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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I'm ready to have sex with him, but it's my first time...advice?
Q. Hey guys this is a really personal question and I hope you can help me with it I,ve been dating this guy for nearly two months. He makes me feel amazing and beautiful and like i,m the only girl in the world I,ve met his family and I think they...
A. 5 September 2011: Ok well first things first, yes you need to use condoms to prevent STD's, but it is also a good idea to be on birth control to prevent pregnancy. Condoms do prevent pregnacy but there is always a chance of the condom breaking, slipping, some of the ... (read in full...)
Ladies: Why would someone not want a boyfriend? Doesn't every girl want to be loved by someone and have a guy that they can call there own?
Q. This is a question to the females of DC.... Now, a while back I was very interested in a girl, we had been friends for a little while and I told her that I wanted to be more than that - however, she told me that she didn't want a bf, so I was pre...
A. 5 September 2011: To be honest it is unlikely this was a legitimate answer, sorry to say. This is a VERY common excuse for a girl (or guy) to use when they are not interested in someone but dont want to hurt their feelings. So it was easier for her to say to you that ... (read in full...)
Am I scared of getting married, or is something else going on?
Q. Hi, I have questions that I wish to have answered, but I do not think an answer exists to these questions. I guess I am looking for what other people think, and I am not expecting some magic response... My fiancee and I have been together...
A. 2 September 2011: It sounds like you are just having the common 'cold feet' before the wedding which is normal for most people, both men and women. The enormity of the committment doesnt normally become real until the date of the wedding is close, at which point ... (read in full...)
Wife & girlfriend - I love them both!
Q. I am married businessman with wife and a kid and loves both of them very much and sincerely committed. However fell in love with a girl in office, she too loves me a lot but getting married to guy in near future and would want to continue this ...
A. 2 September 2011: 1. The only possible outcome for this relationship is that eventually you will get found out, your wife will divorce you, you will hardly ever see your child and you will be alone. The girl in the office will probably beg and plead with her fiance ... (read in full...)
She says she can't get pregnant and its ok not to use condoms
Q. She says she can't have baby any more... Hello, the girl who I am going to have sex with told me that she can not have any more babies...she said it is safe for me to cum gallons of sperms inside her, and she doesn't want me to use condoms...sh...
A. 1 September 2011: No you should not believe her. Even if a doctor has told her she is infertile or will struggle to get pregnant ever again, there is always a chance, no matter how small, that she still could get pregnant. You hear all the time about women who have ... (read in full...)
How do I break it off with this married man?
Q. How in the world do I break it off with the married guy im sleeping with? im tired of him texting only for sex. He doesn't have a real conversation with me anymore. The sex is so wonderful with him but I can't take not being respected anymore. He ...
A. 31 August 2011: You dont need to be a bitch, you dont need to be nice either - just be honest. There is no point in trying to make him feel bad, this man is a cheater and a liar, chances are he hasnt got any morals so telling him what a bad guy he is wont make any ... (read in full...)
Are all woman like this? Or are some more faithful and genuine than my ex?
Q. I'm just wondering if I'm too trusting or maybe too innocent. I've only been involved in a relationships, on two separate occasions, each time with the same person. In each case she cheated on me with an ex boyfriend. In fact it turns out that s...
A. 31 August 2011: What you have experienced with your ex, and the situation with your friend, are two entirely different scenarios and should not be treated the same.
With your ex, you have been unfortunate enough to go out with a serial cheater - you said you... (read in full...)
My pregnant Gf no longer wants to see me. How do I get her back? I was texting prostitutes
Q. My current girlfriend (whom I do want to marry) is 2 months pregnant and she looked through my phone only to discover text messages I had with other girls as well as prostitutes to set up dates. I have never cheated on her or gave her reason to thin...
A. 25 August 2011: First things first - you gave her MANY reasons to think you were cheating, you were texting other girls, and setting up dates with prostitues. As far as your girlfriend will be concerned, even if you did not actually cheat, you were going to very ... (read in full...)
Tricked by a man - again!
Q. What is going on with me ? I have just been totally tricked yet again.I have had my fair share of life lessons regarding relationships but seem more naive than I have ever been. I met a guy who I thought really liked me .he seemed so genuine and we ...
A. 23 August 2011: This is just classic male behaviour - man says lots of nice things to woman, woman laps it all up and enjoys the attention, man is aware that his lines are working, man and woman sleep together, man doesnt contact her again.
Basically, if a man... (read in full...)
I do drugs, smoke and drink to relieve boredom. I want help to stop before I ruin my life
Q. Hi :) I'm asking this because im starting to get a bit worried. Im generally a sensible person, but I dont (in my view) have a very exciting life and sometimes I feel really trapped and I have to go out and do something that I wouldn't usually do. ...
A. 23 August 2011: Well what, in your opinion, would make your life exciting? Aside from drugs etc. Would having more friends make it more exciting? Would having some interesting hobbies make it more exciting? Would having a job make it more exciting? Would doing ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my kid's father's brother but I think the family and my kids will be feel hurt if we get together
Q. I have fallen in love with my kids father's brother and we want to be together. We have always been attracted together but we never expressed our mutual attraction for one another til his wife passed away 5 yrs ago and his brother went to prison for ...
A. 23 August 2011: My main concern would be for the children - it will be very hard for them to come to terms with their uncle being their new step-dad, you will for certain confuse them, and possibly subject them to bullying at school (kids often find these things ... (read in full...)
Tricked by a man - again!
Q. What is going on with me ? I have just been totally tricked yet again.I have had my fair share of life lessons regarding relationships but seem more naive than I have ever been. I met a guy who I thought really liked me .he seemed so genuine and we ...
A. 23 August 2011: What did this man do to you? How did he trick you? How did he use you - did you have sex with him?
More information is needed before we can comment in detail!... (read in full...)
I had an abortion and can't get over the guilt
Q. I'm afraid I am the worlds most horrible person and do not deserve to be here. 6 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful child, just. Under a year later I fell pregnant again, I was bipolar at the time and didn't think I could handle another child so...
A. 22 August 2011: Dealing with something like this is always going to be hard, and it is perfectly normal to have these feelings so dont be too hard on yourself for feeling this way.
But you have to keep in mind that at the time, you thought you were doing th... (read in full...)
If I keep this up I'm going to get caught! Who do I choose?
Q. I've been seeing this guy I went to high school with. We've been seeing each other for about 8/9 months. We'll call him Derrick. When we first starting talking to each other again I had just got in a new relationship. I didn't tell Derrick about it. ...
A. 22 August 2011: Read this sentence from your own post back to yourself "I know it was wrong but I didn't feel an ounce of guilt or regret" - this confirms that actually, you dont have any real feelings for Kevin, you happily cheated on him and dont feel at all ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a relationship with a much older man?
Q. An older man contacted me. He is older by a lot but likes me and wants to have a relationship. I like him but he is old! and i am waaaay younger. He wants me sexually but is it wrong to like someone with a 50 year difference? Is something wrong with ...
A. 22 August 2011: So let me get this straight - you are 18-21, so this man is 68-71?! I'm surpised at that age he can even get it up!
You cant have a relationship with a man this age, sorry to say this but he doesnt have many years left, maybe 10 years, 15 if he is... (read in full...)
What do girls think of guys who offer to buy them drinks?
Q. Ok this isnt really a relationship question but it is related to boy-girl stuff. A friend of mine told me the other night that he has never bought a girl a drink--he says that its basically like prostitution, paying a girl to like you. This struck ...
A. 17 August 2011: I wouldnt say its paying a girl to like you, if that were the case well us girls are pretty cheap (or easily bought)!
The reason why I like it when a guy buys me a drink is because it is good manners/polite, it harks back to the days when men... (read in full...)
Does physical appearance matter much to girls?
Q. Hey guys, this is mainly for teenagers but I would like to hear what others have to say about it too. Does physical appearance matter much to girls, by appearance I mean like muscle or height. Also ive talked with tons of girls that say penis size ...
A. 17 August 2011: Well physical appearance matters to everyone, male or female! You dont have lasting relationships with someone you are not attracted to!
But in terms of the specific things you have mentioned, well every girl is different. I know plenty of guys ... (read in full...)
I'm confused. She gave me her number and now won't answer?!
Q. So, a couple days ago at work this group comes in. I'm behind the desk so I help everyone. Consequently I sing really well so from time to time i sing to customers and at some point during the night, must have sung to this girl because she came up ...
A. 17 August 2011: Person12345 is totally right - I know I have even been guilty of doing this. You might get chatting to someone and think the guy is nice enough but you are not really interested, then he asks for your number - so the easiest thing to do is give him ... (read in full...)
Am I over-analyzing/ over-stressing about my situation? Or is my restlessness justified?
Q. My boyfriend and I met in college where we were first friends and now have been dating for 4 years. I would love for him to propose to me sometime soon. However,I do not have a job and without the financial stability of two incomes (his and mine), ...
A. 17 August 2011: Yes you are over-stressing here. Love should not have a time-limit, there should be none of these pressures that you are placing on yourself here.
If you want sex, just have sex when you next see each other. I hate it when people say they don... (read in full...)
Completely infatuated by an older married man!
Q. I met Craig* almost 6 months ago. He's in his mid 40's and as the title states, he's married. He also has children who're close to my age (I'm 21). We're in a band together and meet once a week for band practice so, I see him fairly often. I ...
A. 17 August 2011: You have to look at it this way - it is not a once in a lifetime opportunity for Craig, it would not be a good thing for him, in fact it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to ruin his life.
He has a wife and children, he is happily ... (read in full...)
I cant get over the fact I'm not going to be her first kiss!
Q. I've never been kissed. My girlfriend has. We met in person, now long distance, it has been almost a year. She was kissed years ago, and it still makes her feel used to me. It hurts so bad, and I am so depressed. I've waited my whole life for h...
A. 17 August 2011: You might need to provide that information about why you feel so strongly about first kisses, because this is just utterly ridiculous and so unbelievably immature.
Most people on this site who have a problem with their partner's past are upset th... (read in full...)
I'm prepared to face the consequences of dating a married man, so how do I approach him?
Q. It’s been two years now that I feel attracted to a man at my workplace. The problem is that he’s married. Yeah, I already know what you’ll tell me: Stay away from him. I’ve done so for the past two years but I still feel the same attraction. I know ...
A. 16 August 2011: Do you honestly expect to get any advice on this site telling you how to approach this man?! If you honestly want to snare a married man and lure him away from his wife, then this really is not the place to be asking for advice. Try googling ... (read in full...)
Filled with regret for the way things ended with BF.
Q. I am filled with dread and regret after breaking up with my boyfriend of 9 months. I don't want it to end but it couldn't stay as it was. He was being cold, not returning my phone calls for days and then I found evidence that he was flirting wit...
A. 16 August 2011: If he loved you and wanted the relationship to work he would have fought for it - simple as that. He was clearly very happy to get out, happy to cut you off and move on very quickly, which means I'm afraid that he never really loved you or cared ... (read in full...)
I want my ex back but don't know how to go about it
Q. My exboyfriend and I been together for almost four years. We were having arguments now and then and he decided to end the relationship and i decided to agree with it because i didn't had any choice. After our breakup i tried to talk to him but he ...
A. 16 August 2011: Look, you have broken up and got back together so many times, this is a clear indicator that the relationship isnt working and you are not compatible. I know it will be hard to let go, but you are only young and there are plenty of other guys who ... (read in full...)
How do people get their boyfriend or girlfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, this is not my first time posting in here. I am quite lost at the moment because I am not sure about relationships between women and men. In the past two years, I have been seeking for a suitable partner or a girlfriend for m...
A. 16 August 2011: The main key thing to remember here is that you have to take the next step to boyfriend material BEFORE you fall into the friend zone. Not many people meet their partners by being best friends first, in fact out of all my boyfriends in the past I ... (read in full...)
How would a guy act if he wanted more than a FWB relationship?
Q. hi how would i be able to tell if my fwb (a man) wanted more im not sure because i like him but keep on getting mixed signals off him so im very confused and not sure what to do i can.t ask him cos i don,t want to make a fool of myself if he doesnt ...
A. 15 August 2011: Well quite simply - a man who wants more doesnt have FWB relationships. So the fact you are just his FWB means he doesnt want anything more from you.
Basically if you have sex with him quickly after meeting and get into a FWB, he is never go... (read in full...)
What is the proper etiquette with friends when out clubbing?
Q. Just wondering on the general perception of ettiquite in this scenario. If you're out partying at a club with just one friend, and someone tries to hook up with you, is it acceptable to just casually make out with them while your friend just chil...
A. 15 August 2011: This is a tough one....it isnt great to leave a friend alone to make out with a guy, after all you have gone clubbing together so to leave her alone is a bit harsh!
But then again you could argue it the other way, that if you are both single c... (read in full...)
Does losing your virginity make your more vulnerable to that person?
Q. Does losing your virginity to a boyfriend/girlfriend make one more clingy to them? Specifically to the guys, were you more attached to the girl you lost your virginity to, assuming you were in a relationship? I ask because my current boyfrien...
A. 15 August 2011: Well women have more of an attachment to men following sex, men dont really experience the same release of hormones that women get after sex. So I would not say he is going to be massively more attached to you than he was before.
Maybe he will ... (read in full...)
It started as a joke but things have changed
Q. Hi guys. so I have a problem and really need advice because its eating me up completely! so im 21 and im a student. and me and a friend were on an online dating website about a week ago just looking and we decided to make me a profile. I gave a f...
A. 15 August 2011: Well be prepared for his reaction - he is NOT going to take this well. No-one would laugh this off, or say "oh its ok I still like you" - you have lied to him for nearly a week and he will wonder what else you have lied about. He wont be able to ... (read in full...)
Is high status a turn on for women?
Q. For those women who care what others think of their BFs, is high status itself (not his confidence) a sexual turn on like boobs are for men? Eg. a TV presenter, CEO, famous musician, etc....
A. 15 August 2011: Ok I'm female, and I can tell you this - a guy being famous is NOT a turn on, I would never want to date a famous musician, TV presenter....generally anyone who is in the public eye. I couldnt cope with the extended periods of separation and the ... (read in full...)
He tells me some men take advantage, and I am paranoid he is one who will
Q. my boyfriend is younger than me. He is from a different country and is muslim. He wants to get married in the next few weeks at the local register office. and would like a baby. He lives with his cousins but has been staying with me every night ...
A. 15 August 2011: How long have you been together? Is he a legal resident in Ireland or is he only there on a Visa/Work permit?
I cant really say what his intentions are without knowing the answers to these 2 questions, it does sound rather suspicious but if he is... (read in full...)
Drunken unprotected sex during one night stand has me freaking out!
Q. I feel like the dumbest person ever I got so drunk. That I ended up having sex with a guy and did not use a condom and he came in me! We immediately went got the plan B bill and I'm so afraid of pregnancy hiv/aids or stds.. please help me someone. ...
A. 15 August 2011: Go to your doctors and get tested. That is all you can do. Until your test results come back dont sleep with your husband without a condom.
And perhaps consider coming clean to your husband that you cheated, regardless of whether you will dri... (read in full...)
Is he just talking to me to pass the time?
Q. Hey, i signed up to this dating site and met this boy we did only talk for a day and then swapped numbers, we started texting and decided to met up. We met up and we got on well, and then met up last night to. We both havent long got out of relat...
A. 12 August 2011: Just relax a bit and let him do the chasing. If you are newly single then chances are this might be your first romantic interest since your ex, so it will all seem a bit new to you again.
Men like to do the chasing, and women should let them bec... (read in full...)
My best guy friend (who I've been interested in for ages) broke up with his g/f - what should I do?
Q. B and I have known each other 3yrs and are very close. Before he met her, A, 2yrs ago, we were flirting, spending a lot of time together, and made out. It would have gone further, but he'd only broken up with his previous g/f two weeks earlier (bad ...
A. 11 August 2011: Kyle007 is right - you have never been his first choice, just an interim girl he can have for company inbetween girlfriends.
You can do better - leave him alone, dont betray the girl and find a guy who really thinks you are special and someone ... (read in full...)
We love each other but she doesn't want to leave her b/f, he has a serious illness
Q. Hi everyone, firstly any opinions and advice given would be hugely appreciated, so thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. I'll try to keep it as brief as possible. Me and my best friend are completely in love with each other, (I'm...
A. 11 August 2011: Simple - if she loved you that much she would leave him. Yes Leukemia is awful and it must be hard to end it with someone so ill, however presuming this guy is reasonably young like you both are, he should recover without too many problems. He will ... (read in full...)
Can I get some sort of camera to watch my ex with our baby?
Q. ok before i ask for help i want to make it very clear i am not a nutter pretty much me and my bf are not together any more and we have a newborn baby now he want's to take the baby but i don't want him to have it in saying that i don't want to be a ...
A. 11 August 2011: Well why dont you want him to take the baby? What are your reasons?
At the moment you do sound like a nutter, you havent given any valid reasons why you think he is a bad father or would be a danger to the child. This is his baby too, you cant... (read in full...)
Might I have a chance with something amazing? Or could he become clingy later?
Q. Question first: Is he pathetic or will he grow clingy or might I genuinely have a chance at something spectacular? The situation: Been pretty good friends with a heavier-set guy for years now (I'm rather petite). At age 21, we had sex for the firs...
A. 11 August 2011: It seems you have a great connection and you said yourself it feels 'right' so it sounds like you have a good chance at something amazing here! Dont miss out!
But equally, he does sound like an emotionally open, caring, sensitive kind of guy and ... (read in full...)
I cant get rid of the evidence!
Q. Hello, This is soooo embarassing but basically my mum has been away for a week and so is my dad so my boy friend came round and had sex. However when he climaxed the semen leaked onto my bed and there is now a large yellowey stain on my covers, ...
A. 10 August 2011: Put it in the washing machine on a hot wash (check the label first). If that doesnt work - take it to the dry cleaners. Or buy some stain remover.
Scrubbing with your hands is never going to work, it needs to be properly washed either in a washin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is jealous of my kids!
Q. My boyfriend seems to be jealous of my kids he Is tryin to go ahead and push them grow up I understand my kids are getting older and they need to start planning to move out My question is how would you feelin about his eagerness in getting them ...
A. 10 August 2011: Well in that case you have equal rights to have your say, but it means that he cannot lay down the law and you have to obey - if there is no valid reason for him wanting your kids to move out apart from he wants more space or wants to be a little ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is jealous of my kids!
Q. My boyfriend seems to be jealous of my kids he Is tryin to go ahead and push them grow up I understand my kids are getting older and they need to start planning to move out My question is how would you feelin about his eagerness in getting them ...
A. 10 August 2011: That is a bit worrying if he is pushing them to move out - do you share the house with your boyfriend? Do you own the house or does he own it?
If it is your own house and they are your kids, then he has no right in trying to push them out and ... (read in full...)
Is this guy not into me because I'm pregnant?
Q. ok theres this guy i grew up with, small town, itll be 3 yrs ago in jan that we had really hung out, he had been in Iraq n lived in Arizona at the time, but was back to visit family. well we had be talking back and forth for a couple weeks so i ...
A. 10 August 2011: It could be that it is the baby - not many men like women who have so much baggage, and very few men want to end up raising another man's child hence why a lot of men would steer clear of single mothers.
It is clear he does like you - the thin... (read in full...)
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