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... Send *aren1989 a private message | | | *aren1989's profile:Hi there i'm karen and i'm 21 from wales(united kingdom).I set up an account with dear cupid because I like helping people. 21 is quite a young age to be lecturing people older than myself on there relationships and the mistakes I feel there making. At the age of 21 i'm really not going to have much life experience. However in the short amount of time i've spent on this planet I have experienced hurt,pain,guilt and all other emotions associated with relationships and break ups. Due to my age I am still very naive,but I am learning that not everyone in this world has my best interests at heart and that my first few boyfriends may not be life long companions. After all you have to get through the rain to reach that rainbow right?..meaning that you have to experience some hurt before you find mr right. I'm not amazing at giving advice but I do know right from wrong and I have a big heart. I just hope that i'll be to shed some light on certain situations for fellow dear cupid users. x |
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He's 17, I'm 13, he wants sex but I think I'm too young!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm gay and in my first relationship he's kind and he's everything I want in a man but since he's 17 and I'm 13 it's quite strange but it's both of our first relationship he wants to have sexual relations but I think I might be too you...
A. 15 August 2010: If your 13 your only JUST a teenager where as if he is 17 hes an adult in a years time. 13 is too young to have sex,it just is. Be careful with this guy don't let him rush you into anything.
Good luck :)
Karen.... (read in full...)
He broke up with me after only two months
Q. So I just recently got dumped. It was a relationship that was rushed and very full in just a short 2 months. He told me a lot of things and I let him in. After it was over it was hard to handle and very painful. It hit me in my chest. He was my ...
A. 15 August 2010: A few months is not enough time to fall in love with somebody. The reason your suffering this much is because this is the first boyfriend you've had-first time round is always the hardest. What you have to remember is your not going to only have one ... (read in full...)
Is this married man attracted to me?
Q. Hello everybody. There's the thing. I have recently started going to this new Café/Restaurant near my house and the male owner who is higly attractive started paying me some attention. He is married and has a kid, and I live with my boyfriend.The ...
A. 26 July 2010: Married men are not worth the hassle! Trust me you think its a bit of harmless flirting now but if you act on this it will destroy your relationship, his marraige and his kids minds. Do you really want to be responsible for that? Whats more ... (read in full...)
Do you ever really forget your first love..
Q. I met mine almost 3 years ago, we were together for a year and a half, and yeah things went quite badly towards the end, he changed and what not. But it's been almost 2 years since we broke up and I still think about him every single day, I st...
A. 26 July 2010: I split up with my first love 6 months ago i still think about him every day i havent been able to date anyone else since i don't get the feeling i got when i was with him with anyone else. Its not nice because he has moved on. I'm hoping these ... (read in full...)
B/f found out I slept with his friend while we were broken up, says its my responsibility to make him feel better!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend in January, we still loved each other very much, but we couldn't stop arguing and things just weren't working. When I broke up with him he got incredibly angry and cut off all contact with me. I didn't think I would ever ...
A. 26 July 2010: I don't think you should leave him..i dissagree with the other aunts on this.
Getting with his friend was never going to be a sensible move how would you feel if he got with one of your close friends? Pretty hurt i bet. And thats exactly how hes ... (read in full...)
How should I approach this man?
Q. there is this man that works in a shop i go in. whenever i go in he says hello and smiles at me and comes over to me. my friend says it is obvious he likes me. i dont really know him and we havent talked much. but one time we did, he talked a lot ...
A. 26 July 2010: He won't think its wierd. Somebody has to make the first move after all. Go for it! Be confident,you know he likes you therefore you have nothing to be afraid of.
Good luck :)
Karen.... (read in full...)
What does "I love you but I don't want you back" mean???
Q. I spoke with my ex and she has told me two things as she spoke in riddles and I want to know what does she mean by. "I love you but I don't want you back"? and "I love speaking with you as youve done alot for me but I don't want to see y...
A. 26 July 2010: Shes been very hurt by the reason the two of you broke up.
Your her EX for a reason, Shes scared that if the two of you were to get back together she'll wind up being hurt again. She still loves you but is in the process of getting over you at the ... (read in full...)
Do I go for the old ex-girlfriend or the girl from the strip club?
Q. Hi thanks for the answers. this is a followup to this question..http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-friend-doesnt-want-me-to-go-to. Alot has happened since. for the record i dont go to strip clubs looking for love i dont even believe in love....
A. 26 July 2010: Wow. You need to have more respect for women.
You can't have both at the same time its wrong. Well nobodies stopping you but i think you know that that isnt the right choice to make. Your call though ey.
And do you really want to be somebodi... (read in full...)
Is it possible not to like sex?
Q. Is it possible not to like sex? I lost my virginity to my boyfriend a few months ago and we've done it somewhere between 10-20 times but I still don't like it. Sometimes it hurts a little but at other times it's just uncomfortable or I can't feel ...
A. 26 July 2010: It took me ages to like sex, just because it was so painful. You've got to remember sex isnt just a guy putting his penis in you and having a few how shall i put this-pumps. Sex is kissing,touching,squeezing,caressing,embracing eachothers bodies,and ... (read in full...)
Is my FWB suggesting we go out?
Q. I have a fwb. Met him thru chatting on msn. Not had sex but i give bj's when i see him. He txts me a lot. Everytime he's at a party or niteclub he'll txt somethin like would have asked u to come but blah blah blah. What is he saying? Is he waiting ...
A. 25 July 2010: Agreed.... (read in full...)
Can a player change? how do you know if he has?
Q. there is this guy that i really like that i would pretty much do anything for. he has been a player for along as i have known him and has always told me the truth. he says he has changed so i guess my question is how do you know when a player is not ...
A. 25 July 2010: A player never changes. I've been with too many to know that they NEVER change. If a guy knows he can get away with playing you he will do it.
Don't think your his only girl, no matter how sweet he is to you,how well he treats you,all the crap he t... (read in full...)
What does a women look for in a man?
Q. What is one of the first things or characteristics a women sees when looking at a man for the first time(potential boyfriend)?...
A. 25 July 2010: Physically:eyes and smile-big bright eyes and a sparkly white smile.And broad shoulders are always nice.
Personality wise:Laid back,Confident BUT NOT COCKY,Knows how to treat a girl,and a guy who can make you laugh without it looking like hes tryi... (read in full...)
How to meet and date when I'm overweight and underconfident?
Q. I am looking for advice please, about meeting and dating girls. I am very overweight, and sometimes can be very underconfident. I know it is possible that my weight won't put someone off, as I have been in a relationship, but now I am uncertain a...
A. 25 July 2010: Once you've lost the weight you'll regain that confidence that is so essential when it comes to women. Be careful about how your new confidence will shine though..you don't want to come across arrogant.
It doesnt sound like your ever going to be c... (read in full...)
Will I get hurt having an affair with a married man?
Q. A few months ago I met a man online just chatting he told me right off that he was married and that he and his wife love each other yet they do allow each other to do whatever they wish . Anyway we clicked and we met up we just had our sceond ...
A. 22 July 2010: Are you sure the wife knows about this? Just because he says she does doesnt mean its the truth,you met him through the internet not that long ago therefore you havent known him long enough to know if hes a liar or not.
Hes probably doing the same... (read in full...)
Will he not kiss me because of his friends?
Q. okay so, me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few weeks, and he is a really sweet person, but acts tough for his friends. me and him get along perfectlyy but we havent kissed yet. im not sure weather he wants to kiss me because of his friends ...
A. 22 July 2010: Sounds like hes a little shy? Is he a shy person?
If he won't kiss you when its just the two of you then hes shy. If he only won't kiss you in front of his friends thats because he doesnt want to look like a pussy in front of them. Hes a guy,... (read in full...)
How should a woman act when a guy dumps her?
Q. To the guys. If you dump someone without telling them, how does it make you feel if they respect your not so graceful dumping with grace (not chasing your, not calling or stalking you), and moved on? Guys, what in your opinion makes a lady you...
A. 22 July 2010: Act like you don't give a shit. Seriously it will drive him nuts,he thinks hes the big man dumping you but your the one who will come out of it laughing.
Good luck :)
Karen.... (read in full...)
I really like my boyfriend's friend and don't know what to do about it!
Q. Me and my boyfriend, Justin, and I have been dating for almost two months. i really like him but i just met his friend Drew. I felt really attracted to Drew and Drew even treated me better than Justin did. Drew was major flirting with me the whole ...
A. 22 July 2010: This is the shortest bit of advice i've ever given. And hopefully the most effective.
Follow your heart. Life is too short to be overanalyzing every dilema. If you like someone else already then justin will never be the one for you.
Good luck :) ... (read in full...)
What do I do about this girl??
Q. Been dating her for a month. I'm 33 she is 32. There has been no sex. NONE! Not even close really. We've talked about it, she knows im getting frustrated. She claims she doesn't know me well enough and that we haven't been on enough proper dates. I ...
A. 22 July 2010: Why can't men just learn to be a little more patient?! My god your like dogs on heat! The reason she got so upset when you dumped her is because shes obviously felt an early connection with you,she likes you. She doesnt want to spoil things b... (read in full...)
Trying to get over him, am I doing it right?
Q. My ex was a huge jerk to me, lied, was inconsiderate and never really was into me inn the end. I got so mad about things. And I keep looking up ways to get revenge and what i read the most was to just keep on living my life and seem just ok. I'm ...
A. 22 July 2010: The best way to get revenge is to act like you don't give a shit,to act like he doesnt mean anything to you anymore.
Even if you do still care you don't want him to know. I think your going about this the right way,once you've convinced him that... (read in full...)
Does it seem like he likes me?
Q. there is a man that works in a game shop that i go in. everytime i go in there and he is working he looks at me and smiles and comes over to see if i need help, and sometimes it is as soon as i walk in the shop. none of the other employees do that. ...
A. 22 July 2010: Yes,he does. Do you fancy him too? if so then go for it..it doesnt always have to be the guy who makes the first move.
Good luck :)
Karen.... (read in full...)
How do I overcome not being attracted to my wife?
Q. First time i have gone through this site and find it so helpful. Hope i too will get some help Iam 29 year old, married two years back. it was an arranged marriage and from the day one i didnt liked the girl but the family pressure was so ...
A. 22 July 2010: You can't force yourself to be attracted to somebody no matter how hard you try. I agree with the others,Divorce? If you want happiness its the only way.
Good luck :).
Karen.... (read in full...)
Where do you find nice teenage girls?
Q. Where do you find nice teenage girls?...
A. 21 July 2010: Depends what your after?..sex?-Clubs,bars. Something more meaningful?-don't go out looking for her you'll meet her when you least expect it. Sounds cheesy but its true. Go about your day as you usually would,maybe go to the additional social ... (read in full...)
Why does the creep factor go up the older you get?
Q. Why is it when a young man craves sex, it's just young a man craving sex. But when that young man gets old and craves sex, he suddenly considered a Dirty Old Man, or even a Sex Addict. Someone help me with this. ...
A. 21 July 2010: I'm 21 and i hate it when someone in his 50's/60's is caught checking me out its horrible it gives me the creeps. The only reason for that is because hes old enough to be my grandfather. The fact that there is that huge age gap and he still thinks ... (read in full...)
If a man is unhappy in a relationship, does this mean he will start to look at other women?
Q. If a married man's body language is lusting after me yet he is being very professional in his approach towards me - does this mean there may be a problem in his relationship? One of my old work colleagues has a sincere attraction towards me. I a...
A. 21 July 2010: Possibly,he is most likely missing one important componant in the marraige and its quite an obvious one-the sex. if hes not getting any of this then he might start to stray.
I suggest you don't act on this, if hes missing sex in his marraige... (read in full...)
My cat is peeing on my couch!! HELP PLEASE!!
Q. My cat is 2 years old, and he is peeing on my couches.. I just moved so he is a little mad but I want him to stop... What can I do to get him to stop. (He is fixed) ...
A. 21 July 2010: This question made me LOL. This is a relationship help and advice website! But oh well here goes...I live with my parents and they have 6 cats,the cats have a litter box,if u havent already got one of these then maybe thats something you should ... (read in full...)
His ex-girlfriend won't let him go!
Q. i am looking for some advice. my fiancee has this ex-girlfriend who won't let him go. i have found notes that she has written him and they make me feel uncomfortable. i have talked to him about this and he swears up and down that he doesn't ...
A. 18 July 2010: This ex of his is obviously still very much in love with him. Do you know what there relationship was like? and why they broke up. Hes definately over her aswell right? (i don't wana make you upset i'm just trying to cover all angles of this) Why is ... (read in full...)
Did I sexually assault someone?
Q. Hey Everyone. Sorry that this is so long, but it’s been bothering me and I have to get it off my chest, and see what people’s opinions are so hopefully I can put my mind to rest. Here is my story as I best remember it and as truthfully as possible. ...
A. 18 July 2010: No not at all, you were being a bit cheeky and maybe a bit disrespectful but you were drunk! Everyone does stupid things when there drunk. You kissed her,and touched her bum thats not sexually assaulting somebody. 4 years ago is a long time, forget ... (read in full...)
Is it disrespectful for him to ask me to sauna with his friends 3 hours after meeting him?
Q. i wanted to know if its disrespectful when you just met a guy gave him your number then 3 hrs later his calling you asking you if i wanna go sauna with him and his friends?? ...
A. 18 July 2010: He wants to see your body. Very disrespectful if you ask me. Hes the kind of guy he thinks with whats in his pants rather than his mind. Don't go to the sauna
Karen.... (read in full...)
His mother used to like me, but now she doesn't!
Q. My boyfriends mom use to like me a lot , until one day she caught us ditching school, and well... Then she started talking shit , what do i do cuz i feel well always felt i can't be in a relationship w/o a mother approving . So what should i do?!...
A. 18 July 2010: Shes just protecting her son,she wants him to do well in school. If she thinks your a bad influence on him then shes not going to like you.
why did you ditch school anyway? Honey it may seem like your boyfriend is the most important thing in your... (read in full...)
She keeps betraying my trust, what should I do?
Q. So here's the situation. I've liked this girl for as long as I've known her, I never asked her out cuz I though she was married or dating someone which I was correct. She was dating this guy for like two years and one night we met at the club...
A. 18 July 2010: You should leave her. You can't keep turning your trust for this woman on and off. She can't be trusted,end of.
It sounds like shes wasting your time,I understand that you love her and its very hard to let go off someone that you love but what othe... (read in full...)
How do I get over my anxiety?
Q. I really like my boyfriend, but when we go to kiss I get so nervous, maybe its becuase i'm not experienced with kissing or anything and he is. So when we kiss i just keep my mouth closed and continue to kiss him and I can feel the tip of his tongue ...
A. 18 July 2010: It should just come naturally. let him take the lead and then just go with the flow. RELAX. You trust him right? and you like him? hes not going to laugh at you if you do something wrong. Seriously just relax and go with the flow,don't overanalyze ... (read in full...)
We just got married, but he doesn't want to have sex every night!
Q. My husband of only 2 weeks doesn't want to have sex every night, Is this normal?...
A. 18 July 2010: Yes this is normal, however if your newly weds and he doesnt want to have sex at all then this may be a problem.
Every night is a bit much though.
Karen.... (read in full...)
I just don't feel the same way about her... how do I break up with her?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend now for just over a year and a half, things started off great, at the time I really did find her attractive and have feelings for her but now I find it has all changed. I just find now I don't feel how I used to ab...
A. 18 July 2010: I know people who think that something in thier relationship has disintergrated and the feelings they once had for there partner arent so strong, or have dissapeared completely. As a result of this the relationship has ended...However the time spent ... (read in full...)
I'm 14, he's 18. He wants to have sex but doesn't want a relationship!
Q. i really like this boy and he's eighteen and we've been really close for ages. he say he wants to have sex with me and do other stuff but he doesnt want a relationship or know what he wants. it really upsets me coz he would be a great bf but i dont ...
A. 18 July 2010: I lost my virginity like this. He was using me. I found the fact that he was older than very exciting,i thought he'd be more mature-he wasnt. Don't let him take advantage of you,18 is too old if your only 14,trust me. Find someone your own age or a ... (read in full...)
Will you remember your first kiss forever?
Q. is your first kiss an important moment in your life ? will u remember it forever ? is it ok 2 kiss and date at 11or12or13 or is it 2 young?...
A. 18 July 2010: I don't remember mine very well because it was meaningless i didnt know him very well,and i was under the influence of alcohol.
However i do remember the first kiss i had with somebody who meant something to me,he was my first boyfriend and i was ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got drunk and took her top off with a group of other people. Should I be worried??
Q. My girlfriend and I recently attended my best friends wedding. After the reception, everyone was pretty drunk. And myself along with several other people (two who were good friends of mine) continued drinking and partying in the hotel (we had the ...
A. 17 July 2010: No you shouldnt be worried-you know what its like when you've had a few too many when your out with the guys,you do stupid things. Its the same for us girls. Its doesnt matter,we're not ourselfs when we're drunk.
Good luck :)
Karen.... (read in full...)
She gets mad because I don't agree with her
Q. I don't know what to do. My gf gets mad whenever I don't agree with her. She looks at it in a disloyal way although I'm just trying to say my opinion. I told her, if she wants to be with someone who always agrees on her opinion, she should just get ...
A. 17 July 2010: Having a girlfriend/boyfriend is supposed to make a person happy,not the opposite-if shes not making you happy then you have no reason to stick around,leave her.
She sounds controlling and like she has a bad case of low self esteem. Shes trea... (read in full...)
Should I email him my feelings?
Q. I have recently noticed that I only have a few more months until I graduate from high school and my high school years come to a close. For those four years, I have had an obsessive crush on one of my teachers. I have thought of him every single day; ...
A. 17 July 2010: Teacher and student relationships don't work. He could loose his job,it would affect his whole career.
Not to mention getting you into serious trouble aswell.
Don't do it. Leave him alone.
Your studying at the moment so focus on that, and any cute... (read in full...)
I'm considering cancelling our date for fear of screwing things up, I'm so nervious! Help!
Q. what do i do?!? Ive just started dating a guy in college with me and hes the first real boyfriend Ive had to be honest. anyway he asked me to go out on a date with him on sunday but im worried i wont know how to act or what to say. im becomin...
A. 17 July 2010: This is going to sound so commercial but just be yourself! and if he doesnt like you, then its his loss. You should never try and change yourself for any guy.
Good luck :).
Karen.... (read in full...)
Is he too old for me or should I continue to pursue him?
Q. Hi, I'm 14 in May and i really really like this guy in my school but he's 18 in August so there's four years between us, plus he's leaving school soon. I asked him out once and he said he would - IF i was his age. We're really good friends already ...
A. 17 July 2010: Age gaps work in relationships if both parties are at a mature age. Your 14 still going through puberty, he is a young adult. If you were 20 and he was 26 it wouldnt be as bad because your both adults.
Funnily enough the first person i fell for ... (read in full...)
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