I sometimes cringe at the thought of sex. Is this normal?
Q. I have to admit that I sometimes cringe at the thought of sex. I've been with may partner for almost 2.5 years, and yesterday he got really upset when I turned down the chance to be intimate. He says I always have an excuse and it's very annoying to ...
A. 18 July 2011: I have some unfortunate experience here, about 15 years worth. I hope my admitting that to you serves you well.
There is nothing wrong with having a low sex drive, but something you said above concerns me. That is, that you comply.
Intimac... (read in full...)
I am 24 and planning to lose my virginity to a prostitute. Any tips for a first-timer?
Q. Well I'm 24 and still a virgin and really tired of waiting. So I'm looking into losing my virginity to a prostitute in a few weeks. It's legal where I live and weekly STD testing are mandatory for prostitutes. I've given up on finding a girlfr...
A. 13 July 2011: You're not seeing the forest for the trees. I'm 40. Like it or not, I've had a bit more time to learn a few things. We are not saying the act of sex with a prostitute won't be fun, or at least I'm not saying that. You might have a far better 1st ... (read in full...)
I am 24 and planning to lose my virginity to a prostitute. Any tips for a first-timer?
Q. Well I'm 24 and still a virgin and really tired of waiting. So I'm looking into losing my virginity to a prostitute in a few weeks. It's legal where I live and weekly STD testing are mandatory for prostitutes. I've given up on finding a girlfr...
A. 11 July 2011: I've never tried this, but I have been to the strip bar in between girlfriends, which isn't completely different.
The one piece of advice I can give you is to expect to completely enjoy the experience 'in the now', but be careful not to regret i... (read in full...)
I don't wan't to leave my wife, but I have very strong feelings for this other woman. Is it possible to love two women and not hurt anyone?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, but appreciate everyone's candor and returns on their experience. I am and have been happily married for 20 years now with my french wife in Paris. I love my wife, we are close and loving and I am proud ...
A. 9 July 2011: I feel for you. I imagine this must be so difficult.
I don't believe you can get out of this situation without someone getting hurt. The noble thing for you to do, is to make sure its YOU who does the hurting.
Your wife deserves your fi... (read in full...)
I never have wet dreams. Is that unusual?
Q. I have never in my entire life had a "wet dream." Sometimes, I have dreamed about having sex, but it's not a common dream for me. I once told a friend that I never have these nocturnal emissions and he said I must just wank off too much. Well, I ...
A. 9 July 2011: You're normal.... (read in full...)
How do we approach our daughter about her relationship with an older guy?
Q. Help, we need advice on what advice to give our daughter. Our daughter just turned 16, and we've finally allowed her to date. She has gone out on group things with both guys and girls, but we've just allowed her to 'single' car date. Problem is this ...
A. 7 July 2011: Wow. I really can't speak from experience on any of this, as i don't have a daughter. However, there is NO WAY I'd permit her to go out with someone that age if I did.
Frankly, I would suggest you skip her and talk to him directly. In all hone... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says I am a bad lover. What can I do?
Q. I am a relatively inexperienced guy when it comes to sex. I have watched a lot of porn. I have read a lot about it both in books and on the Internet. I have friends in alternative lifestyles who exposed me to a lot of things in conversations - ...
A. 6 July 2011: I confess I only read half of your post. I got half way through and immediately started wondering if you are trying to have sex for the sake of sex, or if you are attending to her emotional needs. In my experience, women become more interesting in ... (read in full...)
Unrequited love.........
Q. Does anyone have any stories or experienced where they were/are in love with someone, and even if that person was/is interested, he/she was/is in love with someone else?...
A. 5 July 2011: At your age unrequited love is an unfortunate right of passage. It hit me so hard when I was 16, it really messed my life up for a long time.
Please do not believe its the end of the world, though it might feel like it. Don't allow this to ... (read in full...)
Does unrequited passion amuse beautiful women?
Q. We’ve all met them. Gorgeous, intelligent women, who have what outsiders would judge, as beautiful lives. They have success in family and professional life, and in love. I’ve met some who are not only gorgeous and intelligent, but outstanding ...
A. 5 July 2011: I'd like to hear more answers from more women. I appreciate the one's I've read so far. They are interesting and helpful.
Please though, don't make assumptions about me or any woman that may have inspired this question. This is really a... (read in full...)
Threesome damage and I knew better!
Q. So, another 3some gone bad. I have history with 3somes' they ruined my first marriage. After I stopped them, he went on to have affairs. I learned my lesson and for 15 years didn't have another while in a relationship. I met my sweetheart almos...
A. 5 July 2011: Wow - He utterly and completely disrespected you. My heart is out to you. Dump him, and don't look back.
I mean, you did sort of put yourself in the situation, but he clearly was pressuring you and disrespecting your wishes.... (read in full...)
My husband walked out on me and the kids, what do I do?
Q. My husband and i took the kids out to dinner on a saturday night. We had a great family dinner and then headed home. On our way home he stops at a local grocery store. The kids and I stay in the car. The kids decide that they would like to give ...
A. 5 July 2011: I am not sure what kind of opinion you are looking for. It sounds to me like you need compassion. I suggest you seek some moral support from any place you can find it. A church, a therapist, a friend. You and especially your children, are going ... (read in full...)
He said I was playing games but I really do like him and I want him back!
Q. I feel really silly doing this but I don't no what else to do.. Sooo here it goes. I work part time as a barmaid in my local pub, and Friday just gone I worked a late shift as we had a big family reunion party in the Pub, and all night long a guy ...
A. 4 July 2011: Don't let this guy manipulate you. You did nothing wrong. It sounds like he is only interested in getting you alone. Introduce him to your friends, and take your time. You are worth the wait, right?
Tell him straight out why you are uncomfor... (read in full...)
Successful cheaters only, tell me your stories.
Q. Hi, I was curious to hear of stories from women who have had affairs with married men and got their happy ending. Please no slander or judgements, all I would like to hear about is stories that have come out the other side were a married man has ...
A. 3 July 2011: In fairness to the OP, she only wanted to hear stories where the mistress got her way, and she and her new hubby lived 'happily ever after'. I can't help but wonder if this ever happens myself. I know it must. I never cheated on my Ex. But our m... (read in full...)
I accidentally kicked a ball in my GF's face while playing football! Now she won't talk to me!
Q. Two weeks back while playing soccer, my shot on goal hit my girlfriend on face, she was standing close to goalpost, which left her in extreme pain and swelling. It was an incident and I made apology but she made issue of it and dumped saying that I ...
A. 2 July 2011: I once accidental hit my son in the face with a football, while he was standing near goal. I have a hard shot. He screamed in pain, and asked why I would do that to him. I told him how sorry I was, and he forgave me 5 minutes later. Unconditi... (read in full...)
I found gay porn on my boyfriends laptop and he is getting closer to his gay friend, help!
Q. I love my boyfriend very much but I found gay porn on his laptop a few months ago. After much talking and thinking, I decided to ignore it and I hadn't really thought about it. My boyfriend claims it was spam and had no idea why it was on there...
A. 2 July 2011: I think your fears are well justified. You are not insecure. You have cause and reason to suspect your boyfriend.
Based on what you are telling us, I share your concern. It sounds to me that there is something going on here. I can think of... (read in full...)
Why is my husband comparing our marriage to my best friend's?
Q. hi there, i've been married for merely two months and already I'm miserable! For the past two weeks we've beem arguing none stop. last nite he told me that I should be more like my best friend (who also recently got married) and be more of a woman ...
A. 30 June 2011: The first year of marriage is very difficult. My experience tells me, based on what he has said, that the two of you are in for a VERY rough ride. The comments he made indicate that there is some expectation he has of a wife, and ideal. It sounds ... (read in full...)
I used to think he loved me, flaws and all
Q. MODERATOR'S NOTE: 2 Questions from same asker combined. Question for men. If you are watching a movie and a nude woman is in the scene, does it turn you on? what does it make you feel or think? Truthfully, I never thought too much about this befo...
A. 29 June 2011: OP- Men are visual creates. We are stimulated by sexual imagery. So yes, we often get a little turned on by nude scenes on T.V. Does it enrage us with passion? Not likely. It's just a little turn on. But then, all men are different.
It so... (read in full...)
I have noticed some changes in her, what could be the reason?
Q. I met her in the internet since 10 months ago , we live so far away from each others , we clicked so fast , and we felt we should meet up , prior to that we felt love but we wanted to see if that's real or not , we met after 3 months of chatting in ...
A. 29 June 2011: Don't go cold on her by any means, but maybe try backing off a bit and see how she reacts. She may in fact be questioning the relationship. Which any sane person should do, before they get into very serious long term deals.
I always say comm... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has changed his mind about keeping the baby, and now he and his family are ganging up on me forcing me to have an abortion!
Q. my boyfriend and his parents are 'forcing' me into an abortion but i dont want to go through with it. what should i do? im 17 years old and im 5 weeks pregnant. my boyfriend told his parents i may be pregnant before we even knew. when i found out...
A. 29 June 2011: I didn't read the previous comments so I apologize if this is repetitive. I would leave for awhile, maybe get some legal help. You should not be pressured into this. Find someone to get on your side. I don't know what organizations ar... (read in full...)
Legitimate trust issue or commitment-phobic?
Q. I am almost 41 years old, never been married, never even close really. In the past, I tended to go from one girl to the next...break ups do litter my past probably more than others. All of my friends are married or have a marriage ofr two under ...
A. 29 June 2011: I understand you having a trust issue at this point. It seems like she deflected her guilt over meeting up with this guy on you, telling you you are having trouble with commitment. The only thing I would ask is, did she go see him because she is ... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 28 June 2011: I know not knowing is killing you. I know how you feel. However, the right thing to do here, is to let her know, just once, that you are concerned for her, and thinking of her (in a card or note in this situation) and then for you to stay low ... (read in full...)
How do I keep my past from ruining my future?
Q. So Ive dated every type of man out there.. the hopeless romantic, the badboy, the future urban outdoorsman, the vain, and the abusive. But if you were to ask me to conduct a relationship with a "geek", I wouldnt know where to begin. To make a l...
A. 28 June 2011: Could you describe for us the qualities about this person that lead you to this stereo type? Does he recite Monty Python skits front to back? Or is he a nose picker? Does he have an action figure collection or does he need to check with his mother ... (read in full...)
Why are women less likely to give a blowjob or hand job when your in a relationship with them?
Q. why do women let me finger them and have sex with them but they wont give me a blowjob. I have gotten blowjobs from women without even asking, these females where either friends or strippers or random drunk chicks and the strippers didnt even make ...
A. 27 June 2011: You need to learn how to communicate your desires to your girlfriends. Women don't want to be "fingered" as a reward for giving you a bj. Make her breakfast, wash her car, clean the house, etc. etc. Tell her how much you enjoy receiving oral, and ... (read in full...)
He is my FWB and now he tells me that he cares for me and likes my company, what's that about?
Q. Hey Cupids, I've been having this friend with benefits for nearly 6 months now. We meet twice a week, watch a movie, have dinner or lunch, we talk a lot and basically have a good time- with some sex involved. I'm a little confused though because t...
A. 27 June 2011: I think its his way of saying, that you mean much more to him and that, while he might love the sex, doesn't need that to feel complete in your presence. I would take it as a compliment. ... (read in full...)
I want to marry him but not his kids!
Q. I love my boyfriend hugely and we are engaged to be married. He has two children from a previous relationship ,5 and 4. Though the children are relatively well behaved and love me I find it really difficult to accept. I never want children (though i ...
A. 27 June 2011: I will go so far as to say you haveno right to marry that man after what you've just admitted. You will ruin those kids, and that would make you an awful person. ... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 27 June 2011: I agree not to pester her, but I think showing her you are concerned is noble. Send her a card, and tell her you are sorry you missed her, and that you'll be thinking of her during her difficult time. Offer yourself to her if she needs anything. ... (read in full...)
What do men think if a woman asks them out?
Q. Question for the guys; what do you think of girls asking guys out first? It's just that there's this guy in the year above me at 6th form (he's 18, going to university soon, I'm 17). He's most definitely the cocky confident type but I think he's sli...
A. 23 June 2011: I could care less about who asks who. I've been asked out by women, and its fine by me. Nice actually. Go ahead and do it. ... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 23 June 2011: You are 30 something and this is your first girlfriend? Wow - I understand your anxiety. I am so rooting for you dude. Good Luck. Chill out. Seriously. Be cool. I know that's far easier to say than do, and frankly I have to follow my own advice ... (read in full...)
I want to see her again. How can I avoid coming on too strong?
Q. I'm just looking for some guidance really. I met a girl over a dating website some time ago and we've been talking for a few months now. We finally had the chance to meet yesterday, so we went out and we seemed to have a very nice evening. We got ...
A. 23 June 2011: It doesn't sound like you are coming on too strong at all. If she were refusing your advances, then I would say you were.
I would set up another date with her within the next day or two, then let the anticipation build a bit up to the date if ... (read in full...)
I'm not usually one to break up families, but I can't help the way I feel about him.
Q. I've got a bit of a dilemma and would really like some advice. I've fallen in love with a man who is already in a relationship with another woman. He said he loves me too, but the only problem is, is that he lives in Wales, and I live in England....
A. 23 June 2011: I've agonized extensively about a similar situation. I've gone back and forth with it. Your situation is different because the target of your affection knows full well what your intent is.
I say you need to make it clear to him how you feel, bu... (read in full...)
Listen to my head or my heart?
Q. I need some advice on whether it's best to follow head or heart when making a decision about an unplanned pregnancy, please :( I found out at the doctor's today I'm 2-3 weeks pregnant, unplanned, and a big surprise as I have been taking the contr...
A. 23 June 2011: Keep the baby and don't regret it. Don't assume it won't be without its challenges, but you have love and you have health. That baby needs you, even if it requires you to take a leap of faith. Follow your heart. Life doesn't always follow the ... (read in full...)
I gave up work but now my partner is growing resentful despite saying he wanted to be the breadwinner!
Q. I have been with my partner for 3.1/2 years. Previously I was married for 20 years. I am 47 and have had my own business for 8 of the years I was married the rest of the time I had children and a home. Never was I made to feel like my job as a ...
A. 22 June 2011: I feel like there might be some info missing here. Why would he want to be the bread winner, and then act like a jerk when you quit your job?
What is he saying that is embarrassing you?
Tell him you'll go back to work if that will make him ha... (read in full...)
He is bisexual and chose a heterosexual life with me but is missing out and even brought up the subjects of threesomes.
Q. We've been together for 11 years and have a beautiful daughter together we both adore and cherish. He's a Bisexual man who has chosen a heterosexual life with me. But I fear he is missing his bi lifestyle. recently he's brought up the subjects of ...
A. 21 June 2011: I agree with your assessment. He is looking for ways to fulfill his sexual desires, and include you in the process. It's actually a back handed compliment. He is concerned about you and your feelings and looking for a solution to his problem.
... (read in full...)
The fiance and pornographic material
Q. I have a question and maybe someone could answer for me. I am engaged to a wonderful man. It took us awile to get where we're at right now. I moved in with my fiance back in January. He gave me his email password to show me that I could trust ...
A. 21 June 2011: I would not worry about what his friends send him through e-mail. He may open it, and then just delete it. He may get a laugh from it.
"I am engaged to a wonderful man. "
Take that statement to heart. Stop worrying about what he is looki... (read in full...)
I seem to have stopped loving my husband entirely. Where have my feelings gone? Why can't I rekindle them?
Q. It's been 10 years since I met my husband, and I've been faithful to him all this time. We've had a difficult relationship. We used to fight constantly. We've both caused each other a lot of suffering and heartbreak. We've lived through poverty ...
A. 20 June 2011: On the sex issue...
If you are dreading sex with your husband, and you secretly don't want it, then when you are having it, your going to start associating the feelings of sex with bad feelings. Psych 101. It's going to make the road to enjoying... (read in full...)
How do I tell my sister in law that her husband is cheating on her?
Q. My sister in law's husband (My wifes sister) is cheating on her. He is 50 and he is didling their once babysitter who is in her early 20's. They have 4 kids (3 through 18). He told me he was going to stop but I have confirmed again it is still going ...
A. 20 June 2011: I think the decision comes down to your relationship with her. I think anyone would want to know if they are being cheated on.
Would you want to know? I know this is a bit of a difficult comparison since she is your wife's sister, but what if ... (read in full...)
Disappointed in engagement ring, am I being selfish?
Q. I'm interested in your opinions. My boyfriend was engaged before he met me. He bought her a very beautiful $7000 ring, for which he spent all his savings on. The relationship failed and she returned the ring. After us being together for ov...
A. 20 June 2011: I really think this man has insulted you. I think you need to stand up for yourself and walk away with your head held high. I'm usually the last person in the world to say something like this over the value of a ring, but in this situation it was ... (read in full...)
I want to keep the baby but he wants an abortion!
Q. Hello readers... I've recently found out that I am pregnant. I'm thrilled but really hurt at the same time. The father on the other hand is upset and want me to have an abortion. BIG PROBLEM, because I don't want to. I just don't understand how he ...
A. 19 June 2011: Keep the baby, without a doubt, dump the man, and stay away from him until after the baby is born. ... (read in full...)
Disappointed in engagement ring, am I being selfish?
Q. I'm interested in your opinions. My boyfriend was engaged before he met me. He bought her a very beautiful $7000 ring, for which he spent all his savings on. The relationship failed and she returned the ring. After us being together for ov...
A. 19 June 2011: Wow. This is a hard pill to swallow for sure. I agree that the value of the ring should never be an issue, but in this situation it kind of is. First off, a diamond is almost standard for engagements. Secondly, he sank the money into a car ... (read in full...)
I went to a strip club and my wife suspects. Should I come clean?
Q. I have been with my wife (dating and married) for 19 years now. We have had our ups and downs and during a down period (about 10 years into our relationship) I went to a strip club for the first time. I always had this bad idea about strip clubs an...
A. 19 June 2011: I see where you are coming from, OP. The strip club issue is very personal and private to every couple.
The way I see it is this. You went knowing full well that your wife is disgusted by this. There are many married men who go with their wi... (read in full...)
I seem to have stopped loving my husband entirely. Where have my feelings gone? Why can't I rekindle them?
Q. It's been 10 years since I met my husband, and I've been faithful to him all this time. We've had a difficult relationship. We used to fight constantly. We've both caused each other a lot of suffering and heartbreak. We've lived through poverty ...
A. 18 June 2011: Have you considered counseling?
The one thing I have a hard time getting from your comments, is whether or not you really WANT to love your husband regardless of whether or not you do. I understand losing the romance, but love is so much mor... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 15 June 2011: I think you are okay to ask her out in person, 1 time. Yes prepare for rejection, but don't go in there with your tail between your legs.
Have a bit of a plan. Talk to her a bit before you ask her out. Better yet, go in there with your mat... (read in full...)
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