A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you find a person to love? That is my question. I'm unhappily, very unhappily married. Never been happy in fact.I just want to love. Is it too much to ask? I love somebody now who's deeply committed to his fiance'. So,there is no chance in hell for me. We have an online affair, as it were, and we have spent 5 weekends together but I don't think we will again because the separation from him for me is devastating. So, at 34, I'm again at the point I was at 14 and ever since in reality: without a man to love. So my question: How do you find a person to love? I gave up on my marriage. My husband loves me a lot but I don't. I'm trying to break away without causing too much collateral damage but still, I want to know, how do you find a person to love?
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female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 Your husband loves you a lot but you don't love him. I don't know why. There are a lot of marriages out there that are working because the parties involved make it work. Have you thought of loving someone who may not love you in return, since you're married and he loves you maybe you need to put more effort into your marriage unless of course he's cheating or something like that. And if you're not just connecting then you shouldn't have married him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): Well it's pretty pointless looking for love while you're married, so sort that out first.
OP there is no special secret. You just end your marriage become single and the rest will just happen on its own through the natural process of dating.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (28 July 2011):
 Well the first thing NOT to do is have an affair! You will never find someone to love whilst you are still married, cheating on your husband, regardless of how you feel about him is still incredibly wrong and the man you had/are having an affair with will never love you because you are married to someone else! He knows you are just a bit of fun because you are not available to be in a relationship with, so he will treat you as casual sex rather than with the love and respect you are looking for.
What you need to do is get divorced, make your separation final and sort everything out there first. You have a loving husband yet he is not enough for you, so you need to leave and let him love someone who treats him right, rather than someone who cheats on him.
Once you are divorced, all the papers are signed etc then you can think about someone to love. Perhaps try online dating, joining some social clubs in your local area, doing some sporting activities at clubs where men will be....there are many ways of meeting men. But you can only meet men when you are SINGLE!!!! No man will ever love a woman who is married to someone else, any man will know that you belong to someone else so you are not serious relationship material, you are just sex and fun to them.
So if you want to be loved, happy, and with a man that you love too - leave your husband first and make sure your divorce is final before you start anything new. There are millions of men out there, you wont struggle to find someone to love when you are single - but you simply cant find someone to love when you are still married!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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