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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I am 20 years old, I have never been clubbing or to a crazy party. I would love to go but my parents are extremely strict, and I'm not allowed out past midnite. So I just want to know what really goes on there? I've been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years now, and he's started going to clubs and bars, and I just want to know what do guys actually do at these places. I know he drinks, and would get drunk, but what really goes on? I feel like a loser asking this, but can someone please fill me in on what happens in clubs, because I doubt my parents will change within the next 24hrs. Thanks for your help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): I think you should talk to your parents and now. You are an adult now and not a kid- and if they don't like it thats their problem! You've grown up! If they refuse- go out anyway- don't lie to them though- always important as if you do you will become the bad guy in all this. Suggest going out on a date with your bf- go for a meal and then on to a quiet bar. Have a drink (don't get to drunk though cos it's important you stay in control in new environments). Make sure you go with people who your comfortable with. You want to feel at home in a bar and not like you don't belong there. Then- as you get more comfortable and ready- go to nightclubs with mates and dance and have fun!! Thats the main part of it. Make sure you have fun. And enjoy your life!! Your parents will come round- just make sure they know you love them and they'll be there for you no matter what- thats what parents are for at the end of day. Have fun xxxxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006): i know its not as easy, but have tried to move out on ur own and live ur own life by ur own rules? 20 years old is to old to be under the clutches of ones parents still. most parents let go at the age of 18. u need to talk to them about it.
and bout the clubs and what not. they can be fun. there is a lot of drinking, dancing, drugs, loud music, lots of lights, and lots of ppl mingling. most of the time however the bar is fun when ur young and single and then dies down once u get older or hook up. oh and there is hooking up at bars too.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006):
Loud pounding music that where one out of every 4 songs you'll hate and will put your teeth on edge. Probably dark with flashing disorienting lights. You'll be unable to hold a conversation because the music is so loud, so basically you look at people and nod.
Avoid the pretty bar tenders because they dont know to make drinks. Tip heavily to start off so you can get the bartenders attention when you want it. Start with two stiff drinks so you can tolerate the environment, then switch to club soda for at least an hour.
Some people do enjoy it, so good luck!
Oh yeah, usually the discussion is about who isnt there, who was just there, did you see x, and what place everyone should move to next. Dont let this throw you, the next place will be basically the same so you'll wonder why you moved but thats just the way its done.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (13 December 2006):
 Clubs and bars? Is he going with friends or by himself?
When you go with friends, usually it involves getting drunk - like you said, and talking really loudly over music. Sometime you dance, or whatever... when there's dancing, usually it's a pretty thick crowd of people, and you have to hold your drink above your head so it won't spill by knocking into somebody.
It's pretty much loud... and exhilerating... fun but takes a lot of energy with you.
People don't sit around and make out in bars or clubs, if that's what you're worried about. People certainly can, but trips to the bar (especially the bar - that's more of a guy thing), can be a purely plantonic event. Just go to the bar, have a few drinks, hang out, talk, watch "the game"... whatever.
You're over 18, you should talk to your parents about loosening that rule. I guess if you're still under their roof, but midnight seems a little extreme. You're young, but you're probably pretty responsible. They should extend that curfew at least a bit.
But who am I to judge?
Besides, you're not missing too much. A bunch of drunkies getting loud and obnoxious. Really.
xxIndia
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006): First, you're not a loser. By personal definition, a loser is someone who does something to benefit him or herself at the expense of others, to harm others with sole selfish reasons, or to create an action that harms others for the sake of amusing oneself.
Second, clubs usually are loud and full of people who like to drink and dance. It's usually 'dark' with a lot of different coloured lights glaring everywhere - yeah how contradicting was that eh? 8/
In some countries, where there is no smoking ban, clubs and bars can be super smokey and there isn't much of a chance of people to talk. Some clubs like here or in Asia, there are games you can play such as 10-5, dice rolling, and of course, the usual drink til your drop games.
Personally, I've only gone a few times because of some 'special' occasion. Otherwise, I rather lounge than club.
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