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... Send *etilicious a private message | | | *etilicious's profile:What "qualifies" me to help people? Nothing really, I haven't gone to school for therapy and I'm no Dr. Phil. However, I do know what's wrong and what's right, so I think my advice is pretty freaking awesome. Kind of like grape snow cones and giraffes.
I live in what most people of America would call hell. Ohio. I find it awesome, I don't need a palm tree and anal douchebags who tan their man boobs on the beach all day.
I don't know, reading other people's problems and giving them some sort of advice makes me feel good in a way, perhaps this will be a hobby that replaces my deep love of crack cocaine.
Also, I'm sarcastic. Some people like it, others hate it. Overall I'm a lot like a monkey. Slightly mean and sneaky, but once you get past the poop throwing I'm fucking adorable. |
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Girl has the attention of both of us and we're best friends
Q. Hi everyone, I'm currently a student and I'm stuck in a really delicate situation, I like a girl that a good friend has liked for a while but he can't get it rite.... I have had a thing for her for the past few years, but there has never been a...
A. 17 April 2011: Well that's good news. How was the wedding?... (read in full...)
Should I just slip this guy my phone number?
Q. So there is a guy at work (typical start I know) who is really cute and I'm interested in. He comes in every Tuesday for music and I will admit I've spoken maybe 4 or 5 words at the most to him-mostly because I don't really get an opportunity to ...
A. 6 April 2011: Well I hope everything works out awesomely. I deff want to know if he calls!... (read in full...)
Whenever I ring or text my girlfriend these days, I just get short, blunt answers...
Q. Whenever I ring or text my girlfriend these days, I just get blunt answers. Before the last few days I was getting really lovely texts and phonecalls from her, as if she was really eager to hear from me and was really chatty. But it doesn't feel lik...
A. 6 April 2011: Maybe she's having family issues or something happened back home to put her in a bad mood. Maybe she's on her period. Maybe she hasn't been getting enough sleep lately. Maybe she misses you so much that she's sad about having to wait until the ... (read in full...)
A boy was staring at me at a party...It probably meant nothing...Am I overthinking this?
Q. I met this boy a few days ago through a friend. I went to his house after school with my friend, and throughout the night I kept finding him looking at me. When I caught him looking he wouldn't look away, just smile a little and carry on, direct eye ...
A. 6 April 2011: If you caught him locking eyes with you 20 times in 3 hours I'd say he definitely at least thinks you're really cute. If he didn't, why would he be looking in the first place? I always thought of eye contact as being a good way to connect without ... (read in full...)
Do I need to cut my hair to increase my luck meeting girls?
Q. Hi, I've been single for nearly a year now and I want to get out there again but I don't want anything too serious as I have a very bad track record of relationships, therefore I am severely put off for the time being. I have told my friend that...
A. 6 April 2011: Everyone has different tastes, some people like a shaved head, some people like a military cut, some like dreds, others like the shaggy long hair...it all really just depends on the person. I can say that someone's hair wouldn't matter to me at all ... (read in full...)
How much do appearances matter?
Q. I recently met this guy whose family was from my hometown originally but he was born and raised in this country. He obviously likes me a lot and we had a lot to talk as his major is similar to mine. We've met twice but nothing was awkward and he ...
A. 6 April 2011: Well honestly, I'm not sure how a relationship can work if you're not attracted to them physically. You're going to be looking at that face a lot you know. Looks aren't everything at all, but if you don't feel like kissing him at the end of your ... (read in full...)
He's asked me to send pictures of my breasts over the phone...If I do it, will he think I'm slutty?
Q. I am married and have been on and on involved with a married man/friend on and off. He is now asking me to text him pictures of my breasts with a bra on and without. I trust him completely, but not sure if I should send them or not. We have never ...
A. 6 April 2011: Questions like this always amaze me. All of these questions are irrelevant. IF he is married, don't do it. IF You are married, DEFINITELY don't do it. You made a promise to your husband, maybe you should focus on him and if there are ... (read in full...)
Do you think not talking to him will change his mind about how he's acting and he'l come chasing after me?
Q. Lately, me and my now ex boyfriend have been haveing relationship problems... we have had a rough year, from cheating, lying, breaking up, losing babies... and it seems right when we get to the point where our relationship is healing... he breaks up ...
A. 6 April 2011: Well, I hope everything works out for you. Don't worry, if he's not the one, then there is a man even more perfect for you out there somewhere, just waiting for you. Everything happens for a reason.... (read in full...)
Do you think I should ask him what's going on so that I know where I stand?
Q. I'm confused.... I went on a trip to New York about 4 weeks ago and I met a guy who was on the same trip as me. We got kind of close on the trip and I sat next to him on the plane home and during the course of the flight we ended up holding hands...
A. 5 April 2011: I'd let him know where you stand, just send one simple text. Something like "I like you, and I would like to see where this could go. If you are no longer interested let me know, I can't wait forever." Either he will text and give you an answer, o... (read in full...)
Should I text him asking him why he is ignoring me, or wait until I hear from him?
Q. me and my boyfriend split about a week ago and i was finding it really hard, and then he phoned me friday asking if i wanted him to come and see me. so he came down, we then had a chat and decided to give it another go, he then slept down friday and ...
A. 5 April 2011: You've called and texted, the guy knows you want to talk to him. It's up to him to reply. I'd give it about 3 more days, if you still haven't heard from him then you can text him something along the lines of "I guess you have changed your mind about ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to act crazily for love?
Q. I am always a man who fall deep in love, and once I get somebody I love I feel like running crazy for the person. I do all sorts of things in my capacity to make my partner happy. I can call her 10 times a day just to tell her I miss her and hear ...
A. 5 April 2011: I think it's normal to want to talk to someone you like a lot all the time, and see them every chance you get. However, you need to give the girl a bit of space. For a lot of people, clinginess is a huge turn off, give her some room to breathe. ... (read in full...)
How do you have sex via webcam?
Q. hello i need help if you can help me ... i have my girlfriend .. we have long time together but only through the internet ...and we never spoke about sex never happen that ... today she asked me to come tonight on the internet and she want to do ...
A. 5 April 2011: Wow. Really, you don't know? Sex via webcam is similar to "phone sex". Basically she wants to see your junk. Don't show her anything if she's a prude...you have to give to get!... (read in full...)
"Is she crazy, or am I? OR both?"
Q. My girlfriend (ily) broke up with me last week because I finally leveled with her about sexual relationships I had when she and I weren’t together. One of which occurred before ily and I had ever met. When we first began dating she heard I had a ...
A. 5 April 2011: The only thing that you should be sorry for is the fling you had while you were first going out with her, other than that...It's ridiculous for her to break up with you over anyone in your past...that's not something you can control. She's being ... (read in full...)
My girfriend may be dying, why don't I care?
Q. Im really stuck here. My girlfriend was recently diagnosed with viral encephalitis which is irritation and swelling of the brain. She had it before and nearly died from it but recovered. I have felt that the relationship has been over for a ...
A. 5 April 2011: You can't just stay with someone because she's sick. If you know you don't want to be with her, then leave. You're not heartless if you leave her, you're smart. It shows that you actually respect yourself enough to not want to be in an unhappy ... (read in full...)
She knows I like her and because of this she stays away from me, how do I get her attention?
Q. i really really like this girl who knows that i like her....and bcoz of this, she doesnt really interact with me much....we were kind of friends before...she talks to my friends much more than me and that makes me feel sidelined. I dont like it...
A. 5 April 2011: If she knows that you like her. isn't giving you attention just for that reason, and openly says that she doesn't like you like that...there's nothing much you can do except move on. Set your sights on a new girl who you think is cute and nice. ... (read in full...)
When I move away for university we will be long distance, and it will last for 6 years! How do we make this work?
Q. hi.. I am 20 and my boyfriend 23. we have been dating sice i was 16 but take several pauses off. but last year when i entered university, we again became close to each other dated for about a year. then litle problems crop up like he leave me unatt...
A. 5 April 2011: 6 years is a very long time. And you'll only be able to see him once every year or two? There aren't many people who can make a relationship like that work. You should decide what is more important to you, your career/school or this guy? ... (read in full...)
Dating two men, one of whom is married
Q. I'm dating two men at a time, the more caring one is a maried man nd d other one is stil single and has promised to marry me. I love them equaly. What shoud i do now?...
A. 5 April 2011: This is an easy one, let go of the married guy! Why are you going out with someone who is married in the first place? He already has someone...don't wreck his wife/children's lives just for your own needs/pleasure. ... (read in full...)
She doesn't call me very often, does she love me?
Q. She does not call me often on phone, she can take even a week, without calling me and am the one who always call her on phone. when I ask her she tells me she loves me but she does not show her love by calls. Does she really love me? I feel she does ...
A. 5 April 2011: Sometimes a girl thinks she is bugging the guy if she calls, and that's why she doesn't. I loved this guy a ton, thought about him constantly, but I would always let him make the call first because I didn't want to be a clingy girl, or smother him. ... (read in full...)
Does he wife really know or does he just want out?
Q. I am just wondering what people think because I can't figure this out. First of all, I know to many you are going to judge me and tell me it doesn't matter because I involved myself with a married man, but I do know it was wrong, I just want help in ...
A. 5 April 2011: Ok well first of all I think cheaters are horrible people and the majority of them deserve to contract a horrible case of genital warts so that no one will ever want to have sex with them again. Now that I've gotten that opinion out of the way...
... (read in full...)
Girl I'm interested in has been avoiding me since we had lunch? Is she not interested anymore?
Q. I met a girl in one of my college classes, and ended up having a big crush on her after a few days. For a while I thought she was sending me interesting signals (i.e. jumping in on my conversations with the professor, laughing at every joke I made, ...
A. 5 April 2011: It sounds like she's not interested. Even if she was shy, I don't know one girl who would try avoiding a guy she likes like that. If it bugs you so much, you should confront her and ask her why she's been avoiding you. It's likely she'll lie and ... (read in full...)
Do girls mind if you have yellow teeth?
Q. ok I really really really really love this girl 1 month older than me in school. and I have yellow teeth but I brush them everyday 2 times a day. :(. what do most girls do? : care bout what people look like. or. think about how funny and stuff ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well honestly, you have to be attracted to each other for anything to work out. The whole "it's what's on the inside that counts" only works after you're actually in love with someone. For instance, if someone I loved got his arm dismembered by a ... (read in full...)
Now I have a boyfriend, my ex FWB tells me he's jealous?
Q. I've had a fwb type situation going on with this guy for about 3 years now. Not going to lie, I felt deeply for him and probably always will, and despite him wanting to keep things very casual I know that he felt something for me too. I started ...
A. 5 April 2011: Honestly, I think it's impossible to go 3 years having sex and being good friends with a guy without some sort of feelings showing up on both ends.
It's hard to say exactly why he's jealous, the only way to know for sure is to ask. If you have... (read in full...)
I love her but she's been with alot of people
Q. hi fellow peers of cupid, this is dimario, Ive been stuck in this situation of good and evil emotions. how do you react if the person that your with has been "with" physically allot of people before you? my significant other the one i love with my ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well, despite numbers...it really IS her past and she can't do anything to change that. But if you can't get over it, then there's no way this relationship can work out. If it's something that you are always going to think about, then it's best to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriends best friend- its ME or HIM!!!!
Q. Hello everyone, My name is jess and im 18. My boyfriend is 17 lets call him brenton. So currently we have been dating for about 8 months. We dated in highschool but he dumped me. We were always friends though. Now brentons got this friend call...
A. 5 April 2011: It sounds like your boyfriend is listening to everyone else instead of his own brain/heart. His family needs to mind their own business (don't tell him that).
The best thing for you to do is to sit down one on one and talk to your boyfrien... (read in full...)
Girlfriend cheated on me and I can't get over it
Q. My girlfriend cheated on me months back and I can't seem to get over it. We were living together and things had started getting really rocky. We were fighting bitterly all day every day. I felt her distance herself from me, and rather than give...
A. 5 April 2011: Definitely LEAVE HER ASS!! Staying with this girl is only lead to more pain for yourself.
First of all, if she loved you, how could she cheat on you? I love a guy, and I have to say, even while going through shitty times....I never ONCE thought ... (read in full...)
Should I just slip this guy my phone number?
Q. So there is a guy at work (typical start I know) who is really cute and I'm interested in. He comes in every Tuesday for music and I will admit I've spoken maybe 4 or 5 words at the most to him-mostly because I don't really get an opportunity to ...
A. 5 April 2011: Have you ever flirted with this guy? Or have you ever caught him looking at you? If there's no ring on his finger and you never see him with another girl, I say go for it, slip him the number! A girl did the same thing to my brother the other day at ... (read in full...)
I think he was shocked that I asked him out!
Q. meet this man that i really like an gave him my number . i thought we was both inestrest in one another .but when i gave him my number an i said to him would you like to go out an eat sometimes . his answer was i do not live here . which i knew this ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well, you did your part by asking him out, he knows you're interested in him and he knows that it is up to him to make the next move. I'd just give him his space, if he wants you he'll give you a call or come up to talk to you the next time he sees ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is giving me mixed signals......what should I do?
Q. We're about to break up now and the reasons what she said: 1. Distance (I'm in another country) 2. my lifestyle, like I hanged out with my friends all the time, actually at every weekend almost and when she needed me I couldn't be there, actually ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well, from what I've read she doesn't want a break up at all. She wants to be with you but is conflicted because of the long distance. Try to convince her that love is worth waiting for. She got upset at the idea of you with another girl, so when ... (read in full...)
Need good advice on how to move on??
Q. So its been a month that my exboyfriend broke up with me and im still having the hardest time to get over him. We dated for a 1year nd 2months. So for me its so hard to let go of wat we went through. I already tried talkn to him. I sed i was sorry ...
A. 5 April 2011: I'm assuming you did something to bring on the breakup since you were asking him for a second chance?
In that case, if he no longer wants to be with you there's nothing you can do and you have to move on. I tell everyone this, but the best thi... (read in full...)
About to be married, but still have strong feelings for a girl I was once crazy about.
Q. I am in love with this girl. 11 yrs ago I left our school because our love life was disturbing my education. Yet since then i have not found love in any other be it man or woman. the worst of it all is that i am preparing for my marriage this month ...
A. 5 April 2011: You obviously shouldn't be getting married if you have doubts of any kind, not to mention if you can't get this other girl out of your mind. Why would you want to marry someone if you are in love with someone else? You will just regret it more down ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like my boyfriend is cheating?
Q. okay so my boyfriend always tell me he loves me like a billion times a day. yesterday he was texting me and stoped texting me at 7:16 i think and then didnt text back untill about 9:00 or something. i asked him why and he said that he went with his...
A. 5 April 2011: Did you ask him who was texting? I wouldn't think much of his actions, he tells you he loves you a lot, spends a lot of time with you, andhis "strange behavior" has only been going on for a little over 1 day? It's possible you're overreacting. Just ... (read in full...)
I'm fifteen and I really want a baby!
Q. I am fifteen and I want a baby so bad!! I know I'm insane because I'm still a kid myself but I just want to have something that's truly mine. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now and we both love each other and want to be together ...
A. 5 April 2011: Are you crazy?!? Having a baby at 15 intentionally will in fact be the worst decision of your life and you will regret it. How do you plan on paying for the baby? The diapers, food, clothes, doctor bills? What about school...are you going to drop ... (read in full...)
Is his suggestion for sex really safe?
Q. me and my bf r both 15 and he said he might have an std [he has a bad rash ]. and he didnt get it from me becuz we have never had any contact like that exept kissing.) and he told me he hasnt had sex in almost a year and he is rlly anxius. then he ...
A. 5 April 2011: Your boyfriend is definitely talking out of his ass. You can get pregnant AND STDs while in the swimming pool. Unless you want to risk spending the rest of your life with a disease, I would suggest not having sex with him until he gets his rash ... (read in full...)
Am I being unfair to my boyfriend?
Q. i need some advice. i left my husband a year and a half ago and i have had a lot of problems geeting on with my life.I couldn't be with hubby anymore because he was violent and i feared for my life. I thought after i got out that i would have a bf ...
A. 5 April 2011: Get out of that relationship fast, you're not attracted to him, it's not going to work. You're basically using him because you're lonely and need someone there for you. Just tell him you just see him as a friend and you don't want to complicate ... (read in full...)
Girl I'm dating hasn't contacted me since Friday at noon?
Q. So I've been dating this girl for a month and everything has gone really well. Nothing i can think of could turn our relationship bad. Shes always laughing and smiling when shes around me. We normally have lunch dates together, and then we go to ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well if that's the case, I'd give it a couple days. If she hasn't contacted you by Wednesday you should visit her in person, maybe find her at school or visit her home, and tell her you've been worried about her. Bring her chocolate, that makes ... (read in full...)
Should I make a move on my best female friend?
Q. I'm 13 years of age. And I got this kind of problem. I really like this girl (best friend, let's name her meg not really her name tho lol) so I like meg. I've known her for around about 6 years and I want to just hold her close to me you know. So ...
A. 5 April 2011: 13 is very young, are you even sure you like girls like that? I remember when I was 13, I wasn't interested in any boys, so I was like "what the hell?!? Am I gay?" It wasn't until I matured a bit and got into high school that I got my first real ... (read in full...)
Is he really interested in me or using me to make his ex jealous??
Q. Hello, I have a new relationship type of problem and it's gonna take a bit of explaining so if anyone has the time to read and offer their opinion I'd be most grateful. So. Bit of background first - I've been single for for the last 18+ months ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well, it's hard to say for sure, but I don't think John still wants to be with Liz. If he hadn't moved on, there would be no way he'd be able to hang out with her and her boyfriend (whom she is considering marrying), let alone let them stay in his ... (read in full...)
Is his behavior normal or creepy??
Q. I have been good friends with this girl for a couple months, we are practically inseparable. Lately I have been spending a lot of time at her house and meeting her family. Her mom is nothing but a sweet heart, and her dad was nothing but awesome ...
A. 5 April 2011: The dad's staring is a bit creepy, and not normal. I wouldn't say anything unless he tries to physically touch you because that might hurt your friendship. What I would do is try to cover up as much as I could when I'm around him. The other stuff ... (read in full...)
How can I keep myself out of awkward situations??
Q. Does anyone else go through this? It's driving me crazy Case senario: I was buying something and the clerk asked me for my CVS membership card, and I said "can I give you my phone number"? Obviously I wasn't thinking when I said that, and he start...
A. 5 April 2011: Haha, you sound like my mom. The same things happen to her all the time. Just try to remember to think before you speak, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's who you are and I'm sure there are many people who are going to love this little ... (read in full...)
He still wants to see me after breaking up and calling me by the wrong name??
Q. Hello all I was in a relationship with a guy for about 8 months. We met off a dating site. He seemed to be an exhibitionist which I gathered quickly early on. Still I thought well let's give it a go because he was a nice guy to me. We dated...
A. 5 April 2011: NO, definitely not overreacting. You gave this guy another chance and he blew it. Game over. There are so many awesome guys out there who are going to want YOU and not get your name wrong, or take time out of your convos to jack off to some other ... (read in full...)
Do you think not talking to him will change his mind about how he's acting and he'l come chasing after me?
Q. Lately, me and my now ex boyfriend have been haveing relationship problems... we have had a rough year, from cheating, lying, breaking up, losing babies... and it seems right when we get to the point where our relationship is healing... he breaks up ...
A. 5 April 2011: I can relate. At least on the issue of getting so worked up to the point that I end up sending the guy 20 texts in a row even after he said he was turning his phone off. Afterwards I'm like "oh, crap WHY did I do that?!?". I think it was wrong of ... (read in full...)
Girl has the attention of both of us and we're best friends
Q. Hi everyone, I'm currently a student and I'm stuck in a really delicate situation, I like a girl that a good friend has liked for a while but he can't get it rite.... I have had a thing for her for the past few years, but there has never been a...
A. 5 April 2011: I would first talk to your friend about it. Tell him that you've liked her for a couple of years, tell him you really think you can have something amazing with this girl, and tell him that your cousin asked her to come to his wedding as your date. ... (read in full...)
Girl I'm dating hasn't contacted me since Friday at noon?
Q. So I've been dating this girl for a month and everything has gone really well. Nothing i can think of could turn our relationship bad. Shes always laughing and smiling when shes around me. We normally have lunch dates together, and then we go to ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well, I think it's very wierd. I guess everyone is different, but if it were me and I really like a guy I wouldn't ever ignore his texts or phone calls. Once I had the flu and was pretty much puking my brains out, and I still feel up to responding ... (read in full...)
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