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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Ideas for a first date? Would it be too forward to invite her to my apartment to watch a hockey game?
Q. alright so there is this girl in one of my classes at university and i really want to ask her out. We have gotten to know each other a bit in the 2 1/2 months that we have been in class together, we usually end up sitting next to each other and get ...
A. 11 November 2011: Definitely too forward, dont ask her to come over because she will think you are after one thing, regardless of what you are planning on watching on TV!
Are there any sports bars you know of that show hockey games? That would be a far better i... (read in full...)
Why does my friend think I will be old & lonely? It hurt when she said that..
Q. Why does she think I will be old and lonely when am older? kinda hurt.? I met this older friend at work and there was this guy there that liked me and I liked him. I left work for college now. But the guy has stood me up 3times and I'v...
A. 11 November 2011: I honestly dont know why she would say such a ridiculous thing to someone so young, she clearly has low self esteem and possibly feeling frustrated in her own relationship therefore she is projecting these feelings onto you.
At the end of the d... (read in full...)
I don't want sex with my boyfriend and I don't mind if he finds it elsewhere. Normal?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been in each others lives for 1 year and maybe three months? I say this because I'm not sure exactly when we became a couple. I'm 20 and I have a relaxed philosophy to relationships and my boyfriend is 22. I moved away f...
A. 10 November 2011: Wow you have a whole bag of issues here! But at the end of the day a relationship without sex is not normal, and not wanting to have sex with your boyfriend is not normal. Open relationships are not normal, seperating sex and love is not ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend admitted to one-night stand!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 2 years confessed yesterday that few weeks back he had an one night stand, he was heavely drunk and didn't realise what he was getting into. I really dont understand how he could he say since he was drunk he didnt know what ...
A. 10 November 2011: Being drunk is a lame excuse - if a man really is 'that' drunk he cant get an erection, so he cant have been that bad. If you are heavily drunk and really dont know what you are doing then you are very ill normally, usually involving being sick, ... (read in full...)
How often do I take my girlfriend out? And where?
Q. I just got into a relationship with this amazing girl. She's funny, smart, nice, and beautiful, and we went on a first date, we held hands, went roller skating, it was nice, now this is my first gf, so I don't know what to much. My friends say that ...
A. 9 November 2011: Once a week should be the minium that you see her, most couples see each other 2-3 times a week, but at your age once a week should be fine.
You dont always have to do anything massively exciting on your dates, the longer you are together... (read in full...)
What can I say to this 20 year old guy who is interested in me? I'm hesitant.
Q. I know this guy, he's 20 and am 31 i was just wondering why is he interested in me, when he can have anyone he wants? I am worried about the age difference when keep asking me out. i say sorry I'm too old for you and he says I'm not old. What d...
A. 9 November 2011: We cant tell you why he is interested - only he knows so you will have to ask him that question. Simply ask him outright why he is interested in you and what makes him think it could work with the age difference. I wouldnt trust a 20 year old wh... (read in full...)
16 year old in love with an attached 23 year old
Q. I am a 16 year old male an I have fallen in love with my 23 year old co-worker who is dating our manager what do I do? she says she is leaving him for me when she gets her car I just need advice....
A. 8 November 2011: Look this is only going to get messy and could cause a lot of trouble, I know this isnt what you want to hear but you need to stop this now and tell her you dont want to be with her (even if you do, you cant be with her for many reasons so you need ... (read in full...)
Broke her heart and lost her over Facebook, no excuses. But is what I did truly unforgiveable? I still love her.
Q. I Broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago. I sexted a girl on facebook when i was drunk. It was wrong and it was the only time it happened even though i dont remember doing it and my facebook was hacked when this was happening. Multiple sex stuf...
A. 8 November 2011: I dont think what you did is that bad at all, I think she is over-reacting a fair bit. In fact her kissing other guys and rubbing it in your face is just as bad as the random drunk sexting.
I think you should arrange to see your ex when you get ... (read in full...)
Ex says I should have sex with him because I owe him my virginity since he waited for me
Q. Me and my now ex-boyfriend just broke up because of me not being in love with him anymore. Although we're broken up, he's telling me to have sex with him so we can both loose our virginities and then he'll move on. He says if we do have sex, he'll ...
A. 7 November 2011: No no no no no. Dont do it.
Losing your virginity should be to someone you love, simple as that. If your ex is really so desperate for sex the he can go to these other girls that are chasing him.
There really is not a lot more to say than... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't hire me to work with him and I feel sick about it!
Q. My boyfriend has his own business and I hate my job. He also wants to travel a few months of the year so I am trying to find something flexible that will allow for this to happen. Lately i have been helping him with research for his business...
A. 7 November 2011: Ok he was wrong to be whispering about it like that, he shouldnt be so sneaky and childish about it.
But....it is his business, therefore his decision who he hires for this role. If he feels you are not suited then fair enough, he will have his... (read in full...)
She said we couldn't be together. Should I bring the subject up when I see her?
Q. I am normally a confident cocky guy who knows it all when it comes to women, but i must admit i need your help. I met this girl and after spending some time with her I could tell she was the type of girl I wanted to be with. I am a guy who often in...
A. 4 November 2011: I think you need to ask her if there is ever a chance of you being together and then you can make the decision. I wouldnt ask her if she ready now, because that just seems like you are presuring her. But if you simply ask her if there is any hope ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not being fair to her. Our free time doesn't match up!
Q. May i please have some advise? I haven't had much time to spend with this girl I am dating. And I feel real bad because I am always busy. I feel like it isn't fair to her. She really likes me. And I really like her. but our free time doesn't ...
A. 4 November 2011: Well what are you busy doing? And what is she busy doing? Generally you cant be busy 7 nights a week, even if you work during the day you still have your evenings and if you plan your workload well you can get all your work done before you go out in ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a bruise on that part of your body without it leaving a mark?
Q. I have a question about a mysterious bruise incident. Fact: She told me had a bruise and it hurt like heck and she got it by bumping into the sharp corner of her dresser in the dark, on her chest. Fact: The next day she showed me where the brui...
A. 3 November 2011: Bruising happens below the skin therefore it can be painful under the skin without leaving any mark.
Not sure why you are bothered about this though, surely there are more important things to worry about than a bruise or non bruise on your par... (read in full...)
Where do I look and how do I look for a girlfriend?
Q. I've recently come out bisexual to my boyfriend and family. They've been supportive. I just can't seem to find a girl-friend. Where do I look and how do I look? How can you tell if she's interested? I'm so confused. Please can you help me with thi...
A. 2 November 2011: Well do you not already have female friends? Surely if you are looking for a strictly platonic friendship then you wouldnt have mentioned being bi-sexual because that is irrelevant? Your question would have been 'how can I make more female friends' ... (read in full...)
How will I know which among the two women in my life is the one I love and right for me?
Q. I had been on a 9 year relationship with my girlfriend A and we were planning to get married. We were not living together, by the way. Because of this fact of getting married, I decided that I wanted to fool around with somebody else B just to expe...
A. 2 November 2011: Neither girl is right for you. A is definitely not the right girl because you were happy to cheat on her and have an affair - when you really love someone truly you would never do such an awful thing to them and hurt them in this way. You realised ... (read in full...)
Am I a girlfriend of a FWB?
Q. Hi everyone here's my problem I met a man at the beginning of the year I like him a lot we started having sex and I found myself getting strong feelings for him but he stopped bothering with me for weeks and weeks so I thought he wasn't interested ...
A. 2 November 2011: He came round to your house and told you he wants you to be his girlfriend - how much clearer do you need him to be?!
There is nothing more for me to add - he admitted he had been treating you badly and now he wants to take the relation... (read in full...)
Where do I look and how do I look for a girlfriend?
Q. I've recently come out bisexual to my boyfriend and family. They've been supportive. I just can't seem to find a girl-friend. Where do I look and how do I look? How can you tell if she's interested? I'm so confused. Please can you help me with thi...
A. 2 November 2011: Gay clubs are a good place to start, or online dating.
But what I dont understand is how you are planning on having both a boyfriend and girlfriend - is your boyfriend happy for you to cheat on him and have an affair? Have you spoken to him abou... (read in full...)
We had a big fight and now I find b/f is on dating site
Q. This is going to be long and I apologize in advance. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 16 months. We see each other all the time, he loves my family and vice versa and we've talked about the future. About 2 weeks ago, we got in a very big ...
A. 1 November 2011: There's no magic way of bringing this up - you just have to come out with it and say it. Just tell him that your friend had logged onto her account and seen his account on there and that you are worried because he is back on a dating site when you ... (read in full...)
Does anyone regret having sex too young and not waiting until marriage?
Q. I'm just wondering had anyone regretting having sex too young, or not waiting till marriage as ive been in a steady relationship now for over a year and a half but havent had sex... me and my boyfriend are happy about this but im wondering about ...
A. 1 November 2011: Well I personally am very GLAD I lost my virginity and didnt wait until marriage, that would have been a huge mistake!
Sex is such an important part of a relationship, and there are people who simply are not sexually compatible together, if I had... (read in full...)
Dangers of Porn
Q. I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...
A. 1 November 2011: First of all - I am a female so not your typical male sticking up for porn here! But I wanted to comment on your article as I do agree with you to an extent, but you are over-generalising A LOT here.
Not all pornography is violent, therefor... (read in full...)
Where do I go from here? Broken hearted. How long should I wait for to contact my ex?
Q. My girlfriend of one year recently broke up with me. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost the entire time, although I've bought plane tickets to visit her several times, and she came to stay with me for 8 weeks over summer where we ...
A. 1 November 2011: NEVER contact her ever again. Simple as that. This girl lied to you, dumped you for another man, strings you along knowing full well how you feel about her, rejects your proposal and yet wants to be 'friends' so she can keep you on the sidelines ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my friend might be pregnant but I cant say anything to anyone! Help!
Q. Okaay i dont know where to start! This question isnt realy about me its about my friend but i dont know what to do! So I have this friend who i will call C she has just turned 16 in the last week, she has had a boyfriend and has been with him for ...
A. 1 November 2011: First things first, lets get the sex education lesson out of the way. Women are NOT at their most fertile before their period. Women have a cycle that typically lasts around 28 days. The period happens towards the end of the cycle. The egg is ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to get a boyfriend? Any beauty tips?
Q. I'm 18 years old and have never had a boyfriend or a first kiss. I'm interested in beginning to date or finding a boyfriend. I'm beginning college next summer and am hoping for a fresh start. I need beauty advice in particular since I am lacki...
A. 1 November 2011: Ok well beauty wise - men like girls that look natural, so dont try and wear some wacky make-up or pile loads and loads of make-up on your face, that wont work.
I have never had any problems with men and I have always looked after myself beauty w... (read in full...)
He thinks I am playing games. Is it wrong for me to withhold sex from the guy I'm currently seeing?
Q. is it wrong for me to withhold sex from the guy i'm currently seeing? i just don't feel like i know him well enough yet to sleep with him, but in his mind i think he's getting frustrated because he thinks i'm just using it as an excuse and that im a...
A. 1 November 2011: Using the term 'witholding sex' is wrong in this scenario - that term implies you have had sex with this guy before and have now stopped for whatever reason. Women use this game when they are in relationships and are annoyed at the man for whatever ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend that I want an abortion? Or just go ahead and do it anyway?
Q. Well... I am 28 years old and have been with the same guy for 10 years... Yes, 10 years. We're not technically married, but do plan to stay together for the long hall. And, I just found out I was pregnant. Obviously we've been being careful over the ...
A. 31 October 2011: You have to tell him, it would be wrong not to. This is 50% his baby, and I know it will hurt him but he has the right to know - you cant make decisions like this on his behalf, it is too big a deal for you to go ahead with the abortion without him ... (read in full...)
Guys don't mention rings this casually, do they? Why would he do this at the wedding?
Q. I was relaying things that happened at a wedding I attended Saturday to my boyfriend via text. The bride and groom entered the reception hall on a Harley. My boyfriend sent a joking text asking if the bride's wedding ring was chrome. He then...
A. 31 October 2011: Well how long have you been together? Have you discussed marriage before? How serious is the relationship?
Without knowing the answers to the above questions it is hard to say, it could have just been a passing comment, I mean he has obviousl... (read in full...)
Should I add a one night stand to facebook when I would like him to be a FWB?
Q. so I slept with my friend's friend yesterday and would like to be fwb with him. I didn't know why, but I didn't give him my number when he asked to exchange numbers.. probably too drunk.. anyway, the only way I could contact him is through ...
A. 31 October 2011: I will never advise anyone to have a FWB because it ALWAYS ends in tears. Search this site with the phrase FWB and you will see many questions mostly from girls, who started out with a guy as FWB and then they fall for him every time, and then want ... (read in full...)
What do I need to know that can assure me I am making the right decision to take her back?
Q. My gf dumped me because she said something wasn't there, i took it like a man and didn't whine and ask why like so many of us guys do. I just said you're right this isn't working, and of course in the same conversation we were having about breaking ...
A. 31 October 2011: I know you dont think it was an unhealthy relationship because there was no big bust up at the end like cheating or abuse, but you should be very wary about taking her back.
She clearly doesnt know what she wants, she doesnt know her own mind the... (read in full...)
How can I break up with my boyfriend? I'm not in love with him anymore
Q. How can I break up with my boyfriend of 2 years and 4 months? I love him but I'm not in love with him anymore. This year was his 1st year of college but I could feel us drifting sorta. He even told me that for the past 2 weeks he's been wanting to ...
A. 31 October 2011: First of all simply break up with him - tell him face to face ideally that you are sorry but you dont have the same feelings anymore and it is over. Be very clear that it is over and that is final.
Then call his parents, explain that you have bro... (read in full...)
Did he just want his ego boosted or does he feel the same?
Q. Hi All, Over 18months ago, I had a short relationship with a guy I met on dating site which lasted about 4 months. We parted over something really trivial and I did not pursue it any further, we remained friends and lost contact over time. However,...
A. 31 October 2011: I'm currently in a similar situation with a guy I met online, I have known him a couple of months now and he is doing the same to me, taking ages to reply to texts (but still texting daily), not asking to meet up much but he will ask every now and ... (read in full...)
Shall I contact him on FB even though I am not supposed to know his surname? Or ask his friend for his phone number?
Q. Hi there - I met a guy at a party and we slept together. I like him but i do not see him as relationship material. But i would like to see him again. Just to have fun. If i wanted a relationship i wouldn't contact him but i guess i have nothing ...
A. 31 October 2011: Ask his friend for his number - you would definitely seem like a stalker if you went via Facebook. How did you get his surname anyway? The friend is the best option, or if he wont give out his number then give the friend your number and get him to ... (read in full...)
A good friend of mine likes the same guy I do, and he asked me out!
Q. Hi, I am in quite the predicament! i'm 15 years old, and me and my friend both like the same guy, M. My friend, T, doesn't know I like M, and I liked him for awhile before she told me she had liked him for a week. It made me miserable, knowing that ...
A. 30 October 2011: Glad it all worked out so well for you, being honest and open with your friends is always best! Enjoy your date!... (read in full...)
A good friend of mine likes the same guy I do, and he asked me out!
Q. Hi, I am in quite the predicament! i'm 15 years old, and me and my friend both like the same guy, M. My friend, T, doesn't know I like M, and I liked him for awhile before she told me she had liked him for a week. It made me miserable, knowing that ...
A. 28 October 2011: I think you need to talk to your friend first. Explain what has happened - that he has asked you out, and that you know she likes him so you dont want to do anything before you have spoken to her but you do quite like him and would like to say yes ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's brother is tagging along to our outings and now I don't want him for my 18th birthday party. How can I ask him not to come without sounding rude?
Q. Here's what happened the first time: My boyfriend was invited by me to my grandmother's halloween party for the family, so he can meet my family. So a few days before the party, he asked if his brother can tag along. He said he had to watch his brot...
A. 28 October 2011: I actually think it would be a bit rude of you to say you dont want the brother at your birthday party, after all you have to try and get on with your partner's family, that is part of relationships and birthdays are family gathgerings, so I dont ... (read in full...)
Does this girl at work have an interest in me?
Q. I posted this question earlier, but did not get manty replies. I hope it's not violating any rules by posting it again... any help is appreciated. Hi. I have a question about a girl I like. We work together in the same office. She likes t...
A. 28 October 2011: Well it sounds like she likes you - but whether she wants to cheat on her boyfriend is another matter. So it is either flirting or she wants more, but because we are not inside her head we cant tell you any more than this I'm afraid.
Whate... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been ignoring me for 4 days and I don't know what I have done wrong! What should I do in this situation?
Q. Hi, I really dont know what to do and would appreciate some advice. For some reason over the past four days, my boyfriend has decided to ignore me and wont contact me for no reason. I dont know what Ive done wrong, we haven't argued or even said a b...
A. 28 October 2011: Have you tried texting or calling him? If you have tried ringing and you know his phone is on, then I would do the following:
Send him one final text message saying something like this:
"Hi, you have been ignoring me for the last 4 days and I h... (read in full...)
Is my B/f thinking about marriage and should I bring my feelings up in conversation?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 7 months yesterday. We have know each other since we were 13 and 14 respectivly, got to know each other better mid teens then became very close friends from the ages of 18-20 and now are a couple at 21 and 22. ...
A. 27 October 2011: Honestly, relax!! You are right, aged 21 you are not emotionally mature enough to get married and neither is your boyfriend, I'm sure he is aware of this too.
As I said before - it is natural when you are in a serious relationship to talk abo... (read in full...)
When someone loves you, how do you really know?
Q. hello all. I am going to be completely honest because I truly need advice or insight. I'm 33 will be 34 in january and I just broke up with my 21 year old ex. he just turned 21 this month also. But I guess I'm just confused about everything that ...
A. 27 October 2011: Well if you are going for men who are significantly younger than you all the time then that is your problem. Dont date men who are under the age of 28!
I presume you want a loving, stable relationship based on trust and respect, you want to build... (read in full...)
Is my B/f thinking about marriage and should I bring my feelings up in conversation?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 7 months yesterday. We have know each other since we were 13 and 14 respectivly, got to know each other better mid teens then became very close friends from the ages of 18-20 and now are a couple at 21 and 22. ...
A. 27 October 2011: I dont think you need to worry, it sounds again like he was talking hypothetically. I doubt he is going to pop down on one knee any time soon so relax!
It is very common after a few months together to talk about the future, and if you both lov... (read in full...)
I haven't had many boyfriends. Where is the best place to meet someone?
Q. I'm 26 and not had many boyfriends, i'm quite shy and don't go out much - most of my friends have moved away and i prefer saving money. Where is the best place to meet someone? Are any online dating sites good?...
A. 27 October 2011: Well if you dont go out and dont have any hobbies that involve social scenarios with memebers of the opposite sex then your only real option is online dating.
If you want the best places in real life to meet people - then bars, clubs and pubs are... (read in full...)
Meeting my online date in 2 weeks and I am nervous! Any advice?
Q. Just to set things up: I'm 18, just graduated high school in the spring and am now in college. I'm a gay guy and a virgin. Okay, here's the thing, there are no remotely gay people at my school. None. I've been to all the LGBT club meetings and I a...
A. 24 October 2011: Sorry but this man is 56, there is no way he should be interested in showing a boy of 18 the ropes of safe sex. He sounds completely wrong to me, you need to be very careful here as I think you are in danger.
I know you might think we are all ... (read in full...)
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