A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello need a bit of advice. me and my partner have been together for 2 years now and or sex life has takin a real nose dive since we had our daughter 9 months ago. we're both too tired to do anything! we're both only young (early twenties) and i really want to try and get this back we used to be so passionate. I still fancy him and he obviously still fancies me although my confidence in my body is very low after i had my daughter. i want to feel sexy and young again but everything i put on i just think it makes me look fat. i just dont know what to do. we can't go away because we NEVER have a babysitter so my baby's always there and im afraid i'll wake him up when were at it. so sex is very controled and quiet! any advice atol would be geat.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Funny enough, I just watched an entire TV show about sex after pregnancy.
It's totally normal to have your sex drive take a dive after having a baby. Suddenly, you're juggling a job, a relationship, midnight baby feeds and you're not sleeping as much. During the day, your heart and soul and physical effort are all going towards your new baby... of course it's going to take a toll on your sex life. When you go to bed - you just want to sleep!
Your baby is probably nearing the age when she's ready for a babysitter. Maybe when she turns one and you're comfortable enough leaving her with someone. Use the next few months to find a sitter that you're comfortable with.
Ask your partner if he would mind watching your daughter for an hour & a half a day to allow you to go to the gym, or take a run - or even take a nap, if you feel that would help. You need to feel good about yourself again.
When you can get a babysitter, try to go out together once a week. Maybe once every two weeks. Just find time to make for each other. Go to dinner and a movie... or stay at home and have a night together. Just the two of you. Make sure you really trust your babysitter so that you're not worrying all night.
After having a baby, it can take up to a year and a half to get yourself back on track, hormonally. You'll be alright. Just be patient with your partner and with yourself. If you love each other, things will be right again.
xxIndia
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