A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Found out today the guy I'm seeing has twins on the way. Its a shock. I like him a lot but I feel like running and fast. He already has two! I have no kids and though I love them I have no desire to have them now or to be a stepmom honestly. I know I'm being a coward but I can't help it! I respect him for letting me know but is it worth it to go ahead with him when I know that I can't.imagine being a permanent part of his life?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): You're 18 to 21, I'm 22 with two kids, some people just aren't ready for kids.
I think you're being smart. IF you aren't ready for kids and you know that then get out while you still can instead of staying around and parting ways after the kids are attached to you.
If you aren't comfortable then go. Do whats best for you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 I think you are being smart, not a coward.
You got to do what's right for YOU.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 You're not a coward at all. Why should you have that responsibility put on you all for a guy that you are just dating. That is a lot for someone to handle when they are marrying the person never mind just dating them. He will most likely have some understanding for why you can't continue seeing him because if you stay you will be forced into the role of step mom.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Heck, missed the other two.. two and two make four.. girl keep your drawers on, you gonna be rich and famous... this guy has enough kids that soon he can open a school on his own..
Sorry, but loser, poor, to remain poor because he likes kids more than condoms...
He aint worth it.. wait for a nice guy with a wedding ring, no kids and a good paying job.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (17 July 2012):
 I do not think you are being a coward. You are being realistic. There is no way I would want a man with four children at your age. I would just tell him that you are sorry, but you cannot see this working with all of the responsibilities he has, or should have.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 July 2012):
 You're not being a coward. The guy who has twins on the way and two children already is the guy who is shirking his responsibility. At the very least, to wear a condom.
I think you can do better than a guy who has so much trouble with contraception and maintaining a lasting relationship with the mother of his children. And if the twins are still on the way, that means the relationship ended less than 9 months ago. Rebound is a term that comes to mind....
I'd go ahead and run and fast too. He doesn't have a good track record, does he? That's too bad, but that's not your fault.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 July 2012):
 You are absolutely without a doubt NOT a coward for not wanting to deal with this, and you're not a coward for walking away.
If he has twins on the way, that means that either you and he are a new relationship, or he cheated on you. By the way you're talking, it sounds like you and he are starting out new (less than a year). It's completely understandable that you don't want to take on this kind of burden, and it *is* a burden.
It's not like he has a child from a previous marriage, or a relationship from years ago. This is a recent thing.
You know that you two are not compatible, as you do not see a future with him. It is an act of kindness to let him go now, and you can be guilt free in knowing that you did the right thing in recognizing the incompatibility and ending things before too much gets invested. If you stay with him now, you'll be leading him on.
Did you say that he already has two children and now has twins on the way? Yeah, there is no shame or guilt in deciding that you don't want to take on this baggage. Sweet and kind guys who do NOT have kids and aren't looking to hook up with someone else while the woman they got pregnant is still pregnant.
Furthermore, I look at it as disgusting for a guy to abandon a women he made pregnant to try and hook up with someone else while she's pregnant. If you want to know what cowardice is, look at your guy. I'd run like hell just knowing that he did that to another woman.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (16 July 2012):
Big hugs, this must be a big shock. Your looking for a guy to love you and settle down, and this guy has baggage and responsibilities and can't ever be just yours.Girl, you report as 18-21, that's so damn young. You aint gonna die until your 60-80.You wanna carry some guys baggage, baggage he choose to create. Or do you wanna fly free, and choose the best guy with the best prospects. At 18-21, there's so much out there for you, you could be prime minister, you could be rich, you could travel, you could be famous.... you could do so much if you were free, or had a man without responsibility. This guy has twins, and some woman who wants money... he's busy and poor.. unless he's sexy or sweet and kind, I say dump him and find someone with less problems.Your too young too have a guy with so much worries.
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