A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I find myself in the weirdest and saddest situation. I'm a guy in my late 20s who is a virgin and never been on a date before. I've asked girls out but always been rejected. Its not that I'm an ugly guy. Quite the opposite actually. I'm approached often. My problem is that I feel like I am an an uninteresting person with practically no personality. And if ur just a shell, nobody wants to be around u. This theory is backed up by the fact that I only hav a few loyal friends and that girls run away the second they start speaking to me.... I sometimes feel like I'm a lost cause inside and should just move away to somewhere where there won't be people to remind me of what I lack. I should also mention that I love who I am. I think I am intelligent, funny and a generally nice guy, but apparently the world disagrees... I expect I'll be told I have a lack of confidence and suffer from depression. Yeah. Probably. But with good reason. I've also look into asperger's. Welcome to my pity party :P
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): I think you are having some problems here. maybe you should check into seeing a psychiatrist. they can be rather helpful you know...
this really saddens me to read this...I hate seeing people with such low self confidence. i really wish for your sake that you can feel better about yourself. if you really feel that bad about yourself..take up some new interests. start playing some more sports, maybe go snowboarding. learn to play an instrument. learn how to dance, get involved in things, these all add to make for an interesting person.
but you be quite honest with you...I don't think you need to do anything...that's only if you really really feel awful about yourself. and maybe you'll find something you really enjoy doing and can make you happier..
but in my opinion you don't sound boring. please, please, please don't sit here in a state of depression and think you are not worthy. God created you exactly how he wanted you to be. and he wouldn't change you for anything. out there, I'll tell you this for certain, there is a girl who will absolutely adore you, in every way, and in every little detail of you. she won't run away; she'll just want to learn more about you. she'll light up your life, and will hopefully pull you out of this hole of depression you seem to be in.
maybe go to church? that helps me.. when I went through a state of depression, I didn't know where to turn, and eventually I found God, and I've never felt better. I don't know if you are a person of the faith or not..sorry of you're not, but either way, I hope the best for you.
but I'm asking you, because I do truly want you to feel better about your self, and be happier..please seek some help if you think you have any sort of...psychological problems.
I'm sorry for you.
remember, you're perfect, just how you are. the way God wants you to be.
hope this helped.
God bless.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): Have you looked into something called "love-shyness"? You can find a number of sites, articles, and forums about it online. It has some relation to Asperger's.
Brian Gilmartin's original book on the condition also can be downloaded for free.
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A
female
reader, bebe87 +, writes (9 August 2011):
 It sounds like you just need to get out of your shell. And yes it also sounds like you are trying to ‘convince’ yourself that you like yourself. You must love yourself before loving and accepting anyone else. Let me ask you a couple questions. I think I have in mind what will really help you. What do you enjoy doing for fun? What exhilarates you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are right. Perhaps, I didn't put it across entirely correctly. Its more that others don't think I'm interesting. I am confident in who I am, but not confident that others will like who I am.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 Read these two sentences back to yourself: "I feel like I am an an uninteresting person with practically no personality"
"I should also mention that I love who I am. I think I am intelligent, funny and a generally nice guy"
Clearly there is a massive contradiction here, it sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself that you are happy with who you are yet quite obviously you dont believe it and deep down you think you are uninteresting. If you are not truly happy with yourself and dont have a true confidence from within, then this is going to come across to women.
What do you say to them that makes them run away? Why do you struggle to make friends?
If you struggle to make friends even with people of the same sex, then it sounds like you have social problems rather than simply difficulties in meeting women. Have you thought about going to see a psychologist/therapist? Social anxieties and issues in communicating with new people are common and can be easily sorted out, but you would need to see a professional for help.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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