right now) have been dating for over a year now. We have had our ups and downs but have a lot of love for each other. I just broke up with him last week because I found out that 8 months ago he had a crush o...
A. 15 September 2015: I think you just wrecked your own relationship.
What are you doing by searching his internet history? He didn't do anything wrong in looking her up. He was pretty honest in admitting a crush. Those can happen even inside a marriage! People g... (read in full...)
What are your options in a situation where you do everything you can for your spouse yet it is never enough?
Q. what are your options to a situation where you do everything you can for your spouse yet it is never enough? I have a job outside the home 4 months out of the year and the other 8 months I stay home. Even when I am working I take on the total care ...
A. 15 September 2015: I don't like name calling, and I'm only saying it because I hope it stirs you to action, but...
You're a coward when it comes to him.
You'd rather do everything for him and break down in private rather than demand he step up in the house.
Y... (read in full...)
Is he just making jokey conversation or is he expressing interest about wanting to talk about it more with the innuendo and winking?
Q. I am in my early 40s and on facebook the other day I messaged an old ex of mine who I am friends with on there. The comment was simply about spiders (as I hate them) and I remembered about staying at his house 20 years ago in his room and told him ...
A. 15 September 2015: Either one. It was a double entendree.
But if he's married or has someone else in his life, leave it alone. Too many mistakes get made on social media due to nostalgia and wanting to escape the life of today.... (read in full...)
Is this what men are really like in their thoughts and feelings?
Q. I have only had one bf before and I'm just really confused if it is my lack of experience or in fact, what men are. My new bf been with him for over a year. We live together and he tells me how I'm perfect and how much he loves me and wants to be ...
A. 15 September 2015: I'm so glad Tisha said this, because I was thinking it all throughout your post:
He's not being honest. He is GROOMING you to accept his cheating on you or accept his pressure on you to engage in an open relationship.
There are a lot of guy... (read in full...)
He tells me to stop moaning! Help me out, I need advice, everybody tell me what to do!
Q. Just started dating a guy Ive known 20yrs cos he been asking me out for ever and said I mean whole world to him. Hes a lovely guy and I thought life’s getting better. But now we together, he works away and never texts me, except every 3 days ...
A. 14 September 2015: Get away from this abusive, cheating, train-wreck of a man. ... (read in full...)
Was this girl a virgin?
Q. Was this girl a virgin? This may seem like an odd question, but I assure you that the answer is important to me (I won’t get into the reasons why it is important). I have my opinion of the answer, but I’m “just a guy”. I would be very grateful fo...
A. 14 September 2015: I couldn't ever answer definitively, but I very highly doubt it.
For most women, losing virginity is a momentous thing, and on a first date for her to head straight to being sexual as a VIRGIN is something not to be seen unless she was blackout... (read in full...)
Liars and hypocrites? Why am I feeling short changed by the last six girls I've dated?
Q. Why are all women the same? The past six girls I've dated have left me short changed metaphorically. It's constantly something that's wrong which leads them to just use me then leave. I do all the right things that I believe should be done as a man ...
A. 14 September 2015: You've got some emotional baggage that wasn't entirely created by girls. Some was your upbringing, which despite the religious words, instills some "better than the world" elitism mixed with lots of fear and self-hate and self-doubt. You don't ... (read in full...)
What happened to change his mind ? My LDR broke up with me after we met in person.
Q. I was in a long distance relationship for around 10 months but we've known each other for a year. We met on an online game we play. We started as just gaming buddies but then over a couple months we got to know each other, we called and video ...
A. 14 September 2015: There are only two reasons here, and I'm gravitating greatly towards my gut instinct.
When you were there for 4 days, did the two of you have sex?
If the answer is YES, then it's obvious that you were a conquest. They usually draw out longer ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my backstabbing friend?
Q. How do I get over my backstabbing friend? We were friends to start with and then she started flirting with this guy I know who was friends with me too. At first it was all done lightheartedly, but then bit by bit she started to cause trouble be...
A. 14 September 2015: She's an idiot who saw you as a threat instead of as a friend. She then decided to undermine you because she wants you to stay away.
Let me tell you what your ultimate vindication will be:
She's CONTROLLING. She's going to soon do that wit... (read in full...)
Liars and hypocrites? Why am I feeling short changed by the last six girls I've dated?
Q. Why are all women the same? The past six girls I've dated have left me short changed metaphorically. It's constantly something that's wrong which leads them to just use me then leave. I do all the right things that I believe should be done as a man ...
A. 14 September 2015: Well, hold on for a minute. I saw your post earlier and debated on whether to jump in, and the fact that you're following up makes it worthwhile.
You didn't give me enough to go on here. The only thing I know is that you've uncovered a pattern.... (read in full...)
How do I speed things up sexually with my girlfriend?
Q. I have a problem on my hands. A bi dude asked me if I wanted him to suck my dick. I replied I'm not sure, because I am already dating a girl. Honestly, I want my first sexual experience to be with a girl, but my girlfriend takes things slow,and were ...
A. 14 September 2015: Yeah, sex generally happens when it's long been decided that there is no one else on the planet that you would be "not sure" you'd let perform a sexual act on you.
"Bisexual" doesn't mean simultaneous.... (read in full...)
Technique? I prefer being on top just before I orgasm. My new guy objects
Q. Never thought I was bad at being on top (straight female, early 30s), as I've had my share of experience with it, and have definitely had some fun with it (such as a past partner and I cumming at the same time while I've been on top). I'm with ...
A. 13 September 2015: It's pretty obvious what's going on here. It's also fixable, so I'm optimistic about it.
In sex, there's never "I, me, him, he". It's "we". No one engages in a dance where both people leads with their own dance steps at different rhythms.... (read in full...)
Is there a way to know for sure when a girl has an orgasm?
Q. I would like to know if it’s posible to tell when a girl has had an orgasm and how noticable it is. I’ve heard that lots of women use to fake orgasms, and I find it embarrassing to ask if they had one. I don’t have problems with mine, it’s simple to ...
A. 12 September 2015: Three things I can tell you:
1. Don't ask a woman to tell you when she's coming! When it's happening to YOU, are you in the frame of mind to have a conversation at the moment, or are all your senses going OMFG?? If she is able to TELL you righ... (read in full...)
How should I tell my new boyfriend about my breast deformity?
Q. This is very embarrassing, but I have tuberous breast deformity. It means my breast don't look normal and did not develop properly. My case is severe. You can research it if you are unsure of the condition. My breast are very small and odd tr...
A. 9 September 2015: They DO correct breast deformities. You have to build the case of the surgery being constructive to heal a defect rather than a cosmetic augmentation. You have to start with your primary care provider signing off on a referral with a proper ... (read in full...)
How should I tell my new boyfriend about my breast deformity?
Q. This is very embarrassing, but I have tuberous breast deformity. It means my breast don't look normal and did not develop properly. My case is severe. You can research it if you are unsure of the condition. My breast are very small and odd tr...
A. 9 September 2015: I've been on here for 5 years, and I've never shared what I'm about to say to you, but I can't in good conscience not help you out on this one.
I was born without a right pectoral muscle. As a result, I have only one natural breast. The nipp... (read in full...)
I am embarressed I can't get a boyfriend.
Q. Hey aunts I think for the first time in my life I'm getting jealous of other people's relationships. I'm 24 and had 1 boyfriend and I'm extremely embarrassed by it. I know that having a boyfriend isn't all of that but my relationship only lasted 5...
A. 7 September 2015: You need to work on being approachable. Part of that has to do with the emotional candle, even a faint one, that you still burn for your ex. That's why guys think you're in a long-term relationship, because those are the vibes you're giving off.
... (read in full...)
His looking up his ex is a problem in our relationship
Q. My boyfriend looks up his ex when he's having a rough day. We've had problems relating to her before and it has made me insecure so sometimes I snoop. I trust him and I know he's not going to hook up with her or anything but I worry about what this ...
A. 5 September 2015: You can't trust your boyfriend and then snoop on him. Snooping is a violation of trust - his in you that you respect his privacy, and no person who trusts their partner snoops on them.
I couldn't agree with WiseOwle more! You are trying for a ba... (read in full...)
I got back from a trip to find another man's pair of underwear in my bed. Do I believe my wife's story?
Q. came home from a week long trip found a pair of men's underwear in my bed that weren't mine. Was told they got mixed in laundry and got there when she made the bed. What's the answer? ...
A. 3 September 2015: The "mixed in laundry" would only be possible if she goes to a laundromat outside the house. I'm guessing that grabbed them quickly after you confronted her.
It's more possible that the man she was in bed with kicked them off in bed, and went... (read in full...)
I hit my wife. What can I do now to make her realize that I'm sorry?
Q. I need help. My wife and I have been in heated arguments near the beginning of our marriage (we're going on 6 years) which led to abuse. Both physical and emotional. I love her to death and can't imagine ever losing her, she is the best thing t...
A. 3 September 2015: Do you honestly think that mere words are enough?? Your words to her became utterly and completely worthless the moment you hit her. You think that saying "I'll never do it again" are any sort of solution?! Sounds like you've hit her before if ... (read in full...)
I need advice about my daughter's boyfriend please ?
Q. Hi there, I need advice please about my daughter's boyfriend. First of all, a bit of background info. re. my daughter. We now have no family at all - no aunts, uncles, grandfather's etc. No one. It has been this way for many years and, before t...
A. 3 September 2015: He *is* good to her. And he *has* been respectful of you. I've seen guys on here who mistreated their girlfriend's parents, and this guy isn't one of them. He isn't barring your daughter from seeing you. He isn't calling you a psycho like some ... (read in full...)
He's showing no interest whatever in wedding planning
Q. What to do if he's stopped showing interest in planning the wedding? After two years in a long distance relationship, my fiance and I are finally living together(we've been engaged over a year)-going on three weeks. We have both been busy gett...
A. 2 September 2015: My husband wasn't really big on planning the wedding either. He was all about planning the honeymoon afterward and focused on where we were going to live after we got married (we didn't live together beforehand). He was in on who we were inviting, ... (read in full...)
I love my wife but struggle to get an erection. Yet I do get aroused when looking at other women. Is this normal?
Q. I love my wife. But after turning 50 about six month's ago, I am struggling to have and to maintain an erection when with her. But other women still give me embarrassing erections even in non-intimate situations? Is that normal?...
A. 2 September 2015: Lay off the porn!
Some guys can't have an orgasm from sexual intercourse because they've gotten desensitized to the grip of their hand, and since that's more stimulus than a vagina and less effort, many guys find they can't finish through intercou... (read in full...)
Men, what would you like your girlfriend to text you?
Q. Guy I'm dating likes to text me hello, asks about my day or what I'm up to or follow up questions and to make plans for when we see each other next. However, it is usually always him who initiates the texting. He has questioned why I never text him...
A. 2 September 2015: Text that you're thinking about him. Easy as pie, and if your guy is getting upset about you not texting, that's really what he's insecure about - that you're not thinking about him when you're apart.
... (read in full...)
My guy is addicted to his phone. Am I overreacting? Is phone addiction normal with guys?
Q. My hubby is addicted to his phone. He is either on fb(mainly political stuff) or playing games or watching cricket. It annoys me to the core sometimes. Even when we sit down for coffee in the morning he can't keep his eyes off the phone. I have sn...
A. 1 September 2015: Heh, in the late 90's, the phenomenon of internet addiction was the subject of a lot of news stories and editorials. Had this been the 80's, you might have been complaining that your husband might have sat next to you watching television, which was ... (read in full...)
I need advice about my daughter's boyfriend please ?
Q. Hi there, I need advice please about my daughter's boyfriend. First of all, a bit of background info. re. my daughter. We now have no family at all - no aunts, uncles, grandfather's etc. No one. It has been this way for many years and, before t...
A. 1 September 2015: I'm going to be honest with you, because I read your post carefully and see a common thread through the entire thing. I think you need to look at him in a different light. He's good for your daughter, works hard, makes a good life for her, he's ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend found out I cheated while messed up and ended things. Will I ever be able to make him forgive me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together three years and we got engaged last year. We then went through a rocky patch, but then things were great again. Until two nights ago when I ruined everything. I was at a rave, and was off my face and took a ...
A. 1 September 2015: Like others have said - you may not feel like it, but it could have been a whole lot worse. You could have died of alcohol poisoning or drug overdose, or been robbed, raped, impregnated, or contracted an STI.
If you were in his position, and a fr... (read in full...)
My Mother's said she's a married man's mistress. How can I respond and preserve our mother-daughter relationship?
Q. Dear Cupid, My mother told me recently she has been a mistress to a married man for the last 5 years. She got involved with him when my dad was terminally ill and told me about it after he passed away. She is still seeing him and wants to ...
A. 30 August 2015: That's a tough one. I'm sure it rocked your world to hear that your mom started the relationship before your father died. I have no doubt that your emotions about all of this are really complicated. I'm really sorry about the loss of your father, ... (read in full...)
I'm resenting my husband's decision. How do I get over it?
Q. How do I stop resenting my husband? My husband was offered a job that would move us back to where my family are. His pay was increased by 6k but because of the tax rate we were only going to see a 1k increase a year. I wanted him to take it so I ...
A. 29 August 2015: I may have a different opinion about this issue, but unless the decision was TO relocate across state and it would have impacted a spouse's career, I think the ultimate decision should rest with the person who actually HAS the job. There are two ... (read in full...)
She used me when she was bi-curious. I want her, she doesn't want me. What can I do? I feel so lonely.
Q. Could be long. This has been ongoing for 3 months now and it's getting worse, not better. This girl used me as she was bi-curious and I fell for her. She doesn't want me, I want her. I can't just be friends with her but I don't wanna stop talking ...
A. 28 August 2015: Yeah, she sure did use you. I'm so sorry that happened to you. You have to stop trying to kiss her or even touch he in any way. In fact, you have to do the OPPOSITE of what you feel like doing.
For example, you're feeling like you can't li... (read in full...)
Can I still trust my partner? I'm in turmoil and have doubts since I saw a message on his phone.
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I saw a message on my finance phone whom I have been in a relationship with for the last 4 years which as really upset me. The message were between him and his friend and said along the line of shall we have a threesom...
A. 27 August 2015: You should be in turmoil about violating your boyfriend's privacy. You should not go snooping on people's phones! That's a violation of trust, and you went digging through messages on there. Getting into a relationship with someone doesn't ... (read in full...)
I can't shake the dream I had about arguing with my girlfriend's father and then hitting her in the face
Q. Last night I had a horrible dream that I was arguing with my girlfriend's father, and at the end of the argument I seem to remember hitting my girlfriend in the face (I don't know if it was intentional or accidental, but frightening nonetheless!). ...
A. 27 August 2015: I don't often say this, but I'm pretty sure I know exactly what your dream means, especially after reading your entire post twice.
Before I tell you what it means, let me tell you what it DOESN'T mean: It does not mean that you have ingrown ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a problem with me having a male surgeon
Q. I think my bf is overreacting on a simple issue. I ought to have a surgery on my breast in few weeks time. The surgeon is a male. I have no problem with the gender of this surgeon. Surprisingly my bf said he doesn't like the idea of him being a male ...
A. 26 August 2015: Your boyfriend needs to GET OVER IT. If he loves you, he'd be more interested in getting the best surgeon regardless of gender. A surgery is always a TEAM, not just a surgeon. I had 10 people in the room when I had my kidney transplant. Believe ... (read in full...)
My B/f said, "'not to sound rude but you have a lot of stretch marks baby maybe you should do something about them"
Q. I've been with a man for almost a year and only recently been sexually active with him. He recently made a comment 'not to sound rude but you have a lot of stretch marks baby maybe you should do something about them' I told them they are all ...
A. 25 August 2015: Your boyfriend is an idiot.
Stretch marks are genetic for the most part, and even the most fit and muscular thin women can get them simply by having breasts and DEFINITELY by getting pregnant. Even the most expensive surgical options are painful,... (read in full...)
| *ouWish's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ouWish has
added them and they have added *ouWish!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
