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My ex-boyfriend is harrassing me! please help!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 July 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 17 July 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey, I'm only 15 years old and my 17 year old ex- boyfriend is harrassing me. I ended the relationship just about a month ago for no mega dramatic reason but I just knew his wasnt for me, we had been together about a year and a half and now he's just refusing to let go! at first it was indearing but now he's been texting me and phoning me every day,constantly online messaging and non-stop bugging my friends, he also makes incredibly hysterical statuses and even though its all calmed down a little bit now im not sure whether to report him, i said i would wait until the extreme of him waiting outside school for me and stuff and i did care about him, but its been going for all this time which is quite disturbing. I've also been completely ignoring him the whole time because i want space from it, and if i give him an inch he'll take a mile. what sha'll i do?!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012):

You should tell the police about it, seriously. Sometimes things like that get very dangerous.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 July 2012):

Honeypie agony auntTalk to your parents. They need to know.

Delete him from all personal websites, add his e-mail address to your spam folder, Block him from everything you can, (some cell phone have free apps you can download to block numbers) and report him if he keeps doing, maybe he needs a little talking to from adults.

Keep all the texts posts, e-mails.

Tell your friend to ignore him.

Next time you see him, tell him if he doesn't back off you will report him for harassment.

And last but not least, stay of any of his websites, block his posts (if he is friends on YOUR friend's pages.)

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 July 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwhy have you not blocked his number?

and blocked him on facebook/twitter

if you block him you won't know he's trying to contact you or being a drama queen with his status updates

continue to ignore him

he's just being a drama queen trying to get your attention...

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (16 July 2012):

The Realist agony auntSorry to here about this. Friends of mine have definitely been in your situation before. You should definitely keep ignoring all of his messages. Don't reply to anything he sends you no matter what but save it in case things get worse and you need it as evidence. If he approaches you give him the same simple answer that it is over and that's all you have to say for him. Just repeat that till he leaves and don't bother getting all worked up over this guy. Your friends should do the same one line answer until he will eventually give up.

I hope he leaves you alone. Remember the worst thing you can do is to get dramatic back at him because he will tend to read it as you still have feelings for him. Just stay calm and neutral. Best of luck to you.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2012):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntYou are right to ignore him.

Are you on good terms with his parents? Perhaps you could have a word with his mum and explain what has been happening and how it makes you feel. She could have a word with him.

If he's making derogatory comments about you online then you have every right to report him to moderators etc.

I know this sounds dramatic and a last resort, but if this continues or escalates you have the option of contacting the police. I have experience of this with an ex who just wouldn't go away. I felt harassed and intimidated. I went to the police station and made a statement. I made it clear that I didn't want to get the guy into trouble but that I was being harassed. The policeman phoned the guy, spoke to him and told him to back off. That brought an end to the months of text messages and calls. I'd threatened to report him to the police but he took no notice until I actually did it.

As I say, that might sound a bit heavy and if you can get the message to him by some other means like his mum then it might put an end to it. I hope so. You don't deserve this.

Hope it all works out.

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (16 July 2012):

cute angel agony auntHarassing a minor?well first off that's an offence..and if you do report he might get into deep trouble..

What I would suggest is talk to some elders who you can trust who can talk to his family and help the boy get through thos break up..

Or if you don't want to involve the elders which I think would be the best thing to do in this situation is try talkin to him once last time..say hey I'v been nice enough to let all the things you do slide through just because I respect whatever we shared,but now your crossing your limits and I won't tolerate this anymore,I am gona warn you if you text me call me or I see you loitering around I'm gona report you,don't make me take harsh steps,just be mature and let me go or I may have to do things which might get you in trouble so don't push me to do iT..

Good luck x

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A female reader, IamJess United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2012):

IamJess agony auntCarry on ignoring him is the best thing you can do, do not even give him one bit of attention because he will take it the wrong way and expect that you suddenly miss him or something. If anything weird carries on I'd report him, but I think he's just getting over you, missing you and stuff, and wanting to get your attention because your ignoring him. I think you should just tell your parents and stuff and let it die down, nobody likes breaking up with someone, and he was obviously quite attached to you, but just leave it and hopefully it will cool down.

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