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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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What should I wear on a first date?
Q. What should I wear on a first date, I want to look nice but not too try hard. Also I dunno how much make up to wear or how to have my hair. Any general tips ?...
A. 26 July 2011: Quite simply, try and be natural. Dont wear your hair too different to how you normally have it, and dont wear loads more make-up than you normally would otherwise you will feel like a different person, and thats not good! The guy will want to get ... (read in full...)
We broke up today and he was my 1st everything!
Q. Ok, so i am 17. I have only had one boyfriend in my life...and we have been together for almost three months and today we broke up and now we aint even freinds or anything...we do well to talk any now. I just don't know what to do. The reason i am ...
A. 26 July 2011: Why did you break up? Did he break up with you? Without knowing this information I cant really help you!... (read in full...)
Men/boys are confusing! I need help figuring this one out.....
Q. I met this guy at my internship. Recently, I notice that whenever we talk, we would always smile at each other; he would maintain eye contacts when we talk. Last week, he took a whole week off, I guess due to vacation. So, I was excited to see him ...
A. 26 July 2011: Sounds like he is backing off I'm afraid. There could be a million reasons why so there is not much point in guessing - I think you simply just have to accept that isnt interested and move on.
Men are weird sometimes (so are girls though!)... (read in full...)
My boyfriend earns more than me, should he pay for more once we buy a house together?
Q. Hi. I have just had an interesting conversation with my colleague. I am about to buy a house with my bf of 18 months. He has fronted the 10% deposit for the house as he has managed to save really well over the last couple of years whereas I am c**p ...
A. 25 July 2011: It is personal choice, if you feel your relationship is based more on equality then dont worry about what your colleague said, you have to do what is right for you and your relationship.
I personally actually agree with your colleague - if the m... (read in full...)
What gives women the right to judge men for having been to prostitutes?
Q. Every time a man complains about a woman's sexual past he gets told he has no right to talk about it. But a lot of women will judge a man if they hear that he has slept with a prostitute. It's hypocrisy. If the past can't be held against one ...
A. 25 July 2011: If a man had an objection to my morals I would not mind that, I know that with my past not every man is going to like it and I would never feel upset or annoyed if a man did object to my past - that is his choice and that is fine. I would simply say ... (read in full...)
Should I worry he might be losing interest in me?
Q. Hi all, Out of the blue my man asked me if I was losing interest in him. Of course I told him I wasn't because I'm not, and asked him the same, he said not at all! Do you think I should be worried that he might be, or was he just feeling insecure ...
A. 25 July 2011: He is just feeling insecure, simple as that. He lost his job so he will be worried that you will lose interest in him, a lot of men feel they have to be the 'provider' and their self esteem is wrapped up in their ability to provide and look after ... (read in full...)
Pressure over lending money to my fiance, please help!
Q. Hi, I need advice. Basically I am engaged (have been for a year now). I am working part time at my dad’s shop and generally trying to make money for the future. My girlfriend has been unemployed for about 2 years, she has tried her best to get a job ...
A. 25 July 2011: So she has broken up with you because you wouldnt give her £600? Wow.
Sorry to say this but I think you are best off without her, she is clearly using you for money and now she cant get what she wants, she is throwing her toys out of the pram. It... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date 2 girls at the same time?
Q. Ok so i havent really dated much in the past. Ive only had a LTR which ended about a year ago and i havent gone out with a girl since. Just recently i met a couple of girls and i was needing some advice. Theres this girl i met and i am extremely a...
A. 25 July 2011: I think it is fine to date them both and see who you life the most. Especially in the US, it is far more acceptable to date a few people and then only when you really like one person is when you stop dating the others and go 'exclusive' with that ... (read in full...)
Should I say happy birthday to my ex?
Q. So my and I have been broken up for 3 months now and at first we tried to be friends but i couldnt handle it cause it hurts so much and it was to awkward..so we haven't talked to each other for awhile now. I feel like I'm not over my ex yet, but i'm ...
A. 25 July 2011: Dont say anything. You said yourself, you are not over him fully and didnt want to be friends before, so there is no point in opening up a friendship or new conversation with him now.
He is your ex - you are not together anymore and are not frie... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my girlfriend? Leave her for my best guy friend? Date a different girl? Or go to college single?
Q. So this is a bit of a sticky situation. Over a year ago, my best friend (turning 20 years old this December) was suicidal and I (just 18 this year) was her go to person. During one of her episodes she confessed that she couldn't be with the person ...
A. 25 July 2011: Go to college single. The relationship with your girlfriend is not working, you should have never agreed to it in the first place and the way you are continuing, you are only going to hurt her.
As for the other 2 - well you cant truly know how... (read in full...)
What gives women the right to judge men for having been to prostitutes?
Q. Every time a man complains about a woman's sexual past he gets told he has no right to talk about it. But a lot of women will judge a man if they hear that he has slept with a prostitute. It's hypocrisy. If the past can't be held against one ...
A. 25 July 2011: Ok well as a woman with a reasonable amount of sexual history, with a number that might make men a bit uncomfortable (nothing crazy but after seeing many men on this site who get upset over the smallest amount of sexual experience I'm sure a few men ... (read in full...)
I took the coat to her, so surely she should be the one to travel to return it to me?
Q. I am hoping you could give me some objectivity here. You see my gf and I broke up a few months ago. It was an ugly break up. A lot of wounds. Still, there is anger and resentment on both sides. Now, while we were dating I lent her an expensive coa...
A. 25 July 2011: You are the one that wants it back - she wont care either way if she keeps it or if you have it back. She is being very reasonable to offer to meet you half way, that is the most fair way of doing this.
Stop being stubborn and just go and meet... (read in full...)
Pressure over lending money to my fiance, please help!
Q. Hi, I need advice. Basically I am engaged (have been for a year now). I am working part time at my dad’s shop and generally trying to make money for the future. My girlfriend has been unemployed for about 2 years, she has tried her best to get a job ...
A. 25 July 2011: Your girlfriend is being unfair here, and you are right not to want to lend the money to her. My hobby is horse riding, I work full time in a pretty good job but cant afford a horse, I know how expensive they are! Instead I have weekly lessons which ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for someone to drop hints about proposing someday?
Q. Hey, I'd love some male and female perspectives on this please - I've been with my bf 10 months, everything is going great, and recently he's started saying he'd like me to move in with him, that he hopes we will 'settle down' (i.e., have a family) ...
A. 25 July 2011: Ok well first of all - you have only been together 10 months, it is far too soon to be getting married or moving in together so just try and relax and slow down a bit.
It is prefectly normal to talk about the future and get excited about it - any... (read in full...)
Who broke up with who?
Q. Just out of curiosity, if a woman breaks off an engagement to someone and states the reason as being- "I just want to be me and he doesn't", what exactly is she trying to say. Call it naive if you will, but does that statement pretty much mean...
A. 25 July 2011: Yes she broke up with him. Its hard to say exactly what she meant without any context or being there to hear what really happened, but it sounds like she feels he is trying to change her, because she just wants to be herself whereas he wants her to ... (read in full...)
This guy dated my best friend and fooled with another friend's heart. Is he playing me?
Q. Hello all. So, I just got out of a really difficult relationship (still being yanked back and forth a bit, but I'm so done with his games) and my ex from over a year ago started contacting me randomly again. Some of my friends have said that he ...
A. 22 July 2011: Not too sure what this guy's game is, but you are right to be worried - it doesnt add up really. If he is dating lots of girls and has dated a number of your friends, then clearly he is not comfortable with being single and likes to have lots of ... (read in full...)
When is the best time to have sex so she doesn't get pregnant?
Q. My girlfriend doesn't want kids and I'm not ready for them. We have just started to have sex. I do wear a condom but I want to make damn sure that I do not get her pregnant. but we don't have the money for birth control not to mention if her family ...
A. 22 July 2011: There is no time of the month where you can be certain a woman wont get pregnant. Even during a woman's period she can still get pregnant, so there is no magical time when you can be having sex with no risks. Technically the most likely time for a ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to lose weight? 100lbs seems so overwhelming!
Q. Hi all. This is more a self-esteem/relationship with myself kinda deal. I'm currently 220 lbs and at only 5'4", I'm a big girl. It sucks and I hate it. I was actually one of those girls you called anorexic back in elementary school because I was so ...
A. 22 July 2011: Well first of all congratulations on making the first step to actually realising your weight is a problem and you want to change it, I know that sounds silly but it is actually a big deal to finally come to terms with your weight and be serious ... (read in full...)
Movement in my stomach, What could be causing this?
Q. Okay I am VERY sure I am not pregnant. About 11-12 weeks ago I had sex. Anal none the less. It was 3 days after i started a new pack of the pill (which i have been on for over a year now) Off and on I feel movement in my stomach...I am n...
A. 22 July 2011: Go to your doctor. It sounds like you are not pregnant but if you are experiencing medical problems see a doctor to get checked out.
Strangers on the internet cannot diagnose you - you have to seek help from a qualified medical professi... (read in full...)
My man's kid plays with her kid, and I am worrying that the mum is coming on to my man!!
Q. Hi agony aunts and uncles, i hope you can give me some advice on this problem i have, i always come to this site for advice, it might be nothing, but from a outside view you will be able to tell me if i am being silly or it needs addressing. I am...
A. 19 July 2011: Starxxx is 100% right - this is just jealousy because you want to be able to move in with him but the children are stopping you at present.
I dont think she is interested in your man at all, you honestly have nothing to be worried about. The kids... (read in full...)
Is this best option? Am I wrong in now not wanting to attend my son's wedding after all the humiliation he has put me through?
Q. I recently split up with my partner of 7 years. I've kept myself busy with preparations of my sons wedding in 2 weeks.It has stopped me from mourning my loss, and helped me fight the tears and pain that are tearing me up inside. I loved my partner ...
A. 19 July 2011: It is difficult to help you here when we dont know why your son doesnt like the person you invited, and why you have only invited this person last minute? Surely the wedding has been planned for a while and you sent out the invitations some time ... (read in full...)
Should I just stay patient, until they break up? She's with my friend. I had my chance but left it too late to try
Q. hi guys i recently asked for help on getting closer to this girl who i like. But i found out yesterday from my friend who i respect and i think hes a nice guy that he goes out with her and he even told me he loves her a lot! How am i supposed to f...
A. 19 July 2011: Just be happy for them and try and move on. You missed your chance and you know that, so at least be pleased that 2 good people have found each other.
There are plenty of other girls out there, so leave her be and let her be happy with her new ... (read in full...)
We want to have sex but she is too dry! Help!
Q. I love my girl soo much which is tha same case with her.. Bt the problem is she is a "virgin".. Every time we try having sex she gets dry and it becomes difficult for me.. Help help? Or should i use a condom for lubrication??...
A. 19 July 2011: Condoms do not provide lubrication. They stop you from catching STD's and prevent pregnancy, but they cant make her lubricated. If you want her to not be dry down there, then spend some more time on foreplay, getting her really turned on and ... (read in full...)
Trapped in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years, wife won't have sex and won't say why she doesn't want to. Should I leave?
Q. I have been with my wife for almost 20 years now. We have had a sexless marriage for most of that time. We were arguing about it even just 1 year into the relationship. It's not that we never, ever have sex, but we go years in-between having i...
A. 19 July 2011: You need relationship counselling or to leave, simple as that. Stop waiting for her to find a therapist - find one yourself, today, and then book the appointment and simply tell her when it is and where she needs to be. Dont give her the choice.
... (read in full...)
Is leaving something to the imagination actually a way to attract men?
Q. Hi guys any insight here, I asked my boyfriend why he thinks my friend gets so much attention from guys on our nights out compared to my other friend. And was a pretty confusing answer to what i expected... Both girls are absolutely model...
A. 18 July 2011: I've never heard of anything like this! Most guys I know and all the men I have dated really dont like tights, they think they're frumpy and hard to get off if you had a moment of passion!
There is a lot of truth in covering up a bit and not havi... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: The simplest thing to do here is cut off contact with him - so delete his phone number, block his emails, facebook, your gaming account...whatever you need to do to stop him from contacting you, then do it.
If he cant send you messages anymore ... (read in full...)
How do I make it clear I don't want it to just be a one night stand without it being a massive turn off?
Q. Hi, I'm looking for a bit of advice. Firstly, im not a slag, so please don't accuse me of being one. I admit that I have very low self-estem, and having sex makes me feel better about myself. There's a guy I really like, and I'm planning to have sex ...
A. 15 July 2011: Quite simply - he wont want a relationship with you if you have sex with him before you are officially in a relationship. If you sleep with him right away he will never think of you as anything more than an easy girl to get into bed, definitely not ... (read in full...)
I'm having sex with my best friend's married father who is 54!
Q. Basically, i am having sex with my bestfriends dad. I am 25 and he is 54. He is still married and has been for 27 years. His wife is 58 and he says she dows not share the same sexual desire as he does. It all began 3 month ago when i stumbled...
A. 14 July 2011: Ok, well if you cant control yourself then be prepared to live with the consequences, I'm sorry to say this but what you are doing is pretty low, you have no morals and not a good friend or person in general, I guess you and the cheater deserve each ... (read in full...)
What would be safe times to go walking on my own?
Q. I know this isn't exactly a relationship question and probably comes across as pretty stupid but I'd really appreciate some advice on it as everyone I know doesn't have the experience to answer. In a couple of months I'll be going to university in...
A. 14 July 2011: I dont know who has told you about not being able to carry deodorant in the UK, that is complete nonsense! My friends and I take deodorant out with us all the time on nights out and have never been once stopped for this, even when having a bag check ... (read in full...)
What if I break up with my boyfriend and regret it and I'm not happy with the other guy? Or what if I don't and I end up completely happy? How do I decide?
Q. So, I have been dating my boyfriend for over two and a half years. We broke up after about 6 months because we were both in different places, but got back together afterwards. Since then, things have been great and our relationship turned around so ...
A. 14 July 2011: Well normally the grass is not greener on the other side, so unless you have some pretty serious issues with your boyfriend I would say stay with him.
Maybe if you provide a bit more information on what is wrong with your current relation... (read in full...)
My boyfriend caught me masturbating and said I was cheating!
Q. Hi everyone, So ive been dating this guy for 2yrs now, and i always ask him to take showers with me and his response everytime is no, then when i was in the shower i was masterbating when he caught me. When i got out of the shower he was so mad a...
A. 13 July 2011: It does indeed sound like it is time to finish this relationship, he is obviously very controlling, has double standards, is immature and is not treating you right. You are a young girl with your whole life ahead of you, dont waste anymore time with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend caught me masturbating and said I was cheating!
Q. Hi everyone, So ive been dating this guy for 2yrs now, and i always ask him to take showers with me and his response everytime is no, then when i was in the shower i was masterbating when he caught me. When i got out of the shower he was so mad a...
A. 13 July 2011: Gosh what an immature little boy! I bet he masturbates, I think he would be pretty pissed off if all of a sudden you got mad at him for masturbating!
I dont really know what you should do to be honest, he is being so unbelieveably stupid about th... (read in full...)
I'm having sex with my best friend's married father who is 54!
Q. Basically, i am having sex with my bestfriends dad. I am 25 and he is 54. He is still married and has been for 27 years. His wife is 58 and he says she dows not share the same sexual desire as he does. It all began 3 month ago when i stumbled...
A. 7 July 2011: What will happen? Well for sure you will lose your best friend, he/she will never forgive you for this. You are sleeping with his/her dad, and helping their dad to cheat on their mum, that will be the lowest of the low to your friend. Plus you will ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with my professor and he won't be teaching anymore!
Q. I'm currently in a situation that's causing me a lot of concern...i'm expieriencing something I cannot fathom and I'm afraid this might turn into a depression. A Little Introduction: I have this professor at college. A little detail------ h...
A. 7 July 2011: Simply try to keep your distance and the obsession will fade. Whatever you do, DO NOT take this special paper, it is on a topic you dont have an interest in so you could end compromising your grades for the sake of an obsession.
This is somethin... (read in full...)
Based on the signals, how can I get her to like me?
Q. So there was this girl I liked a few months ago. She is 14 and I'm 15 and we both go to different schools. She liked me back and when I asked her out, she said yes. Then she texted me saying that she wanted to hang out more before we date. We ...
A. 7 July 2011: Well if she wants to hang out with you and texts you frequently then these are good signs that she likes you, it will be easier to judge when you meet up with her at the weekend rather than trying to guess how she feels right now.
Watch her body... (read in full...)
Could my ex-girlfriend still have feelings for me?
Q. Hi everyone. This is the first time I've ever asked for advice on-line so I apologise if I start to rabble on. First of all I am a lesbian. I normally don't notice things like this but I've been wondering if maybe my ex-girlfriend still likes me. ...
A. 7 July 2011: Well it does sound like there are still some feelings there, how strong they are is another matter and strangers on the internet simply cannot tell you that.
But one thing I do want to say - you broke up because of the distance, so what makes yo... (read in full...)
Over/under on if she likes me or if we will have a relationship?
Q. Hey guys I need of some very general advice. I Jane kinda had this thing with this girl for ages and now I am almost definate that i want to be with her. I'm gunna give you a lot of background info so that you can understand as fully as possible. O...
A. 7 July 2011: Ok just stop messing around and ask her out! She has told you she liked you and she felt she missed her chance, so clearly she has feelings for you (even if they are up and down). There is no point in waiting around for some signs she likes you - ... (read in full...)
Is he afraid of getting hurt?
Q. hi everybody i like this man i met 6 months ago we were together for 8 weeks and i was getting feelings for him i never told him though he said he needed to get his head sorted before he could be with somebody properly he texts me everyday just to ...
A. 7 July 2011: Possibly - you are not going to find out though unless you ask him! If he has just come out of a relationship then chances are he may need some time to get over her, so he doesnt want to get too involved with you while he is not ready for a ... (read in full...)
Have there been students who have married their teachers?
Q. Hello, my question is: have there been students who have married their teachers? (by the way, Im 15 years old, and my teacher whom I have a crush on is 30. He went out of the country to get a masters degree, but we remain in contact.) do you think ...
A. 7 July 2011: It is incredibly rare for a student to marry their teacher, mostly because if the teacher starts a relationship with the child he will end up in prison, because he has comitted a serious crime and is a sex offender.
It is fine that you are frie... (read in full...)
I feel henpecked by my fiancée
Q. Hi... strange one this and its doing my nut in. it was my birthday last week and my fiancee, who i'm marrying in august, came over to visit. we talked then she started getting picky about things which started an argument off... i told her not tod...
A. 7 July 2011: I'm with the anonymous poster below on this - why are you marrying someone you have been with for such a short amount of time? Surely you must realise how stupid it is to rush into marriage, and that one of the main statistics in the divorce rates ... (read in full...)
I know we're young, but I want a baby! Is this a good idea?
Q. im 16 and i want to have a baby me and my partner been together some years now and im ready to have a bby i know a baby comes with alot of expenses but we both are working and he's a senior and im a junior. and we have a lot of money saved up ...
A. 7 July 2011: One word - NO. DO NOT TRY FOR A BABY.
In terms of health, here is why having a child under the age of 20 is a bad idea:
- Teenage mothers are less likely to gain adequate weight during their pregnancy, leading to low birthweight. Low... (read in full...)
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