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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 6 July 2011: Stacey will think she is just second best to Anna and wont like that at all so she will say no, and then she will tell Anna that you asked her out and then any chance you had with Anna will be gone once and for all.
Maybe just cut your losses a... (read in full...)
How do I end things with my boyfriend without breaking his heart?
Q. Hi, I really need some advice. I think I want to end it with my boyfriend of 2 months. I dont think we are right for each other. However, it breaks my heart as he is the sweetest creature in the world. I just think the only thing that brought us ...
A. 28 June 2011: Glad it all went ok for you and good luck with your new guy!... (read in full...)
Still living with my ex and he is acting like we are still together! What should I do?
Q. My ex broke up with me in January. We still live together due to financial reasons, and have agreed to stay in our current place until our lease is up at the end of the year. I have moved into the spare bedroom and we live as roommates now. ...
A. 28 June 2011: Living with your ex is tough, I have been there myself and it was a weird transitional time between being a couple and being single again - it definitely does neither of you any good and makes everything more complicated. You dont actually feel like ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my teacher how I feel, or ignore him?
Q. I'm in year 10 at school ... I have liked my R.E teacher for almost four years. He's a great guy and we get on so well together. We have so much in common and we talk almost every day ... But recently he has been ignoring me in calss and just acting ...
A. 28 June 2011: My guess is that he has started ignoring you because he has realized that you might be attracted to him, so he wants to stop it before he could get into any trouble. He isnt angry, he just knows he could lose his job and go to prison if anyone ... (read in full...)
I love my FWB but he is flirting with other girls! What should I do?
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for ages and we both decided to be friends with benefits he is 3 years older than me, anyway i was supposed to see him on a certain night but i couldn't get to him so i told him and he got sorta ignorant with me, ...
A. 27 June 2011: Do you know what FWB means? It means friends with benefits - i.e. friends who have sex, friends who dont want to be together romantically but enjoy sex together because it is convenient. This is what you agreed to - so you should not be surprised ... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 27 June 2011: I think you should wait now to hear from her - she will be going through a difficult time, and has got your number now from one of her colleagues so best not to pester her. She did tell her colleague she wanted to get in touch with you but didnt ... (read in full...)
My BF has cheated on me so much and half the time it was when he was intoxicated and at parties, that I just can't trust him to go without me
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for a little over 2 years. I am 17 years old and he is just about to turn 21. We met when I was a freshman and he was a senior so obviously, the age difference didn't really matter to us to the extreme. ...
A. 27 June 2011: Its up to you I'm afraid, I know if I had been cheated on so many times he would be long gone by now. Being drunk is no excuse for cheating, he is obviously just a massive flirt and knows he can get away with it.
A relationship is nothing ... (read in full...)
Any advice/stories of your experiences of taking a decision about an unplanned pregnancy and ways in which can affect your relationship?
Q. Hi, my bf of 10 months and I have found out we have an unplanned pregnancy, and that i'm probably 2-3 weeks pregnant despite taking the oral contraceptive pill. We found out last week and have been talking things through. Neither of us has a child ...
A. 27 June 2011: As much as you may feel it is a burden you are having to carry alone and this decision rests entirely upon your shoulders - it may actually be a good thing that your boyfriend has simply said he will support you either way.
Here is a short st... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I are very level headed but our families don't think so
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love. We obviously are inseparable but our families don't see it that way. They see the two year age difference and not the wonderful relationship we have. His family thinks I'm going to ,not purposely, not w...
A. 27 June 2011: Well all you can do is carry on the way you are and your actions will prove to them that you are not impulsive.
They will be thinking you might end up getting pregnant, getting married, not going to college etc - but if you dont do any of these... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to gain weight!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years told me today that he wants me to gain weight because I'll look more beautiful. He has always told me before we started dating that he's into bigger girls. I have a small bust (wearing only a 32B). My measurements are ...
A. 27 June 2011: If he leaves you because you wont gain weight then he is an idiot and you are best off without him.
Dont do anything you dont want to do - at your height you are a good weight and dont need to lose or gain anything. If you dont want to put on w... (read in full...)
I love my kickboxing teacher but he has a girlfriend, what can I do to get more of his attention?
Q. I really like my kickboxing teacher he is really fit and dreamy he always laughing with me and hugs me a lot which i love. i defo love him but he has a young girlfriend, so does he love me and what can i do to get more of his attention ? X ...
A. 27 June 2011: Sorry but this really does not sound like a question from a 26-29 year old.
He has a girlfriend - leave him alone! He might have a laugh with you, but I'm sure he has a laugh with plenty of other people in his classes, it doesnt mean he loves yo... (read in full...)
Helping an insecure girlfriend feel secure.....
Q. Hello Question: My GF wants me to delete all my pictures of my ex. Erase everything completely. I love my GF very much, but I don't want to do this and don't believe she has the right to ask this of me. She is very hurt though and finds it difficu...
A. 27 June 2011: Well she does sound jealous and insecure, but you are not helping the situation at all!
First of all - meeting up with the ex's friend and organising it through Facebook. Yes you did not hide it, but you clearly did not tell your girlfrie... (read in full...)
I right to feel this betrayed by this guy? Should I be even considering him as the father of my 1st born?
Q. Dear Cupid I dated this guy in 2009 but we broke up after a few months because he told me he wanted to do "some soul searching" basically he dumped me, we were however, still pretty close and we slept together every now and then(after the b...
A. 27 June 2011: Sorry did I read this correctly - you are in a committed relationship but are going to cheat on your partner with an ex just so you can have his baby? Is that really what you are considering?
The definition of committed might help you make you... (read in full...)
Why are guys intimidated by curves?
Q. Ok, I know this sounds strange as most guys do like curves, but I feel as though mine are just wasted and I might as well lose weight and become a stick insect! lol! I was basically talking to a guy friend of mine, and he said most douche bags go ...
A. 25 June 2011: Well I wouldn't say a size 10 is exactly curvy, all my size 10 friends are pretty slim! I would say I am a more typical 'curvy' female as I am a 12-14, I have 34E boobs, a 27 inch waist and 32 inch hips. I also run and I'm training for a half ... (read in full...)
I am really torn because I don't want to stop the affair but I am also afraid of moving forward.
Q. Hi everyone. I really need some help. I am a married man with a young child. For the past six months, I have been friends with a woman in our circle of friends whom I am very attracted to. We have flirted and it is clear that we have a connecti...
A. 24 June 2011: Quite simply - work on your marriage and dont see this woman alone. If you put all of your energy into getting your marriage back on track it will keep you occupied and will stop you from thinking about this other woman so much. And if you are never ... (read in full...)
How do I end things with my boyfriend without breaking his heart?
Q. Hi, I really need some advice. I think I want to end it with my boyfriend of 2 months. I dont think we are right for each other. However, it breaks my heart as he is the sweetest creature in the world. I just think the only thing that brought us ...
A. 24 June 2011: Glad I can help!
Any break up is a shock, even when a relationship goes bad often people are in denial that there is nothing wrong, so the break up would still be a shock.
I know you are only trying to protect him and you dont want to hurt a n... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 24 June 2011: That sounds fine - one word of advice, dont say "I thought" as it sounds like you are being too careful about what she wants to do and what she will think. Women like it when a man is organised and has gone to the effort of planning the date.
... (read in full...)
How do I end things with my boyfriend without breaking his heart?
Q. Hi, I really need some advice. I think I want to end it with my boyfriend of 2 months. I dont think we are right for each other. However, it breaks my heart as he is the sweetest creature in the world. I just think the only thing that brought us ...
A. 24 June 2011: Sounds like you are making excuses to delay breaking up with him!
Its up to you what you do next - but there is never a good time to break up with him. If you wait for his exams to finish, then you will end up going to the prom with him, then aft... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 24 June 2011: Get a cab - getting a lift makes you look like you depend on other people to get around, that you are not very independent and you use people to be your personal taxi. Not a good first impression!
But getting a cab wont seem odd to her, it will ... (read in full...)
I want to date this girl but how do I get past her overprotective mom?
Q. There's this girl, we want to date. or not even date, its just we are so insanely happy when we are together... i told her i hate people like us because when youre over on the other side of the room, and you look, it just makes you sick how happy we ...
A. 24 June 2011: I guess you are just going to have to sit down, the three of you (the girl you like, her mom and you) together and talk about it. If you and your girl talk to her together, that will be better than you going up to the mom alone. With the girl there, ... (read in full...)
How do I end things with my boyfriend without breaking his heart?
Q. Hi, I really need some advice. I think I want to end it with my boyfriend of 2 months. I dont think we are right for each other. However, it breaks my heart as he is the sweetest creature in the world. I just think the only thing that brought us ...
A. 24 June 2011: You need to tell him now before it gets any closer to his prom, dragging it out longer will only make things worse.
Breaking up with someone is never easy, and there is no good way to say it - all you can do is be honest, do it face to face if ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend feel the same way I do about living together?
Q. My mother hasn't spoken to me in four months and last night, started laying into me, saying she wanted an apology. The fight went like this: she insulted me.. I was hurt.. I told her to back off and leave me alone.. she wants an apology for the ...
A. 24 June 2011: Your question is incredibly similar to this one http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-should-i-do-about-my-family-they.html
And this one
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-the-perfect-child-yet-my-family-loves.html
And this one
http://www... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 24 June 2011: Dont get her number from her colleagues - they shouldnt really give it to you either to be honest, they should not give out personal information like phone numbers.
She needs to give you her mobile number herself, that shows that she is happy fo... (read in full...)
How to get over a girl that you can never have?
Q. I've really liked this girl at work for the past few months, I've been non-stop flirting with her and she seemed to be in to me as well. Then we went to a movie, but it didn't end up being a date, just like friends hanging out. And all the stuff she ...
A. 23 June 2011: There is no magic formula for getting over someone, all you can do is give it time and put some distance between you and her. Staying close friends with someone you have feelings for is a recipe for disaster and will only keeped you hooked, so you ... (read in full...)
I feel embarrassed about eating around my boyfriend.
Q. Well, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. We just moved in to an apartment together in April. I've always been curvier and possibly a little overweight... but it generally stays the same. I'm a size 16, 18 on a bad day,...
A. 23 June 2011: Well how about you go on a diet and try and eat properly, then your issues with food and eating will get a bit better hence eating around other people wont seem so bad.
A US size 16 or 18 is a bit on the large side, there is nothing wrong wi... (read in full...)
Am I right in being mad at him? What should I do?
Q. Hello, i just asked a recent question on this topic but its got worse, so this guy who has fancied me and my freind for ages, he sent both of us they same sweet texts and called us babe and put loads of kisses at the end of each text he always told ...
A. 23 June 2011: Yes you are right to be annoyed with him, he was flirting with 2 girls at the same time which is wrong and a bit cheap. At least you had a lucky escape from him though - he clearly is a player and not a nice guy, I know you liked him but really, he ... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 23 June 2011: Gosh if you think this is agony you really should read some of the other posts on this site, you will soon find out what real agony and real problems are!
Yes, call her tommorow, thats fine. She is allowed a day off you know, perhaps tomorow ... (read in full...)
He didnt invite me to his sister's wedding, nor has he even told his family about me! Am I right to be upset?
Q. Would anyone on here be upset that your boyfriend hadnt asked you to his sisters wedding? Ive being going with this guy for the last 8 month. His sister gets married next weekend, he has talked about the wedding and the plans for it but never on...
A. 23 June 2011: The main issue is that he has not told his family about you. As the others have said - your boyfriend is not in charge of the guestlist to the wedding, he cant invite you unless his sister says its ok because after all, it is her wedding. And it is ... (read in full...)
My best friend told me I should avoid him because of the age difference, but my other friend said I should go after him if I want him. What do I do?
Q. I've been doing work experience for a month and today was my last day. The 18 year old guy (he just turned 18 a week ago) is my boss/ supervisor (he's not head boss, just of our section). I do really like him in both ways, and I knew him a little ...
A. 23 June 2011: Well the age difference then is not too huge if he has just turned 18, it will only be 2 and a bit years. In most circumstances, 2-3 year age gaps are very normal and nothing to be overly concerned with.
The only problem in your case is the fact... (read in full...)
I daren't tell him I like him because I don't want to look stupid. Also, he already expressed that he wasn't interested in a relationship! So if nothing is going to happen, then is there any point in me even telling him?
Q. Hello Dearcupids :-) I need some guidance on a situation, don't really know what is going on. There's a guy who recently started paying a lot of attention to me. Initially, we didn't really talk much but i'd often notice him staring at me du...
A. 22 June 2011: Well how much older is this other guy? How old are you? Is he married? In a relationship? Does he have kids? Have you ever met him? I need more info on the older man otherwise I cant really say who you should go for.
As for the guy who has been... (read in full...)
I wrote him a message telling him I liked him and all he said was 'thanks!' Now what?
Q. I'm a girl and I like a guy.. the problem is he is bisexual and likes most gays..he confuses me sometimes..he tells me he is straight as a highway and after well i dont know about my sexuality again..bisexual,gay and again straight..he confuses...
A. 22 June 2011: There is nothing more you can do I'm afraid - you told him how you feel and he is not interested otherwise he would have told you, so just accept he is just going to be your friend and nothing more.
If you want to keep talking to him thats fi... (read in full...)
Why do I feel really weird around my guy friend...?
Q. Dear Cupid Why do I feel really weird around my guy friend...? lets call him "Danny" I posted a question back in January about my friends trying to push me and "Danny" together, they did eventually stop as they saw how it was affecting us! ...
A. 22 June 2011: Ok, not sure why you have decided 'nothing can ever happen' - does he have a girlfriend or something? I reckon you have missed some info out there, there is nothing in your post that indicates nothing can ever happen, that is a bit drastic!
All y... (read in full...)
My best friend told me I should avoid him because of the age difference, but my other friend said I should go after him if I want him. What do I do?
Q. I've been doing work experience for a month and today was my last day. The 18 year old guy (he just turned 18 a week ago) is my boss/ supervisor (he's not head boss, just of our section). I do really like him in both ways, and I knew him a little ...
A. 22 June 2011: Well how old are you? Your age says 13-15 but that is a pretty big range when we are discussing an 18 year old! If it is an 18 year old kissing a 13 year old girl? That is very scary. If it is an 18 year old kissing a 15 year old who is nearly 16, ... (read in full...)
We live 700 miles apart, could this ever work?
Q. Um I don't know how to start this. I met this girl on an online chat website.. I'm sure everyone has heard of this online chat website. Anyhow we really like each other now. I tell her I love her all the time and we never run out of things to talk ...
A. 22 June 2011: I would be more worried about the age difference than the distance to be honest - what would her parents say if they found out? She is a minor, your relationship would be on very shaky ground and if anything turned even slightly sexual you would get ... (read in full...)
He expects me to wait until he is back from the pub to cook his dinner!
Q. My boyfriend has recently started to go to the pub every Friday after work with his new work colleagues. I wait until he gets home from work all week before I start cooking dinner. He can get home after 6pm and he likes to chill out for a bit before ...
A. 22 June 2011: This is not the 1940's, nor are you his personal chef - just tell him that on a Friday you will not be cooking his dinner when he goes to the pub because he gets home too late, and that is final.
He is a grown man, he can look after himself.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has broken his leg, I've been invited to a party and I'm wondering if I should go.
Q. Hi. My bf has just broken his leg. He is coming to stay with me this weekend. I have never been through anything like this before and although my bf is the least needy person I have ever met, I am struggling to cope with him being so unwell. He has ...
A. 20 June 2011: I think you might be over-reacting a bit now, this is just a common little argument that all couples have and nothing to get worked up about.
He has not seen this friend in a while, and arranged for him to come round on Tuesday - he simply d... (read in full...)
My partner broke up with me after his mum passed away, and because of his daughter's unreasonable demands. Will he come back to me?
Q. my partner finished with me (well said he needed space three weeks ago to apparently find his identity- there is a big age gap but that's not the issue). I couldn't accept that so he changed his locks and email passwords etc. I went round 8 days a...
A. 20 June 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-breaks-up-with-me-every-summer-and.html
That question is incredibly similar - any chance it is the same person? If not - apologies, and maybe read everyone's advice to her, it should help you.
I will say al... (read in full...)
Will I be able to choose what contraceptive pill I go on when I visit the doctors?
Q. Hello all, just a small question here, I am going the doctors tomorrow to ask to go on the contraceptive pill, and I was wondering how it works.. Do I get a choice of which contraceptive pill I get to take? Or will they just prescribe me a certain ...
A. 20 June 2011: Your doctor should discuss with you the many contraceptive options (the pill, the injection, the implant etc) - each one is slightly different and once you have discussed it with your doctor, you might find that actually the pill is not the best ... (read in full...)
He's been very obviously staring at my body for four years. People have made comment. What is his problem?
Q. There's an older (married) guy who has been attracted to me for four years and has made it obvious. Unlike most guys, he is actually interested in me (not just my body) in getting to know the person I am. He never came up to me to talk or anyt...
A. 20 June 2011: Well it all depends on your sister really - will she be upset if you are not there? Are your parents going to support her? How old is she? Does she come along to all of your sporting events or other similar events?
I cant imagine why your sis... (read in full...)
Living in a foreign country and about to return home, my ex has asked if I can buy her some jewellery which she will pay for - shall I buy it? Should I tell my wife?
Q. Hi guys, I have been living in a foreign country for two years with my wife and plan to return to our home country soon. Yesterday, my ex surprised me with a call asking me to buy her some jewellery but made it very clear she would pay for it. I ...
A. 20 June 2011: Tell your wife that you have had this phone call from your ex and the whole thing has made you feel very uncomfortable. Your wife will be pleased you have told her before anything else has happened, I dont think she can be upset or annoyed that you ... (read in full...)
He touched another girl's tummy
Q. hiya. i've been with my boyfriend 3 years.. basically it was boyfriends 21st last night and i was invited to go out with him and his friends (which is very rare), but we went out. there was me, him, 3 of his lad mates and 1 girl. the girl was nic...
A. 20 June 2011: I would be more upset about him leaving you in town, than a bit of drunk dancing with the other girl!
But from what you have said about him in this short post, he doesnt sound like a great boyfriend to be honest! You have said the followin... (read in full...)
Am I lucky to be rid of him?
Q. I met this guy on a dating site, im 64 and he is 52, he was into everything, ex heroin addict, women and children galore, cannibis, and lsd, but i accepted him as basically he gave the impression he was a kind guy, we split up last january, then...
A. 20 June 2011: Sounds like you are lucky to be rid of him - I think you just need to cut contact and move on. Yes it is annoying that you have some clothes at his house, but you can easily get some more clothes so might be best just to cut your losses now.
... (read in full...)
Disappointed in engagement ring, am I being selfish?
Q. I'm interested in your opinions. My boyfriend was engaged before he met me. He bought her a very beautiful $7000 ring, for which he spent all his savings on. The relationship failed and she returned the ring. After us being together for ov...
A. 20 June 2011: OP - what did he say when you told him you were disappointed with it?
I think you have every right to be upset, and no you are not being selfish at all. The main issue is that he took you out shopping to look at rings, you showed him what you... (read in full...)
He's been very obviously staring at my body for four years. People have made comment. What is his problem?
Q. There's an older (married) guy who has been attracted to me for four years and has made it obvious. Unlike most guys, he is actually interested in me (not just my body) in getting to know the person I am. He never came up to me to talk or anyt...
A. 20 June 2011: All the other posters have hit the nail on the head - if he has been staring at you for 4 years, that meant you were 12 when he started staring at you, which indicates that this man may have some serious issues and be a dangerous person around ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has broken his leg, I've been invited to a party and I'm wondering if I should go.
Q. Hi. My bf has just broken his leg. He is coming to stay with me this weekend. I have never been through anything like this before and although my bf is the least needy person I have ever met, I am struggling to cope with him being so unwell. He has ...
A. 17 June 2011: Well show him what committment is then, and hopefully, if you do ever get ill one day, then he will remember what you have done for him and he will return the favour. Just because you think he might act a certain way does not mean you should do the ... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 17 June 2011: Call whenever you want! Are you actually being serious here? Can you not make the decision yourself when to make a phone call?
Sorry but it seems incredibly odd to me that you cannot make a simple decision such as this on your own, it is just a p... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has broken his leg, I've been invited to a party and I'm wondering if I should go.
Q. Hi. My bf has just broken his leg. He is coming to stay with me this weekend. I have never been through anything like this before and although my bf is the least needy person I have ever met, I am struggling to cope with him being so unwell. He has ...
A. 17 June 2011: I dont think you should go - your friend will have another birthday next year, and you can make it up to her by taking her out or something in a few days time.
Your boyfriend is coming to visit you, he is making the effort to see you and visit yo... (read in full...)
I really liked my waitress and want to ask her out
Q. For my birthday yesterday we (mates and I) went to the 7 Diner, which is a place local to me 10 mins drive from here. The waitress was called Anna, and she was beautiful. She came over with a birthday cake later and sang Happy Birthday to me, and ...
A. 15 June 2011: Well if its only a 10 mins drive, surely it cant be more than a half an hour walk? There is no reason not to walk over there and ask her out in person, that would be better than ringing up.
But be prepared for a rejection, the letter you sent mig... (read in full...)
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