A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married 19 years and it seems we are drifting apart in the bedroom, she doesn't seem to want to make love any more. What can I do to corect this? drifter Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): there maybe somethings changed in her mind but when i askher she just says nothing is wrong i probally am the most affectionate one in this relationship i am the one who tells her that i love her not her and as for giving her a kiss out of the blue i do it has been a very long time since she has oppened up to me or showed any affection and i am affraid to lose her it is very tough to fill you into more details but i will continue to keep my spirits up and hope all turns for the better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): Not having any information about your life with your wife I thought i'd suggest all the things that were missing in my marriage before i left.
I think the way back to your wife is to make her feel wanted outside of the bedroom. Talk to her, show an interest in her day, help with household chores. Show affection without expecting it to lead to sex. Have nights out together, plan a holiday etc Slowly she will feel valued and the sex side of your marriage will pick up.
best of luck mate
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (5 March 2009):
 I think everyone is right, this is a phase people go through at various points along a relationship road. I think it's just an indication that your relationship needs a big boost. You're stuck in a rut, maybe she's getting bored or just not feeling as excited about it. I think you just need to bring some fun and excitement back into your relationship, like when you were first married. Do new things together, try new foods, plant one on her in public, or just because she comes in the room.
Maybe she's just feeling a little lackluster. Your relationship has dulled. I think that getting the relationship boiling again will really help. The extra effort will help - and she should get into it too and start getting enthused. Be the guy who starts it up!! Take charge and take her on a date to somewhere new and fun. The romance will translate into a new found appreciation for your relationship, being together and yes, making sweet, sweet love. Rowr!
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, coochy78 +, writes (5 March 2009):
 This will happen in live. everyone has this problem at some point in time. just make her happy anyway you can. show her you love her and tell her. look for sign of her seeing someone else!!
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A
male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (5 March 2009):
 I think both repliers (damluvaam and OtherStarfish) are right in a way. You are not providing us with enough information to get a full idea of the situation here. Providing us with more details would allow us to help you defuse the situation better.
However, if you wish to remain detail-free (so to say), then OtherStarfish is right. Talk to her. You should know what it is she wants in the hay, but something else is going on with her. And better yet, ask yourself: what has changed in the past month? Past 2 months? Past 6 months?
Really, if you guys have been married for 19 years, then something small is adding stress to one or both of you. This is probably a phase and might pass, but you two need to just be open with each other.
Hope that helps. :)
Oh, and by the way: Congrats on 19 years of marriage!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): Talk to her.
Sit her down and find out what she wants, what she likes and why - hold her sometimes, just don't try anything, hold her, talk to her. find out - ask her is she like being held. kiss her gently talk to her.
Sorry not much to go on - but this would be a start.
Star.x.
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