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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have a very healthy sex life. However my problem is that I don't get the same "satisfaction" from intercourse as he does. He doesn't know this. Last year he bought me a vibrator as a present, and I'm worried I'm a bit addicted to it! He doesnt know how often i use it (which is about 3 times a week) he thinks i just use it as a toy when we are having sex. I feel i have to hide it so it doesn't dent his pride. am i addicted....? is 3 times a week in between sex too often to be healthy??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 3 times a week isn't too bad.
You should watch the movie "the Oh in Ohio" - it came out this week and it's about a woman JUST like you. Exactly with your predicament. It was pretty funny... Parker Posey, Paul Rudd, Danny Devito, Mischa Barton...
I digress.
Anyhow, I really don't think you've made an addiction out of your vibrator. Hey - I love my boyfriends penis, but let's face it. It doesn't vibrate.
You say your sex life is healthy, and I'd agree with you. It sounds healthy to me. Don't feel guilty...
When you start getting totally disconnected from sex because of your vibrator, when you lose interest in your significant other because you rather be with your vibrator - that's when you have a problem. But in this situation, it's okay to have to penises in your life.
Rock and roll, girl.
xxIndia
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 There is no reason to hide the fact you enjoy masturbating, regardless which tool you use to reach orgasm. To some men, this is a turn on.
However, if you feel "guilty" you do not have to tell him how often you masturbate.
Three times a week is not to much, each person is different though.
At the end of the day, it is what you are confortable with, your body, you pleasure, you decide. It is not as if you are betraying your boyfriend.
Just enjoy it!
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (6 December 2006):
 I dont think its abnormal to be using it that amount in between... What harm are you doing ? So long as its not impacting your sex life and your still enjoying a healthy sex life with him then theres no problem... im sure he has the odd shuffle in between sexaual encounters with you, most men do, so i wouldnt worry to much... the thign with a vibrator is its much easier to just use to stimulate the clitorus with, which is the only way some women can orgasm, some cant orgasm through pentrative sex alone, so use the vibe for the clitoral purpose... If your not getting the big "O"during pentrative sex, may i suggest a purchasing a loveegg,or a vibrating ring for his penis, that will stimulate the clit at the same time, and will enhance your lovemaking and enable you to get as much out of your sex life as he is... you dont even have to tell him the reason why, just buy one and say you wanted to try something new!!
Have fun!! x x
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A
female
reader, Nikita +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Dear Anon,
This isn't a problem as long as your sex life is still healthy and you don't admit to your b/f that it gives you more satisfaction! A vibrator moves so much faster than a man's penis that it is bound to give you more satisfaction. You don't need to tell him anything. Its private to you and using it with your partner as well is a good thing if it enchances your sex life. 3 times a week isn't too much really. its all down to your personal needs. I wouldn't worry about it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): Not at all, i use mine about 4 times in between sex. My boyfriend doesnt mind this, i find a clit vibrator on its own is fab!!!!
Have fun!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): Use it as you please. Don't tell him what he doesn't need to know...he won't believe you anyhow (that he's not measuring up to a vibrator). Your use of a vibrator in addition to your sexual relationship with your bf meets your needs. That's all that should matter.
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