A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a twenty seven year old lesbian. And still a virgin. I feel ashamed by this. I'm kinda shy and insecure, because I don't look like some of the lesbians that I see around where I live. It's depressing me, and I want to know if there are any steps that I can take, that will help me find someone that will like me for who I am, and not what I look like. Any advice is welcome.
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insecure, lesbian, shy, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): Hi,Stop thinking that because you don't look like other lesbians you've got less chances. Just be you, start by making new friends (girls) in different contexts, I'll be explaining how shortly. I think that on the question of finding your match, the best way to find is by being true to yourself. Anyone who tries to be like someone else will end up feeling unhappy about annoying situations they find themselves in. Now, where could you meet people? I saw that previous answers mentioned gay bars/clubs, online gay dating websites. I'll try and provide a few more suggestions, have you tried looking up an lgbt group in your area? Have you also thought about joining a club? Being part of a club be a sport one, diy, singing or anything else will increase your chances of meeting new friends/women and your potential significant other. Good luck and don't despair!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): Firstly you said you don't look like any lesbians you know. Just because you're a lesbian that doesn't mean you have to look a certain way. You be yourself and someone will fall in love with you.
Maybe you should go out to more clubs and become more sociable to meet someone but just because you're a virgin that doesn't mean anything! it's not a label, at least you hadn't slept with someone at a young age and regretted it and now you're muture enough to have your first sexual relationship when you meet the right person.
Good luck hun
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 I know this probably isn't what you were wanting to do but why not try online dating. If you make a good profile then people who are seriously interested in you will find you and you can filter through far more people that way.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (8 July 2012):
 To start with not all people gay or straight look the same so there really isnt any point worrying about it :)
Do you go out much? To gay bars or club, places you can meet new people? Take some friends with you if you do not want to go alone and just talk to people, even if it is just making new friends it extents the chances of meeting new people.
Also have you thought about dating online, so many people do that now and it is a great way to chat and get to know a person a bit before jumping into anything.
Maybe ask friend if they think they know anybody you would like and get them to set you up.
hope this help a little.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): First of all just think of it this way, they say there is someone in the world for everyone so you just have to find them or them find you. And not everything is about physical appearance its also about what's inside that counts for a lasting relationship.
Places to look, well I'm not sure where you are from but in my city where I live there is a section of the town known as the gay village, its got bars, restaurants, night clubs etc , mostly occupied by the gay community (male and female) if there is something similar where you live then that maybe a good place to go and meet new people.
Also try visiting some gay websites you never know who's on there that you may like.
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