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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Is this guy not into me because I'm pregnant?
Q. ok theres this guy i grew up with, small town, itll be 3 yrs ago in jan that we had really hung out, he had been in Iraq n lived in Arizona at the time, but was back to visit family. well we had be talking back and forth for a couple weeks so i ...
A. 10 August 2011: It could be that it is the baby - not many men like women who have so much baggage, and very few men want to end up raising another man's child hence why a lot of men would steer clear of single mothers.
It is clear he does like you - the thin... (read in full...)
He wouldn't give me his phone number when I asked for it. Is he not interested in me?
Q. so I've been going to this bar for 2 months now and I've made really good friends with pretty much every single guy that works there. the bartender might have a small crush on me but I'm interested in one of the security guards. we joke around a lot ...
A. 10 August 2011: Not really sure to be honest - its hard to say what is going on in his head because only he knows!
But what I can say is that you have been incredibly sexual with him, all your jokes and flirting revolves around sex and being quite dirty, s... (read in full...)
How do I deal with insecurities stemming from past relationships?
Q. Please can someone tell me how to deal with bad insecurities with my current partner which I think stems from my previous two relationships? Thanks...
A. 10 August 2011: What are the insecurities? Without knowing this we really cant help you!... (read in full...)
Considering our misunderstandings do I have a chance still?
Q. well, i met a very sweet girl n she was so friendly that i couldn't even imagine at all. after 3 times meeting accidentally, we got share of our cell nos n we became very good friends. after we got to meet many times, i got fallen in love with her...
A. 10 August 2011: All you can do now is wait I'm afraid. You have made it very clear how you feel, you have told her what you want - but she is still in love with someone else so until that changes, there isnt much hope for you I'm afraid.
Just leave her alone fo... (read in full...)
Do you think our relationship is going to last?
Q. Ok We met my senior prom night we both were single he was going with his best friend from my school. The whole summer we continued to see each other pretty much everday doing very fun things. Partying, seeing movies, typical summer fun. Going ...
A. 10 August 2011: It is hard to say - I guess it depends on how much you both want to make it work. Long distance relationships are hard and it needs a lot of trust so you are not constantly worried or jealous.
It is true that people do often like to be single w... (read in full...)
Do I just not have guy material to attract women to me?
Q. I always see my friends that have girls who are attracted to them. All the time female friends that tell me how they like one of my other friends and I feel bad. Ive never had women throw themselves at me like they do to them and its got me down. ...
A. 9 August 2011: Well what would you say is different about your friends in comparison to you? Do they treat women differently? How do they behave around girls?
It is hard to say what you are missing without knowing you or your friends, if you could give more inf... (read in full...)
Seducing my ex-girlfriend's younger sister will be ethical ?
Q. My girlfriend dumped me 10 months back, Now I feel like seducing her 18 years old sister who happens to be 10 years younger than me. Will it be ethical to go for relationship with her? Can you people help me how to approach her? She is damn hotter ...
A. 9 August 2011: No it is not ethical - leave her alone.
The age isnt the biggest problem - it is the fact you dated her sister, and it sounds to me that because you were dumped you want to get revenge on your ex by chasing after her sister. What makes you thin... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm a shell that no one wants to be around
Q. I find myself in the weirdest and saddest situation. I'm a guy in my late 20s who is a virgin and never been on a date before. I've asked girls out but always been rejected. Its not that I'm an ugly guy. Quite the opposite actually. I'm approached ...
A. 9 August 2011: Read these two sentences back to yourself: "I feel like I am an an uninteresting person with practically no personality"
"I should also mention that I love who I am. I think I am intelligent, funny and a generally nice guy"
Clearly there... (read in full...)
Is it legal for a 24 year old to date a 17 year old?
Q. Hi to all I've just found out that a friend of mine (24 years old male) is dating a (17 year old female) and just would like know is this legal or illegal and is this right or wrong as i really dont know myself what to say to them both....
A. 9 August 2011: It is legal as the age of consent is 16, therefore technically because she is over 16 she can do what she likes.
Whether it is 'right' or 'wrong' is a different matter - it is questionable what a 24 year old man sees in a 17 year old girl, an... (read in full...)
He has slowly stopped making any effort with me and told me he is just 'busy'. How do I ask him what is going on?
Q. So I've been seeing this guy for about a month. At first he was all into me telling me how beautiful I was and how he couldn't wait to spend more time with me. We had sex (yes I know it was stupid) bit he reassured me nothing would change in the way ...
A. 4 August 2011: Well that does prove he is a busy man - but generally unless you are unemployed or a student EVERYONE is busy. If a man really likes you, he will make the effort - no matter what.
Like you said yourself, before you had sex with him, he couldnt ... (read in full...)
How does the plan B pill work?
Q. I saw a commercial for the Plan B pill today--how does it work? Can you take it after any time you had sex just to be safe or no? Not planning on having sex at all just curious. ...
A. 4 August 2011: We have the same thing here in the UK just called the morning after pill.
Basically it only works within 72 hours after having unprotected sex, and with each 24 hours that pass the chances of it working are reduced significantly. So if you have... (read in full...)
He has slowly stopped making any effort with me and told me he is just 'busy'. How do I ask him what is going on?
Q. So I've been seeing this guy for about a month. At first he was all into me telling me how beautiful I was and how he couldn't wait to spend more time with me. We had sex (yes I know it was stupid) bit he reassured me nothing would change in the way ...
A. 4 August 2011: I dont think you need to ask him, it is pretty obvious what is going on. He had sex with you then his interest faded, and he is letting you down slowly & gently.
Men are crap at saying "sorry I'm just not that into you" so instead the most com... (read in full...)
When to celebrate!?
Q. My boyfriend and I are trying to figure out when to celebrate our one year! We met year on october 12th and have basically been together ever since. Although he did not officially ask me to be his girlfriend until valentines day (feb 14th), we were ...
A. 3 August 2011: I would go with October 12th - you said you have been exclusive since then so that is the date that makes most sense.
I hope this helps and good luck!... (read in full...)
I feel like I'll never be able to move on from my married lover....
Q. After 3 years of being with an older married man, I finnally walked away from him last week. Ever since, he has pestered me with hundreds of texts and emails daily, constant calls and if I don't answer he leaves voicemails crying, telling me he lo...
A. 3 August 2011: First things first - this man doesnt love you. To say what he said in that message clearly indicates that he is an awful, vindictive man who was only using you for sex and never loved you in the first place. He has some pretty serious issues and is ... (read in full...)
I've developed feelings for my friend's 16 year old son, how can I make this go away?
Q. Well here goes : i'm just 40 (look about 30-32-so i'm told)n seem to be having a mid-life crisis!! I've lost over 6 stone and feel great. Background: I'm married with 2 young children and a lovely caring husband who is the same age. Problem: ...
A. 3 August 2011: Quite simple - stop spending time with him. You are obviously going through some changes at the moment, and with your new weight loss it will be quite addictive feeling young and attractive again, especially with the attention this young boy is ... (read in full...)
Why is marriage old news in UK now?
Q. Why is marriage old news in UK now?? All the americans that have blogs online all seem to be married like real young (20s) and I swear hardly any people marry in the UK anymore. I actually feel like migrating to USA just because marriage is more ...
A. 3 August 2011: Sorry this makes me laugh, you are 16-17 and you 'need' a husband?! No-one needs a husband at that age, not even in the US!
Yes you are right that in the far south of the US, religion is a lot stronger there and people do marry younger, and more... (read in full...)
I cant ever imagine getting divorced over this, but I am not attracted to my wife! What should I do?
Q. I don't know who to turn to for advice because this is such a sensitive subject. Over the last couple of years I have been losing attraction to my wife and even finding her repulsive at times. I am not a superficial person but it has been building ...
A. 3 August 2011: I understand your fear of telling her, but look at it this way - if you dont tell her, that basically means divorce is the only option. Does she not have the right to know how you are feeling? As your wife she is supposed to share everything with ... (read in full...)
I'd told him I'd get rid of the baby, but I'm having second thoughts.
Q. Hello. Ive today found out im pregnent the test says 3+ weeks. The thing is the father is my ex who i have slept with once he also has a gf well engaged to he also has a one yr old with her we slwpt together when they where having problams and had ...
A. 2 August 2011: Well if you dont want the abortion then dont do it - it is not worth living your life with that kind of regret.
But make sure you are prepared for what you are letting yourself in for:
1. You will be a single mum. Your ex is not going to be ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with this girl?
Q. Recently a girl who i work with has asked for my number which i gave to her and now she is constantly texting me. Im pretty sure she likes me, but i dont like her, not in that way anyway for a few reasons. Firstly shes only 17 (im 20). I live in the ...
A. 2 August 2011: No, dont go out with her. You are not attracted to her and she annoys you, you dont have any reason at all to date this girl! Just be honest with her and let her down gently, dont use her for sex - that is pretty low.
Being a virgin at 20 is no... (read in full...)
I cant ever imagine getting divorced over this, but I am not attracted to my wife! What should I do?
Q. I don't know who to turn to for advice because this is such a sensitive subject. Over the last couple of years I have been losing attraction to my wife and even finding her repulsive at times. I am not a superficial person but it has been building ...
A. 2 August 2011: If she really does exercise daily, is on a diet and is careful about what she eats (sorry but as a formerly overweight person myself I dont believe she does this, or at least she isnt doing it right!) and still doesnt lose weight, then she must seek ... (read in full...)
I'm still a virgin.....should I keep on waiting for Mr Perfect or get it over with the first guy who comes along?
Q. I'm still a virgin... I'm not going to write my age but in this age nobody even expects a girl to be a virgin. It's not like I didn't have the chance (In fact, a few months ago I had the perfect chance but I chickened out, not because I'm afra...
A. 1 August 2011: Neither option is the right thing to do. What you need to do is learn to lower your standards, but not so much that you will jump into bed with the first guy who is interested.
There is no such thing as prince charming or your knight in shining ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to deal with these feelings I've developed for my boyfriend's friend!
Q. I don't know what to do . I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I really love him but the romance has disappeared between us in addition to any sexual chemistry ( on my part) .Recently I've begun to develop feelings for his friend and I don't ...
A. 1 August 2011: The only reason you have these feelings for the friend is because of boredom and a lack of romance in your relationship, you still love your boyfriend so the only reason you are interested in this friend is because it is new and exciting, whereas 3 ... (read in full...)
How can I possibly find a person to accept me?
Q. I don't know how to move forward. I've got a lot of baggage from my past, a truckload of self-esteem issues, and an ever-shrinking circle of friends. I'm hoping some of this can be fixed when I start school again in a few weeks, but I've become s...
A. 1 August 2011: Until you accept yourself you will never find anyone to accept you. How can you expect a guy to love you if you dont love yourself? How can anyone make you happy if you cant make yourself happy?
If you are having frequent panic attacks and are ... (read in full...)
Havent had a date in 3 years! Any tips for me?
Q. hi guys im hoping you can offer me some advice. i am 21 years old and havent had a date since i was 18. iv been pretty busy with college. but not just that i find it really hard to approach guys and not sure how to be flirty etc. for example if ...
A. 1 August 2011: Men do still accept that they are normally the ones to approach the girl so you dont have to worry too much about approaching the guy first - most men will be happy to approach you (even if they are nervous on the inside!).
If you catch a guy lo... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you ever approach an average looking girl?
Q. I am wondering if there is anything that an average looking girl could do to grab a guys attention? Is there a (non-slutty) way she could dress? A specific perfume? Any behavior? Something she could say? Have you ever developed an attraction fo...
A. 29 July 2011: There is one thing you can do - remember there is no such thing as 'average'. To some men you will be a goddess, someone unattainable, someone they can only hope to be with.
Yes to some men you might be average, or might not be their cup of tea -... (read in full...)
We're working on fixing things but his ex is still a big concern for me!
Q. I have been with this guy going on two years, living together the last year. We have been described as being "each others opposites." He's very serious, already has his next five years of his life and finances planned out, introverted, and it's such ...
A. 29 July 2011: You have to tell him everything that you have said here. If he really is willing to do whatever it takes to make this relationship work then he needs to listen to you on this ex issue and understand your point of view.
He absolutely should n... (read in full...)
The "Runaway:" is it likely that a person would stay in a relationship for over 4 years if they weren't really interested?
Q. Is it likely that a person would stay in a relationship for over 4 years if they weren't really interested? Would a person waste this much time with someone they didn't really want? I was in a confusing relationship for this amount of time a...
A. 29 July 2011: I guess you could say that I am like your ex, I did a runner from a relationship that on the surface was perfectly fine.
My now ex and I had been together for 2 years, living together and had a lovely life. He was a great guy and there was noth... (read in full...)
I think my weight gain could affect my relationship. Can I have any tips to help please?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years and he is compeletly honest with me. So when he told me that I was gaining weight.. I was unhappy with my gain ( which I am ) I want to lose the weight but I am 5'2" 20yrs 175ibs I wear a Canada s...
A. 29 July 2011: Ok well first things first, well done for recognising that you want to make this change and lose the weight, that is a great start. Weight gain can indeed affect relationships, I'm sure your boyfriend loves you very much but physical attraction is ... (read in full...)
I'm lost and confused please help. any advice will help
Q. My ex and I broke up on new years eve, ever since then he is been going back and forth. He would start seeing a girl they see right through him the she split he would come back to me. one time he was dating this girl we both work with and then ...
A. 29 July 2011: Look he just wants sex - he wants you to be his 'friends with benefits' so he can have no strings fun with you and date other girls at the same time.
Either cut him out of your life or you will keep going around in circles. Lock your doors, c... (read in full...)
How do you find a person to love?
Q. How do you find a person to love? That is my question. I'm unhappily, very unhappily married. Never been happy in fact. I just want to love. Is it too much to ask? I love somebody now who's deeply committed to his fiance'. So,there is no c...
A. 28 July 2011: Well the first thing NOT to do is have an affair! You will never find someone to love whilst you are still married, cheating on your husband, regardless of how you feel about him is still incredibly wrong and the man you had/are having an affair ... (read in full...)
Very extreme, unhappy love. What should I do?
Q. Hi, Imma 14 year old girl and I know this is gonna sound stupid but this is something that tears me down nowadays.. Im not just another foolish young child, I have an idea of the world and I understand what people will say, I don't just live in ...
A. 28 July 2011: Have you actually started a relationship with this man? Does he know about your feelings for him? Is he a teacher or some other adult in your life? How much time do you spend with him?
More information would help here, I cant really advise y... (read in full...)
I'm lost and confused please help. any advice will help
Q. My ex and I broke up on new years eve, ever since then he is been going back and forth. He would start seeing a girl they see right through him the she split he would come back to me. one time he was dating this girl we both work with and then ...
A. 28 July 2011: There is nothing to be lost or confused about - he is your ex, you have a new guy.....I dont get what there is to think about!
Your ex is using you - whenever he gets dumped he runs back to you because he knows he can walk all over you and get ... (read in full...)
Help! I am failing for my FWB partner...
Q. Hi I have a friends with benefits thing going on with a friend..we full around once in a while.. I try not to meet up with everytime he calls.. Due to that I'm getting emotional attached to him.. I haven't really opened up to him of my feelings.. ...
A. 28 July 2011: Friends with benefits only works if you are simply that - FRIENDS and nothing else. If you have feelings for him then clearly you want a relationship rather than purely sex, so this situation is obviously not working.
You have 2 options:... (read in full...)
How do I break up with my first serious boyfriend?
Q. I want to break up with my bf of a year. Nothing has 'happened' as such to trigger this, just a general sense of,no, I dont want to spend the rest of my life with this person. He talks of marriage and kids, and I do love him, and always have, and ...
A. 28 July 2011: Of course it is ok to break up with him if you feel this way, it is wrong to string him along and let him think there is a future with you, when actually you dont feel the same.
Simply be honest with him and tell him that as much as you do love ... (read in full...)
I'm having second thoughts about moving in with my boyfriend.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been planning on moving in for a couple of months. Last month two of his friends asked him to stay with him for a while until he was. They're a couple. He allowed them to move in but did not tell me. He said it was a short ...
A. 27 July 2011: All you need to do is explain to your boyfriend everything you have said here.
Tell him you want to live with him, you dont want the LDR anymore and you are ready to live with him. However you are simply not comfortable sharing a house with oth... (read in full...)
Should I get back together with my partner or go travelling?
Q. My partner and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. We desided it would be best to take a good break from one another as our whole relationship we have been living together. I was really gutted about the breakup and really love him alot, we are getting ...
A. 27 July 2011: Why did you break up? What were the issues in your relationship? Do you want to be single for a while or do you want to be in a relationship? Can you afford to go travelling right now? Or would you have to wait a while? Would you be happy to wait 5 ... (read in full...)
I found out that the man I was dating is married...now what?
Q. I was dating a man for 3 months and a week ago I found out that he is married. His wife read my message on his phone, contacted me and told me that they've known each other for 11 years, are married, have a 6 year old child and that she's now ...
A. 27 July 2011: There is the main difference - 'want' and 'need'. The kids need a dad, whereas you simply 'want' him for selfish reasons. I'm not saying you are selfish, just that you only want him because you have feelings for him, you are attracted to him etc. ... (read in full...)
I found out that the man I was dating is married...now what?
Q. I was dating a man for 3 months and a week ago I found out that he is married. His wife read my message on his phone, contacted me and told me that they've known each other for 11 years, are married, have a 6 year old child and that she's now ...
A. 27 July 2011: Look - his wife is pregnant with their second child, if he really was so unhappy with his marriage he would not be having sex with his wife, let alone expanding their family.
Yes the culture in India is different, perhaps it was an arranged... (read in full...)
Is getting a nose job a good idea?
Q. I know this is a relationship website, but i really really need some advice as to what to do and how to deal with what people will think. I know i shouldn't care about others opinions but i really can't help it!! Basically, since i was about 11 i...
A. 26 July 2011: I too dislike my nose, I have done since the age of about 12 (and I'm now 24, with the same nose still!) and I have thought about a nose job many times. I think my nose is a big for my face, and I know I would look better in pictures if I had a ... (read in full...)
He is back in touch with the girl he cheated on his last girlfriend with, what do I do now?
Q. Hi i've been in this relationship for 10 months now and everything was going good at the start but he's changed and started to show his true colours... here is the twist he's been in care for 12 years and has been abused by everyone in his ...
A. 26 July 2011: Eyes - its the British term for when the child is taken away from its birth parents because they are not fit to look after the child, and put 'into care' so to speak (cared for by foster parents, the council etc).
To the poster of the question... (read in full...)
What should I wear on a first date?
Q. What should I wear on a first date, I want to look nice but not too try hard. Also I dunno how much make up to wear or how to have my hair. Any general tips ?...
A. 26 July 2011: Quite simply, try and be natural. Dont wear your hair too different to how you normally have it, and dont wear loads more make-up than you normally would otherwise you will feel like a different person, and thats not good! The guy will want to get ... (read in full...)
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