A
male
age
30-35,
*ave04
writes:Recently I've felt pressured into learning to drive. Here in the UK you can learn at 17 and im currently 19. Quite a few of my friends can drive but I've never got round to learning, most of the places I go to in my spare time are local or I can simply use public transport to get around cheaply, which is often faster than driving.The sensible side of me says that £1500 per year just to get insured to drive really isn't worth it when I don't need to drive, but the other side of me feels pressured into it because everyone else is, and that girls apparently find it more attractive when guys have a car. Is that really true? I could understand if I was in my 30s but im only 19. Do girls my age really care about that? and is it really a deciding factor?Thanks.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 I'm going to agree it has to do with where you live.
my son lived in Philadelphia for 5 years for school and had no license and no car and he did fine as they have good public transportation.
Once he moved back home to Baltimore he needed a car as public transportation around here stinks.
If I lived in NYC I would probably not need a car... Here not only do we need A car, we need a car for every adult driver... at least those with school or jobs.
glad to hear your folks will add you to their car... sounds like a good plan.
A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (9 July 2012):
 The ABILITY to drive i feel is important, not the actual having a car. If you live in a town or can get anywhere easily by bus, train or tube then i don't see the point of having one if it's going to be an unnecessary expense. Having a useful skill such as driving is important. You could still hire a car if you need one. Having your licence gives you more options.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): You shouldn’t feel pressured to drive! I live in the UK too and my boyfriend is 19 and doesn’t drive and I don’t care. Sure it’s handy but a girl shouldn’t decide to not be with you just because you don’t drive because that is really shallow. It’s so expensive and maybe you don’t have the money or you’re saying for something more important in your future and you should be respected for your decision, and if a girl just wants you for your car then she isn’t worth it.
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (8 July 2012):
 I honestly don't care and i'm 19 in the UK. My boyfriend doesn't drive, and I don't think any less of him. My ex didn't drive either and him not having a car really didn't bother me :) If you don't see any point in driving then don't force yourself into it, especially just to try and impress girls, save your money for something you truely want/need ^_^
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 It's a bonus. If you and another guy are equal in the girls opinion, then him having his license, and you not, would be in the other guys favour. The girl would then probably go for him. But if you have other aspects that interest a girl she won't care about you not driving. It's just a bonus, not a deal breaker, and not really that important.
If you don't smoke you will be more interesting than guys who do smoke, just to name another example. Not smoking trumps having a drivers license. So say, you and another guy are equal in the girls opinion, but he drives and smokes, and you do neither. Then you will look better to her (given that she is a non smoker herself).
Another way to twist not having a car is to get your license, and then tell girls that you don't have your own car because you are saving up to buy your own apartment. But get the license so that you are able to drive (many work places require that you can drive, so that's just a bonus for you either way).
Having your own apartment trumps having a car. By far. So even if you don't have your own apartment yet, if you are saving up for one it'll be an extra bonus for you.
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 You should really learn to drive just in case the occasion calls for it even if you won't drive often. I would say that yes it is more attractive to a girl because it symbolizes more independence but it is not the only thing you can do. Most girls don't want a guy who they don't see having a future and that implies a good job which is accompanied 99% of the time with a vehicle and place of their own or living the life of a student.
For the most part the girl doesn't want to take public transport on a date or just meet somewhere. Not every girl would turn you down because of it but it does make for a more awkward asking out situation.
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A
male
reader, Dave04 +, writes (8 July 2012):
Dave04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice!
I've just talked to my parents and they've agreed to insure me on their car for a month (I've already had about 15 lessons in the past) and im going out in the car in a few days. Its about time I just got this done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): Driving can be a personal independent advantage, but if at your point in life it would be a set back rather than an advantage then don't drive just yet.
No, I don't think all girls think like that, but it depends on the girl e.g if she's the sort that wants you to run her around everywhere rather than her use public transport, then yes (and that's just taking liberties as petrol cost need to be taken into account which will come out of your pocket too lol).
Usually its the money orientated and the vain ones who like to be flash and have everything they want and project a higher class perfect image of themselves to the rest of the world. A genuine girl will be happy no matter how much or little you had.
Just do what's best for you, not others.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): "California" Enough said. :P
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 July 2012):
 I think this needs to be less about girls and more about you learning to drive. You need to learn how to drive! Who cares if you have a car or not, but you really ought to learn the skill. The sooner the better, because the longer you put it off, the less likely you're going to come around to learning and driving is a very important life skill to know.
In terms of a turn off, I don't think not driving is a turn off. It is a little inconvenient. I admit, my eyebrow might raise if I learned that you didn't know how to drive at all... but I wouldn't rule you out because of that! That's just silly. It's certainly not a deciding factor. But a car does come with certain freedoms, and that's always nice. Plus, a backseat to make out in. Just saying.
But ultimately, you're eco-friendly - as long as you're not a ride moocher 24/7, and that's attractive too. Just learn how to drive for the sake of knowing how! No one says you have to own a car, but you really should know how to handle one.
Good luck!
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (8 July 2012):
I think it really all depends on where you are. I don't necessarily know how girls are in the U.K., or if you live in a city where having your own car is kind of pointless because it takes longer than walking or if it's better to use public transportation.
In the U.S. it's common especially in NY for most people to NOT own a car. It's faster to walk and there's just not enough room to get around. I live in California, and yes, I guess according to Cerberus, we're all a bunch of shallow idiots. Everyone drives, we all have our own cars and if a guy doesn't have one, then sorry, we're not chaufeuring that guy's butt around. Public transportation sucks and everyone just drives. If a guy doesn't have a car, then yes, it's a turnoff. But pretty much every girl also has their own car as well.
So at 19, yes, girls will care about that stuff, unless you live in a city where most people just use public transportation anyway. Why do you think guys buy fancy sports cars? It's to impress girls, duh!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): Only to the most shallow of idiots. Any girl who cares that much about cars should have one herself shouldn't she? Frankly OP if that's a consideration for a girl and it matters to her do you really want to be with that type of superficial person?
Dave are we really more attracted to girls with bigger breasts? No we're not and even if bigger breasts was your thing you're not going to let the size of a woman's breasts be any kind of deciding factor are you? Well women are the same about cars, they're not all so strict about their preferences, the smart ones know that no one person will match every single one of them.
This may sound counter-intuitive to what I just said but the sensible side of you makes you sound like a cheapskate. Just tell people you actually have no use for one, which you don't. Tell them if you ever have a use for one then you'll get one.
You're far more likely to be a turn off if you sound like you only don't have one because you're cheap and not willing spend cash having a little fun. Not in the sense that you will splash on girls but that you may be too sensible and strict with your money so as to not even want to go on fun dates because they cost a lot.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): I does not have to do with the car or being able to drive. It has to do with the instinct of finding a suitable mate. To explain further, driving and owning a car is currently seen as a status of power or ownership, and that is what girls find it attractive because it makes you look like a provider even if they are not even looking for one.Now, I've lived on different countries and as a female I can tell you that the opinion matters depending where you live, on some cities it is necessary to drive as bus systems are scarce, so everyone even people your age own a car, and it is odd seeing someone without a car, and on some cities it is easier to take a train , a taxi or a bus because of traffic, so a guy your age not knowing how to drive it's okay, I've know people from NY that are 30 somethings and since they never needed to drive they never did! It really depends. If you don't need to drive right now you don't have to. I am around your age and my friends say they will love a guy with a car, but honestly most end up with a guy that does not own his own car yet. So, to be honest it is not a deciding factor, unless you were on your 20s or 30s.Also, I should add that a girl just looking for a guy with a nice car, is probably not the kind of girl you want to get involved with.
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