A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey, what do you think about the need for sexting? Me and my bf have been together 18 months, I know he sexted previous gfs and hook ups, even exchanging nude photos with one girl, but he doesn't do this with me :( He'll sometimes go as far as saying he wants to kiss me, but that's it, which is very tame compared to what he said to girls previously. He says I'm his longest relationship and that he wants us to have a future together, which is great :) And our sex life is amazing. But, it just makes me wonder: can someone who previously used sexting live without it? Is is addictive? Should I be worried that he may seek sexting thrills elsewhere??
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 There is no "need" for sexting. Sexting isn't an addiction. It's not a drug you get hooked on. Either he's sexting, or he isn't, but there is never any "need" to do it.
I think him not doing it with you just shows that he respects you and takes you seriously. But how do you know about the texts he sent to other girls?
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 Sexting is what you take when you don't have a real relationship like he does now. He has sex and a person in his life who he gets to see often and who he knows will be there for him. He doesn't need naked pics and dirty messages so he can get off because he has so much more now.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (8 July 2012):
You shouldn’t compare relationships! Each one is different, and if all else is well in your relationship, and you enjoy a satisfying sex life together, you really shouldn’t be at all concerned that he’s lost interest in sexting. Perhaps he’s just grown up and matured, and believes that typing out a risqué message on a phone is no substitute for real, loving sex with the person he’s in love with. This could be his way of taking your relationship much more seriously than his previous relationships, which is a good thing. There’s no evidence that sexting is addictive, or that some-one who does it with one partner will naturally want to do it again with a new partner. Stop worrying about it.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): It's nothing like that, different people have different things in relationships. Just because you don't do things that he did in previous relationships doesn't mean anything.
Has he ever asked you to sext with him? No, the how can you for even one second thinks he misses it after 18 months?
OP stop looking for issues when there aren't any, or if there are real issues then fix those but you're acting insecure and worried about something that really doesn't matter. The sex is amazing afterall so why would he miss sexting, maybe he sexted those girls because that's all he really got from them and the sex wasn't all that frequent, or maybe that's all it was about, who knows, it's not an issue, so stop worrying about it.
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