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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Has anyone broken up with their first real love only to get back together for good later on in life? I love him with all my heart and Im finding it possible that my heart keeps breaking more and more every day he's not here. its been seven months and im still crying myself to sleep every night. He's come back to me twice during this time, each time more confused than the last. I honestly believe that with time he will learn to sort himself out and stop running away, but i dont know how much more heartbreak i can stand. I know he loves me, and every ounce of my being is telling me that we are meant to be, to just hold on a little longer, that we will work out in the end. Ive been a complete wreck the past couple of months and ive been seeing a psychologist to work through it. im focusing on school, and spending time with friends, and doing everything i possibly can to get myself back together again. i even met a great guy who practically offered me his heart on a silver platter, but i turned him down because i still love my ex. he was my first love, my first everything and i was his. i know we are both extremely young, but i have no doubts in my mind, i know he is the one im supposed to end up with. i just really need to hear stories from people in similar situations. i love him so much and i know that deep down he's still in love with me, but he is so lost and ive let him go find his way. i think the only thing that will ease the pain i feel and this incredible whole in my chest is knowing that someone out there, just one person, has gone through this and after some time apart(and im talking years) reconnected with their first love and actually made it work. im holding on to a single shred of hope, because at this point, its all that will get me through this.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (4 March 2009):
 My first true love and I broke up after a year and a half, and oh my Gosh, if my heart wasn't crushed. That pain lasted for a good year, just me constantly weepy and in a daze. It was rough, Thank God my friends could stand me after it all, because I know I got awfully repetitive and wasn't the greatest friend... but I really loved him. So much, my heart just wanted to explode that entire year. I was waiting for him to come back to me, and he didn't. He moved on to the next girl, and the next and the next, while I sat watching thinking "how can you move on??!??!? Why do you get all the girls while I'm still here miserable?". It was the WORST!
Did we get back together? No. We didn't. Finally, I got over him and realized that we broke up for a reason. And then, after I moved on, then we became good friends - in fact, 8 years later we're still really great friends, and we have fun reminiscing about our relationship. We laugh at it now, and I guess I got the last laugh - I'm marrying a fantastic guy (worlds better than he ever was), and he's still doing the same ol' thing he always was... flitting from girl to girl.
What I'm saying is that the pain WILL go away. And eventually you WILL feel better. And you're going to find a new guy who makes you feel even better than he did and you're going to be so happy that relationship ended to make room for the next and better one. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to be pissed off and it's completely okay to be heartbroken. But, you can't sit around waiting for him to come back... a watched pot never boils, you know? I think it's great that you're spending time with friends and focusing on school - that's the right thing to be doing right now. And if it's too soon to start dating, that's your choice.
But rest assured that life will get better and eventually you'll be on the uphill climb.
Good luck, sweetness!
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (4 March 2009):
 Let her go and tell her you'd like to see how she is in a few years. Just let her know she was your first love then move on. Try to leave on good terms.
My first love is now one of my best friends. We did not see each other for about 6 or 7 years then one day she called me and I was totally surprised.
It was nice to hear her voice again too.
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (4 March 2009):
 Hey honey!
Dude I was totally there when I was 19 as well. I thought she was the one, we were getting married, grow old together and everything. It took me a year to get over it, and it took me meeting my next girlfriend a year and a half later to REALLY get over it.
She was my first too...my first kiss, my first real love.
But she broke my heart, and she had to, and I am thankful she did. Oh my God how i changed between 20 and 22, and then 22 and now!! I am 25 now, and the person i used to be is sooo much different, and i look back and think wow...i was so naive.
Heres what i would say. Keep crying yourself to sleep. Feel the pain, it hurts but at least your alive, and at least you have friends to hang out with and share in your sorrow every day. Now focus on change. The quicker you mature and change, the quicker you will meet that new person who will rock your world. And be happy for your ex, be happy that he will grow and change too, that both of you will meet new people because life is about change....some relationships last while others fall apart beyond our control, it is the nature of life. The sooner you accept it, the happier you will grow.
Trust me, im going through a breakup Tonight, right now. It hurts soo bad but i can already see the light, because of what i have learned since i was 19.
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