A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have no one to love, I feel so lonely. There was this one guy That I really liked, I gave him my number, that ended becuase he never called me. I am a really shy girl, and I find it hard to talk to any guy I really like, I am 19, and me being shy really holds me back. It's a trait of mine that I really hate, I haven't been kissed before, i'm still a virgin. I feel depressed before I see everyone in couples kissing. When I fell in love with that guy i knew it was really hard to get over him. So whenever I fall for a guy, I always end up getting hurt. I just don't want to get hurt anymore, I don't want to be shy anymore, I feel so alone. Help me please, anyone?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for everyones responces, I will have to wait for things to happen. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): I agree with Gerald. Internet dating isn't for everyone, but it can be for some people. I think it can be a good starting point to meet people that you might be more comfortable with. Plus you have the factor of being in the comfort of your own room or home away from what you might think are criticising eyes and reactions. It's a good shield/fence for yourself. Definitely think about his suggestions.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (10 December 2006):
 This is a bizarre answer that I'm about to give you, but it's all I can come up with for the painfully shy.
Have you considered using the internet? Now, I --
OK this is India's BF. I think I have some good advice for you, because I, too, am painfully shy. The thing is, more people than you probably think are also really shy, and are afraid to approach someone they like or say something because they fear rejection. It's totally natural. Nobody wants to get humiliated in public, right?
Here's how I cured mine.
Starting out (I was about 20 at the time and just out of a long relationship), I really hated being alone. I was so afraid that I would die all alone and unloved. Completely depressed. I felt like all I needed was someone to love me, then everything would be alright.
But what I realized that truly made a difference, was that I needed to be comfortable with myself as a lone, single person before I could really succeed in a relationship. I eventually began to live for myself, comfortable in being a single guy. I then focused my energy on other areas of my life... I traveled abroad, I learned another language, I started reading books, I worked hard on my career. I found out that all this stuff was really a lot of fun, and I even came to think that if I had someone tying me down, it wouldn't be as fulfilling. Of course, once I started to feel that way, suddenly I had girls knocking down my door.
Relationships can be fantastic. They can also suck, depending with who you're with. But you'll never have a good one without finding yourself, and being happy by yourself. Don't rely on a significant other to make you a complete person, you have to do that yourself. Once people see that you are a happy, lively person, you will be HOT. It will radiate from you. Trust me, I went through a TON of anguish and depression before I realized this. Be yourself, love yourself, and enjoy life!!!
-- Back to India
My boyfriend gave you really great advice. Listen to him!!
Anyhow, I'd also like to add in, what I was saying in the beginning is that maybe you ought to use the internet as a way to meet guys. You seem really eloquent, and maybe it would be easier for you to communicate with someone through written words at first. You can write letters back and forth, and get to know each other on a personal basis before you meet face to face. Then you'll have some things to talk about and you'll be more comfortable with the person you're meeting.
The internet, all though great can also be very dangerous. I met my boyfriend through it and he's great (and gorgeous... not all people on the internet look like frogs)... but there ARE creepy people. There ARE dangerous men (and women, I'm sure). So be careful... but meeting guys in a bar is just as dangerous.
So there you go.
Life will get better, sweetheart.
xxIndia (&Gerald)
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A
female
reader, Katylouise +, writes (10 December 2006):
There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you are. I think everyone is shy at some point in there lives. You need to relax the man of your dreams will come along all in good time you cant rush these things i should know ive been single for four years now. You seem a bright young girl with all your life ahead of you. Look in the mirror and tell yourself your beautiful and if noone accepts you as you are its thier loss. When you learn to love and accept yourself thats when others will love you too.And until you accept yourself then you will be stuck in the same situation darling. Put on your fave outfit a bit of make up your fave perfume listen to your fave music and pamper yourself to make you feel good worksfor me every time.
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