A
female
age
30-35,
*ary12
writes:my husband prefers watching porn to watching me.he doesnt bath with me anymore and spends the whole day downloading porn videos and the whole night watching and masturbating.he cant keep his erection anymore and each time after sex(thats when he decides to have it with me) im not satisfied.im now considering moving on or cheating cause i need to feel loved and cared for too.what should i do.im not feeling beatiful anymore,he doesnt spend time with me.alwaes with his friends and when i confront him he makes it seem like its my fault.im tired of the hurt and depression.what should i do
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female
reader, Candycane1234  +, writes (17 June 2012):
 Blaming you is cruel and horrible, I know what you mean when you say you feel like cheating but it's a totally different thing to someone masturbating to porn - I felt like you but cheating with a real person is way worse.
He has become addicted to the heightened stimulus. It has nothing to do with you, it's something in their head that has been changed by the porn it can rewire your brain so you can only get off on it. I never knew about all this stuff till I encountered it with my current boyfriend (who was a heavy user, then casual but had a weakness for it)
I had a porn addict boyfriend before but I never knew that this rewiring thing exsisted. The porn addict was horrible he still attempted to do stuff with me but I could tell he didn't like the fact I didn't behave like those girls. It got to the point where he didn't like me showing affection, he told me how to wear my hair, it was terrible, it seems your boyfriend is so addicted he's not even trying anymore.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2012): You should divorce him. Why would you even consider cheating? don't you think that will make you feel stuck neither here nor there - having a satisfying sex life but where your lover is not the person you share a home or life with?
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A
male
reader, Discovery  +, writes (17 June 2012):
If you can't resolve the issue move on, break up with him, and find a better partner.
Don't even think about cheating! It won't solve anything. It won't make you feel loved or wanted. It will be a piece of short-term pleasure that you'll inevitably regret later and really hate yourself for it. From that point there will be no going back. Really.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (17 June 2012):
 Yes, for some people, this is what porn does to them. I would suggest leaving. You have tried to confront him and he places blame on you. That is wrong and abusive.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 This is a case where porn is the problem. It sounds to me like he needs addiction conseling because what he is doing is feeding his addiction. Tell him how you feel first, all of how you feel just as you have told us here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): Have experienced this myself with someone recently, he loses his erection in the middle of me giving him attention! Closes his eyes & probably thinks about his porn because it comes back again. Only slept with him 3 times but he seems to love it because he always messages me trying to talk dirty & asks for repeat performances! It's bizarre. But I do know he watches A LOT of porn & masterbates a lot too.
I feel for you because it's your long term partner. I can at least just think it's rather odd & probably not go there again a 4th time!
That link is good, I just had a read.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 June 2012):
 I have many links on my profile that deal with pornography addiction and relationships/marriage, you should look through them. I also recommend you take a look at this website:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
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