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... Send *loveblue a private message | | | *loveblue's profile:I first stumbled upon this website when I was having a broken heart from a failed relationship. I didn't want the people around me to sermon on me as I never listened to them but I was desperate for an advise. I'd say, this was the best that I could find when it comes to relationship problems. You know why, because our dear aunts will respond to your post based on their experiences and knowledge. I do agree that experience is the best teacher. You are free to follow their advise or not. And not everyone will give the same formula, the same answers, so imagine how much knowledge you will get.
Ofcourse some will be frank some will be nice, but that's the beauty of it, you get to be responded by people with varying personalities. You will feel there is life in this website.
Anyway, I can honestly say that this site has helped me mature so fast. When I first started here, my view of relationships are shallow, immature and I don't know how to read guys behavior. About sex too, I was so naive. I feel I know only 10% before, now I feel like I know some 60% already about relationships. I like to learn more from reading about people's posts and problems. I do give advise at some posts where I know I can relate to. It may not be the best advise but it's based on experience and based on early posts from since I became a member here. Coz I do make a lot of observations from people who post here over and over, it seems there is a pattern for exes, FWBs or some basic teen age sex questions. These stories are from different people but they are basically similar to each other.
Also, it feels nice to share your views and help people learn from your mistakes. Do not let them learn their mistake, make them learn form yours so they can avoid the mistake as early as possible.
Good luck to all of us. |
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Even though I am lonely I don't want to be in a relationship.
Q. Hi all. Recently at my college I became interested in a girl in my class, and she became interested in me. We got to know each other, and eventually we started dating. The relationship seemed as if it was going smoothly, however it only lasted a...
A. 14 June 2020: Hello, it says here you're around 17-18? Yes, that is pretty normal especially for your age. So many guys your age feel the same way, so guess what, they screw up their relationships. You are on the right track not being in a relationship while you ... (read in full...)
How can he determine that there is "no chemistry" after just two dates? Is that possible?
Q. I met this guy two weeks ago and he came up to me and introduced himself. We talked on facebook for a day and he asked me for my number, he ended up calling me and we talked on the phone for three hours. He texted me everyday first and every night ...
A. 8 January 2014: This guy is really waving a red flag. You barely even reached the peak of dating and he is already on and off with you. There is something really wrong with him.
I would say and I know it is not easy but this guy could be a future heart ache for... (read in full...)
Why is it bad to send ex a hate letter?
Q. I wrote a 3 page letter telling my ex how much I hate him. He had records of cheating and every time I forgave him and took him back. He's a liar and never changed. I'm so pissed and don't deserve after what I've done for him. So people said don't ...
A. 8 January 2014: Been there, done that. Believe me, after you have moved on from this guy...the only thing you would ever regret is to have sent that letter. I have done this before and I just embarrassed myself. Having moved on from my ex, I realized I was s... (read in full...)
Has anyone used a 'safe' option to reclaim self-esteem and then dumped 'safe' for 'hot'?
Q. Hello, Have any of you ladies on here suffered with some depression, low self esteem and insecurities to the point that while seeing a hot man, you can't enjoy it for the endless worrying that he will dump you for someone better? So, you end up d...
A. 20 December 2013: OMG, my answer will be different from the other girls because I did that. I am sorry to say that you can not really judge what will happen in a relationship based only on looks. You see, there was a point that I was being courted by 2 men, one lo... (read in full...)
Do I make a big stink or just quietly end things with this guy?
Q. I've been seeing this guy kind of on and off for five months. We've both discussed that we do not want a relationship with each other, but enjoy each other's company and are attracted to each other. I told him that I loved him as a friend, because I ...
A. 18 December 2013: You want some real revenge, just disappear like you were just a dream. I did that to one of my exes...when I had enough I just stopped texting, stopped responding. But ofcourse that was the result of months begging him to see me and not breaking-up ... (read in full...)
7 years and I'm still not over my ex, help?
Q. Hi everyone, This might be quite long but I'm in dire need of some advice...i can't really talk to anyone else about this situation...Here goes: When i was about 17 i randomly met a guy at a gig, i can still remember it like it was yesterday, i...
A. 26 June 2013: I guess it's all in your mind. Maybe subconsciously you really don't want to forget this guy and you actually enjoy reminiscing your moments together. Do you really want to forget him? Please do yourself a favor then: 1. Obviously, being frien... (read in full...)
Is it common for men in committed relationships to engage in behaviors like this with another woman? Why is he doing this?
Q. I'm a single female and a few months ago, had a chance to get to know a male colleague of mine who's located in a city 4 hours away. We hit it off immediately and very quickly became friends though common interests. After our first meet, we have not ...
A. 26 June 2013: In a way you know it's wrong..that is a YES to a question: do you think it's wrong or not? If it's wrong it's wrong, end of story. Please do not wait for the time that you wont be emotionally able to quit this type of "harmless" relationship. Be... (read in full...)
How can people have sex with the same person and not get bored?
Q. I am still a virgin so I have no knowledge of such things, but it seems to me that If I had sex with the same girl all the time then things would get very boring, kind of like watching the same movie over and over and over again. Assuming that ...
A. 1 February 2013: I did have the same thoughts when I was your age. I think right now for you, you don't realize that you think of this same person as someone who is nameless, faceless and someone with whom you do not have any emotional attachment.
When I started ... (read in full...)
I just flunked out of college and am worried about my future.
Q. I just flunked out of college and now it means I am going to finish a full 4 years after the people i finished high school with. I am afraid that I will never amount to anything or make a success of myself and will always be on the fringes of ...
A. 29 November 2012: What you're feeling right now is normal. But the good thing is a lot of people go through the same thing, you just don't realize it.
I went through the same situation many years ago and who could tell what I will become today? I am not saying I... (read in full...)
Any study tips please to allow me to study in a noisy environment?
Q. I could really use some help.. I have an important exam to sit for in about 2 months time,let's just say its going to be a life changing exam,it either breaks me or makes me.. BUT the place I live I wouldn't say its too noisy but in the afternoon...
A. 14 October 2012: To each his own. I thought at first you could not listen to traffic noise but could listen to loud music which actually and strangely is some people's preference. Some people study that way believe me. Anyhow,I would, as others have said, sugge... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my girlfriend with a girl I'm infatuated with. I want them both!
Q. I have been with my gf for 3 years. We started dating shortly after I ended my only other relationship, which had lasted 9 years, partly so that I could experience being single for the first time in my life. I wasn't looking for a relationship at ...
A. 10 October 2012: Oh, poor girlfriend of yours...do you not realize what this means? It means you do not respect her enough to even be honest with her. I agree with what everyone says here, there is an inconsistency in what you are saying. How do you say that you... (read in full...)
Because of an open relationship I may lose my gf
Q. a year ago, i asked my gf for an open relationship. i really wanted to experience more sexually from different types of women. We had been together for three years before i asked her, and after five months she told me she would give a try, though s...
A. 5 October 2012: I think if there is one thing you forgot to consider while proposing the "open relationship"...is your girlfriend. Have you never thought that she may be capable of straying and may fall in love with someone else? Clearly at the time you were th... (read in full...)
I'm starting a new job and I have no confidence, what do I do?
Q. I will soon be starting a new job that requires working with people all day. The only problem is I have zero self esteem and zero confidence. I don't like to join in conversations as I'm terrified i'll say something stupid and embarrass myself. I ...
A. 4 October 2012: I can very much remember how it feels to be starting in a new job. It is exactly the way you feel right now. There is one line though that always rings true when it comes to new challenges in life.. THIS TOO SHALL PASS I have been working in a ... (read in full...)
If you won money, how much would you give your guardian?
Q. Hey everyone, This is not a relationship question, it's a "what if" question. Ok, let's say you are 17 years old and you've been living with somebody like a guardian since you were 16, you don't have any parents, and you pay the person $300 ever...
A. 30 September 2012: When I saw the word guardian, I thought they took you in out of mercy and love and raised you like their own daughter. I would surely give them a big share no doubt! But paying them $300 a month?
They've been paid monthly, why give them half of ... (read in full...)
Her Mom has agreed to keep it secret. But do I tell my new Gf that I had sex with her Mom in the past?
Q. I have been dating a woman for a few months now and all is going really great. Recently she introduced me to her mother and immediately we recognized each other. A few years earlier we were in a bar and started talking to each other. She is was o...
A. 30 September 2012: At some point, one would think..it's not your girlfriend's business now who you slept with in the past.
However, this person is just not anyone..it's her mother! I do think it's her right to know that. It's her right to decide if she still wa... (read in full...)
I'm a plus size woman who has lost weight recently. Why has my Bf made no comments on my weight loss?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a plus sized woman with an average sized boyfriend. He makes me feel so confident with myself and always shows so much respect for me. I have been starting to lose a sigificant amount of weight, and he hasn't mentioned an...
A. 8 September 2012: You could probably be right, he could have avoided bringing this up for fear it will offend you and now that you have lost a lot of weight, pretends that it doesn't affect him as this might offend you too (might make you think: I didn't know I was ... (read in full...)
Ladies: What does it feel like to not be over a relationship?
Q. What does it feel like to "not be over" a previous relationship for girls? I met someone 4 months ago. We've only met 5, may be 6 times during the first 2 months. Since then just texts and a seldom phone call. At first I thought she had ...
A. 24 August 2012: Just because she's behaving this way doesn't mean she wants to get back with her ex. However, since she confessed to you that she's not over her previous relationship, then she is still thinking of him most probably. The concern here is you, is ... (read in full...)
Advantages and disadvantages of dating a younger man?
Q. Ladies, what do you think about dating a younger man? One of my friends recently broke up with her ex and began dating her current boyfriend one month later. He ex is 1 year younger than her and her boyfriend is 2 years younger than her. I know the ...
A. 1 August 2012: Actually, it really depends on the person. My first boyfriend is younger than me by 3 years but he was matured in thinking. My current boyfriend is 6 years younger than me, though at times he has immature ways, most of the time, I don't feel the... (read in full...)
She cheated to be with me. Will she cheat on me?
Q. Well this might be a little long so bear with me. For background purposes: I’m not a guy who’s been around, there’s nothing wrong with me but i’m one of those slow people and i’ve never really cared about that since my first girlfriend. She ...
A. 18 July 2012: I understand the concern on your part, I am actually in the same situation as yours.
I met my now boyfriend while has was dating someone else even though I consciously didn't want to STEAL him from her. I just learned one day he ended their re... (read in full...)
I met this girl online, we were chatting every night and out of the blue she stopped showing up on skype and even stood me up when I went to visit her!
Q. About 6 months ago I met a girl online, She lives in Spain and I in Norway. We really hit it off, we have been seeing eachother for about 2-4 hours on skype every night, and eventually we start text other during the whole days also. She also decided ...
A. 10 July 2012: Oh, I hope your girl is alright. Something worst always comes to our mind when things like this happens, coz this kind of behavior is unacceptable, really irresponsible and rude. However, ofcourse we cannot rule out that some people can just ... (read in full...)
Can toothpaste get rid of pimples?
Q. Iv starting developing pimples. iv been using a cream but it bleach my skin too much so iv decided to put an end to it even though it helps me. I heard tooth paste can also get rid of pimples. But i dont know how to go about it. Can tooth paste get ...
A. 29 June 2012: I don't know if this is effective on everyone but for me, this is actually my one beauty secret. My friends sometimes notice how my pimples are gone overnight..well, it's because i just cover the pimple with toothpaste at night! Before I go to bed, ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend too dumb to pick up that I want sex?
Q. So im really annoyed at the fact that my bf rarely wants to have sex. Weve been together for 10 months and for like the first 6 months we were having sex multiple times a day and now its like maybe once a week. We dont really cuddle that much either ...
A. 24 June 2012: I know where you're coming from as I lived with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We no longer live together but we are still very much together, we just feel it's better to be apart since we are not married yet. If you're both working or are s... (read in full...)
How can I trust him when this has happened before? he received a text from a woman calling him 'babe'. He got defensive.
Q. Dear all. I was visiting my boyfriend today. We were having a good time until cell phone rang. The first time it rang he ignored it saying it was his friend who want him to go to a party so he's not interested. The phone rang again an there was a ...
A. 24 June 2012: I can relate sooo much to what you are feeling now. I can still feel the pain myself as this was how I learned about my cheating bf (now my ex). I experienced the same thing with my ex and they will deny until their death until they can deny no ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had an open box of condoms, and they had different expiry dates
Q. yesterday i went to my boyfriend of 3 years house. we were kissing in bed and he pulled out a open box of condom 3 pack.i was skeptic, as in why would that be open if its brand new? hes always suspicious of me having condoms at my house even if i ...
A. 21 June 2012: Well, maybe just ask yourself, is the condom the only reason you are suspicious of your bf or are there other reasons? If this is the only one, it is safe to say that you are just being paranoid. However, I still am not happy that he said he just ... (read in full...)
I accidentally found out that my daughter in law & family do not like me. What do I do now?
Q. This afternoon I had my 10 year old grandson (my son's son)and I took a wrong turn in the car at a junction. He panicked thinking we were going to his other grannys (his mum's mum). On gently questioning him he told me that it would be a bad idea ...
A. 21 June 2012: Well, it will come off as surprising for now but you'll get used to that fact. I would suggest just shrugging it off, what you know now does not actually change the fact that they may have not liked you since before, but you were fine and you were ... (read in full...)
How often do you have sex with your partner?
Q. how often do you have sex with your partner? looking for answers from people who are in: 1) Long distance relationships (hardly see eachother) 2) close proximity (see eachother most days or w/e's) 3 and live in relationships (living tog...
A. 7 June 2012: I live with my bf for 2 years now, our normal sexual activity is 3 times a week. There was a time when it would be once a week as he was stressed at work. Now, we are back to 3 times a week, sometimes even daily.
But even without the sex, the... (read in full...)
After hooking up with my ex, now FWB he doesn't respond back!
Q. I know this is going to sound petty but I'm pretty upset so it means alot to me :) My ex and I ( dated 6 mos) recently ended things but care fir each other and decided to stay friends. Well, then we realized seeing each other would lead to mo...
A. 1 June 2012: As everyone has said here, this is a sign that your relationship is indeed over. I experienced exactly the same thing with my ex before. BIG MISTAKE. When we broke up after dating for a year, the respect for each other was still there even thoug... (read in full...)
Can I get a STD infection from having sex with 3 clean guys?
Q. I had sex with three guys unprotected the past 3 days drunk. I know they're all clean since I know all of them. My question is even though they're clean, can I contract a std from bodily fluid with 3 different guys in a short period of time. or some ...
A. 1 June 2012: The reason why you are at risk for an STD when you have multiple partners is because you are exposing yourself to possibly a big number of people. Sure you had sex with 3 guys, since they agreed to do this with you without protection, how sure are ... (read in full...)
Are all women capable of having orgasms through intercourse? Anyone know a good technique?
Q. Are all women capable of having orgasms through intercourse? I think they say only a small percentage of women can orgasm just from intercourse. I'm 33 and it only happened once for me. I would love to figure out how to have more. I can climax from ...
A. 1 June 2012: In my case, I used to be hard up on having that big O and I always end up disappointed after sex. Coz I know I am getting there, but my bf (now my ex) bf could not wait for me any longer. My current bf has made me appreciate sex more and I have ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to my ex and tell him I'm sorry for my part in the break up?
Q. I broke up with my long term boyfriend a few months ago. At the time, to me it seemed like the only thing to do. This was because he seemed increasingly disinterested and distant with me. I think it was because I made myself too available to him. I ...
A. 31 May 2012: Talking to him sounds like a good idea. But just to tell you from among the thousands I have read here on DC, most of the time, break-ups can't be revived. It is true, your ex is an ex for a reason. The good thing about talking to him is atleas... (read in full...)
Questions for women who KNOW they are attractive to men....
Q. You can be walking down the street (or in a store), and men would approach and ask for your name and number. Or you're at the club and they offer to buy you a drink. Pretty much wherever you are, men shower you with attention, even if you just met. ...
A. 29 May 2012: 1. What's it like? It feels nice most of the time, and it makes me feel special. But there are times you want to just hide and not be seen coz sometimes, it is annoying that wherever you go, people just stare at you like they are going to eat you or ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain her behaviour to me?
Q. Can anyone give me some advice in regards to this girls behavior at the club last night? Okay , so I was with my friends last night at a club and I usually don't go to clubs but since it was my friends birthday I told myself I would make a ...
A. 27 May 2012: To be honest, both of you treated this scenario immaturely. Why didn't you say hi to her the moment she came up to your table? I mean, that was a very clear indication that she is craving for your attention. As a girl, she expected you to ... (read in full...)
Why people say stop looking for love and let it find you?
Q. I have been looking love and I could not find it and people have told me to stop looking. And they say If I keep on looking for it I will never find it. So three years ago at the age of 24 I stopped looking and got on with enjoying my life and today ...
A. 25 May 2012: I somehow believe that advice because it happened to me twice. But looking at it, I think the reason why this advice becomes true is because when you are looking for love, it makes you look desperate to the people or the person you are pursuing. You ... (read in full...)
Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis if size doesn't matter?
Q. Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis (like bigger than they've ever had before) if size doesn't matter? Why did men evolve big penises (length and girth) compared to other primates if size doesn't matter?...
A. 25 May 2012: That's actually a wrong notion about women. I would not blame you coz maybe you've seen it or heard it in the movies or gossips. But real women don't care about penis size.
I have never come across a group of females who said they'd prefer b... (read in full...)
If a girl gives you her number but doesn't reply to a message does that mean she's not interested?
Q. Hi I have a question for the ladies. Say a guy has met a girl and they exchange numbers. She knows that he intends to ask her out at some point but he hasn't done so yet. They exchange messages and she hasn't replied to one anymore. Does th...
A. 25 May 2012: I agree to Foot-in-My-Mouth. Most of the time, I give my number to the opposite sex not because I am interested but because I don't want to embarrass them by saying no. The moment I know it's them calling me, I just don't pick up, they'll figure it ... (read in full...)
For those of you who are sucessful in love: How did you do it?
Q. I have noticed that so many people (me included) are suffering when it comes to love. Maybe we are just doing all the wrong things. Maybe there is more to love than pure chance. One way to be successfull I've heard is to pay attention to wha...
A. 17 May 2012: Well, no one knows what the future holds for us. So we cannot really say that what we are now will be the same, say, 2 to 5 years later. But if you ask me about my relationship status right now, I'd say I have never been as happier. How I met my c... (read in full...)
I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting sex all the time!
Q. Wife and I are in a nearly sexless relationship. We have two sets of twins that drive her near insanity, both work full time, and, obviously I want sex way more than she does. I masturbate a lot, but it's not the same as the real thing. She has ...
A. 17 April 2012: I understand the frustration on your part. However, when you said you believe that relationships are supposed to be give and take...maybe both of you lack in the "give department"?
Most of the time, if you fail to give to a person, you get the ... (read in full...)
Can someone please translate what this message from my ex means?
Q. So my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years dumped me 2 months ago when I was out of town. He didn't give me a reason other than "our relationship ran its course". It hurt so much because (1) it was completely out of the blue (2) he didn't give me a strong ...
A. 16 April 2012: This is a classic story for post break-ups. But I really admire you for the courage and the bravery to not contact your ex after he dropped the bomb to quit on your relationship when you needed him most. Both aunts who posted earlier are righ... (read in full...)
My younger sister has tried to hook up with my boyfriends. Now the tables are turned. Should I accept her boyfriend's invitation to have sex?
Q. i have this problem... my sister just recently started seeing a new guy. i later find out that he wants to be with me in a sexual way. i do have feelings for him and not sure what to do. part of me is saying its wrong but another part is saying she ...
A. 9 April 2012: I agree with everyone! If you would like revenge this way, you are not any better than your sister.
It doesn't matter how she felt during those times she betrayed you, what's important now YOU, how you think. This is the time to prove to her that... (read in full...)
Men & Women: How long have you gone without sex?
Q. How long have you gone without sex with another person? ...
A. 9 April 2012: Hmm I had no sex for like forever before and I even thought I will never have it in my life. But later, I somehow longed for it and tried other ways to feel satisfied sexually.
Then I met my bf and it wasn't that great at first. We'd do it about... (read in full...)
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